CH. 12 Laurie

Jackie and Kelso headed to the third floor, Kelso telling Jackie, "Can you believe that guy? Me? Gay?"

As they trudged over to Fez's apartment door, Jackie narrowed her eyes at Kelso, "And you certainly didn't help! Encouraging that ludicrous story about me with Eric!"

Kelso smiled at that, "It got you mad, right?"

"Very!" Jackie huffed.

This made Kelso's smile broaden, and Jackie responded by swatting his arm. She told him like an adult speaking to a child, "It's not very funny." She then turned to the door, knocking as she said, "Ugh, I wish Fez would open the door already… I have to go to the bathroom."

He smirked, "One or Two?"

"Ew!" She snapped, "Neither! I have to reapply my makeup!"

Kelso leaned against a wall, shrugging, "Girls and their makeup. I don't know how I'm gonna do it with Betsy."

She then thought of something. She reached for her purse, telling Kelso, "You know what? I forgot that when I moved out, I never gave back the key! I bet Fez hasn't even changed the locks so-" She pulled out a tiny golden key, smirking, "Look what I found!" At the exact same moment, Kelso pulled out a similar key, saying, "Oh-Oh! I just remembered!" Both stared at the golden key that the other had before looking at their own. Jackie got after Kelso, "Michael! You never turned in your key?"

Kelso countered, "Well, neither did you!"

Jackie rolled her eyes. She was about to press her key inside the lock when the door creaked open. Jackie thought this was strange, "The door wasn't locked?" Kelso's eyes widened, "Hey, maybe there's a burglar!" She shushed him, secretly hoping he was wrong. The duo cautiously stepped inside, only to drop their guard when they saw a very attractive blond sitting on the couch, reading TV Guide.

"Laurie." Both Kelso and Jackie said simultaneously. The blond looked up, narrowing her green eyes, "Oh, if it isn't half of the Scooby gang."

Kelso beamed at this comparison, "I'm so Fred!"

Jackie nodded, "And I'm obviously Daphne."

Laurie snorted, standing up, "Both of you are obviously a pair of dumbasses. Now, what do you want?" Before they could speak, Laurie zeroed in on Kelso, "Wait a minute- you're not supposed to be here!"

Kelso shrugged, "Why not?"

Laurie said loudly, "'Cause Fez went to go pick you up at the Greyhound over an hour ago!"

Jackie cut in, "Why would Fez-"

"Because my mom couldn't find you!" Laurie snapped at Jackie, "Apparently you and Donna 2 were nowhere to be seen! Mom panicked, didn't want Kettlehead here to show up at the house, stir up old memories of how he set the garage on fire, and for my dad to put his foot up his ass!" Laurie then placed her hands on her hips, "Where is Donna 2?"

"Little Jackie!" Jackie snapped before taking in a breath, "And she's busy."

Laurie snorted, "Busy trying to get away from you, I bet."

"Oh, shut up!" Jackie growled.

At that moment, Fez rushed inside, looking very agitated. He said, "I feel like I have been on a merry-go-round! I searched everywhere for Kelso and I cannot find him an-" He stopped when he saw his friend. Kelso opened his arms, smiling, "Fez!"

Fez brightened up considerably, jumping into Kelso's arms, "Kelso!"

Fez kissed Kelso's ear, saying, "I have missed you so much!"

Kelso laughed, "I missed you too! Having fun is so weird without you!"

As the boys reminisced about old times, Laurie led Jackie to the kitchen. She asked her if she wanted something to drink. Jackie thought about it, and decided a tea would be a good choice. Laurie popped open the fridge, shaking her head, "Um, yeah. Fresh outta tea. Anything else?"

"Um…coffee?"

"Don't got any."

"Juice?"

"Nope."

"Soda?"

"Nu-uh."

"Milk?" Jackie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Laurie shook her head, "Maybe tomorrow."

Jackie asked her, "Well then, what do you have?"

Laurie took out a couple of beer bottles, "Beer." She then pointed at the faucet on kitchen sink, "And water."

Jackie took the bottle Laurie capped open for her. Leaning against the counter, Jackie shook her head, "If your mother knew how you drank-"

Laurie took a sip out of her bottle, "Are you kidding? I learned how to drink from both my parents. In fact, it's a damned miracle I'm not an alcoholic."

Jackie looked over at the refrigerator, ignoring Laurie's comment. "So, do you cook?"

Laurie shook her head, "The only thing in there is a bottle of olives, a brick of cheese and cold cream."

Jackie found herself gulping the bottle, unable to see herself finishing a conversation with Laurie without it. Laurie nodded over to the boys who were play wrestling in the living room, "So, without Donna 2, you and the Big Baboon were alone together, huh?"

Nodding, Jackie shrugged, "Well, yeah."

Laurie eyed her suspiciously, "You didn't do anything stupid, right?"

"Like what?"

"Like kiss him."

Jackie's eyes popped out of her head at the mere thought of it. She slammed her bottle on the counter, hissing, "No! Never!"

Laurie took another sip from her bottle, "Just making sure."

Then they head Kelso telling Fez, "You'll never believe it! Red told Fenton we were gay! That's how come he gave us the apartment!" They also heard Fez sucking in his breath, "Us?! Gay?! How could he think that?! I, Fez, am a masculine specimen! And you, Kelso, are a beautiful masculine specimen!"

They could hear Kelso gush, "Aw, Fez! You're beautiful too!"

Fez looked down bashfully, "But nowhere near as exquisite as you!"

Kelso nodded, grinning from ear to ear, "Yeah, that's true. But you're still a very attractive man!"

Fez playfully swatted his arm, "Oh stop it! You are embarrassing me!"

In the kitchen, Jackie and Laurie stared at them with repulsed faces. Laurie looked over at Jackie, "That whole deal about Fenton… that true? Did he really think they were gay?"

Jackie found herself digging in the refrigerator for another bottle of beer, mumbling, "Yup. All true."

Laurie watched as Kelso and Fez complimented each other's hair. She shook her head, "I don't know what's more sadder. The fact that I bedded both those morons or that I could actually imagine them being a couple."

Jackie, now on her second bottle, leaned on the counter right next to Laurie. She shrugged, "I can relate." Laurie nodded, turning her head to get a better look at Jackie. Like her, Jackie knew what it was like to go out with both Kelso and Fez. With this in mind, Laurie nodded "Yeah, that's right." The clacked their bottles together, Laurie saying, "To having the most peculiar taste in men." Jackie agreed, "Amen." As they drank together, Kelso was showing Fez all the pictures of Betsy he had in his wallet. Fez was upset to find that Kelso kept 22 pictures of Betsy, but only 15 him. He huffed, folding his arms as he told Kelso, "So I supposed I am not so important to you!" Jackie rolled her eyes at this. She knew for a fact that Kelso only kept 2 pictures of her.

Kelso laughed, going on and on about how he missed Fez when he went to the carnival or when him and Brooke took Betsy to the movies. Fez seemed touched, "So you did think of me?"

Kelso told him, "Of course! You're my little buddy!"

"So," Laurie burped, asking Jackie, "What have you been up to today? Searching for a job?"

"No," Jackie conceded, finishing up her second beer, "Been searching for my life. Like, I used to be Jackie Burkhart! I was voted head cheerleader by the largest margin in cheerleading history! I was Snow Queen my Senior Year in High School! It was widely acknowledged that I was the cutest girl in school! And now look at me!" Jackie's shoulders slumped as she continued, the alcohol clearly loosening her tongue, "Today I ran off Little Jackie… I got two tickets…My folks are gone. I'm homeless. I'm broke. I have no job. I have no boyfriend. I have no kids. My life is a mess!"

Regretting that she asked Jackie such a thing, Laurie decided to change the subject. But Jackie continued, more bitter than ever, "Fez has you! Michael has the family he never wanted to begin with but loves now! Steven has Grooves! And what about homely, good-old- fashioned Eric Forman and his forward thinking girlfriend Donna Pinciotti? Well, I'll tell you! They're off living their happy little lives, not even looking back at us!"

Instinctively Laurie wanted to rub the pain in even more, but before she could add that her little brother and his girlfriend may even have a kid or two, Jackie grabbed her bottle and threw it inside the trashcan with so much force that it shattered.

In the living room, Kelso and Fez stopped talking and looked over to the kitchen curiously.

Laurie said, "Okay, okay- calm the hell down!"

Jackie added, finally letting the turmoil of the day out, "You know how stupid I was?! I actually believed in fairytales! I waited for my Prince Charming and got playboys and cheap, emotionless jerks!" She made an impression of Hyde, using her fingers as mock sunglasses, "I'm not ready yet, Jackie! I want to be sure when I get married! Oh, wait! Look! Some Vegas stripper! I don't even know her name but lemme marry her and forget about you, loser!"

Laurie eyed the kitchen knives, afraid Jackie would use them. Jackie smacked her hand on her forehead, perplexed, "Love…it chooses and chooses…but it never chose me." Laurie backed over toward the knives, trying to hide them with her body as Jackie rambled on, "Why wasn't I chosen, huh? Why was Donna, huh? Can someone pleaze answer me that! I mean, Donna didn't even want a boyfriend, and somehow that bitch got the best one!"

Fez and Kelso walked into the kitchen, both ducking low in case Jackie flung something at them. Kelso said calmly, "Jackie… Donna is your best friend."

Jackie laughed bitterly, "Friend? Friend?! What kind of friend ditches the girl who looks up to her for YEARS!"

Fez was shocked, "You looked up to Donna? You mean, because she was tall, right?"

Laurie agreed, "Freakishly tall. I think we all looked up to her."

Jackie sat at the kitchen table, catching her breath as she admitted, "She was supposed to be my best friend… and she just left me. I guess, I guess I knew Eric didn't really care for me but I thought Donna did." She looked down at her hands, mumbling pathetically, "I didn't realize how little I meant to her."

Kelso, Fez and Laurie exchanged looks. It appeared that none of them knew what to say to Jackie. But it was Fez who offered a simple, "Look, we are all hurting from their passing…"

Kelso rolled his eyes, jabbing Fez in the stomach, "Dude, they're not dead!"

Laurie glared at both of them, shoving her way forward, "Look, Jackie, things change-"

Jackie hiccupped, shouting hoarsely, "Well it wasn't supposed to change like this!"

Laurie threw up her arms, "And why the hell not?!"

Before Jackie could bite her tongue, she confessed loudly, "Because me and Donna made a pact!"

Kelso gave her a quizzical look, "Chicks don't make pacts! It's a dude thing!"

Both Jackie and Laurie snapped, "Shut up, Kelso!" Before Laurie asked Jackie, more out of curiosity than concern, "What kind of pact?"

Jackie leaned back in the chair, sniffing, "Um…it's kind of groggy in my mind but, Donna was having issues…like she was having trouble talking with her dad because he did dumb things all the time and her mom had just left. I told her that I would always be there for her. And then, with me, my folks were gone a lot. Like, my dad couldn't be bothered to go to his own daughter's birthday parties and my mom whored around with the guys that showed up! One year- she even did it with a clown! But when he was hauled off to prison and my mom just flew away to Mexico, it was embarrassing more than anything. And then she let me live with her. I asked her why, later on, and she told me that when I told her that I'd be there for her, she decided to do the same for me." She raised her hands, admitting, "Now she didn't want to. She bitched and groaned for forever, but she was always adamant that I stay somewhere I felt safe. And living with her and Bob, and being right next door with the Forman's and Steven…I felt safe there." Bitterly Jackie smirked, "Flash forward to now. My life is in shambles…and she's not here for me." Everyone stared at her as she nodded glumly, "I know, it's stupid."

The boys looked very uncomfortable and out of their element. Laurie however, seemed oddly at ease. The blond woman stared at the younger girl for a moment before sighing, "It's not stupid."

She calmly sat next to Jackie, confessing, "I may have- and don't you dare tell my mom- but I may have been, well, been thinking of my stupid little brother a lot too. Like, I was real rough with him, but he's family, y'know?"

"…Little Jackie has been asking all day about him and Donna."

Laurie tried her best not to roll her eyes as she sighed, "Jackie, that kid barely knew my brother and the neighbor girl."

"She was asking-"

"Maybe you were asking, you just had too much pride to say it was you."

Jackie was stunned. She countered defensively, "Show me proof!"

Laurie smirked sadly, "You called her 'Little Jackie'. Maybe that was your subconscious trying to tell you that a Jackie was asking for her friends, instead of you. But, in reality, you were the one asking. You were projecting yourself onto Donna 2. It's not bad, it's just that you couldn't come to terms with it, you're pride wouldn't let you."

And just like that Jackie suddenly felt very exposed, as if she walked into a crowded train station completely naked. She couldn't help her body as it tensed, or her mouth as it hung lamely on her face. What Laurie had said didn't strike her like a bolt of lightning, it touched her like a whisper in a storm.

Kelso's eyes widened, "Whoa…Laurie, that was freakin' profound!"

Fez smiled down at his girlfriend, "Isn't she something?"

Laurie nodded at both boys, "Yeah, I took a phycology course in college. I got a B-."

Kelso raised an eyebrow, "B- in a college course…nice."

Breathing slowly, Jackie asked cautiously, "Why am I…searching for them?"

Laurie shrugged, "From what I hear, you were more attached to Donna than you cared to admit. Maybe it was because she took you in when you had no home, or that she constantly put up with you saying her shoes were huge-"

Out of habit Jackie cut in, "They were humongous!"

Laurie smirked, continuing, "Maybe it was because she was the only other girl in the group. Hell, maybe it was all those reasons and more."

Again Jackie cut in, "She wanted to be a journalist. I never saw a woman who wanted to go to college for herself and not to attract a man. I guess…well, I would've liked to be like that."

Nodding, Laurie continued, "All the above and then some. So, you looked up to her. And in my opinion, you looked up to her even more when she got involved with my brother. Now, we both know it wasn't him as much as the love they shared. I think you saw that, and you desperately wanted that for yourself. So, using their relationship as a template, you began asking for more out of the current relationship that you had, which was with Kettlehead." Laurie eyes Kelso before continuing, "But when it flopped, you decided that a more mature man was in order. You needed someone who would take love seriously, so you moved onto Hyde. Then that didn't turn out so good. So then you made one final stab, thinking that if Donna could make it with a friend turned boyfriend, so could you."

Fez raised his hand, "Ooo, Ooo, I come in, right?"

Laurie rolled her eyes, "Whatever, sure. But then that fell apart. So, you decided to focus on your career and move far, far away from here and start fresh."

Jackie looked down, actually embarrassed that Laurie assessed her actions quite well. The blond woman nodded, "So you figured if you couldn't be lucky in love like Donna, at least you could have a job like hers. Instead of writing, you turned to photography- deep down you didn't want anyone breaking down that you were channeling a certain redhead, because again- you had you're pride. But then that fell though, and I wouldn't be surprised if it did because it wasn't you. There was no passion for it. I mean Jackie, who the hell were you trying to kid? You would rather be the person who is being photographed than the person doing the photographing!"

The brunette shifted uncomfortably in her seat, still looking down. She wanted to look up and tell Laurie she was wrong, but she just couldn't. As dumb as she felt, Jackie felt a great sense of self suddenly coming together inside her. It was as if her heart was a jigsaw puzzle that she recklessly scattered all over the floor. For years she had been trying to collect the pieces together. She had shoved pieces together that didn't fit, she had lost other pieces, and for the most part only succeeded in creating half collected sections together. But here, at the table, listening to Laurie of all people, she could magically feel the puzzle pieces of her heart finally coming together to make a picture.

Laurie shook her head, "Look Jackie, take it from someone who knows. When you run away from a place, the problems don't stay in the place you ran away from. And you wanna know why? 'Cause they're your problems. You end up taking them with you. So, no matter how far you go, the same problems will always be whispering in the back of yer head. So it's best to grow a pair and face 'em. But, again, because of yer pride, you didn't want to believe you had a problem. You thought if you ignored it, it would disappear. So nothing got fixed." Laurie leaned into Jackie, whispering, "And do you wanna know what I think?"

For the first time, Jackie looked up, mumbling, "What?"

"I think you were happy to get fired. I think you hated that damn job. I think you took the first chance you got to come riding back into town, because deep down you knew you were in denial about something, but you just didn't know what. And subconsciously you wanted to fix it so you could get outta yer rut and back in the game. And you knew that if you had any chance at it, you would have to come home."

What Laurie had laid out to her, it all made sense.

The blond leaned back out, sighing, "But again you couldn't face it head on."

"Let me guess- my pride?"

"Nope. You're fear."

"Fear?"

Laurie nodded, "You were afraid of what you would find. So, you plunged head first into your own past, a happier time in your life. You tried swimming in it, and to an extent, with Donna 2, you even tried recreating it. But Jackie, I think it's time you wake up. You're 23 years old. You're still young. You're still hot, though not as much as me, but still. And you're not that stupid. You have a future. So stop trying to copy Donna's, 'cause frankly, I think her life is actually worse off than yours."

Jackie raised an interested eyebrow, "How so?"

Shrugging, Laurie snickered, "I bet she's living on a houseboat with her dad somewhere in Florida, struggling to pay for college as she works some dead-end job. She's all embarrassed to show her face here, especially since she told everyone she was gonna conquer the world. Meanwhile, little brother is probably still in Africa, hiding, afraid to come home, thinking Donna is here and ready to kick his ass. So they're both trying to avoid each other, and ended up avoiding everyone else in the process."

Jackie hated to admit it, but what Laurie said made sense- yet again. She was about to ask Kelso and Fez their opinion, only to find both boys peering out the window to the parking lot below. Kelso said, "Um, yeahhhhh, there's a problem with that part of the story, Laurie."

"What part?" Laurie snapped, sipping her beer.

Kelso clarified, "The part about Donna."

Fez, his eyes also staring out the window agreed, "Yes."

Laurie was baffled, "How could there be a problem?"

Jackie stood up, making her way to window. She shoved both boys out of the way, only for them and Laurie to all look around her to get a good view of the parking lot.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. Down below, someone was ransacking her powder blue mustang, they're blue jeaned legs kicking out from the driver's side door that was clawed open. Jackie screamed and hit both Kelso and Fez's shoulders before she ran downstairs, "Someone is breaking into my- and you two are just here- staring and- UGH!" Then, the person who broke into Jackie's car tumbled out.

It was a woman, with broad shoulders, an hourglass figure and blond hair.

Both Fez and Kelso turned to a shocked Laurie, "See the problem?"

Laurie sucked in her breath, "It can't be her."

Fez responded, "But it is."

Meanwhile, Jackie rushed past Fenton's front desk, barking as she saw him jotting down some story, "Some watchdog you are!"

He blinked, "Watchdog? Was that an insult?"

Jackie didn't think as she tore into the parking lot, shouting at the woman by her car, "Hey! You! Back away from my car!"

She ran as fast as she could, and then she made eye contact with the woman. The woman stared back at her, expressionless. Jackie felt her knees suddenly buckle as the blood drained from her face. There, not more than a few meters from her, vandalizing her mustang, was none other than-

"Donna?" Jackie gulped.

The line "Hey! You! Back away from my car" was a reference to the Rolling Stone's song, "Get off of my Cloud."