Control
That's what Blair Waldorf needed every day of her life. She could control how much she spent. How much she ate. How long she would purge. What her minions at school could do. There were many things she could control however she could feel that control slipping through her fingers like water.
She was laying in an examination room with machines all around her. She felt dizzy and sick. She could barely remember the limo ride as she had blackout for most of it. The ache in her back was fading yet still ever so present. She shifted as a doctor walked into the room.
"Miss Waldorf" she began.
Blair didn't need to hear the rest.
She had been pregnant
She was having a miscarriage
And that was how 2009 was going to begin for college bound Blair Waldorf
Because that's what she wanted right...to not start 2009 in a bad way and being pregnant with her not-boyfriend was so bad. The doctor droned on about how it could take a couple days before any tissue passed through and that she should come back when it did so that they could clear her uterus. They gave her medicine in the meantime to help it along.
"Do you want me to call anyone?" asked the doctor. "Parents?"
"No" squeaked Blair a little more panicked than she intended. "I'm 18 years old and perfectly capable of getting home"
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
"What are you still doing here?" asked Blair gloomily as she looked at Jack Bass who was sitting uncomfortably on those plastic chairs.
"You didn't think that I was going to leave you here by yourself, did you?"
"I wish you had" she muttered while placing her things in her purse. She cursed to herself as she looked at her clothes.
"Blair I know what happened…" started Jack. "Was it Chuck's?"
She blinked back tears and glared at Jack coldly. He took the tears in her eyes and the glared that was piercing through him as an answer. "Look let me just help you. I'll get you home and we can call someone"
"I don't want anyone right now" chimed in Blair. "I don't want anyone to know"
Because this was by far embarrassing appearing fragile and weak in front of Chuck's uncle. It was shameful because deep inside she was relieved. Nature had stepped in and did what Blair didn't want to do herself.
"How about I go to your place and get you some things?" offered Jack. "I should be back before they release you"
Blair swallowed as she stared up at the dull white ceiling. She didn't think letting Jack have free reign in her bedroom searching through her underwear drawer was the brightest idea.
"I just want new clothes and the store is closer"
Jack nodded and promptly left the room.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
B
I'm a little sad about leaving BA and coming back home to the disaster that is home. Did Jack find Chuck yet? Is he still that 'hot piece of ass' you crushed on in Australia?
S
If it weren't for the current situation she was in Blair would have smiled at her friend's message. It had been so easy for Serena to detach herself and run away to a foreign country. That's how it was when her bff left for boarding school. It had been too easy for her. Sometimes she wished she could be like Serena. She typed on her keys wondering what to text her friend next.
S
I need you
She hit the backspace several times, because Blair Waldorf didn't admit to be needy. Plus Serena would know something was wrong and would push Blair to tell her. No, not yet it was too soon. It also wasn't exactly the thing you sent a text about. So she restarted her text
S
For one that's gross and I was 14 I hope you get that out of your system. For another get back here hasn't been the same without you
And lastly no that motherchucker is still MIA
B
She hit send not expecting a reply for hours due to the time zone.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
"What are you doing?" asked Jack as the girl next to him began scrolling furiously on her phone.
"Nothing" she said. In actuality she had been checking Gossip Girl's website on her phone as she sat in the Bass limo. It totally slipped her mind the whole time she was at the hospital. It was getting dark now the streets once again coming alive and the stores closing because of the holiday. She sat back remembering the good times her and her friends had.
Jack still stared at the robot seated next to him. She sat straight up with her hands in her lap. Her hair was still as perfect as it was this afternoon along with her makeup. She was acting like they just spent the day shopping together instead of her being told she was having a miscarriage. She was just a girl trying to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Jack knew girls like these and they usually fell pretty hard.
"I thought you were taking me back to my place" snapped Blair as she rolled down the window being exposed to the dropping temperatures of New York.
"I don't think that's a great idea in your condition" reasoned Jack as he moved closer to her. "You just and are going through an ordeal and you need someone to watch over you"
"Listen I'm not some injured puppy that needs tending to" said Blair. "Dorota…"
"Is not around so don't feed me the bullshit that she's waiting for you at the penthouse" countered Jack as he looked at Blair straight in the eyes. She looked down. "Otherwise you would have called her at the hospital"
He wasn't dense that was a fact.
"You still have to leave tomorrow" insisted Blair.
"Well I don't know now since I'll be worried about you all night" teased Jack as he sighed and began to tell the driver to take Blair back home.
No, he couldn't renege on their deal. That was the whole reason for her seeking his help. She needed Chuck. She wanted to know he was safe and alive. She wanted to feel him. It wasn't a question. It had to be done. She would do anything to see him again.
"No" barked Blair stopping the driver before he could move from the space. "I'll accompany you tonight Jack, sleeping in the spare bedroom"
"Great" he said a little too enthusiastically.
As he got out of the car Blair winced again at the sharp pain that hit her side. She could now feel the heavily bleeding happening. And she didn't know how to feel entirely.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
She lingered on the one picture of them. Taking at the snowflake ball mugging for the camera after their dance together and then soon came the news that broke their world. It was the last time she would see Chuck Bass smile for time to come. She ran a finger along the screen of the phone. A knock and the sound of someone opening the door made her exit the screen a lump beginning to form.
It was late and she was tired after that strenuous day.
Jack walked into the room wearing flannel pajama pants and nothing else.
"Could you at least have put a shirt on?" muttered Blair.
Jack chuckled slightly. "Come on Blair you should know that a Bass man likes to sleep in the nude. I'm doing you a favor"
Blair rolled her eyes, she knew from frequent times that unless Chuck was screwing someone he always liked a nice pair of pajamas and even having a moment visual of Bart Bass sleeping in the nude was quite disturbing.
He handed her a crystal glass only filled about a quarter of the way. Blair sniffed it immediately drawing it away from her face in disgust.
"It'll help you sleep"
"I don't drink scotch"
"It's Chuck's favorite" Jack threw in. "I send a bottle to him every holiday"
"Ah yes feeding his alcoholism is the way to go" snipped Blair sarcastically.
"Can't deny the man what he likes if it's not me giving it to him it's some bartender that can be bribed"
He sat on the bed and she took the glass placing it bedside. She didn't think she wanted to consume alcohol with what was going on with her body.
"Are you going to tell Chuck?" asked Jack as he watched Blair pull her knees to her chest. For the first time since his arrival she could see that her guard was let down as she looked up at him in almost a pleading way.
"No" was her answer. The answer he wanted because that once again put him into prime position. Where he controlled the game. "It's something he can never know. He's already over the edge. He would just blame himself"
"You certainly can't blame yourself" said Jack softly. "These things just happen"
Blair nodded even though she was pretty sure Jack didn't know what the hell he was talking about. He certainly hasn't had a miscarriage. She stifled a sob suddenly. She was so very tired, and so lonely. Jack sat there watching her shell chip just slightly and he tucked a strand behind her ear.
"These things can't happen to me" she brushed her hair back again with her free hand. "And I need him here with me. I need to know"
"Ok ok" said Jack placing a hand on her shoulder and moving in closer he slowly embraced her as he felt hot tears hit his own bare shoulder. It had been so long since a woman literally cried on his shoulder. The way Blair smelled, and felt it was no wonder his nephew had been involved with her. He pulled back slightly as she moved to wipe her tears. He captured her hand into his own and wiped them away himself with his free thumb. "Jack Bass will make it all better"
He placed a chaste kiss to her cheek soft, wet, and warm probably just like a certain part of her. Plain old Blair Waldorf, the scrawny little 14 year old that would wear the pants in all her relationships be it platonic or not. Whom would look like a pale flower compared to Serena's glow. Now here she was 4 years later, filled out in all the right places her hair soft, and curled. Her eyes large and dark.
So he moved before he had a chance to know what was going on and he placed another soft kiss to her supple pink lips lingering on her lower lip.
Blair pushed him away slightly the tears seemingly gone for now. "These things can't happen to me"
Jack nodded and moved off the bed. "I'm sorry that was improper of me considering the circumstances" He watched as she moved her legs even closer to her body as if to conjure a protective shield. He turned and went for the door.
"Your secret is kept with me Blair" he said with his back turned towards her. And he left it at that shutting the door behind him. Notice the lack of 'safe' and 'promise'.
Blair shut off the lamp and laid down on the bed wide eyed at what had just occurred. Sure it was just a kiss. Was it even that? She hadn't responded, but she had let it take place. Blair stood up and walked to the private bathroom. She went to the toilet, lifted the lid, stuck her middle finger down her throat as far as it could go and expelled the small dinner Jack had made her eat an hour before. She couldn't lose control…not again.
She had things to expect in her life and it couldn't be her stoned, drunk off his ass not boyfriend.
Her acceptance letter from Yale
Her acceptance into the Colony Club
The final semester of her high school years
It would all fall into place
Associating with the Basses could no longer be Blair Waldorf's priority
It was a new year
She was a year older
It was time to be wiser
End
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
And that's the story. Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and who are going to do so. So yes I want to think this is the secret between Jack and Blair that she miscarried. And then there's the kiss that did happen to kind of cover the promo of when Chuck said, "Blair would never touch you" and Jack said, "Ask her yourself" though he could be lying to cover the real reason. Please review constructively and give me your speculation.
**Note: Yes I am aware that Blair and Chuck have not had sex in the show since...hmm I guess at least the beginning of season 2 perhaps longer. My mistake was leaving that plot hole open in my story I apologize in advance since the whole fic was based on a pregnancy I should have included some kind of a flashback or a mention of when them having sex could have taken place. However it wasn't lost in my mind totally I'd like to think that they had sex after they danced in "It's a Wonderful Lie". Lily couldn't find Chuck.
In most post 2x13 fanfics it's written popularly that Blair and Chuck had sex before he left her that note because he begged her too. So you can throw that in your head's too. I think Blair looked way too composed afterwards but hey it's fanfiction lol.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing it means alot! Especially since this is my first GG fanfic