A/N: I know. Everyone wants to get right into the serial action. So all I'll say is that I'm sorry.
Hades' POV
May all the cereal grains of the earth perish in Tartarus!
Demeter set three bowls of the accursed breakfast in front of me by magic.
'If you fail, you are not worthy of my daughter; and shall release her.' Demeter said.
'That is not in the dare, mother in law.' I said.
'And it has to come from the darer's mouth.' Nicola said.
'If you fail— or outright refuse— you must remove an article of clothing. Preferably your trousers.' Zeus said.
'Zeus!' Demeter roared.
'They are married; we cannot change that.' Zeus shrugged. 'Or Hera and I would have split long ago.'
I looked wistfully at the scissors of change.
No, I thought. I am not giving up my hair or my trousers for cereal.
'Give me the spoon.' I said.
The first was Rice Krispies.
I took a bite and almost spit it out; how much sugar was in this?
'Chew it. Chew it. Chew it.' Those stupid demigods cheered.
I saw my Persephone cheering along with them. 'You can do this!'
I got a renewed stamina; my wife believed I could do this. I was not going to prove her wrong.
It took ten minutes and I finished the first bowl of poison.
The second was Fruit Loops.
This one had sand instead of sugar.
I must have made a terrible face; because Zeus was smiling, Demeter grinned like Hermes, and my children, laughed— laughed!— at me.
My anger gave me courage and I dusted off the second bowl of poison.
The third was plain Cornflakes; with Phlegathon water.
'Go to hell— wait; I rule hell.' I realized. 'But go there anyway.'
I took one spoon and set my tongue, esophagus, and stomach on fire.
I calmly picked up the bowl and poured it's contents on Demeter's head.
'You—'
I dropped my pants and sat down.
'I will plan my revenge for the meantime.' I said. 'So who wants my turn?'
Of course; a lot of people clamored. But only one caught my attention.
'Thalia, you will substitute me.' I said.
The Zeus spawn bowed in mock gratitude. 'Thank you, O Rich One.'
Then she faced Minos with the most conniving look I had ever seen this century, [then again; I haven't really seen anything this century.] 'Nico; Truth Or Dare?'