Erica snatched open the door before Kali even had a chance to knock, looking up at the Alpha with a grave expression on her face.
"Please – you're the only person I could think to call."
Kali took off her gloves as she walked through the house, shoving her belongings – gloves, handbag, jacket and shoes – into Boyd's hands, coming to stop in the doorway of the living room. Derek was standing there, clad in a long-sleeved grey shirt and jeans, his hands balled into fists at his side. His eyes were dark and his brow was furrowed, gaze resting on Maia.
She was curled up on the couch, her back facing Kali – Maia did not move or acknowledge anyone's presence, her breathing even and deep, even though she was awake.
"How long has she been like this," the Alpha female asked, moving towards the quiet woman. Derek swallowed before he spoke, his eyes shifting to Kali for only a moment, "Four days… At first, I thought she was just tired – exhausted from running the pack and the city. Maia came in, changed out of her work clothes and came here. Then she stopped talking… then she stopped moving… and she has just laid her. I've done all I can think of to get her up, to break whatever she's in: all she does is lash out, bite and scratch until we back away. What is wrong with her?"
Kali did not answer him, kneeling down between the couch and the coffee table, sighing quietly. She said nothing as well to Maia, simply reaching out to stroke her hair comfortingly.
"Is this about the full moon," Isaac asked, the concern evident in his voice.
"Ask your Alpha what this is about."
The others turned to Derek and he looked at them, searching their eyes. He had no idea of why this would happen to her – how she could go from being so strong to being confined by her own body on the couch.
But then Isaac closed his eyes, turning away from the pack, "There has only been one thing that has ever broken her heart…"
"Joshua."
Derek tasted that bitterness in his mouth, taking a step back from his wife: he should have known. Of all the times he had failed her as a mate and husband, friend and lover, this had to be the most painful. She had been here, mourning as wolf-mothers did over lost cubs… and he hadn't even seen it for what it was.
"She has done this once before, on this very day… a year ago. It is the anniversary of his death, Derek," Kali whispered, trying to comfort her Alpha as best she could. She rested her cheek on the crown of Maia's head, closing her eyes and allowing herself to feel as she did.
"Kali," Derek said forcefully, feeling utterly… powerless without knowing what to do. "Help her."
The woman looked up at him, trying to keep the burning tears from spilling, "I can't – the only person who can help, who has helped her through this once before is Deucalion. Get him and move quickly: the full moon rises in only a few hours."
The Alpha male stood in the shadows of the darkened living room as Deucalion stepped across the threshold, the predatory werewolf allowing his gaze to fall on Maia.
As hardened and deceitful his face usually looked to Derek, there was no mistaken the softening of his eyes and the setting of his jaw, an acute pain overcoming Deucalion. He did not like it, the male sharing in the mourning of Derek's son as he comforted his wife, but if it would help Maia… he could allow it.
Deucalion took off his shirt, running a hand back through his hair as Derek growled and made to move towards him.
"You can leave your shirt on, Deucalion."
"You can either let me do this as I once did, or you can try and bring her out of this. The choice is yours," the scathing reply came, Kali's nails digging into Derek's shoulder and pulling him back. She tightened her hold on him for moment, standing on the tips of her toes to snarl in his ear, "Let him work, brother."
She hated this darkness, the depression she could never seem to come out of alone. It always came along without her really noticing it, a slightly darkening of the world around the edge of her vision but it wasn't until she felt the growing pain in her chest and womb, that she knew her mourning had not yet ended. Maia lost her hearing and her sight, lost all sensation to the depression – nothing mattered to her in that state, nothing at all…
Deucalion shifted her to accommodate his body on the couch, the lengthy werewolf wrapping himself around her tightly. He rested his hands over hers, burying his face in her curls and inhaling her scent. It had been a long time since he had held her as such, but it was almost as if no time had passed at all, the wolf remembering fondly the first time he had had her in his arms.
However, he did not have time to deal with mundane matters such as want and affection, knowing that having Maia phase in a state where she was not in full control of herself could leave her effectively rabid and dangerous.
"Maia."
He stroked her hair lovingly, pressing gently kisses to her curls and sighing. "There are certain things in life that are meant to change us – certain people that come into our worlds that are meant to mold us. The two of us are not a rare breed, Maia: no, far from it. There are many like us, those who have loved and lost, and lost most gravely…" Deucalion let out a breath as he felt her legs draw up higher against her body, the first sign he had of her awareness. Trying to recall the words that he had spoken to her a year before, he closed his eyes and wracked his brain, holding her tightly, "But despite the things that we have lost – the people that never were and the ones that are now long gone – we cannot afford to lose ourselves. We are the strongest of our kind and we do not give into this darkness, especially not tonight! The darkness belongs to us-"
"Maia," Derek said, moving towards the couch even as Deucalion growled at him. The older Alpha wrapped his hand around Maia's throat, his grasp tight, "Back off – she is not all together yet and you could say just the right thing to set her off. Could you control that big bitch that is her wolf?"
"She is already a handful when she's not phased – we don't need her a few hundred pounds heavier, with daggers for teeth and knives for nails. You want to try and stand up against her," Kali warned, trying to keep him from interfering. However, he refused to take no for an answer, moving towards the couch.
She could smell him, the smell of his aftershave… and his fear – fear from the possibility of losing her and their future together – as he moved closer to where she laid. Her wolf was awakening and she could feel her need to run, to ignore the pain as best she could. Maia could say honestly that it was in these dark days that she needed her wolf most, the only thing that could help her heal.
Maia only felt good, free, better… whole when she was her wolf and she was running.
"Look, you were right about what you said that day Gerard gave us that ultimatum," Derek said loudly, trying to get through to her, seeing Maia's hand curl into a tight fist. "You have always been right! Joshua's death was my fault, my burden, my cross to bear. You had no control over the situation and there was nothing you could have done – nothing. And Deucalion is right that you are the strongest of your kind, you are stronger than me and you are stronger than this! I can't handle life with you gone, especially not like this Maia, so tell me what it will take to help you, to fix you! I have done everything you have asked – worked on our marriage, gave you a pack… but its not enough."
He was quiet for a minute, his words failing him as he looked at her, swallowing, "I have given you everything except a… child." They were all caught off-guard by just how fast she could move, Maia leaping to her feet – knocking Deucalion to the floor in her movement – to kick the sofa at Derek. It pinned him against the wall for a moment before he promptly broke it in half, the Alpha growling at his mate. Maia's eyes glowed menacingly, baring her teeth at him when he moved to stand in her way of escape.
"Move," she snarled, hackles raised as she took a step towards him.
"I can't do that, Maia. You are not… okay."
Derek could see the crazed look in her eyes, seeing her muscles start to lengthen and ripple underneath her skin as she fought the urge to phase. "So now you're allowed to leave whenever it suits you and I'm supposed to what – to just deal? I strongly advise you to get out of my way before I break you in half," Maia shouted with snapping and growling punctuating her words.
He looked to Kali, seeing the Alpha female settling into a crouch, knowing that they would have to fight her, "Then I guess you'll just have to break me then."
"With pleasure."
Deucalion reached up to grab Maia around the back of the shirt, flinging her across the room with a shout. She landed lithely on her feet, lashing out at Boyd and Isaac when they moved to overpower her, dispatching them with ease. The Alphamega turned on Erica then, the young werewolf trying to stand stoic in the face of certain injury. "Erica, move!" Derek threw Kali at his wife, the two females fighting tooth and nail, Maia's jaws snapping at her friend's throat. Instead of attempting to break her neck, she simply wrapped her hand around Kali's throat, lifting her off of her feet with ease.
"I will not kill you Maia, but I cannot let you leave," she said with some difficulty, reaching out to score Maia's face. The woman snarled in reply as the wounds healed, pressing heavily on Kali's windpipe and watching her eyes flutter in her head, "You're not letting me do anything-"
Derek dragged her back by her hair, Kali dropping to the ground as Deucalion wrapped his arms around Maia, holding her immobile. "Maia! Stop!" She was out of control, however, freeing her arms from where they had been pinned by her side, reaching up to place one of her hands underneath his jaw and the other behind his neck. The two males' eyes locked together and Derek knew what was about to happen, making the split second decision to save his pack mate by smashing his elbow into her side.
She went flying through the sliding glass door but she was not down for long, Derek turning to see her, fully phased, roaring and literally running for the hills. There was a roar from beside him and then Deucalion was chasing after her, the second Alpha male following them both.
The dirt was loose and giving underneath Maia's paws, the air unusually cold as she sucked it into her lungs, her breath coming quickly from the adrenaline rushing through her body.
Derek didn't understand – none of them would ever understand, why this was so difficult for her. Maia had attempted to prepare for this and in the end, she would have it, but it was too much. Too overwhelming and too soon…
There was still something she had left to do.
Maia cut her thoughts short as she heard the two wolves gaining on her, looking back over her shoulder at Derek and Deucalion. Despite their hatred for each other, they were running side by side, intent on stopping her. She knew that she could out run them, but they would still follow her and that, she could not have.
The moon was moving to the highest point in the sky, Maia feeling her more logical mind starting to cease in functioning. Just the sensation of the wind rushing through her fur caused her to want to just close her eyes and lose herself in the night – as it was, she could not help but to have her eyes roll back in her head. The smell of the woods, the feel of the earth, the taste of freedom… all so incredibly distracting.
Derek and Deucalion burst into a clearing after hearing Maia's footfalls cease, the two wolves circling around one another as they attempted to follow her trail. And then a branch cracked, her mate looking up to see Maia leaping out of a tree, Derek rolling to the side. She moved to smash her forearm into Deucalion's neck, knocking the wolf off of his feet before turning on Derek.
His eyes pinned her down where she stood, bright and shiny, pleading for her to just… stop.
"You will never have me back unless you let me go!"
Maia feinted to the left before sliding through Derek's jaws and taking off like a bolt through the forest, preparing herself to phase again. However, he caught up to her while she was still human, pinning her to the ground and clamping his fangs around her neck. He jerked once to try and let her know that he was willing to put her down if he had to, Maia bracing both of her hands against his chest before throwing him off of her. She successfully phased once he had been dealt with for the moment, running with the sheer sense of exhilaration and longing, need and a slightly fearful anticipation as for what awaited her. Every inch of her being pushed towards the end and resolution she had always sought, the realization of it all now seeming clear to her.
Her thoughts fell away from her as she was filled with a single-minded determination, the massive wolf tearing across the landscape like a bat out of hell. There was something to be said about the strange duality of the mind when it came to an individual and their wolf, keeping their human needs in line with that of the more primal desires without seeming like it was doing either. The brain fired reflexively without a greater consciousness in response to the wolf – just like it did for their less domesticated brethren – but they could still somewhat process thoughts and emotions, even if it were at a basic level.
And it was a simple clarity that gave Maia peace and showed her the way, the path to the only thing that would put an end to the darkness.
Home.
Derek shifted as he looked at the destruction of the forest Maia had left in her wake, the huge wolf not even attempting to dodge the trees as she barreled through to something he had no idea was waiting for her.
He missed her already in the minutes that were stretching between them, the Alpha male letting out one mournful howl. And how quickly the roles had changed for them: Derek the one being left behind, Derek the one unable to escape…
"We shouldn't stop, not now," Deucalion panted as he caught up to his pack mate, sniffing the air to try and catch her scent once more. But Derek just shook his head, bracing himself against a nearby tree for support, "I have to let her go. That's what she said – to let her go…"
"To leave her rabid out there?"
Derek turned on Deucalion, baring his teeth and pushing on his shoulder threateningly. "I'm not leaving her anywhere! I just know that with her being unreasonable like this, no amount of chasing and no amount of fighting is going to stop her because she is not running to clear her head. She's running towards something."
There was a loud howl coming from where they had left, both men turning to look through the trees.
"That's Kali – she knows Maia's gone. She's taken over."
Another howl followed the first, deeper and lower, then another and then another before the night was full of the wolves' chorus, the pack calling out to the ones that had left them. Derek felt the pull towards his brothers and sisters, closing his eyes as he started running.
He would hunt for Maia another day.