AN: Post TLJ. Sorry gang, it's been awhile, but I've been publishing a book. If you like steampunk, let me know or have a look at my profile.
"Secrets are the currency of intimacy." - Frank Warren
She manages to hold out three months after the events of Crait, before she finally opens the bond, desperate to know how he is - how he fares after becoming the Supreme Leader. On a remote planet with the Resistance, there are no updates. No rumors. Only the tattered remains of the few who might stand up to the First Order. Try as she might, as much as she mediates and studies the ancient texts, Rey still has ties to the physical world. Her friends. The Resistance.
Ben.
Opening the bond is easy - the connection between them is a living thing, organic and once unlocked, Rey realizes how much energy she has been using to maintain the distance between them. She sees him clearly, in his customary black, alone.
He looks to his left, where she would be standing, as if she was physically present.
He's silent and Rey isn't entirely sure he's aware of her.
"Of course I am."
Unsure how long the bond will last, she looks at him, reviewing his features. He's the same and yet changed - harder, more masculine.
"Have you told them?" His tone is neutral, but his expression is anxious. That familiar quirk of his jaw belies something...
"What?" she asks, forcing herself to break eye contact.
"Of us." Her deepest secret. It's been on her lips to tell Finn or Leia on countless occasions, but she's never been able to bring herself to do admit the connection. "Ah, you haven't. So embarrassed by what we have?"
The Jedi texts say nothing specifically of secrets, but Rey imagines the ancient scholars would frown on anything outside the truth. Why then, does it feel so good to keep things private? In a universe where she's had nothing, given nothing, been nothing, this one small thing for just her is-
"Something to appreciate?" Ben provides. "Yes, I feel it too."
Rey crosses her arms. "So, you haven't spoken about me to Hux or the rest of your Knights?"
At Hux's name, Ben (she will only think of him by this name) pulls a face. He answers, "I had tapes destroyed."
"They think I killed Snoke?"
"Yes."
"And the Knights?"
"I haven't told them otherwise."
Some small part of her shivers at this unspoken thing between them. That he hasn't revealed the truth is a nearly pleasurable level of trust. Forcing her emotions down, she asks, "Are we to keep this secret until the grave, Ben?"
"I see no reason not to. You've put your lot in with the rest of the rebel scum, so it is not as if our paths will cross in the foreseeable future."
His words sting unexpectedly. "What about the bond?"
"What about it?"
Rey can hardly admit that she's felt more alive in these past few minutes than she has in the entirety of the previous months. "I… It's unique."
"I suppose it is."
He's starting to fade. She catches herself from reaching out, but asks, "Will you…"
"Yes?"
"Will you keep our secret a bit longer then?"
She isn't able to hear his response, but feels his confirmation across the bond. A secret that's tangible, something to keep her company at night. She knows their situation won't stay like this forever, but perhaps she can trust Ben just a bit longer. After all, the faith in each other works both ways.