Hey everyone. Life is just too…blah right now. I'm lucky that I even got this up tonight at this point. Anyway humor seems to be lingering a lot – there will even be some in the next chapter, though not likely afterwards.

Again thank you so much everyone for your reviews on and the well wishes on my notice. Every kind word is appreciated – and constructive criticism is welcome.

angel897, decadenceofmysoul, and pourquoibella – Thank you for the kind words and I hope you like this part!

An Echo In Time – Nori being a thief and all I figured he would notice the little odds and ends of the realm of men. Also we all know Nori likes things to be HANDS ON. ;)

inperfection – I'm glad you liked Tauriel's character. I always thought it was odd that she actually flirted back with Kili considering that she was an ELF. Like they are the definition of dignified so I thought I would expand it. Be sure to tell me what you think about her father in the next chapter.

0x0UnderDog0x0 and Christina Fey – Yep our beautiful dwarves are goofballs, but not idiots. The idea was kind of that they all knew before the trolls, hence the lack of reaction with the mask and the voice.

Everyone please be sure to check out QueefCream's story: Lians' Contingency. She recently completed it and is a really good read!

One of my reviewers is Lesliezin. I absolutely love her Thorin/OC story: A Shadowed Companion. All should read, it's fantastic and it's developing a turning point.

Also while I don't think she has read my story I want to give a shout out to JMac322. She has just started the second part to her Thorin/OC story and I absolutely love it. Check out both parts. The first one is Home is Behind and the second part is The World Ahead. We correspond regularly so I'm sure she would love more conversation than just me! Go check her stuff out!

Thorin stands on one of the upper level terraces of Erebor's merchant district. He can see a handful of his people wandering the large walkways below. There are many fewer than during the Golden Age, but at least there are some. They are craftsman who have staked out the best locations for their vocations once more dwarves arrive to the mountain. Construction is still underway, the sounds of hammers and the bellowing of the forges became a light droning noise in the market's background.

Thorin can't keep the smile off his face as they began to rebuild. He did it; he managed to secure the mountain for his people. Somewhere amongst the walkways and decrepit buildings both Bofur and Dori have selected buildings of their own. The rest of the company found positions amongst the nobles or working class and had no real interest in starting their own business. However, as members of his company, and now close friends, he is almost as excited as them to see their shops prosper.

"Anxious, my king?"

Thorin turns to face the ranger, to chastise her for sneaking up on him, but his words die in their place. She wears a simple dark blue dress that gives the appearance of clinging to her shoulders. The neckline, which cups her chest nicely, and cuffs are lined with a golden dwarvish design. The fabric is solid and flows easily down to her feet where blue and gold felt slippers stick out. She wears a thin belt made of golden overlapping plates that almost look like scales and in the center a small buckle with the House of Durin's insignia. The stars, which are studded with sapphires, seem to rest on the points of the crown as though holding them up. Beneath the crown is the hammer and anvil, made of onyx. It is delicate work, but clearly the dwarf who made it had been passionate about the piece

Her hair is tied back into single plait with a silver ribbon holding back her hair. Framing her face are the two warrior beads she never received from her parents. One bears Fili's mark and the other is Kili's; it seems that the boys got their wish and gave Tahna the sister in arms gems which rest above the beads. They would have been new beads if she was male, but the rubies suit her nicely. Around her eyes charcoal lines them, making her eyes more vibrant. Her lips are also no longer chapped, giving them a proper fullness Thorin hadn't seen on the journey.

She looks lovely for one of the race of men. Thorin has been amongst men for a long enough time that if he were entirely forthcoming he would say that his taste in women reflects that. He had come to appreciate their bare faces and could overlook their height if he liked them enough. So in the recesses of Thorin's mind he thought her lovely regardless of race.

Her mouth invitingly breaks out into a smile, curving the delicate scar in the corner of her mouth. He watches the flawed skin as he offers her a hand to join him, not even questioning his actions as he does so. She approaches and slides her hand into his, allowing herself to be lead to the stone rail that overlooks the district. As she looks out over the ruined city she rubs her thumb over the back of his hand in a soothing motion.

"Soon, Thorin, soon," she smiles at him. "The boys are so excited. They can hardly wait for Dis to arrive. I think that Dwalin and Dain may very well sit on them if they don't behave."

Thorin's small smile splits wider at the thought of his nephews excitedly running around Erebor in preparation for their mother's arrival. He had not seen his sister in over a year and now she is returning to the place of her birth, she is coming home. Thorin can't help also noting that it would be the first time she met Tahna as well; she had heard of Fili and Kili adopting a sister, but soon they would meet face to face.

"Are you nervous?" he asks as he tries to ally her fears.

"A little," she confides, "After all, the way you all speak of her makes her sound…intimidating."

Thorin chuckles a little, recalling a poor joke on Dwalin's part, that Dis was the Dragon of the Blue Mountains. She is a right terror when she wants to be. But rather than tell her that he brings her knuckles to his lips. Letting them run over the callused skin of her knuckle as a show of comfort and affection.

"Do not fret. She will love you as we all do. You have helped us reclaim our home and saved us more times than we can count. That will surely count for something. After all, you are the first human to live in Erebor in over three centuries," he says confidently.

Never had a human been adopted into the royal family, but he would not deny his sister-sons and in truth he liked having the ranger around. Despite the council's suspicions she has easily earned her place among them.

"I can't think of anywhere else I would rather be," she returns. Thorin breaks eye contact with her for a moment to look out over the promise of what will once more be a bustling city. With hope in his heart and a kind hand in his, he feels contentment. With everything before him he is overwhelmed with emotions that he rarely experiences and it makes him rather energetic, but rather relaxed at the same time. It is all too complicated to explain…

He begins to notice Tahna's grip tightening on his own. So with a laugh he continues, "Truly, Dis is not that frightening. Except when blackberry pie is involved. Did Fili ever tell you – Tahna that's starting to hurt!"

He has never met a human that could put that much pressure on his hand. He looks up at her both angry and concerned, but what he sees stops his heart, cold. Rather than meeting Tahna's warm, golden eyes he meets Smaug's golden orange with a gapping black slit. The eyes are distorting her face, large orbs that shouldn't manage to fit on her face. Her nose has almost disappeared into her face, the nostrils forming jagged V shapes on her face and her mouth is now lined with pointed teeth. Everything is too large to fit properly on her face, but manages just barely to retain the human features. Her abused form leans in closer and drags him from the railing with the steely grip she has on his hand. Thorin, still in shock, has become her prey and is now trapped.

"Soon, my king," hisses a voice that is not hers. Her large yellow eyes gleam wickedly as she adds, "Soon."

Thorin cries out in hopes that someone will hear him, but the sounds cannot be heard as the drone that had once been in the background now fills the large chamber beneath the mountain. He tries once more, but no one would be able to hear it as he is consumed by the flames emitting from Tahna's maw.

Thorin jolts awake. He pants as he tries to collect his breathing. He takes in his surroundings, now recalling he is still stuck in the elvish city of Rivendell. It takes a few moments before he can collect himself. His face burns as though he had been leaning over a forge…or had a brush with dragon fire.

"Thorin?"

Dwalin's voice cuts through the still silence of the chamber, startling him. Looking at his second in command he can see the concern for his friend written across his face. The others are beginning to rise and pack their things. They had forgone the elvish dinner after eating a large afternoon meal that would hopefully satiate them until they were far enough away from Rivendell. For a few moments Thorin has no words allay his friend's fears because he is trying to shake them off himself.

Dwalin turns to Gloin, "Have everyone ready to move out at a moment's notice. Once the ranger returns come fetch us."

Gloin nods as Dwalin heads over to Thorin and extends a hand to pull him off his sleeping roll. He waits for Thorin to start walking so he could follow him. They go to the balcony and partly down the stone path that descends to the fountain they bathed in earlier. Thorin leans against the wall between two steps and relishes the cool air. They remain there as to not be too far away from the company when the ranger returns. After a few moments Thorin regains his composure, but cannot meet his friend's gaze.

"Which one was it?"

Thorin twitches slightly at the question. It shames him to know that he is so affected by night terrors from battles past that they are considered uncommon. However, he does take pride that he requires no coddling like a dwarfling. Dwalin usually doesn't ask; he usually doesn't have to. Somehow during their long lives, Dwalin has reached the point where he can easily identify every dream Thorin is having, but tonight he wouldn't have recognized it.

Fili and Kili once tried to help after seeing him like that. He had only told them that it would be best if they forgot the incident entirely. While they have headed Thorin's warning so far, they would watch him from time to time with concerned looks in their eyes from a distance. He knew they mean well, but he doesn't need any spectators. He needs…

Would you like to be alone with your thoughts?

"Usually I can tell which one ya were thinking about," Dwalin continues. "But I ain't seen this one before."

The taller dwarf knows his king isn't one to pour his heart out – in truth that would be quite disturbing. But the simple fact that Dwalin cannot place what had frightened Thorin so is also discomforting. It's one of the few times he wishes Thorin would open up to him.

"Tell me what's on yer mind, Thorin. Mahal knows the strain it will be under once we finally get that crown of yours. It'll add more weight so it would be best if we could get rid of as much dead weight as we can," it brought Dwalin a little joy to see the faintest twitch in Thorin's lips.

Thorin still won't look him in the eye, but at least he seems to be listening to Dwalin. A silence lapses over the pair and for a moment Dwalin thinks that he will say nothing more on the matter, but then Thorin surprises him.

"I was right," he says finally.

"…I'm sorry," offers Dwalin, "I don't think I heard you quite right. You mind repeatin' that for me?"

While Thorin isn't above admitting when he's wrong (regardless of the hassle it takes to get even there), he has never had 'being right' a reason to cause nightmares. It is a new one that Dwalin isn't prepared for.

"The ranger," starts Thorin, "She's a girl."

Dwalin allows the comment to sink in for a moment and he wonders if Thorin's doubts are still getting the better of him. "Thorin, you can't know that for sure…"

"I know," he responds instantly, then as if rethinking his words, he adds, "I'm sure."

Dwalin takes the hint from the tone of voice that there is no need to ask how sure the king is and so he shifted to the dilemma that is likely troubling Thorin's mind.

"Then what are we going to do about it? Is she gonna leave now that we know?" he asks.

Thorin shoots him a confused look complete with scrunched eyes and pursed lips. "No," says Thorin, "She's not trying to leave. In fact, I do believe she has blackmailed me into letting her stay."

"Thank Mahal for that. Then what's the problem?" says Dwalin casually. Thorin stares blankly at his friend. Did Dwalin not realize the implications if Thorin permits the girl to continue with them? Thorin allows his annoyance to cover the surprise of Dwalin's reaction from his face. The axe wielding warrior recognizes the look. "What?" he asks.

"Does it not concern you that she lied to us?" Thorin asks harshly. "Does it not bother you that by letting us unwittingly bring her along it questions our honor?"

Dwalin's eyes widen slightly, "That's what has you bothered? The status of our honor? How does bringing a lass with us damage that? She's skilled and we are in need of her talents. How is she any different than any of the dams we travelled with over the years?"

"Those dams were with us for protection, they weren't charged with facing a dragon at the end of the road," Thorin counters. "You and Balin agreed that she is young even for her kind."

"You're changing the subject, lad," Dwalin states. "Is this a matter of age, gender, or our honor? We have travelled with many a dwarrowdam and all have proven themselves capable to defend themselves. I'll be sure to tell Dis to give you a reminder once she returns to Erebor." Thorin smiles a little at the thought. "Just because the realms of men do not hold their women in as high of a regard doesn't mean you have to the same to the poor lass."

"I do not think less of her because she is a woman or a human," Thorin argues. He can already sense that Dwalin has made up his mind about the subject.

"Neither do I. It's rare to find a human as loyal as her," Dwalin concedes. "Then it must be age that makes you hesitant. She'd be a little older than you when the dragon came upon us. And how different is she from you back then? She has lost her family, her home, and much like us has taken to wandering. You have heard and seen her skills fist hand – you know she is not a child Thorin. She is a woman of sound mind and can make decisions for herself, a young one I'll grant ya, but a woman none the less."

"That doesn't make it right…"Thorin expresses weakly. What Dwalin doesn't know is that he is very much aware that Tahna is a woman. So he fights the blush on his cheeks as he tries to find another reason to deny her.

Dwalin seems to puff up a little at this, "I know honor is important to any dwarf, especially you Thorin. When elves and men have so little it is important that we uphold ours as best we can, but let us be honest here. When we had to move our dams from Ered Luin to the Blue Mountains how many pretended to be men? How many had to take on roles to protect themselves and their children? We cannot hold it against her Thorin. Just because Children of Men have more women among them doesn't mean they shouldn't protect themselves."

"That is the point," Thorin surges. "Just because she is human, Imelkane born or not, and we should keep her safe."

"Keep her safe?!" asks Dwalin incredulously. "Who was it who saved us from the trolls? The burglar stalled for time until it the ranger came to save us! It would be stupid on our part to leave her behind." Thorin realizes that he could not ignore the facts, but that didn't make it any easier. "She has been facing all manner of dark creatures since her people fell, same as you and me. Her skills are a necessity we cannot do without." Thorin silently stares out over the valley, knowing what the only choice really is. It doesn't sit well with him; he had brought the ranger along to try and show that he still had command over his company despite the wizard's overhanging will. How did this one human woman manage to turn that thought around and smack him in the face with it?

"Then it's decided," says Dwalin eerily mirroring Tahna's words. "We will keep her with us. If your still worried about I will keep an eye on her and I'll make sure the others don't find out. None of them would think less of you for wanting to keep her, you know?" Thorin's eyes snap up at the insinuation, but Dwalin doesn't let it bother him, "Don't give me that look. I know that is bothers ya more than anything else." Thorin isn't going to make himself look more guilty by denying it, but he breaks eye contact with his second in command.

"I'm curious though," Dwalin starts. "How'd she blackmail you into anything?"

"The map," Thorin responds bitterly.

"Ah," answers Dwalin as if it explains everything. For the most part it did, but there is one question lingering that Dwalin now feels more comfortable asking. "So…how did ya find out he's a she?"

Thorin doesn't answer, just shifts on his feet and draws his arms in a little tighter over his chest. His face gives nothing away, but Dwalin notices the slight coloring of the king's cheeks amongst the whiskers of his beard. At this reaction Dwalin initially raises an eyebrow until he recalls having found the ranger and the king in the bathing room. A smug grin breaks out over the taller dwarf's face. Thorin looks up to see this and then opens his mouth to prevent Dwalin from suggesting anything when Bofur appears.

"The ranger's back," he says hurriedly. "He says he's ready to read the map whenever you're ready, Thorin."

As quickly as the Firebeard had appeared, he swiftly makes his way back up the stone steps. Thorin is eager to follow to avoid the topic the conversation has turned to. However, Dwalin is not ready to let it go just yet. He so rarely finds the opportunity to tease Thorin as he had when they were younger. Now when it presents itself he cannot resist.

"Thorin," Dwalin pauses momentarily to make sure he has his friend's attention. Thorin, being the good friend he is, turns around even at his own detriment. Thorin's agony is clear in his eyes, but Dwalin shows him no mercy. He enthusiastically throws his hands up to his chest as though to grab his mail, but the bent fingers hang just above it.

"I know you prefer a lass with an ass, but I got to know. How big are they?" he asks with a flex of his fingers.

"I'm sorry, Kili," I mumble. "I didn't even know you remembered our conversation."

"It's alright," he sadly murmurs. "You were working on getting us out of here. You couldn't have known."

As we made ready to leave Kili had pulled me aside. Apparently he had seen Tauriel and I somewhere while we were going over the escape plan. When I returned and Kili approached me with a sad face I was overwhelmed with concern. After asking him quietly what was wrong he told me he had wished to see Tauriel again. We stood away from the others so that the others wouldn't know he had been looking forward to seeing the elleth again; as well as apologizing again for his behavior. The fact that he remembered the conversation set me on edge, but he made no mention of what I had told him.

"Don't worry, Kee," I pause for a moment wondering when I started calling the heirs of Durin by their favored nicknames, "I'm sure there will be another opportunity to-" A loud sound has me looking up at the balcony, but when I see nothing I return to my statement, "Talk to her again." His crestfallen face has me resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "After all, elves do live a very long time."

He gives me a slight smile and opens his mouth to say something more when something else draws his attention. "What in the Maker's forge happened to you?"

I turn to see Dwalin now outlined by the moonlight on the balcony. Everyone else is looking at the gruff dwarven soldier as well and upon extended examination I can see what Kili originally caught. His beard and remaining hair are entirely askew and there is a small, steady trickle of blood going down the side of his head. His hands are on his hips with his thumbs tucked into his belt, a large shit-eating grin plastered on his face. I can't help wondering if he actually managed to get into a fight with some of the elves.

Balin silently approaches his brother, handing him a cloth to put pressure on the cut. He just shakes his head and the others leave it alone, even though they have confused looks on their faces. Thorin comes in from outside behind his friend, unwilling to meet anyone's gaze. He heads straight to his pack and finishes putting away any remaining items and securing his bed roll. I look between them a moment before my eyes drift to Dwalin hoping my raised eyebrow is enough to have him answer my question.

"Don't ya worry about this, lad," he finally says with a twinkle in his eye. "It was well worth it."

My eyebrow rises higher, seriously considering that he may have killed some elves. But he gives me an odd looks before seeing to his own pack. I want to inquire about this outlandish…behavior, but we are on a time limit. I can't let Tauriel's assistance be in vain. Night only lasts so long in summer. I head over to Thorin and hold my hand out.

"The moon is high enough. I can read it now," I explain.

Thorin pulls the map out of the inner breast pocket of his coat and hands it to me without even looking at me. However, he hesitates only slightly as I can feel the heat radiating from his glove as it brushes over my cool fingertips. I ignore the tingling sensation it leaves as I open the map.

I'm confused, but it is clear that I will receive no answers from either of them. I suppose that I will never know what happened, but it doesn't really seem important. I stand just where the moonlight enters the room. The torchlight behind us is my only other source of light. I kneel so that the others can see as well. Like clockwork they surround me, each watching the map with baited breath. The effect, while not instantaneous, is fast. It only takes a moment or so of moonlight on the paper for the mithril to fill the paper. The words glow a light silver and blue color as the runes reveal themselves. The others release a sigh of relief and I think I can sense Balin patting Thorin's arm.

"What does it say, lad?" asks Gloin eagerly.

Now that I am done being in awe of the spectacle myself I start reading over the runes. I can feel my face scrunch up in confusion. The words are clear to me, but the meaning is not. I read it once more and still do not understand.

"I don't know what the words mean," I confess.

"Perhaps it's in Khazdul," suggests Balin. "If you write it down we can translate it."

"No the words are Westron, but they do not form a riddle," I huff. "I do not understand."

"Read it aloud," says Thorin.

"'Stand by the Grey Stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's day will shine upon the keyhole'," I read. I look back up at Thorin and our eyes meet, "What does it mean? It's not a riddle…"

I wait for an answer, but Thorin just seems lost for some reason. His expression is peculiar and looks at me with some emotion I can't determine. I'm worried what the others might think, but thankfully Balin supplies the response.

"Thrushes were used to communicate by the men of Dale, much like the ravens of Erebor. They usually collected along the western slope of the mountain. That also corresponds with the message in the margins with the hand pointing at the western spur." The hand in the margins had clearly pointed out the way to find the door. It is described as 'Five feet high the door and three may walk abreast.'

"And the gray stone?" I ask. I'm worried that we will miss something…

"It's another hint at the location. By describing the stone we know it must be greywacke on the upper slopes where we will find the door. That means we will need to look for stairs."

I look over the last part again, now more fearful, "And the rest of it? Does it mean we need to make it there before Durin's day?"

"Precisely," says Balin. A cold dread settles in my limbs as I try to calculate just how much time we have left.

"What's Durin's day?" asks Bilbo, curiously.

"It's the dwarvish New Year when the last sun of autumn and the first moon of winter meet in the sky," says Bofur.

"We only have a few months," grumbles Dwalin. My throat tightens as I realize the northern route would take too long. We wouldn't have enough time.

This seems to knock some sense into Thorin as he lurches back away from our little group. "Then let us waste no more time here. Douse the torches and the fireplace. All of you make ready. Master Baggins stay close to Dwalin. Ranger, where do we go?" he commands.

I'm frozen as I stare at the map. My mind cannot think much farther past the date the parchment indicates. We have to go through Mirkwood; there is no other way. We would only just make it with the Elven path…

"Ranger!" says Thorin sharply. I meet his intense blue eyes once more. He had been quiet and none of the others seem to have noticed our interaction just yet, but it gives me the moment I need to collect myself. I move towards my pack further in the room with Thorin following.

"There is a path behind the fountain at the bottom of the stairs," I notice Balin has now returned to our side and listens carefully. "We need to go one at time to lower the risk of being caught. Then wait for me and I will lead us the rest of the way."

"Why don't you go first?" asks Thorin with a low rumble.

"I just entered the room. I can't be the first to leave. Not to mention my eyes are not as good as yours I need a little more time," I offer. I quickly find myself useless anyway as I stand in front of my pack looking at it without even bothering to touch it.

Thorin looks like he's about to say something else, but Balin cuts in, "Sure thing, lad. Alright then laddies, let's line up here. Along the wall…" He drifts away to the others who move to follow his instruction. I hand the map back to Thorin without looking at him, my mind preoccupied with the thoughts of our new time limit. I didn't anticipate his hand enclosing around mine. I look up at him and find his eyes highlighted by the light of the moon behind him.

Blue eyes are the rarest of colors among the children of Imelkane – gold and brown being the most common. I know I'm fond of the color myself, but the look in them makes my heart skip for a moment. "What's the matter?" he whispers so the others can't hear.

"It's a personal matter…" I try.

"If it is going to affect our journey or my men then it is no longer personal," he growls.

Out of my peripheral I can see Nori is the first to slip out into the night. When my eyes meet back with Thorin's I tell him the truth.

"I…I promised I wouldn't set foot in those lands again," I whisper.

The slightly angry look in his eyes dissipates. "What lands?"

"The realm of the Elvenking," I confess. "I had been hoping to discuss a northern route with you, but now…"

"We would never make it in time for Durin's day…" he breathes in understanding.

"I know," I answer. I look away to see Fili and Kili scramble outside together. Those knuckleheads…they can't seem to listen to orders tonight. It brings a sad smile to my face.

"Then what will you do?" asks Thorin. I look at him once more and while he tries to remain neutral to whatever my decision may be, he is clearly anxious as his eyes shift across my face.

It hurts. It really hurts. I can feel the stinging pain in my chest as I have to choose between the dwarves that have become something like friends or Tauriel who is much like a sister to me. How can I possibly make this choice? Tauriel has been patient with me and understands my inner workings. She has never asked me for anything before today. Am I really ready to go against her one and only wish? I'm almost prepared to ask Thorin to let me stay. I'm sure it would ease his mind if I remained.

Then I picture them scattered amongst the dark and draining woods. They would go half mad from starvation or dehydration and the rest would be from the forest's magic. A more horrifying image draws itself from my mind. Rather than my own experience of waking from the magic with my sword through Gliwen's heart, it's Kili holding the sword and Fili bleeding out on it. My heart seizes in fear. I could clearly imagine the horror on Kili's face when he realized what he had done and Fili's eyes fluttering closed forever as he whispered his forgiveness on his last breath. The dwarves hadn't been to the forest realm in centuries; they are entirely unaware of the darkness and shadows that linger there.

Dwarves may be sturdier than humans, but I only made in as far as a few days would allow. With our troop making the whole trip it would take weeks to make it to the other side. Even they would be susceptible after that amount of time. Not only the dwarves, but the little hobbit as well. He is so much more pliant; he would easily give into the forest's magic. The image rears again using Thorin's eyes to create Fili's glazed look in my mind. It's too horrible and I look away. I can't let them go in there without help.

"Tahna," he whispers. I open my eyes again and I can feel my hand shaking in his. In a desperate attempt to calm myself I squeeze his hand to remind myself he's solid. "If you cannot do this I will not begrudge you. Unlike most men you do your best to honor your word. If this is-"

"I promised you first," I say, finally finding my voice. "I gave my word in my father's name to help you and your kin. I cannot…I can't break that oath either." My voice cracks near the end.

Thorin looks like he wants to say something else, but Bofur cuts in.

"Thorin, yer next," he says. Thorin looks back at me, unsure, but I give him a nod in hopes that it will appease him. He quietly makes his way to the doorway. After a quick look around outside he hurries out the door. Bofur turns to look at me as I shoulder my pack. "Ya alright?"

"I will be," I answer. I had to be. A quick look around tells me that we are the only ones left. I look at him and tell him, "Go. I'll be right behind you."

"Don't you need help to see?" he asks.

"I can make it to the stairs," I say. "Go on."

He nods to me before hurrying out after his king. I approach the balcony as well – the night time air chilling me, despite the summer heat. For a moment disgust overwhelms me. How could I do that to her? She's my best friend and I have forsaken her for a second time. While this does pain me, I know I could never live with myself if I let the dwarves enter the forest without me. If I stay safe as promised and one of the company were to die because me…I couldn't bear it.

At least if I break Tauriel's promise no one would have to die; maybe me, but that's hardly a loss. While acutely aware of the betrayal I would be committing against Tauriel, but it is a risk I am willing to take.

All at once I can feel bile rising in my throat and tears stinging my eyes. My mask almost seems to stifle me at the moment rather than the protection and comfort I am used to. I inhale and exhale a shaky breath as I try to right myself. I take off in a sprint down the stairs, bringing my nausea and heartache with me.

The dwarves are lined up the way they left, but wait along the stairs. I take the lead with Thorin right behind me. At first we seem to be doing quite well until…

"Of course I was going to tell you, I was waiting for this very chance. And really, I think you could trust that I know what I am doing," says Gandalf on the bridge above us. I throw up my hand to pause our advance.

"Do you? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if your plan should fail? If you wake that beast?" asks Lord Elrond. Damn elf…

I look down at the others and instruct them silently with Nezkish as they watch me carefully.

One at a time. Keep down the path when you come to a large hallway stop and make a left. There will be a small outcropping – wait there.

"But if we succeed... If the Dwarves take back the mountain, our defenses in the East will be strengthened," retorts the wizard. I usher dwarves through as the conversation continues.

"It is a dangerous move, Gandalf," advises the elf.

"It is also dangerous to do nothing. The throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright. What is it you fear?" asks the wizard reasonably.

"Have you forgotten? A strain of madness runs deep in that family. His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall? Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone…"

The elf continues, but I cannot hear them anymore. I look over at Thorin next to me and I can see that he had been listening the elf's words more than he should. His eyes are distant. He is fearful and doubtful…a dark wondering has wormed its way into his mind. With a tap on his shoulder I pull him out of his reverie.

Don't listen to him. I sign.

Thorin wears a haunted expression and responds. He is not wrong.

I do not know all of the horrors that haunt these sons of Durin; however, if this is one of them I don't think the elves should be considered experts. Perhaps, but there is something he is taking for granted.

Which is? He seems almost defeated.

He doesn't know you. I sign with ease. He looks at me assessing my words for a moment, but I am aware that we hardly have the time. So without permission I take his hand and lead him back to the others. I couldn't help noticing that he didn't pull away.

We make it back to the groves with no fuss as we sneak through the trees, the light of the moon lighting the path to act as our guide. There is a slight delay when Kili tries to jump to one of the lower branches for the same cherries I craved earlier. Luckily this is rectified when Dwalin snatches him by the collar and brings him back to the line of dwarves. Once through there we climb steps up a steep incline towards the rockier walls of the valley. Quickly the elven city is hidden behind the twist and turns we take to enter the pass. As it becomes harder to see Dwalin sticks closer to Bilbo and Thorin seems to pair up with me.

The gate is nothing more than a narrow portion of the path with two stone pillars. The gate itself has a few yards of visible space before you can reach it; meaning that we have to make sure we aren't spotted. I make sure we stop before anyone can enter the open. I try to look up and see, but it's hard for me to make out much more than the gate itself.

"Nori," I call quietly. The dwarf perks up and approaches me. "I can't see the gate. Tell me what you see."

He very carefully moves across me to lean up against the stone as far as possible and see what lies ahead. He stills as to not bring attention to himself should anything catch him moving. Then he slowly slides back to look at me.

"There are two guards, but it looks like they got into Madame Fryse's wine cupboard," he says mutedly. I have no idea who Madame Fryse is, but I will assume that means they have succumbed to the drought.

"The sleeping drought is in effect then," I think aloud. "Everyone move quietly and swiftly." I receive nods from the company as I usher them forward. The gentle clanking of their weapons, armor, and assortment of pans are the only sounds in the air. I watch the company members start up the stairs. Those that pass through the gate take an extra moment to look between the guards for any sign of waking. The dwarves maneuver the steps with ease, but Bilbo does have some trouble as he struggles to look ahead. Dwalin helps him through it though; it's almost funny when Bilbo nearly walks into the stone walls lining the path just beyond the gate.

I start up the gate myself with Bofur, Thorin, and Bifur behind me; I try my best, but without the pale stones to take in the small amount of light produced by the crescent moon I find myself struggling. When I make it to the gate after following Balin's white hair my eyes leave the path to look at Tauriel's cousin, sleeping peacefully against a pillar. Because of this I accidentally trip and catch myself with my hand, but a hand wraps around my waist to pick me back up.

"Careful now, lad," says Bofur with a smile. "I think I speak for all of us when I say we would prefer you intact when we reach the mountain."

It's enough to put on a weak smile underneath my mask. Bofur and Bifur pass me up to continue to follow the others. This leaves me with Thorin once more.

"You need not do this," says Thorin. "I would not force this upon you. It is clear that this choice is eating away at you. I would prefer not to cause you such pain. If we must we can continue on without you."

I realize that Thorin is offering me a way out once more; a chance to keep my promise to Tauriel. It is kind of him, but I cannot accept it. There is no choice; not for me.

"I can't. You have no idea what is in that forest. It is no longer the Greenwood of old, even some elves have left that forsaken place," I say with Hadrien in my mind, "I would protect you from the horrors within if I can. I shouldn't have made that promise in the first place."

A quiet moment passes between us before Thorin offers his hand out to me. At first I'm a little surprised, but when you think about it, it's not. Thorin has been kind and generous with me despite the lingering bitterness he felt over my secret. I cannot deny, however, that his offer to help me…pleases me somehow.

With one last look at the guard I take it and he helps me up the next few steps. Then as we are about to turn around the curve of the path I see something in my peripheral. Thorin pulls on my hand, but I hold back as my heart sinks into my stomach. I look back up at Thorin and withdraw my hand.

"I'll be right behind you, but I need a moment please," I ask.

Something in Thorin's face seems to harden somewhat, but nods his head in acquiescence. He continues up the path without me. Once he is out of sight I turn to look back down the slope. Already halfway up the stair is Tauriel and she closes the distance to hug me. I hold her tightly as I can feel her lips in my hair. She must not have been here long enough to hear what I had said to Thorin earlier.

"Be careful, Tahna," she murmurs. "I know that there is a dragon at the end of your path, but if anyone can defeat Smaug it will be you. Be sure to visit me when you are done, Thoronen. I would very much like to hear your tales of dragons and dwarves." She pulls back slightly with a bright smile on her face. Looking at her gleaming green eyes is so painful that I am forced to bury my face in her neck and drawing her close once more. I would tell her the truth now and apologize for breaking my promise, but I know she would not let me leave if I told her. My eyes burn from holding back tears and my throat is constricted.

"Don't feel like you have to rush," she says lovingly. "If you find the dwarves too precious to part with I won't pry you from them. Maybe I would come to visit you in Erebor. I could see the look on their faces even now." She slowly draws back placing one more kiss on my brow. "I have to leave. I can hear one of your dwarves returning for you. Na lû e-govaned vîn."

She silently turns and retreats down the path. It is only when she finally leaves my line of sight that the words fall off my tongue.

"Goheno nin, Tauriel," I whimper. I half hoped she heard me, but I know she's already gone. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, Elruin…"

"Didn't mean to what?"

I look up to see Fili along the path, standing where Thorin had only been a short while ago. I can't make out much of his face – mostly his hair and the beads of his mustache that stand out against the dark stone. As he moves closer though I can see the frown on his face.

"Kalar, you're crying," he states. Surprised, I moved my hands to feel the wetness on my cheeks. He watches me worriedly, but I try to shake it off.

"Don't worry, Fili. I'm fine," I say as I try to step towards him, but with my blurry eyes I end up tripping once more. This time Fili catches me before I can land face first on the unforgiving surface. When I look up at him I can see the worry in his eyes, but he slowly breaks into a small smile as he pulls me up. I put a hand on his shoulder for balance and he puts a hand on the small of my back. He measures his steps now to help me move along.

"It's alright, namadith," he says. "I've got you."

With Fili next to me it didn't make the guilt on my shoulders go away, but it did make my steps a little easier to take.

(My Horrible) Translations:

Thoronen = my eagle.*

Na lû e-govaned vîn = Until we meet again

Goheno nin =Forgive me

Elruin=Star Fire

namadith=little sister

*I about died when I saw the elvish word for eagle was Thoron. It's way too close to Thorin for me to not use it.

Next time: Tahna reflects on how far she's come…