Part 7

Admiral Janeway sighed as she glanced around the tedious atmosphere she was in, and then began to daydream about being anywhere but here. Her thoughts seemed to always drift back to a specific time in her life where she was actually lost. The irony made her laugh as she tried to distract herself from thinking about that time in her life. Voyager and the Delta Quadrant were in the past, so it seemed pointless, or as Seven would say, futile.

Smiling inwardly, she sipped on her champagne, then found herself staring up at the radiant lights above. Their pinkish glow took her back to that place….that special place she would often go, regardless of what she was doing or even what time of day it was.

She shook her head and groaned as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "God, stop it; will you?" She had been telling herself that for almost four years now, yet it would all crawl right back in, consuming her thoughts. "I need therapy," she grumbled irritably.

Kathryn had tirelessly searched for Seven until she finally learned that her former astronomics officer was aboard the USS Caliber. They were currently assigned to the deepest region of the Gamma Quadrant, dealing with the aftermath of the Dominion War. The war had ended, but there were threats of another uprising, and the Federation was concerned enough to send their elite crews and advanced war ships to patrol the sectors.

Janeway absolutely hated the idea of Seven being deployed there, but there was nothing she could do about it. Her hands were tied. It didn't help that most of the information on Seven and the USS Caliber had been encrypted…. available on a need to know basis. She couldn't help but wonder if Seven was responsible for that.

Kathryn had been relieved to learn that the threat to the Gamma Quadrant was empty, and not a single shot had been fired in years. Still, she had not heard a word from Seven, and it simultaneously broke her heart and drove her crazy.

She finished her champagne and turned to leave the party, when she heard the ring a familiar voice…. the very voice that haunted her dreams night after night. Frozen, she felt the hairs on the back her neck spike and the pit of her stomach churned with panic tinged with excitement. Her heart catapulted up to her throat, and it took everything in her to keep from breaking down and sobbing or falling to her knees right there in front of everyone.

Janeway gathered a deep breath, and then another, and even another before she managed to collect the courage she needed to turn around.

There she was, just a few feet away, surrounded by a large group of people. Kathryn could only see part of her, but she recognized that stance that was so uniquely Seven's. She was wearing a long, blue designer dress and her hair…. God, her blonde hair had grown so much, and she was mesmerized by the large curls that went more than halfway down her back. Her heart actually skipped a beat, and even stopped when she heard a slight chuckle come from that perfect mouth.

Kathryn did not recall moving, and by the time she noticed, she was now even closer, and could finally get what her soul had longed for. She could now see the blues of Seven's eyes. They were shining with happiness, a happiness she herself had not seen in oh so long.

She swallowed as she inched even closer, and the proximity ignited a new confidence in her. She smirked as she soaked in the melody of Seven's voice as she shared a funny story with her captivated audience.

She wasn't planning to speak, but she heard herself say, "Seven." Her voice was deep and husky as her eyes never left Seven's.

Seven had heard that Kathryn might be attending the party, and she almost didn't go just to be safe. After giving it some thought, she decided she was not going to alter her life for someone who clearly didn't care about her, so she changed her mind and decided she didn't care if she saw her or not.

When she heard her voice, and how sensual it sounded…. well, it was so very Captain Kathryn Janeway that it tore at Seven's heart…. the very heart she had kept hidden. She managed to keep her emotions in check, and she turned and looked directly into the eyes she knew so well.

"Admiral," she greeted formally. She noticed that distinctive cocky grin on Janeway's face. It was one that the former Borg had witnessed time and time again on Voyager, yet she could not recall ever seeing it again after their night together.

"God," Kathryn breathed. "It is so good to see you." She reached out her hand for Seven to take. She just needed to make contact, and she didn't care how.

Seven's eyebrow rose as she stared at the offered hand, and she wasn't sure if she was feeling anticipation or mistrust. She finally accepted the handshake, and right away felt that familiar warmth and softness…. the very combination that drove Seven to the brink of ecstasy, and she knew without a doubt she would never be the same from it. She gritted through it, and almost flinched at the intensity in Kathryn's eyes as they seemed to scan her entire body.

"I see you are doing well," Seven finally said.

Janeway inched closer. "Oh, I suppose, but I'm definitely doing better now."

Seven eyed her with curiosity, uncertain what her former Captain was referring to. After a beat, she nodded. "Well, I assume you need to get back to your date."

Janeway made a face and shook her head. "My date?"

Seven's eyebrow arched again, and her eyes then turned toward something behind her. "Yes, your date." She then motioned with the nod of her head.

Kathryn turned around and cringed when she noticed the man she had been avoiding all night…. well, not just tonight, she had been avoiding him since she had returned to Earth. "Oh, no," she spewed, whipping back around toward Seven. "He is not my date."

The look on Kathryn's face made the blonde smile. "Oh?" she questioned teasingly. "Why not? He seems handsome enough."

Janeway instantly knew Seven was messing with her. "Seven," her voice grated. "Somehow I know better."

Seven's eyes grew darker as confidence radiated off her, so much so that the way she smiled made Kathryn catch her breath. It was new, and it thrilled her to no end. She could feel that old familiar spark between them, and she was falling back into it, but the spell she seemed to be under was broken when Seven spoke again.

"He seems perfect for you. He's an older man, and not under your command." Seven paused, her eyes serious as she glanced back at him, then back at Kathryn. "And he doesn't appear to be a mistake…. not at all."

Completely caught off guard, Kathryn felt her chest rise and the heat spread through her face. She was ready to strike back and tell her how wrong she was, but just as she opened her mouth, Walter interrupted.

"Kathryn, there you are." Walter leaned in and kissed her cheek, which made both Seven and Janeway's stomachs churn. "I have been looking all over for you."

Janeway's lips thinned as she made a face. "Well, you found me." She tried to sound polite, but she was more concerned with the critical glare Seven was shooting her way. She did not like the judgmental stare, and her eyes narrowed in on the blonde's demeanor, which had shifted from cool, icy Borg perfection to this critical and contemptuous disapproval. It brought a new fire to the Admiral's stomach like she had never felt before.

"I won't keep you," Seven sneered, her tone presumptuous. She began to turn back to rejoin the group she had been with earlier.

Kathryn quietly growled as she reached out a hand to grasp her bicep. "Seven, we are not done," she exhaled, as Seven's head titled in annoyance.

"And why is that, Admiral?"

"Please, can we go somewhere to talk?"

"Kathryn," Walter's stern voice broke in. "I do believe you owe me a dance."

The smirk Seven was giving her began to piss her off, and she clenched a fist and gritted her teeth. "Walter, can you…."

Seven cut her off. "No, no, you two go on and have fun on the dance floor," she said airily, then her eyes darkened. "Besides, I do believe you've already said everything you needed to say that night in your ready room."

"No," Janeway protested, but Walter had slid in between them and held out his arms. "Shall we?"

Janeway pushed him aside to answer Seven, but she had already slipped back into her group. "So, who wants to dance with me?" she heard the blonde announce. Suddenly, everyone's hands raised, and much to her surprise, Seven took hold of the hand belonging to the elegant woman standing in the back.

"God," she heaved, her nostrils flaring as she turned back to Walter. "Let's get this over with, BUT, one dance, and I do not owe you anything anymore. Am I clear?"

Not even a minute into the song, her eyes found Seven, and she immediately noticed how close she and the elegant woman were dancing. They seemed quite familiar with each other, as if they had already known each other. In fact, as she continued to watch them dance, she could have sworn she knew this woman as well but was unsure of how. All she was certain of was that watching Seven with this woman was driving her crazy. It was even worse than when she had to watch Seven with her former Commander.

"You are so tense, Kathryn. Is something wrong?"

"As a matter of fact, there is. I really need to talk to Seven, but instead I'm out here with you," she informed him truthfully, not even bothering to hide her annoyance.

Walter halted his dancing and gazed down at her. "Is it that important?"

"Yes, it is," she sighed.

"But she did not seem eager to talk with you," he pointed out.

"No, but you see, that is on me. We didn't part on the best of terms."

He glanced in Seven's direction. "She was part of your crew? On Voyager?"

"I think you know that, Walter."

He lightly chuckled and then gently pulled away from her. "Well, then, I think I shall go get a drink so you can talk to her."

Janeway squeezed his arm and gave him a sincere smile. "Thank you. I appreciate that." She zeroed in on Seven, then took a breath and marched over to her.

"Mind if I cut in?"

Seven and the woman gave her matching perplexed looks, then Seven glanced at her date and nodded, but what she did next shocked the Admiral. "You two enjoy your dance. I shall go refill my champagne," she voiced nonchalantly.

"Seven," Janeway bit out. "We need to talk…. right now!" she barked.

Seven did not like this tone, although it was one she knew very well. Holding it together, she managed to steel her emotions behind her Borg exterior. "Okay, then talk." She glanced at the woman she had been dancing with, who nodded as she excused herself, telling Seven she would wait for her by the bar.

"Not here," Kathryn huffed, then proceeded to walk toward the balcony. She glanced behind her to make sure Seven was coming, and for a moment, didn't think she was going to, but the blonde clenched her jaw and followed.

Seven tried to keep her emotions in check. She didn't want to talk to Kathryn, did not want to hear anything she had to say. But she was curious as to what this woman could possibly want to talk about. For a brief nanosecond she felt fear ripple through her and wondered if somehow Kathryn had found out about Selene. No, that's not possible. The Doctor is quite aware of what I would do to him if he betrayed my confidence, and so do Chakotay and Tuvok.

"Well, you got me here, so talk," Seven fired, as soon as they were alone.

Kathryn took a calming breath. No matter how many years had passed, it seemed Seven would always get under her skin. "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"You're so aloof. Cold, even."

"Why does it even matter?"

"Seven, you were an integral member of my crew," Janeway began. Her eyes slipped shut and she took a shaky breath before she opened them up and looked into Seven's. "I thought we were friends," she said softly, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Astounded, Seven's jaw almost dropped open. "You thought…." she started, then stopped. "I suppose I thought that as well. Then everything just changed." She felt that familiar twinge of guilt knot in her stomach, knowing that Kathryn had no idea how much things had changed. I have to tell her. No matter what, she needs to know. I don't want to keep this secret from her anymore.

Janeway flinched. "I know, and if I could go back and do things differently, I would," she voiced.

Stunned at hearing that, Seven hesitated before she spoke. "What would you go back to? Before we landed on that planet? Before we ever met? Before I even stepped on Voyager?" Seven didn't realize she was holding her breath in anticipation. Would Kathryn really wish to go back and erase what they had shared?

"That's not it. Not even close, and you know that," Janeway bit, feeling the hurt in her chest that the blonde would even go there.

"Do I?" Seven shot back.

"Yes. Deep down, I know you do."

"I know nothing of the sort," Seven stated, swiftly and precisely. "What I do know is that everything changed that night. I remember your words clearly. You told me to forget it, that it was a mistake, and to never bring it up again." Her voice cracked and she took a deep breath to stay calm. "There's so much I needed to tell you…." she faded off, as the cruel words this woman had leveled at her came flooding back. It was a mistake. She vividly recalled how that had broken something inside of her, and she would be die before she would allow her daughter to feel that kind of pain. She doesn't love me. She will hurt me. What if she can't love Selene? I won't let anyone hurt my child…. not even her other mother. She inhaled another deep breath and looked over her shoulder. "I did as I was commanded. I NEVER brought this up again, and I never will. Now, if you will excuse me, I really must be going."

Janeway had watched Seven's face but was unable to read the former Borg. She had carried so much guilt and regret, and now she felt worse than ever as she realized Seven was about to leave her again. "No! You can't!" Her eyes went wide at her own outburst.

Seven glared at her. "You may be an Admiral, but you no longer have any authority over me. That tie was severed years ago," she gritted out.

"You don't mean that," Janeway tried, her voice soft.

Before Seven could respond, they were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing from behind them. Turning, she saw a few of her crew.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's time to go," the young crewman informed her. "Picard just hailed us. We need to break orbit in seven hours."

Seven nodded. "I will be right there." She watched as he nodded back with worried eyes, then he shifted back around the pillar and into the room.

"I must go," she said.

"Picard?" Janeway's mouth opened and closed in disbelief.

"Yes. I have been promoted and assigned to the USS Enterprise. We are getting ready to embark."

Shocked, Kathryn took a step back. "How? I mean…. when? How long?" she stammered.

"As long as it takes," she stated firmly.

Janeway blinked, processing what she was hearing. "Wait, you were promoted?" she breathed. "You're a lieu….tenant commander now?"

"Commander," Seven answered. She paused and noticed the flabbergasted expression on Kathryn's face. She seemed so…. lost. She finally dropped the wall she held up between them and actually took her all in for the first time in years. She noted she was still so very beautiful, and she wanted nothing more than to pull her in her arms and beg her to love her. But deep down she knew that was impossible. There was no way that this woman could or would ever love her like Seven desperately wanted. Nor could she love their daughter.

"It was good to see you, Capt…. Admiral," she husked, her voice now emotional as she walked away.

Admiral Janeway could do nothing as she watched this woman walk away from her yet again.