A/N

Hey guys so I know its been a loooong time since my last update. There is no excuse I do apologize. This is a very dark part of the story that has been hard to write for me. But thankfully I have been finally able to get through my writers block. I will be publishing this chapter tonight and then the next chapter in a day or so. It should be out by the end of the weekend. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I will be getting back to my reviewer shout outs next chapter.

Quick Warning this chapter is very dark. This is an intense and probably the darkest part of the story following the rape scene. Things are going to change for this couple...but they will get dark before they get better. I hope you are able to stick around through it because I PROMISE it will be worth it. I still love this couple and soooooooo ship them especially once we get through the next couple of chapters. Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 12

(One week later)

Isla lay curled in a ball on her bed. After her initial shock she had cried for nearly an entire day in the corner before finally moving back to her bed. During that time no one had bothered her other than to bring in a tray of some colorless tasteless food that was fed to the prisoners of the ship. Not that she was hungry for anything. The idea of allowing any sort of food fuel the vial disgusting thing that was her body made her thoroughly nauseous. So she simply lay there lost in her own mind not eating barely drinking or sleeping.

Her mind was a jumble of thoughts. She couldn't focus. Mainly her thoughts kept returning to three thoughts, questions really. How could he have done this, Why had she not listened to the head counselor of the Enlightened, and most importantly, How could she end this pain? She knew why this had happened to her. There was not a question in her mind as to 'why'. It was because the Supreme Leader of the First Order was a royal bastard who delighted in seeing the pain and suffering of others. But he would get his..of that she was confident. But how could Kylo have done what he did? She knew he didn't remember her. She knew for sure he was now of the dark side..She knew what he had done to his own father..But how could he have done this..not just to her but any human being. How could someone take possession of someone else so easily..and destroy them so completely? How could a life and soul matter so little to him?

Isla released a quiet moan from the pain she felt in her heart. Her body had long since gone numb from the physical pain she suffered. But it was the pain of her heart breaking that harmed her now. The counselor had been right. She should have listened. He was not the same person she had cared for as a child. He had changed. He himself had said he was not the same person. He had been correct at least in that. But he was wrong in thinking he was simply a different person. She now thoroughly believed he was not a person at all. He was a monster. A monster straight from her nightmares.

To make matters worse now she was a slave... not even a person, a slave. That thought made her body turn cold. She was not even a person anymore. She was an IT. The proud warrior of the Enlightened broken and reduced to a slave of the First Order. If her comrades could see her now….or worse her master, if he could see her now. He would be ashamed. Isla curled her body into an even smaller ball to hide herself from the world and her own thoughts. How could she have done this? How could she have been so stupid as to sacrifice everything. WHY ISLA WHY? She demanded of herself.

She should never have gotten caught. She should have never had held out the hope that he still remembered her, or that he still cared. Now all she could do was find a way end her life, for herself, and for her master. She knew that both he and Snoke had seen some of the locations that Luke had possibly taken his new apprentice. She had failed in concealing her thoughts to them. She thought her training would be enough but she was wrong.

So she could only hope that he had taken Rey elsewhere and that she would be able to end her life before he returned to find the other locations. It was the last useful thing she could do with her now meaningless life. It was all she could do after throwing everything away on a hope she had held since childhood. She had betrayed everyone..for him. Isla released a stifled sob. She could not bear to see him again. The idea of seeing that mask sent chills down her spine. The idea of him being anywhere close to her nearly sent her into a panic attack. No she would need to do it and do it soon.

Slowly she rolled out of her bed and stumbled her way over to her sink. She could tell her body was severely dehydrated. She could barely lift her arms or her legs in order to step forward. Her balance was off from lack of sleep giving her the feeling of being drunk. Oh how she wished she were. She could tell her body was in the beginning stages of shutting down anyway so what did it matter if she sped things up. She finally made it to the sink and grabbed onto the sides so that she could lean against it for support. Gasping from the exertion of simply walking over she slowly looked up into the mirror. She didn't recognize herself at all. But what was worse was that looking at the stranger in the mirror made her angry. She detested that pale face and those sunken features. The dark bruises that covered her now paper like skin. Just looking at that face made her want to vomit if there had been anything in her stomach to vomit.

She reached up and with all of her strength slammed her fist into the glass of the mirror. It did nothing. So she reared back and hit it again with her fist. Again the glass did not break. Her frustration began to rise. She attempted to hit it again. But the only thing that happened was her wrist popped causing her to clench her teeth in pain. She needed something heavier. She turned around to look around her cell. Everything that she could have possibly used had been taken out while everything else was either bolted down or too soft. She needed to think of something. She turned around to stare at the glass for another moment before she reared back and slammed her forehead into the glass as hard as she could.

~Crack~

The force of the hit combined with the weight of her head finally cracked the glass on the mirror. Isla didn't make a sound as she slid down the mirror and over into the sink. It took a moment for her to regain her senses before she was able to open her eyes. At first she saw nothing but red. Finally she was able to focus and realized that the red was her blood running down her forehead into the sink. It was everywhere. She struggled to stand back up straight. When she looked in the mirror she saw her face covered with blood and a large gash across her forehead. She took a small amount of satisfaction in the wound on her skin, simply because it was the one thing recently on her own body that she had been able to control.

She reached up and with some trouble ripped a large shard of broken glass from the mirror. She gritted her teeth as the sharp broken glass cut into her hand. It didn't really both her though, not anymore. She slowly slid to the floor and leaned against the sink just staring down at the glass in her hands. She had never thought her life would end this way. She had hoped her life would have more meaning than this. She had hoped to do something good. To change the universe for the better some how. Even though she would never admit it a part of her hoped some day to have a family and children of her own. She had hoped to settle in some beautiful green place close to the sea in a place similar to where she had grown up. She would have wanted a small simple cottage, maybe a few animals, a garden just as her grandmother had grown, possibly a baby or two or three or four. She thought she would have liked that. But no more. Now the best she could do was end her life to protect her master's and his apprentice. If she could make Kylo Ren fail his mission that would be enough for her.

A strange peace settled over her. She was ready. She lifted the shard in her right hand and brought the edge down on the center of her wrist. She pushed the blade hard into her skin wincing as blood appeared from the wound and pain shot up her arm. It was the first thing she had felt in days. She was about to drag the broken glass up her wrist to her forearm when she heard the sound of the door opening. She slowly raised her head and looked up into the mask of the stormtrooper who stood in the doorway holding her tray of food.. He could not believe the vision of horror before him. Isla stared up at him with blood still running down her face from her head injury and her glass still pressed into her wrist. Her hand was beginning to burn from the pain of the injury.

Suddenly the stormtrooper dropped the tray of food and surged forward to stop her. He had been ordered by Kylo Ren himself that should any harm come to her he would be held responsible, and he did not want to die. Isla continued to stare at him as he rushed at her. At that moment two thought flashed through her mind. The first thought was 'Damn I wasn't able to finish the job. I have failed yet again. But that thought was quickly followed by another in which she wondered if maybe she didn't have to kill herself after all. She suddenly had an idea.

The officer of the bridge released a stifled cry as he was lifted off of the ground by a raging Kylo Ren's power. It had been a week and still no progress had been made on the hyperdrive of the ship being fixed. Granted he had refused to allow them to return to the main port of Snoke's ship for repairs, choosing instead to be on their way towards the ocean planet where he had seen his old master. But in his mind they were in a hurry and should have been adept enough to make the repairs on the way. They did not have time to stop. The longer they took the greater the chance that Luke Skywalker and Rey had left where he thought they might be. Not to mention the further Rey might be in her training.

Those thoughts coupled with Kylo's own sleepless nights and irritable mood did not help his temper or the situation. He was honestly getting to the point of wanting to rip his hair out of his own scalp. Hidden beneath his helmet were dark circled eyes and a tired face from tossing and turning and no sleep due to the girl's iratic thoughts swirling through his brain at all hours. Not even meditation had been able to quiet her broken voice. Between that and memories that she had awakened in him was driving him insane. His master had not mentioned it would be like this. He was almost to the point of giving into her pleas for death and finding another way to track down skywalker. He had already attacked several of his own men in a rage and he had been forced to change sleeping quarters after demolishing the first. He was sure if he did not find a way to control this his men might mutiny against him out of fear for their lives.

In a desperate attempt to stop the voice he had searched the archives for any information on the devices in the hopes of finding some relief for himself. But there was little to no information on the devices. The only information he could find said basically what his master had told him and mentioned that those who welded it did have the power to quiet the voices of their slaves in their own minds as well as make their own voices heard in the minds of their slaves. But it did not say how. Some even believed the mental connection between slave and master could become permanent even when the device was removed but there was no concrete evidence to support the claim.

He used his force powers to throw the officer across the bridge before he turned to the other officers present who looked as if they wanted to run for the nearest paddock and hurl themselves into space.

"Anyone else want to explain why the ship is STILL not able to enter hyperspace?"

No one dared move or breath in front of their commander.

"Good," He said coldy. "Then I expect us to be up and running TODAY!"

Suddenly a strange feeling came over him and he turned to look over his shoulder. He felt a strange calm from her. For a week now he had been tormented with her depression, confusion and descent into suddenly was a feeling of calm washing over him? It was almost a feeling of acceptance….A feeling of dread quickly formed in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong. He instantly turned and stormed away from the bridge towards her quarters.

Why..Why had he been cursed in this way? First it was her with information on his old master. Then it was her powers then she remembered him and he was beginning to remember her. Then Snoke made her his slave..now he was trapped with her after she had been broken mentally and physically while she slowly tortured his mind to insanity. It seemed as if the universe had decided to completely turn against him and was determined to ensure his mission was a failure.

On top of it all he couldn't understand these strange...feelings he had when it came to the girl. He had guilt from what he had been made to do to her. But he also felt a strange sort of protectiveness for her and he couldn't deny there was something about her that fascinated him to no end. He quickly buried those thoughts away. It was nothing he told himself. He had to protect the information she held on the whereabouts of Skywalker, and it was her powers that fascinated him, nothing more. She was dangerous and the sooner he was away from her the better. That was why he had avoided her at all costs for the week. She was nothing to him but a resource. That was what he kept telling himself. As soon as she told him the whereabouts of Skywalker and he found him. She was dead period.

Kylo Ren stormed down the corridor towards the prisoner's wing. Why had he not been paying attention to her thoughts. After he felt the feeling of calm come over her, he thought he heard her say something in her mind about about failing and an idea. But he had not really been listening. He had been more concerned with the hyperdrive and his damned luck. Why had her voice in his head gone so quiet? Why did he feel pain coming from her again? Was she alright? WHAT WAS GOING ON!? He suddenly felt an adrenaline rush surge through his body coming from her and heard the sounds of her screams combined with male shouting inside his head. His stomping down the hallway suddenly sped up to almost sprinting. If any of those idiot stormtroopers had laid their hands on her….He would enjoy making them regret the day they were born. He came through another door to be met by a storm trooper.

"Sir I was on my way to get to you sir," The stormtrooper said quickly. "Its the girl.."

"What's happened?" Kylo Ren asked as he continued his trek onto the prisoner's ward.

"She's gone insane sir. We opened the door to feed her and she attacked us." the stormtrooper responded as he fell in behind his commander.

"Is she hurt?" Kylo asked.

He already knew the answer. He could feel that she was feeling pain.

"Yes sir...but not by our hand…We are not sure what happened."

The pair rounded the corner where He could feel the rage and desperation coming from the room. Two more stormtroopers stood in the doorway. He could hear them attempting to bargain with her. But frankly he didn't give a damn about the words they were saying.

"Stand aside," He growled causing them to jump back to allow him to enter the room.

Kylo froze in the doorway and his eyes widened behind his mask at the scene before him. Isla stood on the other side of the room by the sink. The stormtrooper tasked with feeding her was standing in front of her with his mask off. Her arms were wrapped around him holding him to her. In one hand she held his blaster to his head, in the other she held a large shard of broken glass that was pressed into the side of his neck. The man looked terrified. She had drug him across the room and against her in such a way that he couldn't get his balance and was forced to lean against her so that her chin rested on his shoulder as she looked across the room. Her face and arms were covered with blood. Kylo could tell it was her own mainly coming from a giant gash on her forehead. But it was not the blood that had him frozen in place. It was the way she looked, and the way she looked at him. She did not look like the same fireball he had met just over a week ago. She barely looked human. She stared at him with wide bloodshot eyes. Her hair was a wild mane all around her. She looked like a wild animal that had been driven into a corner.

When she had first laid eyes on him coming through he door he felt a feeling of fear shoot through her and a scream echo around his head. But that was quickly replaced by another feeling of adrenaline, rage, fear….. and relief? She stared at him for a moment before a demented smile appeared on her lips.

"Well….if it isn't the great Kylo Ren...come to discipline on your pet?" she asked in scratchy almost inhuman growl.

A/N

Whew this is intense. I did say things would get worse before they got better. Next chapter we will see what happens and what Isla's idea might be. Thank you guys so much for sticking around. We are getting close to a turning point for these two in the next couple of chapters. I hope you hang around until then! Please let me know your thoughts I always love hearing from you! XOXOXOXOXOXOOX