This is a story I wrote in a completely alternate universe and I wasn't sure that I wanted to post it or not, but I'm going for it anyway. This story is already complete and I'll post a few chapters a day. I'm still working on The Second Year, which is a completely different style of story-telling, and will post new chapters as often as I complete them. I hope you enjoy this long love story between Jamko in another world! Your reviews are welcomed and will be greatly appreciated. Just remember, this story is already complete. There are 25 chapters.
"You can't be serious Syd…come on!" Jamie shouts as he stands in the doorway of their apartment, watching his girlfriend of five years disappear down the hallway. She isn't turning around. She hears him, but she just can't do this anymore.
This is not how her life was supposed to turn out. She did try, but this is her way out. Her window of opportunity has just opened wide and nothing Jamie can say or do will change that.
Jamie Reagan was from Staten Island, New York, where his parents still live in the same house he grew up in. He was the genius of the family. That is what his older siblings would say. He graduated top of his class in high school, and his family had set high standards for him. At least that is how he felt.
All Jamie ever really wanted to do, however, was be a New York City police officer. He wouldn't follow that dream though, he didn't want to let his family down. They would have never had a problem with him being a cop, it did run in the family, and his sister was a lawyer and if he was the brains of the family, he would have to do better. So instead, he applied to Harvard University, where he eventually earned a law degree of his own.
Sydney Davenport came from a prominent family of corporate lawyers in New York City. They had decided her future for her, she never really had a choice. She would go to Harvard, both her parents had made sure of that, and she would become a big shot corporate lawyer in Manhattan, just like they were. They would settle for nothing less. She would not be a disgrace to the family name.
Sydney was in her second year at Harvard Law School when she met Jamie. Sydney and Jamie quickly became a couple and Syd loved that Jamie was hard-focused on becoming a lawyer, just like her. That was someone her parents would approve of. He would fit perfectly in the elite social circle of the Davenports.
Soon after graduation, they both landed impressive jobs in the Manhattan high rises that they had dreamed about for two years, and bought a swank two-bedroom apartment with impeccable views of the New York City skyline, in the upscale Tribeca neighborhood, one that Sydney made sure her parents would approve of. They were living the lap of luxury, attending exclusive dinners and charity galas, and Sydney made sure they became well known in her parent's high society. She was always over the top and had to make grand entrances at all the events. That was her preference.
Jamie liked the charities at first. He was a caring person with a heart of gold, who would do anything for anyone given a chance, but it was about much more than that for Sydney. For her, it was all about politics and climbing the social ladder. It wasn't her fault, it was all she knew. She wanted people to know who she was. She needed to be recognized. She craved it.
Jamie soon began to struggle with this part of their life together, but he loved her so he went along with it. He felt out of place at every event, but Sydney, she was born into that life, it was where she belonged.
Sydney thought they had a great thing going and couldn't have been happier, but Jamie continued to struggle. He quickly realized this wasn't the life he thought he wanted. He wanted to be the man his parents raised him to be. A loving, caring soul.
His parents tried their best to engrain in all of their children that life wasn't about what you could do for yourself, but what you could do for others. He didn't feel like he was doing that, and was growing more unsatisfied with his choices every day.
Being a lawyer had its perks, but it was all about the money, and that wasn't Jamie. He knew he needed to make a change, but he kept those feelings to himself for a while, he didn't want to crush his girlfriend's dreams.
They were well known in their social circle, and Sydney loved the life they were building, but Jamie wasn't happy anymore and he knew he had to tell her soon. They were living her dreams, not his. This wasn't the life for him anymore. He didn't want to lose Syd, he loved her and wanted happiness for her, but not at the expense of his own any longer.
Jamie made a decision. He was going to pursue his own dreams now, and if Syd loved him as he loved her, she would understand. He told her he was leaving his job as corporate lawyer and going to the Police Academy. His dream was to be a New York City cop. That was how he wanted to be of service to others.
He tried to make her understand his decision and why it was so important to him, but she just couldn't get it. Why would he give up everything he worked so hard for, to become a cop? She couldn't marry a cop. Her parents would never approve of that. But she loved Jamie, she tried to understand. She didn't, but she tried.
Jamie had finished his rookie year with the NYPD, and despite his career change, they were able to keep their upscale apartment in Tribeca, with Syd's income that was never a problem. But now it was Sydney who wasn't happy.
Her parents told her to leave Jamie the second he made the ridiculous decision to become a cop. A Davenport would never be accepted as the wife of a cop. That is what they would say. She still loved him, though. It wasn't easy for either of them. Jamie knew exactly how her parents felt about him now, and he could tell Sydney shared a lot of those same feelings.
They tried to make it work, but with Jamie's new work schedule, he was rarely available to accompany her to the social gatherings she was expected to attend, and she wasn't expected to show up alone. She couldn't take it anymore. This was not the life they were supposed to have together.
Sydney had made a decision too. She was done with the guilt her parents had laid on her every day for the last year, and she was done with a relationship that she was certain was going nowhere, at least not by her standards, or her parents', and she was done with Jamie.
She still loved him, but it just wasn't enough anymore. She wanted more. She deserved more, and she wasn't going to let Jamie hold her back any longer. She was going to leave him, she just had to figure out when and how to tell him. Before she could, though, her world came crashing down around her when she found out she was pregnant.
How could she have let this happen? How could Jamie do this to her? Just because he let his dreams die, didn't give him the right to kill hers. She didn't want to be a mother. She never wanted to be a mother.
Jamie, on the other hand, finding out he was going to be a father was the best day of his life. He knew his and Syd's relationship was struggling, but maybe this would be the thing to turn it around. He was going to propose, make it official, and they could start a family. He was full of joy until Syd told him she wasn't going to have the baby. Now Jamie's world was crashing down. He was heartbroken.
Jamie cannot believe the words his girlfriend has just uttered. "Syd, what do you mean you're not going to have the baby," Jamie asks, astonished, attempting to contain his emotions for the moment, hoping he can change her mind.
"I don't want this baby, Jamie!" she screams. "This was never supposed to happen. This is not my dream…we used to have the same dreams, Jamie," she says, still yelling at him.
Jamie is doing his best to hold back tears. This can't be happening, he thinks to himself.
"Please, Syd, we can make new dreams. We can be a family and have a beautiful baby. You know we will make beautiful babies." He is pleading with her to understand him.
"Jamie, I can't do this." She is calmer now and she starts to cry.
"Yes, you can," he tells her as he reaches for her hands, taking her fingers gently in his. "And you won't be alone."
He is so reassuring and she finds herself starting to think about it.
"We will do this together, I will be the best father our baby could ever ask for," he promises her. "Let's have this baby, please, Syd," he begs, still holding her hands in his.
Jamie had said enough to convince Sydney that night, but she was still unsure, and downright terrified of what her parents would say. This would never be acceptable. Still, she would find a way to be a mother and have her prestigious career, too, she hoped.
Jamie had no idea of what Syd had planned to tell him before she learned she was pregnant. She knew it was better that way. He had convinced her to keep the baby, and she knew she didn't want to do it alone. She couldn't do it alone.
Their struggles continued throughout her pregnancy, however, as Sydney showed little regard for the life that was growing inside her. She wasn't harmful, but she wasn't careful either.
Jamie had begged her to take it easy, he would tell her she needed rest, and their baby needed her to rest, but she would never listen. Her career was still more important than their unborn child.
She had taken no interest in planning for his or her arrival, and she didn't care about nursery colors or even the baby's gender. She just wanted it all to be over so she could get back to living her life. That is what she would tell him.
Jamie had hoped that her feelings would change once the baby was born, once she held their baby in her arms, that is when she would finally get it, he thought. But that never happened.
Now, Jamie is standing in his doorway, shouting at Sydney as she disappears down the hall. He knows she isn't coming back but he doesn't understand how she can do this. How could any mother do this?
He retreats inside their apartment finding it difficult to contain his emotions. He is not sure what he is going to do. He will figure it out though, he has to. His shoulders are slumped, his head down, and he is crying now.
He heads into the second bedroom of the oversized apartment he and Syd shared for the last three years and opens the door slowly. Approaching the crib where their four-month-old daughter is sleeping peacefully, he leans down over the railing and caresses her stomach.
"We're going to be ok, baby girl', he whispers to her. "Daddy will always be here for you, I promise you that."
Tears are streaming down his face. His beautiful baby girl has no idea what is happening, but he continues to talk to her.
"Mommy is just lost, she really does love you. She just doesn't know what she wants right now."
He sniffles as he wonders if he is trying to convince the innocent baby he can't take his eyes off of, or himself.
He slides down into the glider next to his daughter's crib, eyes still red and swollen. He is done crying, but he can't convince himself to leave her room right now. He drops his head back against the plush, pink fabric covering the chair and replays the conversation between him and Syd earlier that night.
"Hey," Syd says quietly as she walks through the front door of their apartment and Jamie walks out of their daughter's room.
"Hi," Jamie responds, walking towards her.
He has no idea what she is about to say. He approaches her and leans in for a kiss, but Sydney pulls away.
"What's wrong," Jamie asks, tilting his head slightly, confused at her rejection.
"Jamie, we need to talk," her voice is low, but her tone instantly alerts him that something is wrong.
"Ok," he says, reaching for her hand, but she walks away. He is confused now and beginning to worry.
She sits down in one of their island stools, leaning her elbows on the granite countertop and catches her forehead in her hands, but not before Jamie sees a tear sneak from her eye. He sits on the stool beside her and she looks over at him slowly.
"I got a job offer today," she admits, and Jamie senses a tinge of guilt in her voice.
"I didn't know you were looking," he says, wondering why this is so upsetting to her.
"I wasn't," she pauses and looks away. She knows how this conversation is going to end, she has made her decision, she only feels guilty that it wasn't hard to make. "But this is a really great opportunity," she continues, still not looking at him.
"So it's a good thing then, right," he questions, trying to figure out what has her so upset. He reaches for her again to rub her back and she arches away from him.
"It's in London, Jamie." This time she meets his eyes and can see the devastation there.
For the second time in the last eleven months, Jamie can't believe the words coming from his girlfriend's mouth.
"London!" His response is slightly louder than he intended. 'What did you tell them?" He brings his voice back to a normal octave, mindful of their sleeping daughter in the other room.
"I accepted their offer," she says, and her answer isn't that surprising to him. She always did have little regard for Jamie and their daughter. She never thought to talk about important decisions with him, she always decided for them.
"Syd, we can't move to London. We have a baby, and our family is here, we can't just leave like that."
"Jamie, I'm going," she says firmly, and he knows her mind is made.
"Seriously, Syd. Can we at least talk about this?"
"There is nothing to talk about, Jamie."
They are still sitting at the island bar, and Jamie is slumped back against the seat now.
"You can't make this decision for us Syd. Like you do everything else. We are a family, and this is a decision we need to make together, I deserve a say in this," his voice is rising quickly.
"We're not a family Jamie, we're not even married," she shouts, and Jamie huffs an irritated laugh in her direction.
"It's not because I didn't ask you," he barks back and she is glaring at him now.
She had rejected his proposal when she was pregnant because there was no way she was going to wear a wedding dress in that condition, and that is exactly what she had told him.
"Marriage doesn't make us a family, we make us a family. You, me and our daughter," he tells her, more sincere now.
"Jamie, just stop. There is no point. I already accepted the offer and I'm going to London." She pauses briefly and looks away before she finishes. "Alone."
Jamie doesn't have any words. He is staring at her in disbelief as she stands to leave. Their conversation is over.
After a few minutes, he meets her in their bedroom. She has a bag packed and turns towards the door to see Jamie standing in there, leaning against the frame. His eyes are pleading with her, but she can't let herself feel right now. She has to do this.
"It's over, Jamie," she tells him softly. "My flight leaves tomorrow morning. You will be fine. You are a great father and Gracie is lucky to have you."
She walks past him, heading for their front door. She doesn't even stop by their daughter's room. Jamie follows her out and watches her leave. He is standing in the doorway now, shouting at her as she disappears down the hall. She never looks back.
Jamie pries his eyes open as he hears the soft cries coming from the crib. He had fallen asleep in the glider next to his daughter, and his neck hurts. He stands up, stretching the stiffness from his body and reaches down for his baby girl.
His embrace soothes her cries instantly and he whispers to her. "It's going to be ok. "We're going to be ok."
Sunlight is creeping through the curtains in her room and he shields her eyes as he lays her against his chest, his palm gently supporting the back of her head as they walk towards the kitchen.
Jamie knows what to do, he has practically raised her alone from the moment they brought her home from the hospital. He thinks about that day and the last four months. Sydney hasn't been much of a mother at all. It really isn't that surprising now that she would leave the way she did.
The mothers' instinct that Jamie hoped would come to her as soon as she delivered their daughter never did, and she spent the last four months focused on working her way back into the social circle she had slipped out of, while Jamie tended to every need their infant daughter had.
Feeding the baby her bottle now, he promises her that she will always be the most important girl in his life and that no one will ever take her place or come before her. He will do his best by her, and he promises her the world.