CH.11 Fenton

Jackie pulled the blue Mustang up to the small parking lot of Fez's apartment building. As her and Kelso solemnly got out of the vehicle, Kelso chanced a glance at her, saying, "C'mon Jackie, cheer up! We're gonna go see Fez!" He sounded as though seeing Fez was a real treat.

She let out a light smirk, barely shrugging.

Kelso then jumped in front of her, waving his arms around, "Jackie! C'mon, smile! You look like that time when you thought overalls were gonna make a comeback!"

She muttered under breath, "No, but legwarmers are."

"Huh?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Nothing...I'm fine Michael, honestly."

"Honestly, you're lying."

A look of surprise shot on her face as she told him, "Lying?!"

He tried to explain quickly, "Jackie, you're not fine! Well, physically you're fine, but in the emotionally yer not!" He looked her up and down with that dog look of his, grinning, "Yeah, you are fine." He snapped out of it when she swatted his arm.

He screeched, "Damn Jackie!" while Jackie herself shook her head at him.

They entered the main entrance of the apartments, passing the mailboxes on the wall. Kelso had engulfed himself in a conversation about dogs, telling Jackie about how he once tried to convince Brooke adopt a puppy with him. They were about to take the stairs up to Fez's apartment when they heard a drawling voice behind them, "Aaaaand what do you think you two are doing?"

Slowly, Kelso and Jackie turned around. Behind the manager's front desk was Fenton, just as thin and bald as they remembered, however for some reason he decided to grow out a small handlebar mustache. Kelso couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him, "Hello Capn' Crunch!"

Fenton, with his forefinger and thumb rubbing the end of his mustache, narrowed his eyes at the pair of them, "If you are referring to my stylish new mustache, then I take that as a compliment."

His eyes then darted over to Jackie, his brows furrowing, "Jackie Burkhart! I've heard you were back in town, but I refused to believe it, seeing as how I am the other half of your best friendship bracelet! But, then I suppose giving me a call to let me know you were back is simply too high of an expectation!"

Jackie could hear the faint disappointment in his words, even as he tried to cover it up. She walked over to him, shaking her head, "Fenton, I just got caught up, believe me-"

Haughtily, he nodded vigorously, "Oh, I believe you never even gave me a second thought!"

Kelso muttered under his breath, "I'm surprised she gave you a first thought."

Fenton snapped at him, waving a finger, "I heard that! And you should be nicer to me, especially here! For you see, in the Mellow Yellow Apartments, I am the landlord! That's right!" He stomped his foot, waving his hands as if introducing himself to the Queen of England, "The Landlord!"

Kelso and Jackie exchanged looks while Fenton slinked toward the counter, smirking triumphantly, "Yes, yes, the Lord of the Land."

Kelso opened his mouth to say a smart remark, but Fenton told him quickly, "If I were you, I'd bite my tongue! Perhaps if you were a bit more civilized and courteous toward others, you could stay in a stable relationship."

Both Jackie and Kelso's eyes popped out while Kelso shook his head angrily, "What're you talking about?! I'm in a great relationship!"

Fenton hummed the theme song to Bye Bye Birdie, acting as though he was suddenly interested in a magazine that was behind his counter. Between hums he shrugged casually, "That's not what I've heard."

Kelso's brown eyes widened as he realized what Fenton was talking about, the whole reason he was in Point Place to begin with: His fight with Brooke. She was so angry at him, she threw him out of their rented home. With pounds of pride, he shouted that he didn't need her and if he had to, he'd fight for full custody of Betsy. He had stormed off, taking barely a duffle bag and a gym bag, both of which had unknown contents that he assumed were his clothes. He had been planning to drive all the way to Point Place, until he noticed his tank was running on empty. Then he just stopped at a greyhound station, bought a ticket, and phoned Mrs. Forman to inform her that he was coming home.

But how Fenton came ahold of this information so fast was lost on him. With his cheeks flushed with irritation on that the landlord knew his private business, Kelso blurted, "So one fight- ONE- stupid fight and it's my fault, huh? Huh?! Just, blame the guy in the relationship!"

Fenton rolled up his magazine, his tone sounding both impressed and offended, "Rather presumptuous of you, to assume you're the 'man' in the relationship."

Kelso's face dropped. He hotly retorted, "Is that a crack at me not wearing the pants in the relationship because I get plenty of that from my mother in law!"

Fenton placed the magazine aside, quipping, "Testy, testy…" Before either Kelso or Jackie could speak, Fenton cast his eyes aside from them, a small smile teetering on his lips. As Jackie lightly touched his arm, Kelso narrowed his eyes, "What's so funny?"

Fenton shrugged, clearing his throat as if he was just thinking of something rather amusing, "Oh nothing…" Jackie pulled Kelso's arm, "Michael, let's go see Fez-" At this, Fenton looked up, surprised, "After all you and Fez have been through, you're still going to go see him?"

Kelso nodded, "Fez is my friend! We've been through so much together and if you think I'm gonna stop in town without saying a 'hello' to my little buddy, then you're wrong!"

Fenton seemed touched. His eyes went over to Jackie as he said, "I wished everyone's sentiments were like that!" He then worked his way around the counter, grabbing ahold of Kelso's overgrown shoulders, saying formally, "As much as I loath Fez, he had what any one of us wants!" While Kelso's anger was subsiding away, his head nodding with his typical grin at Fenton's new demeanor, it was Jackie who was now wondering what the hell was going on. Fenton then hugged Kelso, whispering loudly, "My heart goes out to you. I know how much you wanted to raise your daughter with him! He doesn't deserve you. And I hope one day you'll find a man who truly loves and appreciates you."

Jackie's eyes widened, "A what that appreciates who?"

Fenton continued, "A man who appreciates him, why of course!"

Jackie turned to Kelso, not quite being able to fathom went Fenton meant by this. Kelso, on the other hand, still didn't catch on and gushed, "Oh, Fez appreciates me!"

Jackie couldn't help but hold out a hand, "Wait, stop, stop…what're we talking about?"

Fenton placed his hands on his hips, "Why we are speaking of this man's and Fez's failed relationship."

She spit out, "What relationship?"

Kelso cleared his voice, "He means friendship, Jackie."

Jackie shook her head, "I don't think that's what he means!"

Fenton looked over at Kelso as though this was the most obvious thing in the world, "Weren't you and Fez in love?"

Kelso nodded, "Yeah, me and Fez were in…wait, what?" Kelso began shaking his head wildly, "No! No, why would you even think that?!"

"Because you're gay."

Kelso screeched, "I'm not gay!"

Fenton placed his hands across his chest, "Are you sure? Even I've heard about that sexy nurse dream you had about Fez-"

Kelso jumped, "Nu-uh! That was the sexy nurse dream Fez had about me!"

Jackie's eyebrows raised, "Are you talking about that dream that you got freaked out about and went over to talk to me, only for Steven to assume I was cheating on him?"

Kelso shouted over at her, "Jackie, this isn't about you and Hyde; it's about me and Fez!" He then turned toward Fenton, "Why would you even think I'm gay?!"

Fenton told him, "You were so progressive!"

Jackie rolled her eyes, "If by 'progressive' you mean 'slept with anything in a skirt', then yes, he was very progressive."

Fenton waved his hands at Kelso, "Well, you and Fez were two men willing to raise a child together!"

Kelso blurted, "Me and Fez just wanted to move in together 'cause we were buds!"

"That is not what Mr. Forman told me when we all signed the lease!"

Jackie and Kelso's mouths dropped, "RED?!"

Fenton nodded, "Yes! I remember I hated Fez, and was absolutely, under any circumstances, was NOT going to lease him an apartment here at Mello Yellow. But then, Mr. Forman so kindly informed me that Fez would be residing with you and the two of you would be raising a child together! He implied that you two were… progressive. And, I was so touched by such an act, so inspired by you and Fez (though I detest him), I was willing to overlook my disposition to help a young family out… but if I had known the truth, I never would have let you two set foot in this apartment!"

Kelso snapped his fingers, "I knew something was fishy that day! Red kept lookin' at me and Fez from his rearview mirror, laughing!"

Fenton however, seemed oddly relieved, "I let Fez live here out of pity how his life with you turned out, but if there never was a life with you, I shall go and evict his skin-tight jeaned ass out of this apartment!"

"No!" Jackie jumped, "Fenton, please, Fez loves it here! If he loses this place because of what was said today-"

Fenton looked her up and down, "Well you give me one good reason not to kick him out!"

Jackie didn't say a word. Instead, she held up her arm, showing him her half of their Best Friends Forever bracelet. Fenton stared at her for a long second before quickly wiping his right eye. He then showed her his half of the bracelet, nodding, "Alright, I'll keep the foreigner. Heaven knows why, you didn't even give me a call-" Jackie quickly told him, "How about lunch tomorrow? We can go to that new Chinese Restaurant on High Street."

Fenton checked his nails, shrugging, "I don't know…"

She added, "I'll bring vodka."

He perked right up, smiling, "Now we're talking!"

Jackie quickly hugged Fenton, Kelso rolling his eyes in the background, muttering, "Why does Fenton get vodka? If he gets vodka, I should get a six pack of beer!" Jackie pulled back from Fenton, hushing Kelso.

Fenton pulled back, smiling, "Don't quote me on this, but I do so miss having you kids around. All doing whatever it is you do… say," Fenton gave Jackie a quizzical look, "Whatever happened to that young man you were going to marry?"

"Michael?" Jackie tried, pointing at Kelso over her shoulder.

"No, the other one."

"Steven?" She tried again.

"No, no, the other one."

"…uh," she thought very hard, "You don't mean Fez?"

"Oh, of course not!" Fenton cried out, aghast.

Kelso chuckled, "Damn Jackie, how many people were you gonna marry?"

She glared at him quickly, but that glare was soon replaced by a look of shock as Fenton snapped his fingers, "Oh, now I remember! Eric Forman!"

Kelso choked on his own spit, "What?!" Jackie's face fell apart, "Who?" Kelso grinned over at Jackie, "No wonder yer all wrapped up about Donna coming back! She finds out yer gonna marry Eric and she'll snap you in half!"

Jackie sputtered out, "I'm not- I never… I don't like Eric that way!"

"But you liked Fez that way." Kelso muttered, smirking.

"Oh, you shut up!" Jackie barked over to him. His chuckles died down, but his brown eyes were dancing with amusement. She then turned back to Fenton, "How could you even think that I would be with Eric Forman!"

Fenton shrugged, "When I used to work for the mall, I caught you two trying on a tuxedo and a wedding gown. Both of you were standing shoulder to shoulder, grinning from ear to ear…" He looked up with a fantasy-like stare before saying, "I also distinctly remember telling that Eric fellow that he traded up when he turned in that redhead for you."

Jackie, still trying to remain mad even though she was flattered, batted her eyelashes, "Well, as truthful as that last statement was, I was never going to marry Eric. We were just modeling the wardrobe for when he married Donna and when I married Steven."

Fenton asked her, already knowing the answer, "So did you marry Steven?"

"Well, no." Jackie admitted.

"Did Eric marry the redhead?"

"Uh, no…well, maybe. I don't know! I don't think so!" Jackie mumbled, biting her lip.

Fenton threw up his arms, "Then is it any surprise I thought you were with this Eric Forman?!"

"Well, it was a surprise to me!" Jackie countered, looking over her shoulder to see Kelso smiling at the thought of Jackie being in a relationship with Eric. He mouthed to her, "Don't let Donna find out!" He then made a motion of his finger slicing his neck.

Jackie had the urge to throw the coat rack at him. She then turned around to Fenton, "Look, Fenton, Eric is a nice guy, but he's not for me!"

Fenton looked up dreamily, "Pity, I could just imagine you with Eric…"

Kelso bolted toward Fenton, excitedly chanting, "Imagine! Imagine!"

Jackie slapped Kelso's arm, snapping at Fenton, "Don't you dare imagine a damn thing or I'll-"

Fenton's Fantasy:

In a black and white suburb in 1950s USA, in a quant kitchen with a round table that looked suspiciously like the Forman's kitchen, sat a young man in a pressed grey suit. With a pipe in his mouth, reading glasses sitting comfortably on his nose and a newspaper in his hands, sat none other than Eric Forman. By the white, luxurious stovetop was a woman in a pink dress-

The Real World:

"That is stupid!" Jackie squealed, hot in the face. She didn't want to admit it, but deep down she had had the same fantasy but with both Kelso and Hyde.

Kelso nodded, "Yeah! Eric can't have reading glasses! He's only twenty-four!"

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Oh, who cares about that?! I'm talking about the whole scenario!"

Kelso nodded again, telling Fenton, "Oh, I know what Jackie's talkin' about! If everything is black and white, how come Jackie's dress is pink?"

The ex-cheerleader thought she was going to kick Kelso in the head. Then it was Fenton who said, "Good thinking! Now let me think-"

"Oh no you don't!" Jackie snapped, but then Fenton continued.

Fenton's Fantasy- Again:

In a lightly colored version of a suburb in 1950s USA, in a quant, yellow kitchen with a round table, sat a young man in a pressed navy blue suit. With a pipe in his mouth and the morning news held tightly in his hands, sat none other than Eric Forman. By the white, luxurious stovetop was a woman in a pink dress. With a pearl necklace draped around her neck and not a single hair out of place, she stirred the eggs in the frying pan. She told her husband, a pleasant smile on her face, "Dear? Would you prefer blueberry pancakes or regular?"

Eric looked up from the paper, pondering the thought, "Beloved, how about we skip the pancakes for today and just have the eggs and bacon." He then returned to his paper, smiling and saying with a French accent, "mmm, bacon."

Reality:

Jackie pinched Kelso's arm, "Stop helping Fenton!"

Kelso told her, "Well it's what Eric would've said! Besides," He turned to Fenton, "Look man, I know your trying to go for a whole 'perfect' thing, but I think you're story is missing something."

"Yeah," Jackie muttered, "A touch of reality."

Kelso snapped his fingers, "That's it! Hey Fenton, let me point your story in the right direction!"

Fenton looked Kelso up and down before smirking, "Point away!"

Kelso's Version of Fenton's Fantasy:

Back in the kitchen, as Jackie stirred eggs, a crazed lunatic pressed their face against the sliding glass. Jackie looked up, and dropped the spatula. Eric, alarmed, rose to his feet. He darted to the sliding door in time to see Donna, red eyed and angry. She pointed at Jackie, screaming like the Wicked Witch of the West, "I'll get you my pretty!" She then looked over at Eric, "And your little husband too!"

Reality:

Kelso was whooping with laughter, but both Fenton and Jackie seemed unamused. Kelso wiped a tear from his eye, snorting, "Ooo-Ooo! Wait, wait! I got a good one! And then Jackie could be the good witch, and Eric can be Dorothy!" The thought of Eric in pigtails with a blue checkered dress, carrying a picnic basket and wearing red, sparkling shoes was enough to send Kelso off in hysterics.

"And you can be Toto." Jackie retorted bitterly. She never thought it was possible, but Kelso managed to turn a beloved childhood classic and turn it into something she'd rather forget.

Fenton seemed to agree with her. He folded his arms across his chest, "You have ruined both the Wizard of Oz and my story! Now sir, this is how one conducts a true tale!"

Back to Fenton's Fantasy:

In the Forman's Kitchen, in what was implied as "present day", sat twenty-four year old Eric Forman. He was eating cold cereal, and skimming over one of his old Mighty Spectaculas comics. By the stove counter was Jackie, leaning against the counter and reading a new Cosmo she had just bought that morning.

Eric looked at his cold cereal and then to Jackie, who was just standing there, reading. He said slowly, "You know, if you wanted to, you could make something to eat. Like, like eggs or something."

Jackie, without looking up, said, "I don't have to. We're not married. This isn't the '50s. And I don't even like you. So if you want eggs, just make yourself a couple. Stove's right here and I bet your appetite isn't going anywhere."

Eric looked down at his bowl, muttering, "But I don't wanna."

Jackie looked up from her magazine, shutting it, "Well, I don't wanna!"

Miserably looking down, Eric groaned, "I miss Donna! Ever since I came back from Africa, she's been ignoring me!"

Jackie raised an eyebrow, "She's in Madison, in college. She's probably studying."

"Yeah!" Eric wheeled around his seat and walked over to Jackie, explaining, "But she doesn't pick up my calls, she doesn't return my calls, and if I call- she pretends I didn't!"

"Well why don't you just go over there?" Jackie asked him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Eric fidgeted slightly before sighing, "I would but…"

"You're lazy." Jackie concluded flatly. She then returned to her magazine, opening it again. Eric's eyes widened as he denied, "I am not lazy! I'm just scared!"

"Scared of what?" Jackie scoffed, "I know Donna can be a bit intimidating at times, but certainly not enough to scare you!"

Eric yelled, "I'm scared that I'll go there and she'll be with another guy! A big guy! A successful guy! Someone who won't solve their problems by going a million miles away!"

Jackie's expression softened, and she slid her magazine away from her. She faced him, taking in a deep breath, "Look Eric, you've made some mistakes. But, if you're honest with Donna, then everything will work out. It always does with you two."

Eric gloomily sat back down on the kitchen table, snorting, "Yeah, like how everything worked out with you and Hyde? I heard about how you two broke up, about the hotel room in Chicago and the stripper. The whole town knows."

Jackie whipped his chair around so that she could look Eric in the eye when she hissed at him, "Don't you dare bring that up!"

Eric slouched, mumbling, "I told you, not everything works out fine."

Jackie looked down, her face as gravely serious as Eric's. Then he looked up, his eyes unusually dim, "Do you think Donna really is with another guy?"

Turning away from him, Jackie shrugged, "I…I don't know." Even though she didn't see him, she felt his depression. She could imagine him there, slouching on the chair, waiting for the phone to ring and hear his lover's voice. It was something that she herself had been doing for quite some time. But Hyde wasn't going to call her, and Donna wasn't going to call Eric.

She couldn't help but make her way over to the stove, saying with false cheerfulness, "Hey Eric, how about some pancakes? Do you want blueberry or regular?"

Eric smacked his forehead against the counter, sniffing, "Neither. I just want Donna."

"I can't give you Donna." She said, her tone in distress, "But maybe some bacon? Or hash browns? I know I'm not that great of a cook, but I promise that I know how to make hash browns." She looked around the kitchen before pressing her forefinger to her chin, "I'm gonna need potatoes, right? It's been awhile since I've seen my old cook make it."

Eric looked up at the ceiling as if expecting God to come crashing down from the heavens and explain why Donna wasn't returning his calls. He croaked, "I can still remember her perfume…"

"Perfume? I'll tell you what that was- it was pizza. She had a few slices almost every day!" Jackie said sourly.

He sniffed, looking down at his hands, "I remember how she felt in my arms…so warm, and soft."

"You know what those arms need now?" Jackie interrupted, going over to him. She placed a spatula in one and a frying pan in the other. She said triumphantly, "To cook! You'll help me wrestle up the bacon while I make the pancakes! It'll clear your head and everything!"

The spatula and pan slipped out of his hands and he burst into tears. He grabbed Jackie's hips, burying his face in her waist, sobbing, "Donna! Donna…"

At first she was startled, but after a quick second, she began to feel bad for him. She was sure his heartache for Donna was just as bad as hers for Hyde, but Hyde was a second love. The heartache of leaving your first love was one she didn't care to repeat. It was a searing pain of hopelessness and despair to know that what was once so innocent was now over. It was a searing pain, a burning lump in the chest, and it had a way of making you think that the world wasn't going to end tomorrow, because it was ending today.

She softly patted the top of his brown hair, fully understanding his pain too well, "It's okay, Eric. It'll get better eventually, I promise."

He snuffled and sniffed, and looked up at her with glassy eyes, "You…you're sure?"

She nodded gently, wiping his bangs away from his eyes, "Yeah."

He loosened his grip on her, and she knelt down beside him, "It'll be tough, but we can make it through."

"We?" He sniffed. Then he thought of her similar trouble with Hyde and nodded, "Oh, yeah… we." He quickly wiped his eyes and nose with some brown napkins that were on the table, before nodding, "Yeah. Okay."

He looked up at her, giving her a weak smile, "Okay…"

She smiled back and leaned in to what was supposed to be a hug, only for Eric to turn his head slightly and kiss her right on the mou-

Reality:

"STOP!" Jackie shouted, her heart racing. Kelso could've sworn she was sweating. She then said, her voice extremely shrill, "That would never happen in a million years!"

Kelso ignored her and turned to Fenton, "And then what?"

"Michael!" Jackie screeched.

Kelso told her, "Jackie, it was gettin' good!"

"Nothing was getting good! It was all terrible!" She looked back at Fenton, glaring, "With stories like that running around, no wonder Eric nor Donna want to come back home!"

Fenton casually shrugged, looking at his fingernails, apparently bored, "I thought it was pretty spicy."

Kelso agreed, "Yeah, like it sounded like it could've happened!" He motioned for Jackie to agree but all Jackie could do was shout, "I don't like Eric like that!"

Fenton gave her a look, "Oh really, Jackie? Well, if you don't, you should. Everyone suspects that the redhead is cheating on him with the one with curly hair and the aviators."

Jackie narrowed her eyes, almost seething as she vividly recollected Pam Macy's smugness, "What the hell makes you think Donna is with Steven?"

Fenton told her as if he were gossiping, "Well, Dedra Lipton told Francine Hopkins, who got it from overhearing the Thompkins couple, who were at the mall the other day and found out from Pam Macy that Donna could be with Hyde!"

And as if a light clicked on in her head, Jackie felt a strange sensation overtake her. It was a strange sort of calming peace. For the first time since she had her chat with Pam Macy, Jackie honestly feel that Steven wasn't with Donna. She now felt certain the entire thing was a rumor, some crack-pot story that was cooked up, just like the one that Fenton made up right before her and Kelso's eyes. She couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly foolish for believing Pam Macy.

She tilted her head to one side, saying genuinely to Fenton, "Thanks."

He seemed surprised, "For what?"

"For helping me tell the difference between fact and fiction." She then turned to see Kelso, "C'mon Michael, let's go see Fez."

Leaving Fenton to wonder what she was talking about, Jackie pushed Kelso up the stairs to go see their friend. But, all Kelso could do was whine about how he wanted Fenton to finish the story. Down by the front entrance, Fenton looked down at a pencil and pad.

The Story:

He looked up at her, giving her a weak smile, "Okay…"

She smiled back and leaned in to what was supposed to be a hug, only for Eric to turn his head slightly and kiss her right on the mouth.

Surprised, Jackie jumped back. She got after him, "Eric, no!" Wiping her mouth with her sleeve, she shook her head, "That's not what I meant by 'we'!"

Eric scrambled to his feet, his eyes red and his tone pleading, "Jackie, please… I need you! Just for one night! Please, I promise we can say it never happened! I just… I haven't been with anyone in over three years and I'm past the point of no return here!"

"Making you pancakes is one thing, but sleeping with you is another!" Jackie cried out, though a part of her was flattered by the option. But, when he reached out to her, she pushed him back, growing upset, "Eric, you need to settle down!"

He swallowed the lump in his throat, reaching out for her again, "Just one night! Just one… please."

He seemed so utterly desperate. Her lips twisted. She wanted so much to say "no," but the pitiful look he was giving her wouldn't allow it. And then again, she thought, would sleeping with Eric really be so bad? Sighing, she tried to seem upset as she shrugged, "Okay, but just this once."

But it wouldn't be just once, it would be a lifetime.

Reality:

Fenton looked back up from his pad and scribbled down a few more notes, telling himself, "This is good! I could turn this into a best seller! And," he scribbled some more, "I think I'll give them a daughter called Dorothy around chapter eleven."

He was so busy quickly jotting down his thoughts that he didn't notice a blond woman with broad shoulders, wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, peek inside the apartment lobby. When the blond was satisfied that both Jackie and Kelso had gone upstairs, she turned around and headed back into the parking lot. She didn't want to be seen again, since earlier that day a teenage girl did catch her sneaking inside the Forman's garage.

She had passed several cars until stopping in front of a blue mustang. It was Jackie's car. The woman with the blond hair sighed, and stepped toward it. Taking out a straightened hanger to jimmy the lock open, she muttered to herself, "OK, it's time to separate fact from fiction."