TRAUMATIZED
Three months ago Heyes and Curry were once again being chased by a posse. It was a relentless posse formed out of Cody, Wyoming that had been hot on their heels for three days and four nights and the boys and their horses were on the verge of exhaustion. In a desperate attempt to evade capture, they had agreed to split up and meet in Tuscon a week later. But Kid Curry never showed up and Hannibal Heyes had spent the next three months scouring jails in every town, city and burro in a three hundred mile radius from where they had separated. Sheriff Lom Trevers had also been involved in the search, all to no avail.
Then on a Tuesday night in early July Heyes got a telegram from Trevers that simply read 'Meet me in Phoenix on Friday re: Jones. Stop' Heyes did not wait until morning to start out for Phoenix. He didn't sleep and arrived in Phoenix on Thursday afternoon. Friday morning he went to the train station and greeted every train that arrived. Trevers was on the four o'clock arrival from Cheyenne.
"What about the Kid?" Heyes asked urgently as soon as Lom stepped off the train.
"Do you have a hotel room?" Lom asked.
"Yes, and you do too. Now what about the Kid?"
"Lets go to the hotel. There's a lot to tell you."
"Just tell me if he's alive." Heyes demanded as they walked down the street to the hotel.
"Yes, he's alive," Trevers responded.
"Where is he?" Heyes asked as they walked into Heyes' hotel room.
"He's here in Phoenix," Lom said as he dropped his luggage on the bed..
Heyes sat down in the overstuffed leather chair.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Heyes asked.
Lom turned around and looked at Heyes. He sat down on the bed. "It's a long story, Heyes. And you've get to let me tell it my way."
Heyes leaned back in the chair and gave a sweeping gesture with his hand. "I'm ready."
"I got a telegram last Monday from the Sheriff of Phoenix. Last weekend a man was found along the side of the road about ten miles outside of town. He was badly beaten. There was a note pinned to his shirt that simply said "Kid Curry." He was so badly hurt that they took him to the hospital. He's there now, under guard. If he improves enough..."
"If?" Heyes asked
Lom nodded. "Yes, if... If he improves enough, he will be taken to the jail for extradition to Wyoming."
"How bad is he hurt?"
"Broken bones, collapsed lung, a skull fracture, there may be more injuries."
Heyes' eyes were wild with worry. "Is he conscious?"
"He is. But he hasn't spoken a word. He hasn't shown any awareness as to where he is, or even who he is."
"Is his brain damage?" Heyes asked hesitantly.
"They don't know. Could be psychological trauma."
"Tortured?"
"Heyes, they don't know yet. Kid can't or won't talk."
"We have to see him," Heyes said urgently.
"As I said, he's under guard. That means they likely expect Hannibal Heyes to show up."
"Lom, I have to see him."
Lom nodded. "But you need a disguise. They have a general description of you from the posters. And they know to be looking for you."
Heyes nodded his understanding.
"I brought things with me to disguise you. I also brought a Deputy badge to pass you off as one of my deputies."
Lom opened his satchel and handed a small bag to Heyes. "Get to work and we'll go over to the hospital this evening. I'm going to my room to unpack. Then I'm going to pay the Sheriff a visit. Come to my room in two hours and we'll go over to the hospital."
Heyes nodded his understanding. When Lom left, Heyes set to work on his disguise.
Two hours later Heyes knocked on Lom's door.
"It's open," Lom called from inside.
Heyes walked in. He was dressed in his brown suit and bore a large, fake goatee. His long sideburns were powdered gray. He wore wire frame glasses low on his nose. On his lapel was a Wyoming Deputy badge.
Lom looked at Heyes and approved the disguise.
"I just hope Kid recognizes me though all these props," Heyes said.
"I spoke with Sheriff Murtree. I explained to him that I have a friend, Thaddeus Jones who bears an apparently striking resemblance to Kid Curry and is often mistaken for the outlaw. I said that might explain the note pinned to his shirt, you know, someone thought he was Kid Curry. I told him Mr. Jones left Porterville two months ago on a cattle buying trip to Texas and I have not heard from him in all that time, which is unusual. And I told him I would try to verify if this man is Mr. Jones. I thought it best to try to plant a seed of doubt."
Heyes nodded. "That's a good idea... Now, are we ready?"
The hospital was a two story brick building at the edge of town. They entered the hospital, were greeted by a receptionist, and directed to Mr. Curry's room. Two deputies stood guard outside the room. Heyes felt very nervous as Lom spoke to the deputies and introduced Heyes as Deputy Joshua Smith. Heyes nodded acknowledgment and the deputies let them go into the room.
Kid was lying on his side, his knees drawn up, his eyes closed. His face was badly bruised and swollen. Two blankets covered him feet to neck. One bandaged hand protruded from the edge of the blankets. A thick, heavy beard covered his face
Heyes gasped and looked at Lom, his eyes filled with fear.
Lom approached the bed. "Thaddeus?" he asked quietly.
There was no response. "Thaddeus?" Lom tried again.
Still no response.
Heyes approached the the bed. "Let me try," he said and Lom moved away from the bed.
Heyes stooped down to eye level. "Kid," he said softly. "It's me, Heyes."
No response.
"If you can hear me, open your eyes, Kid."
No response,
Heyes rubbed his own eyes hard, then brought his hand down over his nose and mouth before letting it fall to his side. He looked at Lom and then turned back to Kid.
"Kid, you've got to let me know you can hear me. It's Heyes. I've come to help. If you can hear me, open your eyes.
Several seconds passed. Heyes looked at Lom with desperation. Suddenly from the corner of his eye he saw the slightest of movement, a flutter of Kid's eyes. Heyes smiled excitedly. "That's right, Kid. Open your eyes. It's Heyes."
Ever so slowly Kid's eyelids opened, but his gaze was blank. His flat expression didn't change. His eyes closed again.
Heyes took hold of Kid's bandaged hand. It was limp. "We're going to help you, Kid. We'll make things better. We'll get you out of here. Hear me?"
No response.
Heyes and Lom left the room and told the guards they were not able to determine the identity of the patient but would return in the morning to try again. They headed back into town, stopping at the saloon across the street from their hotel. They ordered beers and sat at a small, fairly secluded table near the back of the saloon.
A look of distraught never left Heyes face.
"What could possibly have happened to him?" Lom thought aloud.
"Something unbelievably traumatic... Indians?" Heyes asked
"Indians wouldn't have pinned a note on his shirt," Lom replied.
"Who ever did this, Lom... I'm going to kill him. I don't give a damn about the amnesty. I'm going to kill him."
Lom didn't argue. Heyes was entitled to feel that way, at least for now. He would think it through and rationalize later. But for now, Heyes had to vent his anger.
"What if he doesn't come out of this?" Heyes asked
"He will," Lom replied.
"How can you be so sure?"
"He recognized you. They said he hasn't shown the slightest bit of recognition. But it took less than two minutes for him to recognize you."
Heyes smiled nervously, feeling a tad bit of hope."
They returned to the hospital early the next morning and the receptionist directed them to Dr. Murphy's office where they sat in chairs in front of Dr. Murphy's desk. Dr. Murphy sat behind his desk. Kid's records lay open on the desk.
"I believe the physical wounds will all heal with time," Dr. Murphy began. "I am much more concerned with the psychological wounds."
"Psychological wounds?" Heyes asked.
Dr. Murphy sighed. "This man has obviously been through some extreme psychological trauma of a torturous nature judging by his wounds. The kind of trauma one sometimes sees in soldiers who experience or witness brutal events, the kind of things most of us could not even imagine. It causes a person to withdraw into themselves, sometimes so far into themselves that there's no pulling them back. They spend the rest of their lives battling these memories.
"What can be done?" Lom asked.
"Psychology is still a pretty blank canvass as far as medical treatment. There are a few drugs, not many, that are sometimes helpful. But medically, we just don't have a sound understanding of how the brain functions."
"You're saying there's nothing we can do?" Heyes asked
"Support him. When he's well enough, get him to a place that is familiar to him, a place where he has always felt safe. For now, spend as much time with him as you can. Talk to him in the same manner you always have. Remind him of good things, important people that are a part of his life. Don't push him to remember the trauma. Don't try to prod him into telling you what caused this. He'll tell you that if and when he is ever ready to do so."
"That's it?" Heyes asked.
Dr. Murphy looked directly at Heyes. "That's it, for now. If he starts to improve, there may be other things we can do, medication we can give him. But in the week that he's been here, we've seen no sign of improvement."
"We visited him last night. I think he recognized me," Heyes said.
"I hope he did. But when a person is in his condition, it's is sometimes easy for family or close friends to see some hint of improvement that isn't really there. Work with him, but don't get your hopes too high."
Heyes nodded his understanding but felt determined to prove the doctor wrong.
Heyes and Lom went upstairs to Kid's room. The guards let them inside. Kid was lying on his back, still asleep.
"I'm camping out in this room, Lom. From sun up to sun down. Every day," Heyes said emphatically.
Lom nodded. "That's probably the only thing, as well as the best thing you can do for him. I'm going to go talk to Sheriff Murtree again this morning. Keep him updated and let him know what you're doing and why"
Heyes nodded and pulled a chair up next to Kid's bed and sat down.
"I'll bring you some coffee when I come back,"
"Thanks, Lom,"
An hour later a nurse brought in a breakfast tray of porridge and coffee.
"I'll feed him," Heyes said as he took the tray from the nurse.
"He won't chew," the nurse explained. "But if you can get soft things or liquids in his mouth, he will swallow."
Heyes smiled at the nurse. She was young, blonde, pretty, with a soft, sweet voice. Someone Kid would find attractive, Heyes thought.
The nurse picked up two pillows that were lying at the foot of the bed. "If you'll help me, we'll prop him up to eat," she said.
Heyes set the tray of food on the dresser and helped the nurse position Kid for breakfast. Then the nurse hurried out of the room to tend to other patients.
"Morning, Kid," Heyes said cheerfully. "I've got your breakfast. You hungry?" "Open your eyes so I know you're awake."
No response.
Heyes didn't let that stop him. He possessed a silver tongue and he planned to use it. He brought the tray of food over and set it on the chair. Then he sat on the side of the bed and picked up the bowl of porridge and the spoon.
"Kid, it's me, Heyes. Open your eyes," he said firmly.
Kid's eyes fluttered. Heyes smiled at the tiny victory. He brought a spoonful of the porridge to Kid's mouth and pressed the spoon gently against Kid's lips. Kid's lips parted enough for Heyes to slide the spoon into Kid's mouth. Another small victory.
It took the better part of an hour but Kid ate all the porridge and drank all of the now lukewarm coffee.
The nurse returned for the tray. "That's more breakfast than he's eaten since he's been here," she said and Heyes smiled triumphantly.
"He hasn't spoken at all?" Heyes asked.
The nurse shook her head. "He doesn't even moan when we turn him. And with broken ribs, it has to hurt him. But not a sound."
"Someone just found him along a road?" Heyes asked.
" Yes. They say he is Kid Curry. Is he?"
"No," Heyes laughed. "His name is Thaddeus Jones. We've been friends since we were kids," Heyes explained.
"I didn't think so. He doesn't look like an outlaw."
Heyes smiled. "You've met a lot of outlaws, have you?" Heyes teased.
The nurse laughed. "No. He just looks too nice to be an outlaw, I think it's the eyes. They are so clear, almost...pure. You know what I mean""
"I do," Heyes replied. "And you're right, he's too nice to be an outlaw."
The nurse smiled. "If you need anything, just holler," she said and took the tray out of the room.
Lom returned with coffee around eleven.
"Anything?" Lom asked.
"Yeah. I do think he knows I'm here," Heyes said, sipping the coffee. "You learn anything?" he asked.
"I told the Sheriff that we're pretty convinced he is our friend Thaddeus, but that it's really too early to tell for sure. He said it was fine that you stay in the room with him all day since you're a deputy."
"You know, I've been thinking," Heyes began. "If they insist that he's Kid Curry, would the governor let you and me take him back to Wyoming?"
"He might, but I would have one condition to our doing that."
"What's the condition."
"I'm a sheriff. If he returns to Wyoming as Kid Curry, you have to promise me you won't try to escape with him. "If he goes back to Wyoming as Kid Curry, he goes directly into my jail. There's no other option."
Heyes looked at Kid lying motionless except for the rise and fall of his chest. Heyes nodded reluctantly. "Agreed," he said sadly.
"I'm going to have to go back to Porterville in a couple of days. There's a trial I have to testify at. I'll come back in about a week. During the time I am gone, the Sheriff says you can be in here with him every day.
For the next several days Heyes spent every daylight hour in Kid's room, talking to Kid incessantly. He told Kid about the nurses that came in, about Lom returning to Porterville, about a poker win or loss he'd had the previous night. He reminisced about their childhood, focusing only of the fun and good times they had, never mentioning the tragedies of the war. He commanded Kid to open his eyes or open his mouth. He chattered on relentlessly day in and day out and took great satisfaction in every minute victory. He felt great hope on Friday afternoon when two nurses came into the room to reposition Kid and Kid moaned when they moved him on to his side.
But he was unprepared when he walked into the room on Saturday morning and found Kid awake and looking directly at him. The smile that spread across Heyes' face was one of utter amazement and joy. He walked directly over to Kid and sat down on the bed.
"Welcome back," Heyes said.
Kid didn't speak. He didn't move and Heyes quickly realized this was not the major victory he had been waiting for. But Kid did continue to keep focused eyes on him. And Heyes watched those eyes slowly fill with tears that began to stream down Kid's cheeks.
"You're going to be alright, Kid. I'm here and I'm not leaving. Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you. Not now. Not ever again."
Kid blinked. His lips parted but he couldn't speak. Heyes picked up a corner of the sheet and gently dried the tears from Kid's cheeks.
The pretty nurse walked in with the breakfast tray. She saw Kid's eyes open and wet with tears. She quickly set the tray down. "I'll get the doctor," she said.
"No, not yet," Heyes said, "Just leave, please." The nurse quickly exited the room.
"Kid, we're going to get you through this. Whatever it is, we're going to get you through it," Heyes promised.
Kid's mouth closed and his eyes gradually grew distant again before closing.
Heyes sat dumbfounded, not knowing what to do next. He felt confident that Kid really was in there somewhere. But he had no idea how to draw him out any further. He felt helpless.
A few minutes later the doctor and nurse walked into the room. Heyes was sitting on the edge of the bed spooning porridge into Kid's mouth.
"He was awake?" Dr. Murphy asked
Heyes nodded. "For a few moments. Not long. But he recognized me. I'm certain of that."
The nurse confirmed that. "He was crying," she told Dr. Murphy.
"I don't know what you're doing son," the doctor said to Heyes. "But by all means, keep doing it."
"I will," Heyes said, his voice cracking.
"I was growing very worried. The longer he went without responding, the less likely he would ever respond."
"He's been responding to me ever since I got here," Heyes said. " Not big things, not like this, but enough that I knew he would come around sometime," Heyes said and instructed Kid to open his mouth for another bite.
Kid complied.
"Mr. Smith is right," the nurse said. "Mr. Jones..."
"Jones?" Dr. Murphy asked.
Heyes smiled. "That's right. His name is Thaddeus Jones. We've been friends since we were kids. I'm that one familiar force in his life right now."
"I'm going to tell the guards that you can stay day and night, Mr. Smith. Whatever you're willing to do."
"I'll do anything for Thaddeus," Heyes said. "He's like a brother to me."
There was not another sentinel event all day. Heyes fed Kid his lunch and supper, all soft foods that he could swallow without chewing. Lom stopped by in the late afternoon but didn't stay long. He was tired from the train ride. In the evening the nurses brought in a cot, a pillow and blankets for Heyes and he set the cot up right next to Kid's bed. Heyes slept more soundly on that cot than he had all week on the soft hotel bed.
When Heyes woke the next morning, Kid's open eyes were again tearful and looking directly at him. Heyes threw his legs over the side of the cot and sat up, facing Kid. Heyes rubbed his own eyes and said good morning, ignoring Kid's tears. "You sleep well?" Heyes asked.
There was no response.
"I say, did you sleep well, Kid?" Heyes asked again.
Kid uttered a low, guttural "Uh-uh." and Heyes smiled brightly.
"You hungry?" Heyes asked.
"Thirsty" Kid whispered, his voice barely audible.
Heyes' eyes widened, though he tried to suppress his surprise. He got up and poured a glass of water. He lifted Kid's head and brought the glass to Kid's lips.
The nurse walked in with the tray of oatmeal.
"Would it be too much trouble to get some pancakes?" Heyes asked.
"Pancakes?" the nurse asked, surprised at the request.
"I believe Mr. Jones would like something a bit more solid, wouldn't you Mr. Jones?"
Kid slowly nodded his head.
"I'll be right back," the nurse said and hurried out of the room. She almost bumped right in to Dr. Murphy. "He really is responding. He wants pancakes," she said excitedly.
"How's our patient today?" Dr. Murphy asked as he walked into the room.
"Much better today, aren't you Mr. Jones?" Heyes replied.
Dr. Murphy looked at Kid, waiting for a reply.
Kid's eyes slowly moved from Heyes to the doctor and he nodded slightly. "Pancakes," he whispered.
"Then pancakes it is," Dr. Murphy said. "I'll come back later this morning for a thorough examination. I'm very glad you're feeling better Mr. Jones."
The nurse returned with coffee and a plate of buttered pancakes covered in syrup.
Heyes took the tray. "Thank you. I'll take it from here." Heyes said.
Kid ate about half of the pancakes, chewing each bite. He drank most of the coffee before drifting back into his quiet recession.
When the doctor returned, Kid was fast asleep. The doctor lifted each eyelid and examined Kid's pupils. He listened to Kid's heart and lungs, but there was little else he could test for while Kid slept.
"Two mornings in a row," Heyes said. "That has to be a good sign."
"It is," the doctor agreed. "The goal now is to get those periods lengthened or to occur more than once a day."
"We will," Heyes said confidently. "At what point will Mr. Jones be able to leave the hospital?" Heyes asked.
"He's still quite a ways away from that Mr. Smith. He'll determine the criteria for discharge. Let's see how much more improvement we get over the next few days and make sure we're not going to get any setbacks. The next time he is awake, see if he can tell you his name, or your name. Something to confirm recognition.
Heyes nodded his understanding.
Lom came in after lunch. Kid had slept through lunch.
"Is it alright to talk in here?" Lom asked
Heyes shrugged. "Kid's asleep, so I think so."
"You said you and Kid split up three months ago," Lom said
"That's right. We were trying to outrun a posse."
"Where did Kid go?"
"I don't know. Why?" Heyes asked.
Where were you when you split up?"
"Maybe fifty miles south of Cody." Heyes replied
"What direction did Kid go?"
"Ah, west, maybe northwest."
"Did he head into the Yellowstone?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
Lom sighed heavily
"Why is that so important?"
"Sheriff Murtree told me about a gang staked out in the Yellowstone."
"A gang?" Heyes asked
"Not like the Devil's Hole gang. This gang's comprised of renegade Indians, hard core, non-traditional soldiers."
"What do you mean by non-traditional?"
"The kind of soldier that is unwilling or unable to meld back into a peaceful life. The kind that enjoy the hazards of war and wants to continue living that way."
So what about this gang?"
"Murtree says the government is planning to send troops in to the Yellowstone to eradicate this group."
"Because?"
"Because of their brutality toward civilians. They take people in as captives, use them as forced labor, subject them to the harshest brutalities. Inflict both physical and psychological tortures."
"You think Kid was a victim of that?"
"It would explain a lot."
Heyes was shocked, dumbfounded, and irate all at the same time. He looked over at Kid sleeping and wondered if he would ever see the Kid he knew again."
"So what do we do?" Heyes asked.
"We leave that up to the army. I told you this so you would have some understanding of what Kid's trying to work through, to cope with. They do abhorrent things just for their own amusement. Murtree said the Army has instructions to take no prisoners. Whoever is there when the Army storms in will die, regardless of whether they are part of the gang or simply a captive."
Heyes nodded even though he felt like this was too much to absorb.
"Kid's lucky he got out," Lom said.
"Yeah, maybe," Heyes replied. "He has to live with this..."
Kid's progress over the next several days was slow, but steady, but was only seen by Heyes. Whenever anyone else was in the room, Kid mentally retreated. He spoke to no one but Heyes and then no more than a word or two at a time. When the doctor, a nurse, or even Lom came in the room, he closed his eyes and turned away. And every morning Heyes witnessed the steady stream of tears that rolled down Kid's cheeks.
Dr. Murphy was of the opinion that the tears were a release from a night of relentless nightmares, of reliving whatever trauma he had sustained. Heyes had to agree.
They had entered the third week of Kid's hospitalization. Each morning, Heyes ignored the tears and carried on a typical but one-sided conversation. He was speaking to Kid, but he often answered himself. This morning, when Kid opened his eyes, Heyes was just finishing up shaving. He saw through the mirror that Kid was awake.
"Kid, that beard of yours almost reaches your chest. Would you like a shave? I'll leave a mustache if you want. I know you like them."
Kid didn't respond.
Heyes cleaned his razor and emptied and cleaned the shaving bowl. Then he poured clean water into the bowl and brought the bowl, the razor, and the shaving cup over to the chair beside the bed. He carefully stirred the cup, creating a fresh lather and began applying it to Kid's beard. But as he raised the razor toward Kid's face, Kid grabbed Heyes' wrist and held it with all his might. Heyes thought Kid might even break his wrist.
Heyes looked directly into Kid's eyes. "Kid, it's me, Heyes. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just shaving the beard."
Kid held his grip for another minute and Heyes held the eye contact until Kid processed what Heyes had said. Slowly he released his grip and let his hand drop back down on the sheet. Kid stared at Heyes the entire time Heyes shaved the beard from Kid's face.
"You want a mustache?" Heyes asked when he was almost finished.
"No," Kid said softly. Heyes shaved Kid's upper lip.
The nurse came in with the breakfast tray. "Oh my, you're quite handsome underneath that beard," she said and smiled.
Heyes held a hand mirror out to Kid. "You want to see?" he asked.
Kid did not react.
Heyes set the hand mirror on the bed and took the tray from the nurse and thanked her.
"Kid, I think you are up to doing this yourself now," Heyes said and placed the tray in Kid's lap. He unwrapped the fork from the napkin and held it out for Kid who looked at the fork, then looked at Heyes, and then slowly reached his hand out for the fork.
Heyes smiled. "That's it. Now after you eat, maybe you'd like to get dressed for a change. I'm going to go get some coffee. I'll be right back.
Heyes was gone no more than ten minutes. When he returned, Kid's plate and coffee cup were empty. Heyes smiled. "I'm proud of you, Kid."
For the first time since he arrived in Phoenix, Heyes saw the hint of a smile on Kid's face. "It was good," Kid said in a stronger voice than Heyes was used to hearing.
So, you want to get dressed?"
Kid nodded. "Yeah," he said.
Heyes retrieved Kid's clothes from the closet. "You need help or can you do it?"
Kid didn't reply so Heyes set to work helping Kid get dressed.
The nurse that had brought breakfast came in to pick up the tray.
"I can't get over how different he looks without that beard," she said.
"He fed himself breakfast."
"That's wonderful! You have made such tremendous progress with him. He's very lucky to have you as a friend," she said
"Well, he's always been there for me. It's just my turn right now."
When the nurse left the room, Kid picked up the hand mirror and looked at his newly shaven face..
"I look like me again."
"That's the first full sentence you've said to me," Heyes replied.
"Yeah... I guess it is."
"Kid, I think you're starting to come around."
There was a knock at the door. Heyes waited for Kid to tell the person to come in, but Kid remained silent so Heyes said it.
I was told that you are having a very good morning," Dr. Murphy said as he entered the room.
Kid looked at him but said nothing.
"This is Dr. Murphy. Do you remember him?" Heyes asked, being careful not to refer to his friend as Kid."
Kid looked at Heyes. "I remember."
"It's okay to talk directly to Dr. Murphy," Heyes coaxed.
Kid looked at Dr. Murphy. "I remember," he said.
Dr. Murphy smiled. "It's alright to talk to all the hospital staff. In fact it's alright to talk to anyone you want to talk to. You don't have to wait for permission."
"Alright," Kid replied.
"Would you tell me your name?" Dr. Murphy asked.
Heyes felt a sudden panic. They had not discussed the importance of sticking to their aliases.
Kid hesitated but didn't look at Heyes for help or approval. "Jones... Thaddeus."
"And what is your friend's name?"
"Joshua Smith."
"Do you know where you are?" Dr. Murphy asked
Kid shrugged slightly. "A hospital. I don't remember where."
"You're in Phoenix, Arizona," Dr. Murphy explained.
Dr. Murphy looked at Heyes and smiled. "Remarkable," he said.
"Yeah," Heyes replied. "He is."
"I was talking about you, Mr. Smith," Dr. Murphy said.
"I know. But I'm talking about him."
The doctor smiled. "I'll stop in again tomorrow," Dr. Murphy said and left the room.
"Okay, you fed yourself, you're dressed... are you ready for a little poker?"
Kid actually smiled. "Yeah, I am."
"I'll go hunt down a deck of cards."
They played poker for over an hour. Kid lost every hand but enjoyed the entertainment.
Lom stopped in about two-thirty on his way to catch the four o'clock train back to Porterville.
"Dr. Murphy and I have convinced Sheriff Murtree that you are Thaddeus Jones. Stick to that name," Lom told Kid before turning his attention to Heyes. "He's pulled his deputies off the guard watch and you and Thaddeus are free to go whenever Dr. Murphy feels the Kid is ready. When that happens, you and Kid get out of Phoenix, and out of Arizona as quickly as possible."
Heyes nodded his head. "We'll probably come to Porterville just to touch base one more time."
"Fine," Lom said. "I'll see you when you get there."
"Lom," Heyes said. "You've been a good friend to both of us. Thank you."
Lom looked at Heyes and Curry and smiled. Then he left to catch his train.
When supper arrived, Heyes told Kid he had an errand to run but promised to return quickly. Heyes then walked down to the saloon and bought a bottle of whiskey and convinced the bartender to sell him two shot glasses as well. He hid the bottle inside his shirt and the shot glasses in his pockets and returned to the hospital. Once back in Kid's room, Heyes hid the whiskey and shot glasses in a dresser drawer. Around eight-thirty he went out and told the nurses that Mr. Jones was retiring for the night and he thought it best that Mr. Jones not be disturbed. Then he returned to the room and brought out the whiskey and the glasses. Kid was not taking any medications as yet, so Heyes thought it was safe to imbibe a bit. He pulled the bottle from the dresser drawer and held it up for Kid to see. Kid smiled as Heyes poured them each a drink.
Over the next couple of hours, they each had a total of three shots. They did not get drunk, but the whiskey did have the effect on Kid that Heyes had hoped for. He was relaxed and less guarded.
"So, Kid, which direction did you go when we split up?"
"West, toward the Tetons. How about you?"
"I thought about going north into Canada, but decided to just head for a warmer climate.." Heyes replied, but was thinking about how close the Tetons are to the Yellowstone area.
So," Heyes said hesitantly, "are you willing to talk about it?"
Kid downed a half shot of whiskey in one gulp. "No, but I suppose I owe you something for all you've done."
"You don't owe me anything, Kid, and I don't want to force you into anything you're not ready for."
"There are things I won't ever talk about, Heyes. Not even to you," his mood growing dark.
Heyes nodded his understanding and remained silent.
"About three nights after we split up, I was camped out, sound asleep when I was jolted awake by a swift and hard boot kick in the stomach. Next thing I knew six men were beating on me. I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I was riding belly down on a saddle. Hands tied, feet tied, and then another rope looping the hands and feet and running under the horse's belly to keep me from sliding off. We ended up at a huge hideout in the Yellowstone. Maybe two hundred members of the gang and fifty or more prisoners..
"What's the gang's purpose?"
Kid was silent for some time and his eyes grew distant. "All I saw was torture...killing."
Heyes leaned forward in his chair and filled Kid's shot glass. Kid downed it in one gulp.
"I think they just picked people at random. But the person they chose wasn't the one they physically hurt. They'd pick a friend, a spouse, even a child. Sometimes they'd just make you watch what they did to that other person...hurt them or even kill them in horrible ways" Kid's chin began to quiver. "Sometimes they'd try to force you to do it..." Kid's voice trailed off and his eyes filled with tears again.
Heyes wished he hadn't initiated the conversation. Kid looked broken.
"You don't have to go on," Heyes said.
Kid slowly turned to look at Heyes. His voice halted when he spoke. "How do I live with that?... I don't know how to live with that."
Heyes got up and walked over to Kid and put an arm around Kid's shoulders. Kid buried his face in Heyes' shirt and sobbed. Heyes silently cursed himself for prodding Kid into talking about it.
When Kid had sobbed himself into exhaustion, Heyes helped him into his bed. He put the whiskey bottle and shot glasses back in the dresser drawer and blew out the light. He laid down on his cot and stared at the ceiling. He felt miserable, disloyal, and self-centered and wondered if he was pushing Kid just for his own sense of triumph. He prayed that he hadn't sent Kid into a downward spiral.
They both slept until after eight in the morning. Heyes woke first when the nurse entered the room with two breakfast trays. "I brought one for you, too," she explained to Heyes.
Heyes thanked her and she set the trays on the dresser. Then she left. Heyes picked up his breakfast tray and started with the coffee. By the time Kid woke, Heyes had finished his meal.
"Good morning," Heyes said
"It's morning?" Kid asked groggily.
"You want some breakfast?"
"Smells good," Kid replied and pulled himself up to a sitting position and leaned against the back of the bed.
"Bacon and eggs, toast and coffee," Heyes said and brought the tray over to Kid and set it in his lap.
Kid picked up the fork and began eating.
It was then that Heyes realized there were no tears. He smiled with relief when he realized their conversation the previous evening must have been cathartic for Kid.
"What are you smiling about?" Kid asked.
"Just that you seem better this morning. I was a little worried after our conversation last night."
"Heyes... we've got to do something about that gang."
Heyes shook his head. "Lom says the army is taking care of that. It won't be pretty, but it will be over."
"I wish I could help them, the army I mean."
"The way Lom explained it, I don't think the army will be in need of our help."
Kid nodded his head, satisfied with Heye's response.
"So, what can we do to get me out of here?" Kid asked.
"You have to start talking to the doctor and the nurses the way you talk to me. They have to know that you're better, or at least getting better, so they'll know you're ready to be discharged.
Kid nodded and sighed heavily. "I'll try," he promised. "You know Heyes," Kid said hesitantly. "It's hard to trust them. It's hard to trust anyone but you."
"That's how it has always been with us, Kid. Only trust each other. But we can't just shut everyone else out. We have to trust other people, at least a little. This doctor and these nurses are trying to help you heal."
"I'll try," Kid said again.
"You know, Kid, I just can't figure out how you got from the Yellowstone all the way to Phoenix. And if that gang brought you here, why did they travel so far? And why the note?"
"What note?"
"The Sheriff said you had a note pinned to your shirt saying you was Kid Curry."
Kid looked perplexed. He remembered none of what Heyes was telling him.
"Maybe some kind of sadistic...honor or respect for who you are?"
"No, Heyes... they didn't respect nothing." Kid was silent for a moment as he garnered the strength to speak. "Heyes... I saw things...worse than Bloody Kansas...worse than what we went through."
Deep creases formed on Heyes' forehead. "Ah, Kid... I'm sorry."
Kid's chin quivered, but there were no tears.
"I know you said the army is taking care of that gang, but when I get out of here, Heyes... I gotta know they did... I gotta know, Heyes.
Heyes nodded but made Kid no promise.
Later in the morning the doctor came in.
"Remember what I told you, Thaddeus," Heyes said and Kid nodded.
"So how are you doing this morning?" the doctor asked.
Kid glanced at Heyes, then back to the doctor. "Better. When can I go?"
The doctor chuckled. "I don't think you're quite ready for that yet, Mr. Jones. Tell me your friend's name."
"Joshua Smith."
"Are you up for an examination?"
Kid nodded so the doctor approached the bed and began a thorough examination of Kid's eyes, speech, reflexes, hand grip strength, physical injuries, balance and was pleased with all the results.
"I'd like to have Dr. Carrington see you."
"Who's he?"
"He's our psychiatrist. He may be able to help you sort though your experience... Help you better deal with the things you witnessed, the things they did to you and to others."
Kid looked at Heyes. He didn't want to see Dr. Carrington. But Heyes nodded his head to Kid which forced Kid to look away. Kid stared at the wall, but ever so slowly nodded his head.
"Good. I'll let him know you're ready to speak with him."
"Then can I go?" Kid asked.
"Physically, I'd say you're ready. I'll leave it to Dr. Carrington to say when he believes you're fully ready."
Kid chewed on his lower lip and avoided looking at the doctor or his partner.
Late in the afternoon, Dr. Carrington knocked on the door. Heyes had gone out for coffee so Kid found himself alone with the psychiatrist.
"Mr. Jones, I'm Dr. Carrington. Do you feel up to a conversation?"
Kid wanted to say no, but he knew Dr. Carrington was his ticket out of the hospital.
"Alright."
Dr. Carrington moved a chair up next to the bed and sat down. " I understand you've been through a great deal of trauma recently. I want to help you sort through that, help you find some perspective."
Kid looked at him skeptically but nodded and Dr. Carrington smiled comfortingly.
Heyes returned with his coffee, but a nurse intercepted him and told him the psychiatrist was in talking with Thaddeus. So Heyes waited outside the room, pacing the hallway for the better part of an hour. When Dr. Carrington emerged, the two men nearly collided.
"You must be Mr. Smith?" Dr. Carrington said.
Heyes nodded. "So how is Mr. Jones?"
"Quite troubled, I'm afraid. But I think he'll be able to work through it."
"How long will that take?"
"I understand you are both anxious for discharge and I promise I will release Mr. Jones as soon as I think he has the proper coping skills. He'll likely need therapy for some time, but much of that can be accomplished outside the hospital setting... I understand you and Mr. Jones have been friends since childhood?"
Heyes nodded.
"Perhaps tomorrow you and I could have a conversation. The better my understanding of Mr. Jones, the more effectively I can help him."
So Heyes met with Dr. Carrington the next morning and provided as much information about Kid as he could safely relate. Dr. Carrington continued to work with Kid on a daily basis and most evenings, Kid told Heyes what had transpired in his conversations with the psychiatrist. Although he continued to be unwilling to tell Heyes of the atrocities he had witnessed or experienced, Kid did grow more comfortable talking to Dr. Carrington about them.
By the middle of Kid's fifth week of hospitalization, Dr. Carrington informed Kid that he could be discharged, but he cautioned Kid to continue to see him or, if Kid planned on leaving the Phoenix area, another psychiatrist on a regular basis. Kid agreed but decided not to tell Heyes of the Doctor's recommendation.
"I can get out tomorrow" Kid said excitedly to his partner when Heyes returned to the room after Dr. Carrington's visit.
"Doctor thinks you're ready?"
Kid nodded.
"You need to keep seeing Dr. Carrington for a while?"
Kid shook his head. It wasn't exactly a lie. Dr. Carrington had told him he could see another psychiatrist.
"I told Lom we would head to Porterville when you get out."
"What about the Yellowstone?" Kid asked.
"I'll wire Lom tonight. He'll be able to tell us. If we need to, we can head to the Yellowstone after Porterville," Heyes reassured Kid, but hoped that would not be necessary.
So the next morning Kid was discharged and stepped out into the fresh air and warm sunlight for the first time in over a month. He closed his eyes, tilted his head skyward, and took a slow, deep breath. When he lowered his head and opened his eyes, he saw Heyes watching him with wide smile on his face.
"What?" Kid asked.
"Just good to have you back, Kid."
Kid smiled at his partner. "Yea," he replied.
"I thought we'd stay here in Phoenix tonight, buy you a horse and tack, have a good meal for a change, and start out in the morning."
"Sounds fine, Heyes. I ain't got no money, you know?"
"Well, maybe we can remedy that with some poker tonight."
"My poker record ain't been good recently. Ain't beat you even once."
"Well than, maybe I can remedy the money situation tonight," Heyes replied with a grin.
They walked to the hotel so Kid could drop off the few personal items he was carrying in a paper bag and then headed to the livery to purchase a horse and necessary supplies. Next they headed to the mercantile as Kid needed a new gun and holster as well as a box of bullets and two cents worth of peppermints that Kid quickly devoured. They had supper in the hotel dining room and spent the evening at a nearby saloon where Heyes made enough money to offset his purchases and supply Kid with some much needed pocket money.
The following morning, they set off for Porterville which took them almost a week to reach as Heyes did not want to push Kid too hard. Heyes discovered the first night out that, much as Kid had wanted it, being discharged evoked some insecurities and Kid had restless nights with vivid and troubling dreams and, though he slept, he thrashed about much of the night. Every morning when Heyes asked, Kid reported no memory of the dreams.
"The gang in the Yellowstone has been eradicated," Lom reported soon after Heyes and Curry arrived. "They'll never be a threat to anyone again."
'Well, Kid, I guess there's no need to head into the Yellowstone now," Heyes said to his partner.
"Guess not," Kid replied.
"You look a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you, Kid," Lom said.
Kid nodded but didn't reply and Lom looked at Heyes.
Doc says it'll take a little time to get back to a hundred percent," Heyes told Lom.
"So, where are you headed from here?"
"We haven't really talked about it yet," Heyes said and looked at Kid. "I was thinking maybe Denver, or San Francisco. Maybe visit some old friends. Would you like that, Kid?" Heyes didn't add that his motivation was to get to a city where psychiatric help might be available.
"Sure," Kid responded.
"Well, why don't you two stay at my place for a couple of nights?" Lom suggested.
"Alright with you, Kid?"
Kid nodded.
"You two can go on out there and get settled and meet me back here around six and we'll get some supper."
They rode out to Lom's and got settled in. Then Kid went out and sat on the porch while Heyes thumbed through the bookshelf looking for something to read. He found a book, but as he walked across the room to a chair, He glanced out and saw Kid just gazing out into the mountains before him. Heyes walked outside with his book and sat in the chair next to Kid.
"Something troubling you?" Heyes asked.
Kid sighed heavily. "I know the gang has been taken care of... I just can't get … pictures of things out of my head... and yea, it's troubling."
"Did Dr. Carrington recommend you find a psychiatrist when you settle somewhere?"
While Kid hadn't told Heyes of the recommendation, he also was determined not to lie to his partner. He shook his head.
"Well, Kid, Denver is closer than San Francisco, so why don't we head to Denver from here?"
Kid nodded his head. "Okay," he said quietly.
"You know, Kid, I ain't seen you shooting your new gun. Why don't you try some target practice?"
Kid shook his head. "Heyes... I'm...afraid to use my gun."
"Why, Kid?"
Kid turned and locked eyes with his partner. "I don't ever want to hurt anybody, Heyes. Not ever."
Heyes hadn't realized just how broken Kid still felt. "I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with, Kid... Might be best not to even wear your gun for a while."
Kid slowly nodded, but made no attempt to remove his holster.
Heyes reached over and put his hand on Kid's knee. He chose his words carefully.
"I think this is a situation like when we were kids. It's something you're gonna carry with you forever... But with help, you'll learn to shelve it somewhere so it's not always in the forefront of your thinking... Like that day in Kansas, it'll worm it's way to the front once in a while, but that's what the doctor's for, Kid...To help you harness and control it, not the other way around."
"I'd like to get started with it quick, Heyes."
"You want to leave for Denver tomorrow?"
Kid nodded.
"Okay, we'll let Lom know at supper tonight."
So the next morning they headed for Denver and looked up their old friend, Clementine Hale who happily offered her spare bedroom to them for as long as they needed. They ended up spending a month and Kid saw a psychiatrist on a daily basis until all were satisfied that he had regained his coping skills and was again confidently independent and self sustaining. After the second week of therapy, Kid did begin target practice and not only regained his speed and accuracy, but his confidence as well.
"I hate to see you boys leave so soon," Clem said the night before they intended to leave.
Kid smiled. "Clem, no need to be polite with us. We know you're as anxious to get us out of your hair as we are to get moving on."
"Well, that may be, but you both know you are always welcome here."
Kid kissed Clem on the cheek. "You're a darlin," he said. "And I'll always be grateful to you for this."
Clem sighed. "I know your an out... well, former outlaw, Kid, and you have a reputation to maintain, but the truth is, you're the sweetest man I have ever met."
Kid smiled. "You're right, Clem, that's not good for my reputation. Don't go spreading that around," Kid chided. "But, thank you for the sentiment," he added.
"I'm not the sweetest man you've ever known?" Heyes asked indignantly.
Clem gave Heyes a wink and a nod. "But don't tell Kid," she whispered loudly.
"We could arm wrestle for the title, Heyes," Kid suggested.
A devious smile spread across Heyes' face.
"Or flip a coin."
Kid eyed Heyes skeptically.
"Who's coin?"