Before I knew it I was lying in bed looking up at the ceiling; Ben was currently in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I had decided to tell him my idea to help Evie and Doug when we were both in bed; as this was something that me and Ben were probably going to have to discuss at length. All I wanted is for all of my family to be happy and have everything that they wanted; and if there was anything that I could do to help, I would try anything.
I then started to think about mine and Ben's two perfect little ones, Edward and Isabelle and I couldn't help but smile. Me and Ben had the children that we had always wanted; a boy that looks like Ben and a girl that looks like me - however Edward had my bright green eyes and striking purple hair. Isabelle had no traces of Ben in her appearance but she had his nature and personality; but I knew that when they both grew up they would probably give me and Ben a run for our money. They both were starting to turn into cheeky little monkeys, given that they were four and two at the moment.
"Mal honey" I heard Ben say which broke me out of my perfect day dream and look over to him to see him climb into our bed.
"Yes?" I answered as he pulled the covers over us before he rolled onto his right hand side and propped himself up on his elbow.
"Is something on your mind?" he questioned. "You look troubled" he noted.
"Erm-" I muttered. "I want to talk to you about something" I advised.
"Oh" he asked as his eyes widened slightly in shock. "Right" he said as he slid his left hand into both of mine. "What?" he asked.
"It is just a thought right now-" I began. "I haven't decided anything" I urged and I didn't want Ben to think that I had made any decisions without him. "As this is a decision that we both need to make" I continued.
"I'm starting to get worried Mal" he admitted and I nodded as I pursed my lips together.
"I saw Evie today-" I started.
"Yes" he nodded. "I saw you both together walking around the gardens" he advised. "Is everything ok?" he asked.
"Well-" I muttered. "She is still beating herself up about not being able to give Doug children" I explained.
"I see" he nodded as he started to run his thumb along the back of my left hand. "I know it might be a stupid question-" he stated. "But how is she?" he asked.
"Really down in the dumps" I advised. "I am really worried about her" I confessed.
"Me too" he agreed. "But we will get her through this" he urged.
"Yes" I nodded. "I have had an idea" I stated.
"Ok" he said. "What?" he repeated.
"How about-" I began again before taking a deep breath to steady my nerves. "I give her a baby?" I suggested.
"What?" he asked in shock.
"I have a baby for Evie and Doug" I clarified.
"I don't know what you are trying to say" he quickly returned. "Mal any children we have need to go into the line of succession-" he stated.
"Ben listen" I advised cutting him off. "I'm not talking about me and you giving them a baby" I added. "I am talking about carrying Evie and Doug's baby; the baby wouldn't be ours; it would be theirs" I urged hoping that this would reassure him. "The baby would have nothing to do with me; it would be E's egg not mine; I would just carry the baby for her" I said. "Ben she is my sister and I want to try and make it better for her" I finished sadly.
"Hmmm" he purred.
"What do you think?" I dared ask as my stomach started to burn in apprehension.
"I can see what you want to do" he stated. "But I don't know" he advised. "It would put us both under a lot of stress" he said bluntly.
"I know" I nodded. "But we would get through it Ben; we are a strong couple" I said. "It wouldn't change anything apart from the fact that I would be carrying our friend's baby" I finished.
"Do you think you can do it without getting too attached?" he reasoned.
"What do you mean?" I said as I pulled one brow up in confusion at him.
"Well when you carry a baby Mal you bond with them" he reminded me.
"Yes because they are our children Ben" I stated. "Of course I would bond with them; they would be our family" I advised.
"You know what I mean Mal" he urged.
"Yes Ben" I confirmed. "And I know what you mean; but I wouldn't allow that" I explained.
"How?" he asked.
"Well-" I began. "When the baby is born they would get taken straight to Evie; not to me" I stressed. In all honesty I had been thinking about whether I could carry a baby for Evie and Doug and not get attached; but I think I could do it. As in the end they wouldn't be my baby; and I would be giving Evie and Doug the family that they have always wanted. "I wouldn't allow myself to be put any situations that would complicate things" I stressed.
"It looks like you have given this some thought" he noted. "Almost like you have made your decision" he said and I could hear the hurt in his voice.
"I have thought about it" I nodded. "I haven't decided" I explained. "I am not going to do this if you don't think I should; we need to make this decision together" I explained.
"Yes we do" he agreed. "How about this?" he offered.
"What?" I asked.
"We talk about this more" he said. "We shouldn't mention this to Evie or Doug until we have discussed this properly; there are other things that will need to be put into place" he continued.
"Yes" I nodded. "Thanks Ben" I smiled.
"You're welcome Mally" he said lovingly before he pressed a tender kiss against my lips.
"We can talk about this more later on" I said as I pulled away.
"Yeah" he agreed as we cuddled together in bed.
"Anyway-" I said as I pressed a kiss against his bare chest.
"Yes Mal?" he questioned as he started to run his fingers through my hair.
"How was your day?" I questioned as I looked up at him.
"Well-" he stated. Me and Ben then went onto have a long conversation how our days had been; but as we fell asleep in each other's arms my mind wondered whether my plan could actually work.