Disclaimer: i do not own any of the characters in this story they are owned by Jay Asher.

Chapter five -

I move away slightly just enough to look at his face properly only to find he is actually being serious.

"What do you mean you listened to my tapes? When did you listen to them?" I question him.

He looks down at the floor and grabs my hand.

"Last night Han, when I told you I was at home. I was walking home and Tony pulled up and offered me a lift and I asked him about the tapes. I told him that I wanted to listen to them, he was a bit apprehensive about me doing so at first but eventually I pursuaded him to let me listen to them. I'm sorry I lied to you".

I feel like I can't breathe. He listened to the tapes, those dreaded tapes, I never wanted him to hear that even though I did want to send them out. I feel like I'm going to be sick, now he knows everything, every last detail in a massive discription.

"Hannah, I'm sorry please say something" clay whispers.

I'm silent for a while just trying to figure out what I'm going to do or say.

"Clay, why, why did you listen to those tapes?" I ask him almost on the verge of tears.

"I had to Han, I needed to know all of it so I could help you, I needed to know because I love you" he answers looking me in the eye.

I can feel my heart swell and the tears fall down my face. I let of a loud sob as i put my hand over my mouth to try and stop the sobs taking over my body. I feel a pull and it's clay he's pulling me towards him, I put my face on his chest and the tears just flow out and leave a wet patch on his shirt. He doesn't seem bothered about my tears soaking his shirt he's more bothered about holding me close to him.

When I eventually stop crying and calm myself down I slowly move myself out of clays chest. He still holds on to me even when I move slightly. I look up at him and he smiles shyly back at me.

"Why didnt you tell me you wanted to listen to them?" I ask him quietly.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you and thought you'd try to stop me but I had to know Hannah, I had to know so I could look after you". He moves me into his lap and puts his arms around me as we look out over the hills. "I did it so i can protect you from all your demons internally and externally, I will keep you safe".

I'm stunned I don't know really what to say to him so I snuggle up to him as much as I can while facing away from him.

"I'm not angry clay, I just didn't want you to hear it all after I told you, especially Bryce's tape". I answer trying to surpress the memory of that night.

"Good because even if you was I'd still be there to protect you" he sighs as he tucks his head into my neck.

We sit there for a while just breathing each other in before we decide to go and get something to eat. We don't go to Rosie's or Monet's for the obvious so we go to this little diner just on the outside of town. It's quiet, pretty and peaceful. I like it here because this is now mine and clays place. I tell him this too and he beams as he agrees.

After we had something to eat we decide to go back home although when I say home I mean back to clays. He cycles us again even with my protests, he says he likes feeling me sitting behind him while he rides. It's cute really. it doesn't take us too long to get back to clays really possibly about half an hour but the ride was nice and peaceful. His mom and dad aren't in which is nice for now as it will just be us but my anxiety starts to begin to show as I get nervous about meeting his parents. He notices by the way I start to tense a little and he pulls me into his arms.

"Don't worry han, they will love you"

I love how he knows why I'm nervous just by looking at me. I nod my head into his chest and he pulls away dragging me up the stairs to his room. He goes to take off his jacket and shoes while I go and sit on his bed taking my shoes and jacket off. By the time he turns around I'm sat on the middle of his bed with my legs crossed and hands in my lap watching him. He smiles and chuckles to himself.

"You've only been here two minutes and your already making yourself comfy" He smirks. "On MY bed too".

"Oh I'm that's case then I'll just" I say as I get up off the bed and walk towards his door.

"Oh no you don't come here" he says before grabbing me, lifting me up, chucking me on the bed and lying next to me where I sit. All I can do is laugh at his silly behaviour, he really is adorable.

I sit there next to clay for a while stroking his hair as his head has moved into my lap. I keep thinking about us and it makes me wonder when clay thinks we are. I think I know the answer but I'd like to hear it from him, so I decide to ask.

"Clay?"

"Umhmm" he mumbles.

"What are we clay, I mean what am I to you now?". It's silly for me to ask really but I need to know. This question seems to wake him up a little and looks up at me.

"We..were together aren't we, I mean I.. I know I haven't asked you but after everything I just thought we were cus we both love each other but I will ask you anyway as I'd like to see that beautiful smile. Hannah Baker wi..will you be my.. my beautiful girlfriend who I will love always and protect forever?". He really does know how to make me smile. Aww my clay he really is my clay. I wipe a tear that has rolled down my cheek so it doesn't land on clay. I hold his face in my hands and look into his beautiful blue eyes and answer him with a smile on my face.

"Yes Clay Jenson I will be your girlfriend". Just to seal it kind of, I kiss him gently and stroke his cheek with my fingers.

"There's my favourite smile" he says as he still looks up at me.

We stay like this for a while just staring at each other, in our own little world where it's just us. We're so distracted that we didn't hear the front door open and close and we only snap out of it when we hear his mother shout from the stairs.

"Clay I'm home".

Clay jumps up and holds out his hands for me and I take them and walk with him down to his mom while my stomach does summersaults.