CH.7 The Cheese King

Pam Macy.

Jackie loathed the day she first had contact with her. It was her first year in public school- the 6th grade. So far she was unimpressed with anyone, especially her then-boyfriend's friends. And other then not wearing a uniform, she thought the whole concept of a public school was stupid. Obviously there had to be a distinction between the children of the elite and the children of whoever else. And as far as she was concerned back then, only the children of the rich, wealthy and beautiful should be given the option of school. The 'whoever' kids should be sent away or put into work since none of them were interested in learning anyway. Take her then-boyfriend. She thought it would be nice sitting with him at lunch, to see how the 'other half' lived and observe their 'public school' intelligence. But he just cracked bad jokes, made arm-pit farts and chewed with his mouth open. Not to mention his elbows were on the table the entire time! And every time she corrected Michael, he would roll his eyes and to the delight of the other members of the group, tell her, "Okay, mom. I get it. I'll be home by five!"

And he wasn't the worst one either. He introduced her to some redheaded delinquent she would later know as Donna Pinciotti. But at the time she didn't care too much about her and did her best to avoid her at all costs. But Michael insisted she meet her, explaining with his logic, "She's a girl and you're a girl! You two have a lot in common like the fact yer both girls! And if those French movies are to be believed, after one slumber party you two will be braiding each other's hair and giggling as you play footsie and other Frenchie stuff!"

She was eleven, had been in private school her whole life up to that point, and was very naïve. She didn't catch what he was suggesting. She assumed he had the best motives and 'footsie' was like soccer or something.

And when they were finally introduced, she threatened to kill him. She still remembered angrily shouting at him the following day, "What the hell is wrong with you, Michael?! How could you think I could be friends with that beast! She throws dodge balls at poor, unsuspecting people for no reason other than her sick enjoyment! And you know what else, Michael?! I asked around, and footsie is not soccer! To think, you almost had that redheaded thing kicking me around all over Wisconsin!" And when he suggested meeting Hyde, she threw several objects at him- including an ottoman. She had seen the scruffy, curly-haired boy and was damned to hell if she would know a poor person like that.

She was so upset with him, she refused to speak to him for 'forever and ever!' But, as it turned out, because she was the new kid she had a harder time adjusting than she originally thought. Everywhere she went on campus, people would refer to her as 'snooty' and 'snobbish' and 'bitchy'. She was so lonely, but refused to seek Michael and his band of arm-pit farting morons for guidance and acceptance. She was too proud for that.

And Pam Macy knew it.

Little did Jackie know, Pam was having a tough time on her own. Apparently the other popular girls like Leslie Canon, Kat Peterson and Stacey Wannamaker were rejecting her, calling her "the stupidest thing since the pet rock" and was rapidly becoming the laughing stock of the whole school. But since Jackie was new, she didn't know it. And Pam thought that the best way to prove she wasn't as dumb as everyone else thought, was by proving someone else was even more dumb. And that person was Jackie Burkhart.

Pam noticed how Jackie always sat by herself at lunch and how others turned away when she tried talking to them. And she did the simplest thing to earn a tiny, black haired girl's trust- she talked with her. Soon they were the best of friends (at least Jackie thought), and Kelso's friends had even more cause to be disgusted with the uptight princess.

But Jackie didn't care, she thought she had a friend. Until the day Pam set her up. It was the middle of November and everyone was getting ready for Thanksgiving. Jackie would never admit it to anyone now, but back then she was actually thankful for having such a good friend as Pam and even went so far as to buy her a gift- hot rollers. It was a Tuesday, a very unusually hot Tuesday when Pam Macy came from Cheerleading Practice. This had impressed Jackie even more, so much so that she was desperate to be a cheerleader herself when she'd be a 7th grader- just like Pam. And Jackie, the obedient friend, ran up to her as usual, begging to know the details of pom-pom waterfalls and the new cheers. And Pam obliged her as much as she could, unwilling to admit to the 6th grader that she was only a towel girl because of her bad balance.

So lying, as usual, Pam told her what the other girls did and Jackie was mesmerized. And Pam would usually wrap up their tiny talks with, "And I guess that's that." But this time she eyed Jackie, asking so innocently, "Say, Jackie-cakes?" And Jackie's ears would perk up at the sound of Pam's 'little sister nickname' for her.

"Let me guess, Pam! You want to practice some cheers over at my place?! Or, or do you want my maids to wash your cheerleading outfit?! Or do you want to sit outside the HUB and make fun of roller skaters again?!"

Pam only smirked, knowing she had Jackie in her sights, "Oh Jackie-cakes, you roller skate."

And Jackie shrugged, eagerly telling Pam, "I know, but I don't mind you making fun of roller skaters. Because we're best friends and I know you don't mean it!"

But Pam only smiled, "Anyway, we're friends, right?"

"Right!"

"And we share and share alike, right?"

"Yup!"

"I need to borrow Five Hundred bucks."

Jackie's face fell slightly, "Five Hundred!? What for?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, uh, no. No, I guess not, but it's just that daddy has always warned me about lending money to friends and-"

Pam made her feel with guilty with a simple, "Then I guess we're not friends, huh? Since you won't loan me the money, I guess you don't trust me."

"I trust you!" Jackie insisted, "But it's just-"

"Good." Pam cut off, "I need the money by Friday, got it kid?"

Jackie loaned her the money on Wednesday. And though she was still skeptical, she figured if Disney Princesses believed in the power of love, friendship and trust, so should she. And a week went by, and then another, and soon another. Jackie was beginning to get bent out of shape on the count of Pam Macy frequently 'forgetting' to pay her back. And her father wasn't very happy with her, what with her loaning Pam the money from her weekly allowance. And then one day, Jackie insisted that she pay back the money, so Pam agreed.

"Alright! Alright, you can have you're stinkin' money, you baby!"

Jackie was hurt by the statement, but asked, "When are you going to pay me back, tomorrow?"

Pam's lips curved happily, "Today I'll pay you back." She then wrapped her arm around Jackie's shoulders, "Remember the 'Donation Box' in Mrs. Hadley's class?"

Jackie thought she knew the one, "Yes. The big red one for Children with leukemia?"

Pam shook her head, "It's the big red one alright, but it's not for those leukemia kids. It's actually a school bank account."

Jackie thought she was kidding, "No way! School's don't have bank accounts!"

But Pam was ever so persistent, "Maybe Private Schools don't, but public schools do. See, all you have to do is take out five hundred bucks from it, and leave a note inside letting Miss Hadley know you withdrew that amount."

Jackie was unsure about this, but Pam asked her once more, "Don't you trust me, Jackie-cakes?"

And Jackie hesitated for a brief moment before reconfirming her loyalty to Pam, "I trust you, Pam. You're like a big sister who looks out for me, especially when everyone in this crummy school turned their back on me. I know you're telling the truth. I trust you."

And she full-heartedly did.

She figured she never heard of the bank account because the other kids didn't talk to her much. She didn't think she was doing anything wrong and 'withdrew' five hundred dollars from 'the account'. She left a note, telling Miss Hadley what she had done and went home as usual. But the following day, when she walked into her first period, all the kids were staring at her as if she was a rotten rat while Miss Hadley stared at her with piercing blue eyes. She never thought one woman could radiate so much anger.

Without explanation she ordered her to the front of the class. She remembered how the 7th graders, particularly Pam Macy, giggled in delight. Then, Miss Hadley asked if she took five hundred dollars from the big red box.

She admitted that she did.

She was then asked if she left a note, stating that she took the money.

She said she did.

And when Miss Hadley coldly asked her why, she responded honestly, "I was owed the money."

The class busted out laughing, with Sherry Papadakis shouting in hysterics, "The little rich girl was owed money by the leukemia kids?! Whatta snob!" And while everyone in the room agreed, Jackie could feel her stomach flip a few cartwheels.

Jackie shook her head in horror, "It's not a donation box for them! It's a bank account!"

Miss Hadley snapped, marching from the back of the room to the front, only to slap Jackie's trembling hands, barking, "Not for your grubby, little fingers!"

Jackie's lips trembled as her eyes searched for Pam for help, "Tell them, Pam! Tell them!"

Miss Hadley looked over at Pam over her horn-rimmed glasses, "Tell us what, Miss Macy?"

And Pam seized the opportunity to announce, "That she's stupid!"

And all the class whooped and hollered in glee. The only people who seemed to be un-amused were the redheaded 'beast' and her skinny neighbor friend. Jackie thought this was humiliating enough, but Miss Hadley had to take it a step further, announcing that she was a 'little thief' with 'no emotion other than insatiable greed' who 'must be punished severely for her awful, little soul'. And she forced Jackie to bend over the teacher's desk, with the whole class watching as she paddled her. The whole class took immense pleasure in this, and Jackie couldn't bare it any longer as she burst into tears while Miss Hadley paddled her.

But it wasn't the "spanking" that hurt her, though her entire life no one had ever laid a violent finger on her (so she wasn't used to it), but it was Pam. It was the betrayal of a close friendship whose only purpose was to make her out to look like an idiot. Her watery eyes closed, shut tight.

She hated public school.

It was cruel and barbaric. And it was more than her eleven year old self could take.

! #

12 Years Later:

Since it opened in 1969 the local mall in Point Place had played the same little song on a continuous loop. It played it once an hour of every day.

It played it in Christmas.

It played it in Halloween.

It even played it two hours before the stores opened and an hour after it closed.

What was this song?

Frank Sinatra's It Had To Be You.

So, Jackie and Pam Macy were in a deadlock standoff so intense it mirrored the final gunfight in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Both girls were staring at one another, intense hatred gleaming in their eyes. The amount of disgust and discord they had for one another was intolerable. Both of their knuckles were itching to plow straight into the other.

It was one of those itches that was everywhere in the body and soul, so it was virtually impossible to scratch. Well, almost. It could be scratched only one way- a fight. A good fight, ending with a well-deserved victory.

Her eyes were on Pam Macy alone, unblinking and silent. Her breaths were unusually calm, as if expecting chaos and craziness all at the same time. And while these two otherwise 'beautiful' girls were in a deadlock, the background music chimed:

It had to be you, it had to be you
I've wandered around, finally found somebody who
Could make me be true
Could make me be blue
And, even be glad just to be sad thinkin' of you…

Colette slowly walked up behind Jackie, kindly informing her, "You do know the mall has security guards now, right?"

"Good." Jackie mumbled, "She'll need them to stop me from scratching out her eyes."

Pam's eyes darted between Jackie and a broom that was on the other side of the counter.

So did Jackie's, and that's what Pam needed. The split second it took for Jackie to leer over at the broom, Pam Macy had already tackled her, screaming at her, "You always fell for distractions!"

Pam was on top of Jackie, one hand pulling on her dark hair, the other strangling her throat. She then remarked, "Just wasn't fair Jackie-cakes! You got all the breaks! I liked Michael! I thought Hyde was cute despite of all the crap he did to me- but you? You never cared. Why don't you face facts?"

Jackie had been trying to use both hands to pry Pam's off her throat- but it wasn't working. So using the side of her right hand, she karate chopped Pam's throat while the older girl was in mid-sentence, "You'll never have a good rela-kaugh"

Pam's hands immediately flew to her throat while Colette grabbed Pam's shoulders and attempted to pull her off Jackie. Colette tried to reason with Pam, "Look lady, this is stupid-"

Pam narrowed her eyes at Colette, slapping her face and spewing, "I! Am! NOT! Stupid!" Pam then rose to her feet, slapping Colette's arm, "This has nothing to do with you, this is between me and the mosquito!"

She turned around, screaming at Jackie, "I'm smart! I can prove it! I set you up, didn't I?! I stole Michael away! All those boys in school liked me, right?! So stop calling me if I'm stupid!"

Jackie snapped, rubbing her neck, "If people think you're a ditz, it's your own fault!"

"No, it's not!" Pam croaked, turning away from Colette and Jackie and cradling her head on the counter, "It's not my fault." She then bitterly mumbled, "I don't want to be known as a stupid slut."

For a second, Jackie felt a pang of pity for her former friend and took a step toward her, "Pam-"

And then they heard clapping.

All three girls looked toward the backdoor of the tiny shop. In that direction they heard soft suede shoes stepped toward them. Both Jackie and Pam stopped as they looked up, to feast their eyes on a short, skinny young blond man with a full beard. He wore a red suit along with a red crown, scepter and a thick cape draped around his shoulders.

Pam snapped back to her old self instantly, rolling her eyes, "My boss…"

He spoke happily, as if in a daze, "Jackie! My love! You have returned to be by my side and rule here, at this tiny pavilion in the mall, as my Cheese Queen!"

Jackie almost keeled over with sarcasm, "O-oh, please. How corny is this."

Colette smirked, "You mean, How 'cheesy' is this?"

The man ran up to Jackie, taking her hand in his as he practically sang, "How I've missed you!"

Jackie sighed, nodding slowly, "Just as I remember you Todd. A weird beard- check. Doesn't layer the Romeo act too thick- check. And above all else-" She eyed his cape with a certain fear as if she thought it would jump up and bite her, "-dressed to impress."

Todd beamed, "You like the cape? I'm like a superhero now. Your hero if you wish, Jackie. I can take you over my shoulder and fly you across the universe!"

Colette examined the cape up close, announcing, "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's The Cheese Man! Making life better one cheese stick at a time."

Todd pointed at Colette, "Who's this?" He then asked her, offended by her presence, "I don't remember you."

Colette shrugged, "I'm Little Jack-" She caught herself and quickly corrected, "Colette. I'm Colette." She then pointed at his wardrobe, "Is this the standard uniform for you guys?"

Todd laughed, "Of course not! But, I am, after all, Lord of the Cheese. King of the Colby! Champion of the Cheddar! Master of the Mozzarella! I am the Duke of the Dairy and all that which is Sausage!"

Colette turned to Jackie promptly, "Nevermind. I don't wanna work here."

Pam nodded, "Smart kid." She then told Jackie flatly, "Unlike the individual she was named after."

The brief empathy she felt for Pam was gone in an instant, and Jackie found herself impatiently asking Todd, "Do you still have the carving knife?" She then looked over her shoulder at Pam Macy, "I'm itching to use it right now."

With a twist of his wrist, Todd laughed, "Nonsense! The equipment is for employees only!"

Pam smirked, "Good."

Todd then eyes Jackie lovingly, "Would you care to take a position back at your old haunt, my little cheese cube? I can arrange it very easily…" He then pointed at Pam, "You're fired." He then smiled back at Jackie, "I see a position has recently opened."

Pam made a face, "You just fired me? For nothing! I was supposed to quit! No! Know what?!" She threw her apron on the floor before flipping Todd the finger, snarling, "Screw you, Cheese Puff! I QUIT!"

Pam then stormed off.

Todd quickly picked up the apron and handed it to Jackie, urging her, "Take it. Take it and fulfill your destiny!"

Jackie stomped her foot, hissing, "Todd, stop groveling!" With her eyes, Jackie's gestured toward Colette, "Especially in front of Little Jackie. She is so young and impressionable. Without me she is a fawn in this cruel world!"

Colette sarcastically agreed, "Yeah, Point Place is a regular asphalt jungle."

Todd's shoulders slumped forward as he pleaded for Jackie, ignoring Colette, "I just don't understand it. You choose men that have nothing to offer you. Like Kelso! What did that screw-head ever have?"

Jackie answered promptly, "He's nice-looking, has a hot body and this child-like manner which I simply adore."

She was right. But he was still eager to prove his point, "And what about that stoner? Hyde? What did he have?"

Jackie smiled, thinking back, "An impressive rap sheet, a bad-boy persona that was so hot, and the deepest blue eyes I've ever had the pleasure to lose myself in. And of course there are other things, but a lady does not talk about that in front of company."

Todd countered, growing desperate, "I head you went out with Fez!"

Jackie nodded, agreeing, "I did. I was looking for love and Fez was right there. If I ever needed a shoulder to cry on, all I had to do was open up my closet door and ask him to hear me out."

Jackie seemed oblivious to Todd and Colette's faces at this sentence as she continued, "But he was a good kiss-ass. I mean, complimented me when I looked my worse. And he always patiently listened to me, never interrupted me. And we could shop together at the mall by day and go to Disco clubs by night. He helped me pick out my wardrobe for the day and we enjoyed the same shows. It was a very comfortable," Jackie thought for a second before shrugging, "It was a comfortable arrangement."

Colette then asked Todd, "So King Cheese, how exactly do you get the wax on the cheese? And does it have to be red? 'Cause personally I think blue wax would also look pretty neat."

Todd pushed past Colette to take Jackie's hands in his, telling her, "Forget about those losers and be with me!"

Jackie cautiously retracted his hand, "Todd- you are wearing a cape."

Colette continued, "Blue wax would bring a whole new meaning to blue cheese."

Todd unhitched his cape and took of his crown, placing everything on the counter. As he folded his cape, he shook his head, "It's just not fair. I work. I pay my rent. I have a fantastic beard. And yet, love alludes me." He emotionally turned to Jackie, "Why?! What's wrong with me?!"

Jackie told him gently, "Don't be sad. It's tough for slightly awkward little men like yourself to find love."

Todd griped, challenging her theory, "Really? Then how is it that an unemployed, skinny, twitchy, Star Wars nerd with the olive green station wagon, who lived at home with his mommy, and who actually owned a set of dolls and had make-up covered zits, got a girlfriend over me?"

Jackie explained, "See, Donna has a thing for the underdog. And it's tough to get any lower than Eric. I mean, the boy thought turtlenecks were cool. Even after I explained that they were out of season, he still insisted on wearing them!"

Todd sat down on the counter, upset. Jackie started to feel a little guilty and went over to him, "Todd, don't feel bad. And you should probably get off the counter. People eat there."

He then reached behind the counter to pull out a guitar.

"Oh." Colette asked Jackie, "Is-is he gonna sing?"

Todd then started to both sing and cry at the same time, strumming the guitar,

"When I was young,

I never needed anyone,"

Jackie shook her head, "Todd, Todd don't do this."

He painfully continued, "Making love was just for fun."

Jackie tried to touch his reassuringly shoulder, but he just whaled out, "THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!"

Both girls jumped before Colette turned on Jackie, "Look what you did to him!"

Jackie lost it, angrily telling Colette, "Me?! You're the one that wanted to be a mature adult and get a stupid job here!"

Todd sobbed, "All by mysellllllff,

Don't bwanna'll be all by myself,

Any-Any-Anymore…"

Todd then broke down, sobbing into his thin hands.

Colette pointed at the grown man crying, "Do something!"

Jackie was obviously nervous about the whole thing. What made it worse was when Todd looked up at her, asking, "How could this happen? I bet even that Erin guy is having a better life than me…"

Colette corrected, "Eric." While Jackie shook her head, trying to make him feel better, "No! No I bet Erin's off somewhere, lost in the jungles of Africa, having a worse time than you! Maybe he's being chased by lions, or is some kind of sacrifice to the Gods! See, we don't know!"

Jackie shot Colette a look that screamed, 'help me out here!'

Colette nodded, "Uh, yeah. Africa's scary. Like, it's on the side of the earth, close to, uh, the Bermuda Triangle."

Todd started to wring his collar, sniffling, "He always was so lucky with women."

Jackie made a face, "How was he lucky with women? His entire life and he only spoke frequently to three girls! They were his mother, sister and Donna! And the only reason Donna looked at him twice was because she lived right next door to him!"

Todd's eyes cleared as he explained, "Yeah, but there was a lot of dames that bought his whole 'innocent and gentle' act. Like Chloe, the Slurpee girl!"

Colette repeated, "The Slurpee girl? What a bad nickname."

Jackie then crossed her arms across her chest, "Again with this? Who the hell is Chloe the Slurpee girl? This is the second time I've heard of her and I have no idea who this person is!"

Todd then went on, "And not just her, but Fat Sally once said Eric made a move on her."

Jackie couldn't believe it, "Why would Eric make a move on Fat Sally if he was with Donna?"

Todd explained, "According to her, she was at the library and he was there too. He was checking out a few comics and she was looking at the magazine section for the latest Cosmo. And then, at the same time, they both reached for a Captain America comic. Their hands brushed for a moment!"

Colette sarcastically replied, "Sounds serious."

Todd nodded, "I think it was. And when he and Donna broke up, he went out with Emily Marlow. She said that they went out on a couple of hot and heavy dates."

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Don't tell me- their hands touched in the lunch line!"

Todd waved a finger at them, "I'm telling you! That twitchy, silver tongued Casanova isn't fooling me! With buddies and pals like Michael Kelso and Hyde, it isn't too hard to guess what kind of a person he truly is beneath that next-door neighbor act!"

Todd's Story:

Eric was at a teaching workshop, trying to hone in his skills while Donna was at their apartment, cleaning everything up for when her boyfriend's parents would be there later that day. She didn't really care about cleaning things up, and felt that everything looked fine the way it was, but Eric was ever so insistent.

"My mother would never forgive me if she walked in here to an un-vacuumed room!"

To which she stated, "Hey professor, 'un-vacuumed' isn't a word."

But he dismissed her with a wave of his hand and flew over to the kitchen, screeching, "And what is this, hm, Miss Pinciotti?"

She just shrugged, stating the obvious, "Dishes."

Eric rolled his eyes, fixing his tie as he nodded repeatedly, "I know that- but they're not even washed!"

Angrily she sat down by their kitchen table, "And why the hell couldn't you do it yesterday?! You got home around five! I, on the other hand, was busy working up until nine last night and came home around ten. What's your excuse?"

Eric fidgeted slightly, now heading over to the living room to grab his brown jacket, "Well, uh, I-"

Donna got up and followed him, her feet clapping against the tile, "Don't 'well, uh, I' me. You just came home and went straight to the fridge and parked yer little ass in front of the TV to watch Cheers."

Eric tried to deny it, "No! I was watching re-runs of Taxi!"

"You don't even like Taxi! You think Judd Hirsh and Tony Danza are show-offs and you're scared of Danny DeVito."

Eric then smirked, "I was watching Marilu Henner."

Donna had to roll her eyes, "Why would you watch her? She has absolutely no valu-"

Eric shrugged, "I have a thing for redheads."

Donna tried to withhold her smirk as she gently pushed his head, "You dink, I better be the only redhead you have a thing for, got it?"

Eric saluted her, standing at attention, "Yes, ma'am!"

He then reached over and kissed her cheek, "I'll stop ogling the small people on TV." And she softened a bit, shrugging, "And I guess I can clean up the house a bit for when yer folks come over."

He quickly kissed her cheek and rushed out the door before she could change her mind, saying, "This is Eric Forman, signing off for just a moment!"

As soon as he was gone, she groaned. She really didn't feel like sprucing up the apartments, but if it was important to Eric, then she figured it should be important to her.

She started with the dishes, listening to her old station: WFPP The Sound. She heard the voices of fellow colleagues she admired such as Jerry Thunder, Evelyn Vance the Man Eater, Billy Bob Billings, and Uncle Jack Tuesday. But the program that was on at the current moment was not really one of her favorite segments. It was Mary Broken Hart.

And even though Mary was a really nice, older woman, she had such a jaded outlook on love that it kind of unsettled Donna at times. Take her show for instance, it was all about sobbing people who were calling in saying that their loved ones cheated on them. And at the "conclusion" of each show, Mary would sign off with her main speech, "Love is an idea, not a reality. And when you fall for an idea you lose touch with reality and what is going on around you. Your loved one betrays your trust and you are left, holding the remains of your ego. Face it folks, live in the real world and get your heads out of the clouds." And then she'd sign off with her catchphrase, "This is Mary Broken Hart, and may all the cheaters be damned and the cheated learn from this lesson."

She never liked the end. It always sounded as if Mary condemned Love itself as a fraud. But Donna knew better. She loved Eric and Eric loved her. There was no betrayal of trust or any cheating of any kind. They were together and that was all that mattered.

Over the radio: (A Woman is sobbing): And then I asked Harry why he had to go to all these business meetings in the middle of the night for no reason and-and-and he said it was none of my business! He y-yelled at me! Told me to go back into the kitchen and wash the dishes!

Donna dried her hands with a paper towel was fixing to switch the station when the she heard the phone ring. She picked it up, but as soon as she said, "Hello", the phone went dead.

'Odd' Donna thought, slowly placing the phone back on the receiver. She then went over to the small pantry and took out a broom to sweep the floor. By then there was another caller.

Hello? Is this the Mary Broken Hart show?

And then there was Mary's clear voice: It is, and welcome to the show. So tell us, what would you like to be known as, child?

The caller was quiet before replying: Moron in Madison

Donna stopped sweeping for a split second, amazed that this particular was calling from her backyard.

Mary kindly told her: Now that's a bit harsh, don't you think? After all, you are just another run of the mill girl who was taken advantage of. You are not the moron in that relationship.

The caller sighed: That's where you're wrong Miss Broken Hart. See, I thought I met this great guy. We met in Jr. High. He was sweet and sensitive, and all the things I thought I ever wanted. And our relationship started off slow, with us being friends. But by Junior year it was apparent that it was more than friendship. There was something truly special about us.

Without realizing it, Donna had sat down at her kitchen table, listening to the small radio and uneasily comparing this callers relationship with her own.

My special guy took me to Prom, to the movies, to these real nice places. He made me feel as if I was the only one that ever mattered to him. And right after High School we got married. We moved into a small apartment and life was bliss. Until….until one day…

Donna realized she was focused on the program and snapped out of it. She chuckled at herself for being so wrapped up in something that wasn't even close to what her and Eric had. She then quickly walked over to the closet to pull out the vacuum cleaner.

What happened?

I got a rude awakening and realized I never knew him at all. And it started off slow. I would find certain things around the apartment that I didn't recognize.

Donna was about to switch on the vacuum when she noticed something on the beige carpet. It was small and sparkling, something she had never seen before. She squinted her eyes before picking it up.

It was an earring. It was a small silver little thing with tiny gold diamonds. But what made her uneasy was that it wasn't hers. She only owned two sets of earrings, and both were studs.

Feminine things I knew weren't mine.

Donna slowly set the earring on the tiny coffee table, telling herself that maybe a guest they had dropped it. The only problem was they had no guests over except Mr. and Mrs. Forman and she was positive Mrs. Forman wouldn't wear something so loud.

At first I tried to tell myself that my guy wouldn't cheat on me. He wouldn't do anything like that. He was different.

Donna felt a creeping panic settling inside her, slithering up her spine. Almost instinctively she darted toward her and Eric's tiny bedroom, searching for her little wooden jewelry box that Jackie gave her one Christmas.

She couldn't find it anywhere. Since she didn't wear jewelry too frequently she kept very loose tabs on that box, and at this very moment she was couldn't have been more annoyed with herself.

It wasn't on the nightstand or under the bed or in the dresser-

She flew to the closet, searching for that little box. Maybe she had gotten a pair of earrings like that and just forgot. And maybe the other half of the pair was resting in her jewelry box!

As she was tossing random articles of clothing out of the closet, she stopped when she felt something she didn't recognize.

It was a man's leather jacket.

He had been dressing differently, acting strangely, but I had chosen not to pay any attention to it.

Donna dropped the jacket, telling herself it was Kelso's "Fonzie" jacket. But she knew it wasn't. Kelso had ripped it in half by accident when he was fighting over it with Hyde. This one was new, and just Eric's size.

And then she started laughing. This was so ridiculous! Eric wasn't the type to wear leather jackets and paint the town red! She had to hold his hand at supermarkets because he was scared of getting separated from her.

But I guess the worst part was the phone calls. People would call my place, and when I answered, they would just hang up.

Donna froze.

She was eerily reminded of the phone call from earlier.

She then ran into the living room area, picking up the phone and calling the school Eric worked for. She needed to know the name of the workshop he was attending and just hear his voice. It would calm her down so much.

But the number she dialed was disconnected. She tried again and again, but according to the machine there was no such number.

She then sat back on their small sofa nervously.

Where did he go?

And then the caller's voice floated into her ears: But the worst part was the waiting. I would sit on the couch, waiting for him to come home. I didn't know where he was and emotionally speaking, I didn't know where I was either.

End of Todd's story.

Todd nodded, "That's the type of man he is. Run amok, I say!"

Jackie thought out loud, "Eric as James Dean, huh? That's a thought. Not plausible, but a thought. See, he was more a Shirley Temple type."

Colette was silent, mulling over thoughts in her head before asking, "Eric would never, y'know, cheat on her, right?"

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Eric couldn't even cheat on an open book quiz!"

Todd shook his head, his index finger deliberately stroking Jackie's shoulder, "Eric wasn't mature. And like cheese, a man needs time to mature and be ripe for the munching on of a lovely lady. Luckily," Jackie made a face, looking over her shoulder to see his twinkling eyes staring at her, "I'm mature enough now."

Jackie slowly pulled away, starting to get creeped out, "Yeeahhhh…look Todd, it was nice and all, but Little Jackie and I have places to go, people to see and things to do."

She then grabbed Colette's arm, murmuring, "Let's get out of here before he tries to talk me into a sale on Baby Swiss."

Todd snapped back into action, chasing after Jackie. He ran up to her, complaining, "I can't run this place by myself! Jackie, Jackie! Jackie, wait!"

But the girls were already on their way out. Even though they had left the store, Todd couldn't run after them. He knew that he wasn't allowed to leave the premises without an employee present, and at this moment, he was the only employee.

He stayed back, an invisible shield of duties preventing him from stepping one foot into the rest of the mall.

He called out like a wounded animal, "JACKIE!"

But it was too late. The girls had already rounded the corner to exit the mall.

Todd sadly let down his arms, sighing, "She was so close…"

He then slugged over to the counter. He grabbed a sign from behind it that read 'Help Wanted' and made his way over to the front of the store. Just as he was putting it up, a bald, tall man came over to him.

Todd blandly remarked, "Welcome to The Cheese Palace. How may I help you?"

The man gestured at the sign, "Hi. I kinda need a job. I got fired from my last one 'cause my dog got ran over by my car. I mean, a car. Not mine. I'm a good dog owner."

Todd just shrugged, too depressed to ask anything other than, "What's your name and then you're hired."

The man let out a big smile, offering his hand for Todd to shake, "I'm Earl Shamus Arthur and on behalf of me and my dog, I thank you for the opportunity to work-"

Todd waved him off, still thinking about his lost opportunity with Jackie, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Disclaimer: I do not own That '70s Show