Gaara stared into the vast horizon. All he could see was sand for miles. Between his hands, he crumpled a piece of paper. It took all of him not to curse the world and burn the paper- releasing him from the pain he was not accustomed to. His hand itched to destroy something- anything, to make him forget.
But he knew how impossible that was. Right now, he just needed time to think. Time to gather his thoughts and make a plan. He felt Naruto come up to him from behind, a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"We're going to find her, Gaara, believe it," he says. Gaara knew he was just trying to comfort him but he couldn't find it in himself to be comforted. He wanted to be angry. He felt so foolish, letting his guard down like that. Perhaps Miyuki had done her mission, for Gaara felt like he was dead. Yet, he felt worried about her. She had not done her mission, so what would become of her if she went back to the people who have been using her powers for evil? Using her friends and family as hostages. He clenched his fists.
What bothered him most was the fact that she had gone off again, on her own. Taking the responsibility of it all. Why wouldn't she just let him help her? And why was he so adamant in doing so? Was it because she reminded him so much of himself? He looked at Naruto, who had a worried expression on his face.
"She reminds me of me," he told him. Not really knowing why. Naruto smiled and gave him a small nod. Gaara nodded back. They were going to set out looking for her and the other girls. He just wished they weren't too late and that Miyuki had not done anything foolish. He could almost laugh. Knowing her, she probably already did.
"We're ready to go, kazekage-sama," a voice called over them from behind. Gaara stared back at the vast desert before them. Miyuki's talent would have been so helpful right now. If he could see her chakra, he could follow her. But of course, it wouldn't be that easy.
They set off right away. He was determined to find her anyway.
Miyuki didn't understand what she was feeling. She had put enough distance between herself and Suna and the Kazekage. Yet why did she still feel like binds were tied around her throat and body? She had to find Eiichi soon. She had to do everything it takes to free the girls. Even if it meant she had to die for it.
She held the memory of last night deep inside her. She was never going to allow herself to forget it. To forget how Gaara had held her. She felt normal. Contented. Safe. In those arms, she felt something she was never allowed to feel. Yet she knew such a feeling would never leave her now, not until her last breath. She wanted to preserve that memory and did not allow herself to ruin it by thinking about what she might have caused when she left this morning.
Waking up next to him had felt like a dream. A dream she shattered so quickly. She did not deserve it. But to hell with the gods. She was keeping that memory and that time with her. No matter what happened. She had that. She had the Kazekage's love. No matter how temporary and fragile and impossible it felt. She had it. Yet, now, the love felt so heavy inside her. She didn't know what to do but keep going. She could feel the tears in her eyes but refused to acknowledge them. She couldn't keep him. But she could keep the memory. That was what she told herself as she set out to find Eiichi and the girls. To tell him she could not kill the Kazekage but in turn, she would be willing to become his weapon.
She would be willing to give up her soul. So, this body of hers could be used to whatever he wanted. She laughed bitterly at the thought. Hoping Gaara had read and understood the letter she had left behind. She could not kill him, but Eiichi could. And there was a possibility he would use her as a vessel to do it. She shuddered, not wanting to let her thoughts continue down that path.
"Ah, love has made you a coward," she told herself as she followed the threads of chakra before her. She could feel the harsh breeze on her face, but she could not feel the sand. She wanted to. She wanted to know what sand felt like. Gaara felt warm and safe. Was that how sand would feel against her skin?
She had reached what seemed to be ruins. She could feel and see remnants of chakra, both new and very old around her. Did this use to be a battleground? She continued until she saw the chakra she was so afraid of.
"You're back," Eiichi's voice was harsh but suspicious. She turned to look at him, knowing how it irked him when he saw her eyes. "And the kazekage is still alive."
She does not respond. She searched the area for any signs of the girls. She could see remnants of their chakra but could not pinpoint their location. "Where are they?" she turned to face him again and heard him chuckle.
"Why do you care? You have condemned them to death by not bringing me the Kazekage's head," he says. She knew this and felt a pang of guilt. She had failed the girls, again and again, all because of her heart. Well, she was going to change that.
"Set them free," she says quietly.
"Then take it from me," she unleashes her curse, the markings covering her skin.
Eiichi raises an eyebrow, watching her. Was this a trick? Why would she be willing to give up her powers knowing he would still use them to kill her beloved Kazekage.
"You know what to do, don't you?" she asks him. A challenge in her voice. "You know how to remove my soul from this body and use me as a weapon? You did it before when we wiped out a country that is no longer in the map."
"Doing so would require you to give up a part of your soul," he says. "Soon enough, you would lose all of it and will no longer be able to act on your own. You are willing to do that for a guy you had just met?"
She felt a pang of guilt. Yet she tried to hide any expression on her face. "I do not care what happens to me or my soul. I am tired, Eiichi. I am tired of having a mind and heart of my own. Used as a weapon and knowing nothing will save me from eternal damnation."
"Set the girls free, once you are free to use my power for your selfishness, you would no longer need them," she argues. She tried not to sound desperate. This was the only bargaining card she had. If he would not take it. She would have damned the girls for nothing but her selfish need for love.
"And what happens if the whole of Suna declares an attack on me?" He asks taking a step towards her. She instinctively takes a step back afraid he would chain her up and drag her back to a prison she had lived her whole life in.
"Then you are free to kill them all," she says this without emotion. Without flinching. Without even second-guessing her words. She knew Eiichi would. And she knew Gaara would fight to defend his people. She also knew either side would have a chance at winning, although she prayed Suna would. So, this cursed body of hers would die along with her sins.
Eiichi laughs. "To have a weapon such as that, at my disposal. Without having to order you around. That would be a treat. Enough of a bargain for the lives of such menial and useless girls."
"Alright," he reaches out a hand. "You have a deal, demon. We shall perform the ritual at once."
Miyuki reaches out hesitantly and her hand pauses inches away from his. "I need to see them free, Eiichi."
The man laughs again and whistles. The girls get dragged out one by one. Miyuki wanted to run to them, to make sure they were all unhurt but she could not bring herself to. Not after betraying them. Not after allowing things to get this far.
"Miyuki!" Kei cried after her, she could feel the girl's arms wrap around her, taking her into a fierce hug and she had doubted her decision for a moment. "I was so worried about you. Please do not leave us again and take on a mission on your own." She looked at Miyuki, tears in her eyes, and Miyuki felt her resolve weaken even more. She was suddenly so afraid. What if these girls get caught in the crossfire anyway? No. She had told the Kazekage to take care of them. To protect them. She hoped the Kazekage would. Despite it all. She hoped he would.
The girls were unbounded and set free before her. Miyuki refused to speak, even if they kept asking her what was happening and why they were being set free. Miyuki could not speak even if she wanted to. She knew these girls would never allow Miyuki to do what she set out to do and it was all the better reason not to say anything.
Kei watched Miyuki with a confused expression. She didn't know what to do after being told she would be set free. Her first thought was Miyuki must have killed the Kazekage, and that was why she looked so devastating. Yet the curse marks that covered her body made her doubt. Why was Miyuki activating the curse? There was no enemy around them.
Miyuki merely gave her a small smile. One of the rarest smiles. Kei smiled back, feeling a little relieved she opened her mouth, reaching for her dear friend when everything turned black.