Author's note:

I'MMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Ok so first off my sincerest apologies for my absence. Life got in the way as well as I developed a serious case of writers block. It took me a while to develop how I wanted these next few chapters to go as far as how Isla would react to what has happened as well as the the other characters. It was a very delicate and difficult decision. But I am pleased to say I have finally hashed it out and over the next few days you will be receiving a few updates before I go into a steady schedule of posting at least once a week. Thank you for all of the reviews and encouragement you guys are the best and I hope you like this chapter. It was rewritten about five times. There may be a few grammatical mistakes bc I really wanted to post before work. But I will return to fix them lol. GAAHHHHHH It feels so good to be back! :D

After breaking the mirror in his bathroom Kylo Ren ripped off all of his clothing and bandages to step into the shower. He didn't even bother to turn the cold water on choosing instead to stand under the scalding water while his body protested in pain. Good, he thought to himself. The more pain the better. Maybe if he was lucky the water would peal off his skin. That might be a good start to atone for his recent actions. If nothing else it helped to take his mind off of what had happened. But not really if he were honest to himself.

His thoughts wandered to all he had done in the past few days. First with killing his father, something that had been both easier than he had thought..and much harder. Though he really held no love for the man after years and years of training beneath his master, he had hesitated in that final moment...and nearly failed. There was a single moment where he had almost released his lightsaber and gone with the man he had once called father. He so longed to see his mother...But thankful he had come to his senses and went through with his master's command. However, he couldn't fight the feelings of sorrow and loss that bubbled up in him now. Han Solo had at one time been his hero...before he had sent him away to train beneath his uncle ...before he abandoned him.

Then there was Isla. Kylo closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the wall of the shower. He could not even bring himself to think of her. What he had done to her..there was not even a word to describe that atrocity. He was the master of the Knights of Ren. Even though he longed for the power the dark side could give, he had a code that he was suppose to live by, and he had thrown it all away for the sake of his mission. He thought back to what had happened. He tried to tell himself that it was for greater good. He even used the excuse of he had done it for her sake so she would not be thrown to the stormtroopers. He tried to reason that it was a necessary evil. But in reality there was no excuse. There was no justification. He had taken her soul and ripped it to shreds. His actions alone were abhorrent made even worse by the fact that he had let his anger take hold of him and pushed him to make take her pain to a new level .

The scenes replayed in his mind. He winced as he saw himself smack her to the ground and how he smiled at the pain and terror in her eyes. Kylo released a roar and punched the shower wall until his knuckles bled. This had been his first time with a woman. But it was not how he had imagined at all. Not that he had ever really planned to give his virginity to anyone. But not this way. That was something he had always been taught was sacred. Yet not only had he had been tricked into throwing his away in a fit of rage, he had ripped a girl's away from her in the worse possible way. This was only made worse by the fact that he knew her, she had remembered him, she had even used his name. She had onced loved him and depended on him to chase away the nightmares of her dreams. Now he had become one them. How much had he worsened her pain? How much could he have spared her? How could he face her again? Why did her pain make his entire body scream in agony? Why did he even care?

"Grandfather.." He whispered out-loud.

He was on the verge of repeating his usual prayer to his grandfather begging for guidance, begging him to show him the power of the dark side. But when he opened his mouth...those were not the words that fell past his lips.

"Could you have really done this? Would you have done this to grandmother if your master had commanded it?"

Kylo stood in the shower until his skin finally went numb and the scalding water no longer affected him. Then he finally stepped out and sought out once more the safety of his dark clothing. He threw the blood stained clothes he had ripped off into the incinerator before carefully cleaning the blood from his mask until there was no trace of the insulting liquid. In the past he had been proud when he had seen the blood dripping from his mask. It reminded him that he was a powerful warrior and a fierce killer. But now he scrubbed at his mask so hard he thought for a moment he might scrub the black right off the metal. After that he slowly left his room and made his way towards the bay where his shuttle waited to carry him to his ship. When he finally disembarked from the shuttle onto the star destroyer one of the officers waited patiently for him at the bottom ramp.

"Sir we are ready for departure at your order." The man said politely. "Also the Supreme Leader sent over a number of things taken from the prisoner's ship. He commanded that you look through them to see if they had information that could help you in your journey."

"Very well. Have them taken to my quarters" Kylo Ren said looking around. "Has the prisoner been brought aboard yet?"

"Yes Sir," The officer said. "She has already been taken to the prisoner's corridor."

"Is she awake?" He asked as he began walking forward out of the bay.

"Not to my knowledge, Sir."

Then she had not woken from the sleep he had put her under. He had been concerned that she might.

"Good. I want you to have the medical officers sent to her quarters immediately." Kylo said as the bay doors opened and he continued down the corridor.

"But Sir-" the officer began.

But Kylo Ren stopped and turned so quickly towards him that the officer nearly ran into him. The officer looked panicked as he stopped short and his eyes widened. Kylo stepped up to him and glared down at the man through his mask causing the officer to cower and sweat to instantly start pouring down his face.

"Yes?" Kylo growled dangerously bearing down on the other man. "Tell them that I will be coming to inspect the prisoner's condition soon and if I find a single bruise..or cut...or even a hair out of place on her..I will hold them and YOU personally responsible, and you will pay for it with your lives.."

Then he turned and stomped away leaving the officer scrambling for the nearest communication line to carry out his orders. Kylo turned around the corner and paused for a moment as he saw General Hux walking towards him. Of all the people in all the galaxy this was the last man he wanted to see. He had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts about the events of earlier and the girl he had completely forgotten her brother. Now a new wave of guilt came crashing down on him like a storm. He held no love for this man to be sure. But he would not wish this fate on anyone that he could think of even Hux. He had just discovered his beloved sister was alive after thinking her dead for most of his life only to find out she had been abused by their own father. Then he had been forced see her viciously raped right before his very eyes by an ally that he despised. Even if he had helped her to escape her room, in Kylo's mind he did not deserve this, no one did.

Slowly he began to step forward again. Hux had not seen him yet. He seemed in a daze as he slowly walked down the hall. He reminded Kylo more of a ghost as he glided along. His face was paler than usual but his eyes were bright red and puffy. He moved slowly with his shoulders slouched and his head hung. He seemed to be staring at his hands that were out before him. He did not look at all like the well trained officer that Kylo hated. He looked as broken as his sister. Kylo wondered what he was thinking as he approached him.

"General Hux.." He said in his usual robotic voice.

Hux did not respond but simply continued to walk forward until he was nearly beside Kylo.

"Hux.." Kylo said again putting out his hand to stop him.

Hux finally stopped walking and slowly lifted and turned his head to look at Kylo.

"You destroyed her.." He said quietly. "You and the Supreme leader."

Kylo said nothing. There was nothing to say.

"She was all I had left...I had just found her again...and you took her from me...my only family...and now she is gone." He said in a broken and empty voice.

"She is still your sister. " Kylo tried to reason. " But even you yourself denied her. You were going to have her put to death for being a traitor."

"That would have been a kindness…." Hux whispered.

He stared at Kylo with a deadpan face. But his eyes burned with a bright furious blue that Kylo was sure would have incinerated him if they had the power to. They reminded him of Isla's furious blue eyes when she had attacked him for the first time. Then the image changed to one of her dull grey eyes staring up at him like those of a corpse as she lay beneath him causing a cold shiver to run across his body. He could not deny the General's words

"You have...broken..her," Hux struggled to say. He turned his eyes to the ground for a moment. Then raised up again to look at Kylo with a look of death on his face. "Now I swear on her grave...that I WILL..break..you.."

Kylo just stared at the other man. He was not sure what to say to that so he remained quiet. Any other time he would have laughed at the man's threat and returned with his own..but in this case...He expected no less. Then Hux's words rang through his head once more and he tilted his head.

"She is not dead General...I did not kill her…"

A single tear trailed down Hux's face as he shook his head.

"No," he whispered and brought his eyes up to meet Kylo's, "... I did"

The two men stood in silence while Hux's words echoed through the empty corridor. Kylo felt his blood run cold and his heart drop from his chest. Anger suddenly seized him causing him to lunge forward to grab Hux's collar and lift him several inches of the ground.

"You are lying," his robotic growl quickly became a primal roar. "TELL ME YOU ARE LYING!"

Hux barely struggled as he hung in the air. His blank face slowly tilted down to look at Kylo. There was almost a manic look in his eyes.

"She is gone…" he whisperd.

Kylo brought Hux back down close to his mask his deadly aura almost physically crackling around him.

"If she is gone….you will not be far behind her." He said before he forcefully threw Hux into the wall of the corridor and stormed off towards the prisoner's quarters.

Hux lay in a crumpled pile against the wall.

"She is gone Ren!" He cried as he slowly leaned up. "ISLA HUX IS DEAD!"

Kylo was moving as fast as his body could carry him without breaking into a sprint. His body buzzed in fury..and panic. No no no, she couldn't be dead. If she was all was lost. His mind rushed through what might happen should he find her not alive. His rage boiled beneath the surface of his skin. He couldn't think about that. His mission everything he had worked for would be gone with her if she were. No he did not want to think about failure..or her death, not after everything else…. and not before he had the chance to…..Kylo shook his head no..she wasn't dead..He would not allow it to be a reality.

Ahead of him the guards stood outside the prisoner's door. He flew past them barely allowing the door to open before he ducked beneath it. A moment later he was at her side. As before he could feel nothing from her which caused a feeling of dread to seize him. He leaned down over her and put his hand to her throat to check for her pulse. At first he felt nothing. But then he felt an ever so slight thump thump..thump thump. She was alive. Kylo felt a wave of relief wash over his body and allowed his shoulders to drop. Now he could see her chest moving ever so slightly in her sleep. He sat down on the side of her bed to catch his breath while he looked her over.

She looked like a fragile glass doll, like the ones his mother had kept in his childhood. She would always keep them hidden in a chest locked away in their home. He had once asked her why she kept them. She told him that they reminded her of long ago when she was a child. Before she became a general. They made her happy. She never showed them to anyone else not even his father. She had always been afraid Han would laugh at her for keeping them. Kylo had thought she was afraid that they would make her look weak. But to him watching his mother protect those dolls made her seem stronger. She locked away the things she wanted to protect and never allowed anyone to take them from her. They were her secret treasures.

As he looked over Isla's body he took note of every cut and bruise. Each one seemed to stab into him. He knew she was his enemy but at that moment he wished he could take them away away from her, especially the ones that could not be seen. His eyes trailed up to her face and paused. His brow furrowed in irritation as he saw dark new bruises on her neck. Where had those come from. He had not put them there. Slowly he leaned in towards her face to get a better look at the bruises. His fingers reached out to gently turn her face to give him a better view. His anger surged if Hux put these here he would make him pay for every single one…

It was at that moment a pair of blue eyes flashed open to stare at him. Kylo's gaze quickly shot up to meet hers. For a moment silence hung in the air as he stared down at her and she stared at the mask above her. In his mind Kylo was desperately searching for the words to say. But he never got the chance. Isla stared at him for a long moment before she opened her mouth and released a loud horrific terrified scream that echoed across the ship.

A/N

Again I hope you enjoyed. Things are only going to get more intense from here. Next chapter we will see Isla's reactions and inner thoughts and how Kylo will respond to it. ooooooohh its gonna be GOODDD. Thank you for reading and please leave me your thoughts!