A/N: sooooo there's an Additional Warning this chapter for a traumatic nightmare

Oh my god this fic was not supposed to be this dark but I SWEAR I'm not trying to break your hearts, we're almost through, there is light at the end of the tunnel and everyone's gonna be ok.

Thanks to everyone reading, and especially to everyone who's left reviews! It's no nice right now to just share the experience of angsting and crying over these two lovable disasters. I hope everyone is healthy and safe, and that She-Ra can provide some positive distraction for a while

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"My, my, my," Double Trouble says, crossing their legs as they take a seat at the council table next to Glimmer. They look around at the assembled Princesses – Mermista, Perfuma, Frosta, Scorpia, Entrapta, Spinnerella, and Netossa, all sitting straight-backed in their chairs with frowns on their faces. "You all seem tense." Double Trouble's bound in Netossa's net, the way Catra had been yesterday, but Adora's not sure that means they couldn't get out of it, if they tried. They haven't tried. "Whatever brought this on?"

"Oh, I don't know," Perfuma huffs. "The end of the world?"

"No," Double Trouble says immediately, smirk stealing across their face. "You've dealt with that before, and I remember – it was chaos. So what's got you now?" Their eyes flick over to Catra, standing by the wall. Perfuma and Mermista grimace.

"I'm more concerned with what's got you," Catra says. She strides forward and swings herself onto the council table in front of Double Trouble. "I seem to remember you saying you only pick the winning side. And yet here you are, with us, when there's a giant spaceship hovering in the sky."

"It doesn't look good, does it?" Double Trouble agrees. "Is there any particular reason you Princesses haven't used your super-weapon against it yet?"

Adora, Bow, and Glimmer look at each other. Spinnerella and Netossa each shoot looks at Perfuma, Mermista and Frosta.

"That's not your concern," Catra says, crossing her legs and nudging Double Trouble with her foot. "All you have to worry about it helping me get some sensitive cargo off of that warship."

"Catra," Glimmer warns. "What are you thinking?"

Catra smirks and leans over her legs, into Double Trouble's space. "I'm thinking that if Horde Prime ever saw me on his ship again, he'd throw me into the brig for questioning."

"Okay..." Glimmer says, and Adora's whole lower half turns to led.

Catra's fingers move up to Double Trouble's face, a canine peaking through her smirk, but then suddenly her eyes widen and she snatches her hand back, leaning away. Double Trouble tracks the movement through narrowed eyes, and Adora feels the phantom press of a hand at her throat. "And..." Catra continues, clearing her throat, "I'm thinking that Double Trouble could escape the brig in two seconds, impersonate whoever they want, and get to wherever we need on the ship."

Double Trouble watches Catra carefully. "And why would I do that?"

Catra looks dead into Double Trouble's eyes. "Because I've been on that ship, and I've seen the other side in this fight. There's no one to pit against each other in Horde Prime's army. You work for him, or he brainwashes you and you work for him anyway. You could run, maybe, but you could only hide as another subservient Prime clone. Not just playing one, but stuck as one, forever, unable to change into anything else, or ever be yourself again. And that's not what you want – is it."

Double Trouble shivers, just for an instant, and glares at Catra. "I'm not sure I like the way I've rubbed off on you," they say, and it sounds much more like an admission that Adora thinks it's supposed to.

Mermista groans. "Isn't trusting one enemy enough in this mess?"

Glimmer sighs. "Catra's right. She and I barely made it off Horde Prime's ship the first time. Double Trouble's the only one who has a chance of getting the power he stole from me and getting away again."

"Oh?" Double Trouble's ears perk up. "Have you lost some of your sparkle, Princess?"

"Yes," Glimmer admits. "And it's what I need you to get back for me. Or just – get out of Horde Prime's hands."

"And into no one else's," Catra growls pointedly.

Double Trouble blinks, serpentine eyelids sliding inwards and then out again as they look from Catra to Glimmer. "Well this certainly isn't the budding relationship I was expecting," they say, and something hot and uncomfortable squirms around in Adora's gut.

"Yeah, none of us are fans," Mermista says.

"Even if Double Trouble does help us, Glimmer, it's a lot to put all of our faith in," Perfuma says. She turns to Bow and Adora. "Did you find anything at your Dads' library that could help us with the Runestones?"

Bow glances at Glimmer, then squares his shoulders. "There is a way to disconnect the Runestones from each other. But – it comes at a cost."

"A cost?" Perfuma balks. "Isn't giving up some of our power enough? What else could we possibly –"

"We have to sever out ties with our Runestones completely," Frosta interrupts, "don't we?"

Perfuma gasps. Everyone goes quiet, staring from Frosta to Bow.

Bow looks at the table. "Yes."

"No," Mermista says. "No way. How would we protect Etheria without our powers?"

"You'd still have your powers once you learned to use them again," Netossa says. "From what we found out, it seems that Runestone Princesses could control the elements before they built the Runestones. Your elemental powers would stay intact."

"It was the First Ones who built the Runestones for the Heart, so they could harness your powers," Bow explains. "But your powers came first. You don't need the Runestones."

"Yes we do!" Perfuma flings out her arms. "I do. I've never – we've always had the Heart Blossom in my family, always taught the next Princess how to access its power."

"You really don't have any stories from before that?" Bow asks. Perfuma hesitates, and Bow looks to Mermista.

"My Dad never told me how it worked," Mermista admits. "I've just...always been able to wield ocean magic."

Frosta looks down at her hands. "I had to figure things out mostly by myself, since my parents died when I was so young. It felt like – like merging a part of myself with my Runestone. I don't know how else to explain it."

"I only just connected to mine." Scorpia's voice wavers. "And it felt like – like I was connecting to my family again. I don't want to lose that."

"The Runestones are still yours," Spinnerella says, sudden steel in her voice. "Even if they're First Ones tech, your families still forged connections to them over generations. They are yours. They're just not the source of your magic."

"We won't let the Horde take them," Bow says, "but we can't let Horde Prime hack into them, either. We need to take them offline, or he'll destroy the whole planet, and use it to destroy other planets. We can figure the rest out later."

"But...disconnecting from our Runestones...how would that even work?" Mermista asks.

"Adora?" Glimmer looks to her. "You're the only one who's ever done it."

"I –" Adora's chest squeezes, and she hugs her arms around her middle. "I don't know. It was heat of the moment, I...just couldn't let the Sword fire the Heart. I fought against it and...I guess the Runestone couldn't take the pressure."

I won't be controlled.

"But how did you let that piece of yourself go?" Perfuma says, voice shaking.

I am not a piece of their machine.

"Didn't you feel it trying to use you?" Adora asks. "The Heart, when it was trying to fire, it reached inside me...tried to make me what it wanted..."

The Princesses look at each other.

I am not a weapon.

Scorpia exhales. "When I connected to the Black Garnet...it felt like coming home again. Like I was finally who I was supposed to be." She lifts her head. "But I'm not supposed to be anything, am I? I can chose who I want to be, just like I chose to go find Entrapta, just like I'm choosing to help you now."

Perfuma twists a strand of her hair into a rope and grips it tight. "Coming home...that's exactly what it feels like. When I first met She-Ra, and I was losing the Heart Blossom, it felt like a piece of me was dying...to have that back was everything. And you want us to give that up now? When we need it most?"

"It's not real," Catra murmurs. "It's just First Ones tech, and they didn't give a shit about you."

Perfuma twists her hair hard enough that a couple of strands break and float down to the table. "It is real. The way my parent taught me to use it – that was real." Tears gather in her eyes, and Mermista carefully lays her hand on Perfuma's arm.

"Because they did care about you," Glimmer says. "And that won't go away! It doesn't matter if the Runestones don't care about us, because we care about each other. That's real. We know it is. We can depend on each other, keep each other going, Runestones or no."

Frosta's mouth sets in a line. "We're stronger together," she affirms. "We can do this."

Perfuma takes a shaky breath in and out, glances at Mermista, who nods at her. "We can try," Perfuma says.

"You'll be fine," Catra says. She looks at Adora, just for a second, and again, Adora is pinned to the spot. "If Adora's leading you through it, you'll be fine."

Adora's face heats up, and her stomach twists, and she wants...something. She wants something.

"This is all very touching," Double Trouble interjects. "But if you're all here disconnecting from your Runestones, who's going to help me? I may be the best there is, but I am not going into the Headquarters of an evil, unknown empire alone."

"Of course you're not," Catra scoffs. "Even with your powers to hide you, Horde Prime will be expecting something. You'll need a distraction."

"No," Adora says, before Catra can get any further. "Absolutely not."

"Are you sure?" Glimmer asks instead. "You just escaped from there."

"Which means I know how to get back on board," Catra says. "I can take Double Trouble up in Mara's ship and keep Horde Prime occupied long enough for Double Trouble to break the container and get into an escape pod."

"I can't ask that of you," Glimmer says, shaking her head.

Catra almost smiles. "You didn't. I offered."

There's a pressure squeezing its way from Adora's stomach up her esophagus. "I said no."

"Adora," Glimmer sighs.

"We can't trust her!" Adora explodes. "Maybe this has been her plan all along." Adora points between Catra and Double Trouble. "She knows we have to keep an eye on her at all times, and with Double Trouble impersonating her, think how hard that will be!"

Double Trouble raises an eyebrow at her. "Worried she'll slip out on you while you're chasing me? I admit my performance is precise enough to fool even you, but if you spent less time chasing and more time observing, you might be able to spot the difference."

Adora slams her hands down on the table in front of Double Trouble, but has no follow up.

"Adora," Glimmer says. "How could this have been anyone's plan all along?"

Adora's fingers curl into fists against the tabletop. "Catra's always been one step ahead of us," she says.

"Neither of them have anywhere else to go," Glimmer continues, "and we have no one else to help us."

"It doesn't make sense to put two untrustworthy agents in pivotal roles that far away from supervision," Adora says around gritted teeth.

"If we're dismantling the Heart ourselves, they're not really pivotal," Mermista points out. "I actually prefer this."

"We aren't in a position to be choosy," Bow argues. "And Catra is the best at distractions."

"Guah!" Adora yells, because there's nothing she can say to any of that. "What about you?"

"What about who?" Catra snaps.

"You! How are you getting off Horde Prime's ship?"

Catra looks to the side. "I'll find a way out."

"Three days ago you told us that Horde Prime is an unstoppable force, and now you think you can outrun him by yourself? That's a terrible plan! Aren't you supposed to be good t at this? Come up with something else!"

"Adora!" Glimmer pleads. "Calm down!"

"Catra's gotten out of tight spots before," Frosta decides. "If she thinks she can handle this, then she probably can."

"See?" Catra sneers. "This is what I'm good for, Adora."

Adora roars. "You're not a thing, Catra! And you're not invulnerable! I can't let you do this!"

"Let me? I'm not asking for your help," Catra spits, eyebrows coming down and forehead creasing, and this familiar ground, at least. This is Catra leaning in, digging in, looking Adora dead in the eye. "I'll do this myself like I do everything else if I have to –"

"You don't have to!" Adora shouts. "That's the whole point of the Princess Alliance! We do things together!"

"I'm not a Princess!"

"Because no one told you you should be?" Adora retorts, and Catra reels back like Adora's slapped her.

Adora's punched her, before.

Everything stills. Adora's heart pounds into the silence, one, two, three...

But Catra's still looking at her. "I'm not helpless, Adora."

Adora swallows, pushes the heels of her palms into her eyes. Glimmer puts a hand on her shoulder. "Adora," she starts.

"No," Adora says, voice breaking. "No."

"I'll go, too," Entrapta pipes up, and Adora's breath shakes as she lifts her head from her hands. "Catra's very good at distractions, but Adora's right: she shouldn't go alone. I'll go with her."

"No," Catra says immediately. "You...don't have to do that."

Entrapta's pigtails arrange themselves like huge hands that clasp nervously in front of her. "I need to go find Hordak anyway," she says, and Adora feels every muscle in her body tense. Catra looks like she's about to bolt. "We can all escape together."

Catra's face twists and she flexes her claws like she's getting ready to fight instead. "Fine. But you keep him the hell away from me."

Entrapta raises her welding mask halfway up and peeks out from under it. "I don't think there's a need for you two to fight, if you just –"

"No," Adora growls at the same time Catra does.

They look at each other. Adora opens her mouth to continue but Catra's claws dig into the table with a sharp screech and she closes it again. Catra turns to Entrapta. "I may owe you everything –" she shakes her head. "Anything except that. I'll do whatever you need me to do. But you keep him away from me."

Entrapta meets Catra's eyes for a long moment. "Okay. I don't get it, but – okay."

Slowly, the fight-or-flight leaves Catra's shoulders, and she nods.

He wouldn't have used it on Entrapta.

"But –" Adora starts.

"It's fine, Adora. Entrapta can do what she wants," Catra says, like she's the one who gets to decide when they're done arguing, which after everything, is just –

"So, what, you expect me to just stay here and do nothing and trust that you'll hold up your end of the bargain?" Adora snaps.

Catra's ears flatten back, but she's not looking at Adora anymore.

"You won't be doing nothing, Adora," Glimmer says gently. "You'll be helping us."

"You don't need me to disconnect from your Runestones," Adora points out.

Glimmer comes over to her and takes her hand. "Not magically, maybe – but you're our center, Adora. You're our support. And we need it now, more than ever."

Adora swallows. Glimmer's looking at her like she used to, back before the first Battle of Brightmoon, like she believes Adora can do anything in the world. And Adora tries to look back at her friend, her Queen, who brought them all together from across Etheria, who gave them something to fight for, and believe that Glimmer somehow needs her to be their center.

"Glimmer's right, Adora," Perfuma adds, getting to her feet to join them. "Sword or no, your power brought us together. We need you here with us."

Mermista and Frosta nod at her, and Adora finds herself surrounded by Princesses, by friends, who somehow, despite everything, want her with them, here at the end of this giant mess that she's created. Adora sees them smile at her and tries to smile back, but before she can stop herself, she glances up at Catra. Catra's head is down, in some sort of silent conversation with Double Trouble, but her eyes flick to Adora, just for an instant, and in that moment Adora would give anything to be able to read her expressions like she used to. Then, something in Catra's eyes flicker, and she gives Adora a tiny nod before she looks away. Adora doesn't know what it means.

"Okay," she says.

"Okay!" Glimmer repeats, confident, and squeezes Adora's hand as she looks around at everyone. "Catra, Entrapta, and Double Trouble will leave on Mara's ship first thing in the morning. Scorpia and Adora will lead the Runestone Princesses in disconnecting from our power sources, and Bow, Spinnerella, and Netossa will secure the defences around Brightmoon. Is everyone agreed?"

Perfuma nods. Frosta summons her ice fists and nudges Scorpia, who nudges her back.

Mermista puts her hands on her hips. "Let's show these space creeps what we're made of."

"For the rebellion!" Bow cheers.

"For the rebellion!" echoes in the chamber, and for one, shining instant, it all seems possible.

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The tunnels in the Fright Zone are narrow, and the shadows are long – Adora likes to keep to the more open spaces. But Catra's always had a knack for exploring.

"See? Look," Catra's poking at a particularly large pebble in her outstretched palm. "This one almost looks like the Black Garnet."

Adora shoves her, just enough so that Catra has to drop the pebbles to keep her balance. "Hey!" Catra screeches.

"You're not supposed to know what the Black Garnet looks like."

"So? I do. What am I supposed to do, just erase it from my memories?" Catra rolls her eyes, but Adora's stomach clenches. Some people say Shadow Weaver can erase memories. Some people say she can read minds and make people do things they don't want to do.

"Just don't talk about it! What if Shadow Weaver hears you?"

"So?" Catra repeats, and a shadow falls over her.

"Adora," intones Shadow Weaver, and Adora scrambles to her feet, saluting. Shadow Weaver chuckles and pats her head. "At ease. I just wanted to make sure you'd completed all your assignments for today, even the extra ones."

"I did!" Adora assures her, smiling. "Catra, too, she helped me solve the one –"

"You cannot rely on Catra," Shadow Weaver's voice goes dark.

"Why not?"

Shadow Weaver shakes her head. "No one should know that much about the Black Garnet, Adora."

Adora's stomach twists, and she spins to look behind her. Catra's gone. "Catra?" she calls, voice high and cracking. "Catra!"

"I couldn't have her corrupting you, Adora," Shadow Weaver explains.

Adora spins back to her. "Bring her back! Please! Please bring her back, Shadow Weaver, I promise I'll keep her away from the Black Garnet room, she'll be good I swear –"

"Shhh," Shadow Weaver sooths, one of her hands glowing red and coming down to cup Adora's face. "You won't have to worry about her anymore. You won't have to think of her ever agai –

Adora bolts awake, gasping, blood pounding through her veins. A dream. Just a dream. But the room is dark and empty. She stumbles out of bed, pulls on a pair of pants and throws her jacket on over her night shirt, sprints out the room. The dim lights are blue here, not green, but the shadows still run long – she doesn't stop until she reaches Catra's room. She goes for the door handle but a spark shoots up her hand, driving it back. The barrier. The barrier she'd put up.

"Catra!" she shouts, heedless of the guards on either side of the door. "Catra!"

The door stays closed. One of the guards takes a tentative step forward.

Adora's heartbeat pounds in her ears. "Catra!" she screams.

The door is yanked open. On its other side, Catra stands, shoulders sagging, light from the barrier spell bouncing off her half-open eyes. "What, Adora?"

Adora's knees land suddenly on the ground. Catra's eyes widen, and she stiffens, standing above Adora with that confused little frown –

"Catra," Adora sobs, and Catra blurs in front of her as tears stream down Adora's cheeks.

"Woah, hey," Catra says, falling onto the floor on the other side of the glowing doorway. "Adora. What's wrong."

"Nothing," Adora says, panting. She wipes at her cheeks. "Nothing."

Catra frowns harder. She reaches a hand, covered in fine, soft fur, towards Adora, then stops. "Adora."

Adora shakes her head frantically.

"Adora, seriously. You're freaking me out. What's going on? Are you –"

"Just!" snaps Adora. "Stop. Just, stay there, a second, I need to – just stay, please –"

"Okay," Catra says quickly. She sits down, cross-legged, across from Adora. "Okay, fine."

So Adora just breathes, ragged breaths in and out, and looks at her. The blue light from the barrier spell makes Catra's hair look green, throws her face into shadow like the lights of the Fright Zone used to. She's not looking at Adora, but Adora can still see her eyes, yellow and blue, bright in the dark. Eventually, Adora's breathing evens out.

"Shadow Weaver dream?" Catra asks, like she doesn't expect an answer.

Adora sags. "How did you know?" How does she always know?

"Because they're fucking terrifying," Catra says.

"You get them too?" Adora asks.

It takes a while for Catra to answer, but when she does it sounds like someone has taken a brick off her chest. "All the time."

Adora swallows. "I thought you thought I wanted to be her favourite."

"You did," Catra replies, "but I get it now."

Adora tries to feel her hands, digs her nails into her palms until they hurt. "I should hate you," she says. She's sounds like she's complaining.

"Yeah, you should."

And it's true. But she's so tired. "I never tried," she admits.

She hears the sound of Catra's nails scratching against the floor. "I almost followed you," Catra says, "when I came back without you and all Shadow Weaver did was yell at me for it. But then Hordak offered me the promotion, and I –" her voice catches.

"Wanted to be Shadow Weaver's favourite," Adora finishes for her.

"Wanted to hurt you," Catra finishes for herself.

Adora's throat squeezes hard and two more tears spill down her cheeks. "She threatened to take you away," Adora whispers, voice cracking. "Shadow Weaver. In my dream. Sometimes I forget she used to do that."

A beat of silence. "You never told me that. I knew, but you never told me."

Adora nods, sniffling and wiping at her nose with her wrist. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to scare you." She swallows. "I didn't want you to run away."

She almost feels Catra's sharp intake of breath through the air between them, almost hears her chewing on her tongue. "You didn't want to lose me," Catra says.

Adora sags against the doorframe. She really is so tired.

"I used that against you," Catra continues.

"Why," Adora asks, one more time, and this time it's barely a whisper. "What were you saying?"

Catra is silent for a long time. "I was saying, 'stay with me,'" she confesses into the dark.

Stay with me, okay?

But –

"That's what I was saying to you," Adora points out. "I said it so many times. Why did you never listen?"

"I said it first," Catra says, like she's telling her a secret.

Why are you doing this?

Because you left me!

Has it always been that simple?

"That's not fair," Adora croaks.

"I know," Catra whispers. "I'm sorry."

The tension leaves Adora like from a punctured balloon. I'm sorry. Three times to confirm. It shouldn't be enough. It's not. But something in Adora calms, this time. She closes her eyes, breathes out. Opens her eyes again just to make sure Catra is still there.

"I'll come back," Catra says, because somehow, still, she knows. "You don't have to let me stay here, but. I'll come back from the mission. I'm not alone anymore, that's what you said, right? I'll come back."

Three times.

Adora looks at her. Just...looks at her. At her two shining eyes, one blue, one yellow, both brighter than anything else in the world. "You promise?" she says, and Catra finally looks back at her.

"I can't promise something like that," Catra says. She scratches a circle into the floor with her claw. "You figured that out before I did. But I want to come back. I'll do everything I can."

Adora tries to swallow down the lump in her throat. Gives up. Keeps looking at Catra, at the blue-green glow of the barrier spell reflecting off her hair, shining in her eyes. There's no way to keep her here. There's never been any way to keep her away from somewhere she was determined to get to, and doesn't Adora have the scars to prove it. "Everything?" she asks.

"Everything."

Adora nods. She doesn't get up. A new shift of guards comes to relieve the ones stationed outside the door, standing tall on either side of it as their fellows shuffle off to bed. And still Adora sits there in front of Catra.

"You can sleep here if you want," Catra whispers, and Adora doesn't mean to, but she can't convince herself to stop looking at Catra, and when she wakes up sunlight is pouring through the hall and her neck is sore and her legs are cramped and her butt is asleep.

And Catra is still there. Curled up in a ball on the other side of the door, snoring softly, Catra is still there.

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A/N: ...and breathe out.

Imagine being a Brightmoon guard though, like what a life; after watching the five billionth drama unfold while they just stand there, they probably need like eight vacations.

Thank you for reading! I know there was a lot of angst to get this far and I appreciate you sticking with me. If you feel so inclined, please consider leaving comments or kudos, or reblogging this fic on tumblr.

Have a nice She-Ra Season 5 Eve-Eve, everyone!