Derek sat quietly as the other Alphas bickered and argued, tapping his foot obsessively to keep his calm. It had been exactly thirteen hours since the full moon had passed, the pack in a state of shock and confusion over Maia's unseemly and sudden departure. From what they had been told, the majority of the wolves knew that she was not well and they were worried for her, plenty of pack members volunteering to go after her.
"All I am saying is that she showed quite a bit of constraint by not killing you, Deucalion! You know that she has about as many qualms for murder as you do," Ethan said angrily, looking at his pack mate with his arms followed across his chest. "And it is not wise to go after her, guns blazing, when she is not in her right mind."
"So what do we do then, Ethan? Just allow her to go," the older Alpha male sneering through his teeth as he paced in the living room of Hale house.
Kali shook her head and sat down on the arm of the sofa, running her hands back through her thick mane of hair. It was clear that she was the most upset about Maia's leaving – something that shocked him, especially with Deucalion involved. He could see the distress on her face when she looked up at him, her eyes fixed upon his, "Are you alright, Derek?"
He attempted to speak, having to clear his throat repeatedly and wring his hands as he sought to find his voice.
"No, Kali. No, I'm not."
She moved to kneel before him, sighing as she reached up and wrapped her arms around him. It was uncomfortable for him to be so close to the woman that was still effectively a stranger, but she did exude a comfort that he was in need of, the two Alphas still and quiet. The embrace went on for longer than what was probably necessary, but when Kali pulled away, his eyes followed her, the woman allowing her hands to stroke his face lightly.
"Believe in me, brother, when I say that I do not make light of your pain or loss – because I know you feel it much stronger than any of us. But you are not alone and we will do whatever we can to help you find her," Kali murmured, the others quiet as they listened to her speak. Deucalion took a step towards them, his attention on Kali as he inclined her head to his. "Help him? We are helping you, following whatever orders you decide to give – you are in charge of the pack now. Maia's departure made that so."
"I freely admit that those were her instructions, but they were given long before Derek ever entered the picture," she replied, standing and gesturing to Derek pointedly. "As her mate, the… chain of command shifts from me to him. Derek Hale has become this pack's Alpha – and our own as well. Our knees bend to him now."
Ennis growled menacingly, letting the entire room know how exactly he felt about her assumption, Aiden agreeing as he stepped forward. "I bend my knee to no man that has not earned it; he may be her husband and he may be my brother, but I will not just give into the will of someone who married into the pack rather than earning his place-" Aiden was silenced as Derek sailed into him, the Alpha male slamming him into the nearest wall and pinning his forearm against his throat. "Look, I was married to her long before this pack ever existed – I am the one who created her! So don't think that I have not earned my place here because I have been dealing with Maia for a very long time and I gotta say that after all we've been through together, I think my dues are paid," Derek snapped, baring his teeth at the younger Alpha.
He paused as he felt Ennis breathing against his neck, the massive Alpha clearly wanting Derek to set Aiden loose. However, Derek only looked over his shoulder at his pack brother, growling, "Back off, Ennis. I'm not going to hurt him: I need him to help me find Maia first – isn't that what we all want?"
The Alpha took a step back and Derek removed his arm from Aiden's neck, the young man shoving Derek before walking to where his brother stood. Ethan smacked him, nonchalant, before turning to look at Maia's mate, his arms spread wide in an attempt to dissuade him from being angry.
"I apologize for my brother, he has a bad habit of shooting his mouth off when no one has asked for his opinion."
"Yeah, well keep him quiet from now on," Derek replied as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table, cracking his knuckles as he tried to think. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow, attempting to figure out what to do next. Only a few moments had passed before Deucalion scoffed, Derek opening his eyes to look at him evenly, "What?" The older Alpha sneered, his bright red eyes seeming like they burned through his pack mate as the two men faced off. "I'm just trying to understand how exactly you're going to find her, being as you know very little about who she is now. And how you expect for the others to follow you without earning that rank or respect. And why you think that you have more to lose than any of us do-"
Kali got to him before Derek could, punching him in the face and jerking him up by the collar of his tee shirt, her teeth like daggers. "In contrast to what you believe about the relationship between yourself and Maia, or the relationships she has with all of the other pack members, her mate bond with Derek trumps all of them! And if anyone – anyone at all – has everything to lose, it is Derek Hale," she roared, impressing her words upon him with another punch and a rough shove.
It was then that Derek stood, his eyes fixed on a point far beyond where any of them could see. "Everything to lose," he murmured as he reached up to pull his shirt up over his head, the Alpha male snarling more to the air than to anyone else. Derek prepared himself to phase, feeling his muscles start to lengthen and burn in anticipation for the run. "I have everything to lose…"
Derek pushed himself as he ran, barreling through the trees like a bullet, the wind and rain battering him like a bunch of sledgehammers. He had gotten himself caught right in the middle of a storm and he hated the soaked feeling of being in the rain like this, but he was a man on a mission, weather be damned.
The wind changed suddenly and he paused, braving the pounding rain in order to catch her scent. Maia had made no effort to cover her tracks, Derek having been able to follow her to where he was in lower Washington all the way from Beacon Hills.
If it had not been clear before, he knew exactly where she would be and that fact alone scared the hell out of him.
He knew that it happened all the time in the wild and he had even heard of an occurrence in their own kind, wolf-mothers who mourned so badly that they died, unable to move past the loss of a pup. Not knowing whether Maia was alright or not only made him run faster, the massive wolf hoping that he made it there in time…
Derek arrived in their old neighborhood just as the storm let up, sensing that his mate was close enough he could hear her heartbeat and her breathing – she was alive. He almost went to the ground from relief, his legs weary and his paws sore from the nearly twenty hours, non-stop run.
Coming out of the tree line from the left of the house, he phased back to stand on two feet, checking his surroundings before crossing the street, seeing the door standing half-open. Memories flickered in the back of his mind of the happier times they had had here, but they were long gone now, Derek sighing quietly. He was beyond certain that she knew he was here – her senses were keen enough that she would have smelled him coming from a mile away. And she knew, yes, but she did not come to greet him which was a bad sign.
He slipped into the house and was immediately assaulted by the smell of blood, not unlike how he had been when he had come home to find his son dead and his wife dying on their kitchen floor. "Maia!" Derek ran to the living room, seeing a man bloodied and mutilated on the couch, two women laying sprawled out on the floor, both dead.
"Jesus Christ…"
Derek looked over his shoulder and growled before moving to the main hallway, standing at the back door. He was angry but apprehensive with the truth that he had no idea of what awaited him on the other side of door.
"I can hear you breathing," her quiet voice came, soft and despondent. "I'm out here."
He took a deep breath and pushed open the door with a bang, ready to face the demons that lay in the garden. And there she was, standing at where their child had been buried, naked and covered in blood, her back to her husband. "What have you done," he asked quietly, Maia sniffling almost silently as she moved to clasp her hands before her. "I came here to see him – they wouldn't let me in." Derek snarled and moved to take one step towards her, looking back at the house, "And so you slaughtered them like sheep?"
"This is my house, my son and I was willing – obviously – to kill to be here," she replied in a monotone, the soft rain bouncing off of her body in a way that sounded like music. "Why the hell are you even here anyway Derek? You haven't been back here since you left."
"I never needed to come back."
Maia whirled around to look at her mate, the anger and sadness clear in her eyes, "And why is that exactly?"
He set his jaw, his hands balling into fists to keep himself from lashing out at her. It just seemed like they couldn't get past this, past things that had never been and things they could never change – they were both very stubborn when it came to their child.
"I left because I couldn't handle it and I admit that-"
"You're selfish," Maia replied vehemently, her arms coming across her chest. "You are the most selfish person I have ever met; you always up and leave when you can't handle things, even when people still need you. You don't give a shit about anyone but yourself Derek: admit it."
Derek's eyes narrowed but he stood his ground, refusing to go after her, "Fuck you Maia. I'm not the blame for everything bad that has happened in our lives – we share that burden. And where were you for months after he died, when I tried to talk to you and help and fix things before I just gave up? And what were you doing when I needed you on my side, huh? Oh yeah, you were plotting against me, keeping secrets and lying to me in order to work your own agenda to make me bend my knee to you! You have absolutely no right to call me selfish, none!"
"Are you serious," Maia asked, her voice rising louder with every word as the rain began to pick up again, falling in heavy sheets that felt like they were soaking her through to the bone. "I never promised that I was perfect and I even warned you – you never came with a magic sticker telling me how fucked up things would be when I married you!"
His eyes flew open in disgust and disbelief, her words seeming like a low blow. "You bitch."
"Go home."
"Absolutely not," Derek replied harshly, trying to slow his breathing so that he wouldn't phase and attack her. "I'm not going without a fight. And I will fight for you."
She bared her teeth, her claws menacing as she held her hand at her side, unbridled rage coursing through her veins along with venom. "Fine – lets fight it out, Derek." He didn't even attempt to move when Maia lunged at him, hearing her roar: he knew that she needed this release. She leveled him with a jaw-breaking punch to the face, Derek remaining on the ground as he grunted, wincing as his injury began to heal.
"Get up! Get the fuck up," Maia shouted, not caring who heard or saw them.
Derek did as she ordered and received a swift knee to the abdomen, grunting from the pain. He felt the air leave his lungs as her hardened body slammed into his with the force of a boulder, their bodies returning to the ground. Maia was silent other than a few grunts and snarls as she assaulted him, Derek braving the punches as they found purchase on his flesh. She stood, letting out an impassioned cry before bringing her foot down on Derek's thigh, hearing the bone there crack in half. He was strong for not roaring or at the least bit swearing, her husband simply gritting his teeth and looking at her. "Why won't you fight back? Isn't this what you wanted," Maia questioned, sinking into a predatory crouch that Derek wanted to flinch away from. "I am not going to fight you! But I am not just going to stand by and let you walking away from me – you run, I follow. Isn't that what you said? What would be gained by me fighting you," Derek asked, panting heavily as his leg began to burn and mend. And then he smirked, seeing the troubled look in her eyes, "It feels good to get angry though, doesn't it? Reminds you of how it feels to be utterly without happiness – and makes you only want it that much more. I've been angry for years, but all I want is to be happy again. Happy with you, Maia and if it takes years for you to want that too – enough so that you will try with me – I can wait. You know I'm not bullshiting you, because you know I'm not like this, romantic and emotional and all of this crap, but that I'm being honest with how I feel. I love you-"
"Have you ever realized that the things you're doing in life could potentially cost you everything and everyone you have ever loved? Have you," Maia asked, her bottom lip trembling. "I told you once that somewhere inside of them all, they hate me – I have made both enemies and friends. And the last thing I need now is this… I thought things had changed, gotten better but I can see now that nothing has changed Derek and we are right back where we started!"
"Only because you brought us here."
Her anger flared up again like a fire rekindled, white hot and intensely burning. "Our lives have been nothing more than a façade since you changed me, Derek. The emotions come along every now and again – love, passion, happiness – but they're fleeting and they're fake-"
"I hope you don't mean that," Derek said as he propped himself up on his bad leg, straightening up when he found it could hold weight. "Because… because goddamn it, you mean more than that to me! You are the very thing that reminds me of who I was when things were good and normal, the one that gives me hope for the future, the only thing that keeps me from losing myself. You keep me… me Maia Hale."
He watched as her face twisted from an intense inner pain before softening, Maia letting out a quiet exhale as she sought to steady her hands. All the anger she had inside of her dissipated, his wife wrapping her arms around her own chest and closing her eyes. Her face crumpled as he moved towards her, Derek reaching out to cup her cheek in his hand, "Before I left, Kali said that if anyone had everything to lose, it was me. And that is true because you are absolutely… everything to me. I can't lose you."
"I'm pregnant."
Those two simple words made Derek's entire mind go blank, the Alpha male looking down at her stomach – it was still flat, but it was like he was seeing her in a new light, like she glowed from within. She sniffed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, looking to the small grave they stood over.
"I found out a month ago: ten weeks gone tomorrow. Even though this is what I wanted, it just feels unexpected and… too soon after thing that has happened in the last few months. And the bad thing is I wish I could say that I was happy when I heard back from the doctor, but I wasn't – I just felt like I wasn't ready. Scared and fucking fearful that I couldn't protect this baby, that I'd lose him but mostly… mostly I was just terrified that everything would be okay and that one day along the road, that I'd forget about Joshua. I know that I said once before that I wanted to forget him, but I... I don't. He doesn't deserve that and this baby deserves a mother who isn't still caught up on a child that never was," she said, running her hand back through her stringy, wet hair.
"Listen to yourself," Derek replied quietly, shaking his head and sighing. "You do not have to be June fucking Cleaver to be a good mother. And you will be-"
Maia growled and looked away from him, gesturing to the house behind them, "Derek, look at me! I am the most fucked up person I know and you know that I'm right! I have so much… blood on my hands and I have done so many bad, terrible things!"
"Baby, we have all done terrible things! Look at us: we are terrible people, creatures, monsters," Derek shouted just as loudly, moving to cup her face in his hands. "But we can do this - together. I love you, so much Maia: that's the only thing that you can let matter."
She felt his hands in her hair and she exhaled heavily, looking up at him. "I know this may be a bad time but-"
Derek licked his lips before looking down at the droplets of water rolling down her body, ducking in to brush his mouth against hers. "Maia… we have to burn this house down soon, especially if those people have been missing for almost a day. But if we're quick about it-"
He found himself being dragged into the house, silently thanking whatever God that looked out for their kind for blessing him with a woman like Maia Hale.