-Canada was used to quiet. The silence of his home he was used to but that silence was lonely. The calm quiet of Norway and Denmark's house was a kind whisper. He pondered this glancing at the sleeping Iceland on the couch. Two colorfully decorated pet rocks in front of him. Canada smiled the last few days after Christmas had been so happy for him. He and Finland had baked together. Sweden taught him how to handle a tipsy Denmark after they had visited a bar last night. Norway and him had simply sat at the big breakfast table working on a puzzle. He grinned sipping on his hot chocolate. Norway and him had finally gotten to really talk. Unfortunately, Canada's father was upstairs with a headache. Finland said it was from too many sweets although Norway blamed Denmark who now also had a headache from Norway's blunt force annoyed fist, for causing him to stress eat. Finland and Sweden had just sighed and went out to get some Advil. After the whirlwind of activity, Canada was thankful for a quiet moment of rest. He pondered the fact that he was surrounded by people who loved him. It was a strange feeling to be loved. Canada thought himself lucky to get to feel this. Most nations he knew didn't have that. He flinched thinking of Alfred and his childhood. Alfred had been crossing his mind more recently. He didn't know how to feel about his 'brother'. He knew he loved him and that he probably needed to talk to him about the fact that they weren't actually related but Alfred didn't take stressful discussions well. Maybe if he waited a bit longer, he would feel brave enough to actually talk to his excitable brother. He just hoped Alfred wouldn't cry. He probably wouldn't. They hadn't even spent quality time together in years. Matthew frowned maybe he should spend time with his brother outside of meetings outside of...of England and France's world. That was it wasn't. They were the reason him and Alfred were drifting away year by year. The revolution started it and then it kept getting worse. Ugh why hadn't he seen how awful they were. The last few weeks had taught him so many things. That family didn't ignore you or belittle you or force you to do things you hated. He recalled watching Denmark telling Iceland it was okay that he didn't like beer like the rest of them over dinner. Imagining what would happen if England found out he liked hot chocolate better than tea, had terrified Canada growing up. The last few weeks had caused Canada to realized exactly how scared he had been of England and even France. He feared Englands

wrath and France's disappointment.

He shivered remembering the first instance he had realized this. He and Norway had been looking over one of Norway's spell books.

————

"The spell you saw is simple it called the singing spell." Norway said gesturing to the book.

"That is the most obvious name ever." Canada had whispered staring at the book nervously.

"Yes. I suppose it is. A lot of it is actually in old Norse."

"Cool." Canada was desperately trying to hid the fact the He was very very scared of magic. He knew that Norway loved it and he wanted to love it too but old memories of terrifying spells surrounding England in the dark kept resurfacing.

"Vinland?"

What if the book explodes? What if demons come out of it? Worse what if Russia comes out of it?

"Canada?"

God he can't breathe. What if those zombies come back that England accidentally summoned? What if England does it again what if he..e.

"Matthew!"

Canada gasped for air. Realizing some how he ended up on Norway's bed. His father's face looked worried.

"I...Uh" Canada stammered embarrassingly realizing that he had just had a panic attack. "Sorry."

"Canada What triggered that?" Norway voice was deathly serious.

"What?"

"What just made you panic because I want make sure it doesn't happen again." Norway was holding his shoulder there was a silent what did I do wrong in his question.

"I..." Canada couldn't tell him. He couldn't hurt the person that loved him so much.

"Please tell me. That was dangerous you stopped breathing for twelve seconds" Norway was about two seconds from panicking himself.

Canada had just gotten over the fact that he had stopped breathing. Looking into Norway's firm stare confirmed it, he needed to be honest. "I...I am kinda..kinda really scared of um...magic."

Making sure not to look at what he predicted to be the angry eyes of Norway, he started rambling. "I..sorry. It just..England's. He didn't..he would summon things scary things..some times spells would backfire. I had to pick glass out Alfred's face two. I got so scared because if he was doing magic it was usually to hurt someone or win something or...or..make me shut up." He became aware of his own tears. "When I was little I argued a lot and..and he had this spell. It made my voice just disappear. He'd do it to Alfred too, but Alfred always fought him by banging things until Arthur undid it but I couldn't...I couldn't I was to scared. I was so stupid huh I am so sorry I know you love magic and..." Canada sniffed barely forming a sentence.

Norway slowly cradled him. Hushing Canada's broken sentences. "Hey Shh. It's okay you did nothing wrong."

At that, Canada tried to say no but Norway just held him closer. "Listen to me little one just listen. You are alright. And you didn't do anything wrong and I am not mad or anything like it. You didn't deserve that to happen to you.." he stroked Canada's hair letting the little nation listen to his heart beat.

"You want to know something?" Norway whispered.

Canada just hummed slightly.

"It okay to be scared of magic. Hell I be worried if you weren't at least a little scared. Being afraid of what it can do is something I have lived with a long time. But I promise you I never never have willingly touched dark magic like what England did to you."

Norway finished letting Canada slowly nod. Canada didn't really know how to feel. He was tired and relieved that Norway wasn't mad and also embarrassed from crying. "I am sorry."

"Hey none of that. Again you didn't do anything wrong. Magic is an overwhelming force of nature and fear is the natural reaction especially in your circumstance." Norway had whispered softly to him and kindly the rest of the night as he told his father of how fearful his childhood really had been.

————

Canada sighed those moments had been the most scary but also most comforting things to ever happen to him. Telling Norway how ignored and alone he had felt, how abandoned when France left,

how lost when Alfred left, had been terrifying but as he said those things letting himself get hugged and comforted was so amazing. He sipped his hot chocolate as he got up to get the door he had heard Finland and Sweden knocking.

The night had been when he thought everything would be okay.

But then it wasn't.

"Matthieu."