Chapter 6
Why
Constricted groans exited a heaving metallic mouth as its owner stirred from an exhausted offlined stasis. Antauri's optics zoomed in and out, adjusting to the room's color settings before finding the most comfortable preview. Hands to the bed provided him the leverage to push himself into a sitting position. His helmet was placed next to his sleep pod with his charger beeping a loud notification to inform him of his fully charged battery. Running his pristine fingers over his numb face, he felt a phantom urge to yawn—even though not having lungs.
Reality hit him as he looked at his bedroom, how did he get here? Unplugging himself and slapping his helmet back on, memories tried to resurface. The intense activity of soul bonding last night had really jumbled his main frame, causing his basic memory functions to scramble, making any attempt to remember seeming futile.
"Hey Antauri," Chiro's voice came after a loud knock from behind his door. "You up yet? It's almost ten!"
"I… am up," he answered while using mind over matter to open the door and allow Chiro entrance. "Is it really that late?"
"Yes, given the fact you're usually up by seven almost every morning."
"That… is usually when I online myself." His voice became distant and eyes unfocused, like his mind was swallowing up his self-awareness.
Chiro stared at his father figure for a few seconds before a sleek smirk wiggled across his face. Arms crossing, Chiro leaned against the door, his smirk growing into a coy smile. Antauri's distracted gaze barely able to catch this odd look.
"There a problem, Chiro?"
"Sprx mentioned you had plans last night… and with Vex's absence, haha. No need to hide it, I got'cha!"
"Chiro, now is not the time to—"
"No way!" Sprx yelled, running around the corner with a sleeping Nova in tow. "You mean to say you JUST woke up? Oh, my man!" The red monkey dropped his mate's arm and caught the silver monkey in a circuity crushing hug. "Tell us everything, leave no stone unturned!"
"Sprx, would you please lis—"
"Antauri finally found companionship?" Gibson asked while peaking around the corner with a steaming cup of tea in hand.
"Sure did, the wise old fart finally got a little action!" Sprx laughed and rubbed his chin. "Though his taste in girls are still a little confusing, but nevertheless, he finally did it!"
"Yay, Antauri finally found someone!" Otto cheered while taking his turn to capture their mentor in a hug.
"Team!" Antauri yelled, finally quieting his beamish family. Inhaling a breath, he folded his hands together to regain his composure.
"I apologize for the outburst, but please, there's a great concern at hand."
"What concern? That you're graduating from the school of abstinence?" Sprx snickered with a coy arm cross.
"What's abstinence mean?" Otto asked innocently with a finger pressed to his chin.
Before Sprx could explain, Chiro quieted everyone with a loud cough.
"Sprx!" He breathed in a sigh of relief to save Otto's innocence. "Alright, let's hold off on the congratulations for bit. What's going on Antauri? Was last night not… what you hoped for?"
"Though I feel sharing this information to be a bit… unsettling, I cannot deny the night was far more then I could ever ask for. But…" he sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead. "I had run out of power shortly after we finished and recalling my request of her to stay with me. But when I came to, I found myself alone… within my bedroom. I have yet to find Vexahlia anywhere."
The team's beaming smiles faded the longer they watched the distress grow on their second in command. Sprx, trying to keep a sense of cheer, nervously laughed while patting Antauri's shoulder.
"Aw come on, so she wanted to bring ya home. So what? She's just someone who likes the occasional drink while popping sleep pills like a caffeine addict slurping down coffee, I'm sure she's just wandering around somewhere and got lost."
Antauri's normally stoic face started to strain with fear peeking through his stone mask. This look caught by Chiro as he slapped a palm over Sprx's mouth to shush him.
"What Sprx means is… Vex is strong, I'm sure she's fine."
"That is not what… concerns me." He whispered, unable to keep his eyes from dragging down to his feet.
"Then what is?" Chiro asked.
"She had sworn to stay by me until I recovered my power. She's is not one to go back on her word. I know something is not right, I feel it deep within my soul."
The team exchanged nervous glances before whispering amongst themselves. Antauri watched this for a few minutes, getting a bit annoyed at being left out of whatever it was they were discussing right in front of him. He was not crazy, they all sought him for comfort and wisdom, why they'd seem to doubt him now was beyond his imagination.
"Antauri, we… didn't want to say anything. But since the war, you have seemed to be a little… I don't know, on edge?" Chiro spoke nervously.
"A little stressed to." Nova added.
As everyone stuttered to voice their concern, Sprx sighed and blurted out.
"You've been acting a little cooky and we think you need some kind of medical help."
Antauri's eyes widened in disbelief.
"In what ways have I acted that would lead to such judgements?" He replied defensively, fists bawled up to signal his rising frustration.
"It would seem you subconsciously believe we're still in a war. While your conscious mind perceives calmness, you still react strongly against things that are not a threat." Gibson explained, "As well, your senses seem to try and pick up on dangers that are not there. Multiple times we have even overheard you talking to someone else or verbally reciting memories. We're concerned is all."
"Yes, I won't deny I have been having minor… spells. But my behavior from before has no relation to what I'm concerned about now. Vexahlia is not present, I can sense something is wrong."
Everyone sighed as Chiro raised his hands to catch their attention. "We'll try calling Vex, but let's give her a little bit. Sprx is right, she does have a history of wandering off without word, so let's wait first."
Growling in frustration, Antauri nodded to his team and marched off into the next room. He was this teams' mentor, their second in command, how could they have become so dismissive of his feelings? Okay, dismissive was a strong word, but still they should still heed his concerns no matter what they might be. If they would not check on his now-wife, then he would just have to do it himself.
Antauri decided this as he made plans to go the brain scrambler to begin his search. He'd just tell the team he was going to run an early patrol, so they won't try halt his efforts.
The silver monkey nodded to his sneaky plan as he went to his room and locked the door, writing out a list of places his mate liked to visit for to him to check.
~Within the Spirit Realm~
Wisp took in a much-needed breath as the blank face of his former wife stared at him like a cold winter storm hovering over a summer day. Vex could tell he was struggling to ask whatever it was he wanted, but patience was a virtue, so she patiently waited for him to spill.
"Have you… ever stopped loving me?" The white monkey finally spit out.
Vex remained quiet, the weight of his question hitting her. She slowly shook her head, letting him know how her heart always felt. Even after the day he had ended it.
Shock seemed to hit Wisp as he turned away, staring at his feet in shock till Vex's footsteps alerted him. The grey female was walking away, he opened his mouth to stop her but her raised hand quitted his words before he even had a chance to speak.
"Body generates in five sixty seconds… then my spirit returns. Finish your words… quickly."
"W—what…" he didn't know what to say, everything he thought he ever knew was backtracking to quickly. "What are you… going to do upon returning?"
Her eyes darkened.
"Warning was refused, if not for the creature I have become… an inevitable funeral. Cannot allow one such as this to wander."
"You're going to find the one who shot you, aren't you?"
"Da."
"Then what, are you going to do to him what he did to you?"
Vex kept her back to Wisp, seeming to be immune to his raising stress levels.
"Said not what I will do."
"But I know how you do things; you don't need to say for me to know what you're probably going to do."
"Then why bother asking…?"
Wisp tightened his fist, anger starting to emerge.
"I thought you changed."
Vex turned to look at him, her eyes as empty as a freshly killed corpse.
"Even for an once life robber… old habits difficult to kill."
The white French simian shook his head, whipping it away from her, disbelief plastered all over his face. Vex could see what the male was thinking, and even through her numbed condition she could feel her own anger starting to rise.
"You label me a scum for delivering an action I've done always?"
"No," Wisp shot at her, fist tightening. "I never said you were, I just… thought after all this time, you'd be different."
Staring at him, Vex turned her back and started walking down the path that'd return her soul to that awful formless vessel. As she reached for the door, Wisp's hand suddenly grabbed her. The grey female froze, staring at the white male as if he lost it. Preparing to smack his hand away before tears started rolling down his cheeks.
"V—vexus… I need you to le… listen. Need to say something that I should have said a long time."
"No verbalizations needed," she grunted. "I returned to you after the transformation… You retracted your love because of me. I understand, now please let me—"
"It was never your fault!"
"What?"
Wisp breathed a heavy breath, struggling to keep himself levelheaded to explain the massive shock that was about to come.
"Don't you see… Mon ex amor? I could never take any blame, yet you always took it…" More tears coursed down his cheeks. "I blamed you for our falling outs, but I refused to acknowledge my role. I never told you how I felt, leading you to believe I was alright with it all… even helping you commit these crimes."
"I…"
"Please, Vexus, before le mess started… you never left me—you always bailed me out. Listened to me, protected, supported, and guided me. Then when life crushed you, what did I do? I… left your heart in the dark."
"Not what happene—"
"That is what happened!" Wisp snapped, grabbing her shoulders and burying his watery eyes into her mane. "Y—you were always so kind, taking on everyone's grief… never acknowledging your own. S—so stupidly nice, bend over backwards for others and then apologize to them for breaking your spine. You were not weak… y—you fool, you just didn't know where to draw the line!"
Vex pushed Wisp back, eyes wide with her mind going a million miles per hour. This was a topic she never dared bring up, it was one of the only few things that could truly trigger her. That was something she did not need, especially at a moment like this.
"Be silent," she sternly whispered. "My cowardly ways led to my fall out."
"You let your soul get ripped apart… simply because you only lost a few fights!?" Wisp wept angrily.
The female stopped, pupils going stale as her coloration seemed to pale over. This sudden frozen state confusing the grief-stricken monkey as he paused his tears.
"You think… that is why I folded to such things?"
Her tone became very dangerous, Wisp could feel ice starting to gather on his neck as his shut his mouth. Vex slowly looked away, fur rising like an angry jungle cat.
"Our only life's purpose was to be guardians… how, pray tell, does one measure up when that one realizes they are not strong?"
"I don't understand, you could've learned, grown in a safe way."
"Something within prevented my victories." Vex sighed deeply, rubbing the ridge between her eyes to soothe a rising headache. "It was not losing battles… but failing battles that mattered."
Wisp felt his stomach begin to drop the quicker realization dawned on him.
Vex glared at him.
"Tell me, Wisp… how do you look a father in the eye to inform him you failed to retrieve his kid because fear halted my efforts to take out a kidnapper?"
"V—vexus, I didn't know—"
A hand raised to silence him.
"Losing is one thing but failing someone is another. Can tear one's inside to ribbons. Something I could not let happen again." Her pupils reverted to sharp slits, "I despaired over the coward I was, needed… no, was desperate to change. Mistake was I believed the self-scolding thoughts within."
Wisp stared, shock washing through his system till veins were ice cold. Never knowing the truth, only now he understood how dangerously inaccurate his assumptions were.
"Killing myself to undo what I've done; you truly think living with heroes has been easy knowing what I used to be? As of this moment, I am not truly free. What I have been for over a century cannot be beat in one night."
"I…"
"Blood collects in my mouth from the strain it takes to keep my instincts aligned. How much agony it is just to be normal? One does not 'change' but takes effort and strength. Both of which I am running out of."
Wisp said nothing as Vex turned away, feeling like her point has been made clear. Grabbing the handle to the exit, she looked back once more.
"You'll always matter to me." Opening the door, she exited Wisp's presence.
The white monkey stared at the ground in shock. Not knowing what to do now that the truth had finally arrived.
"Vexus… your heart didn't make you weak," he spoke allowed even though she couldn't hear him. "Abounding people, like I did, is weak… But you held in your pains while carrying others. That didn't make you weak… you were strong and never even knew it."
He buried his face into his hands.
"I should've helped you see it sooner… as you've done for me when I was just a thief."