Chapter 18 - Planning

Ana's POV

I opened my eyes, and it was pitch black. I was no longer in the bathtub with Christian. I was wrapped tightly under the covers in a pair of Christian's sweatpants and one of his t-shirts.

I noticed a light coming from beside me. I turned around and saw Christian quietly typing away on his laptop.

"Why are you still up?" I asked, my voice still groggy.

"Just finishing some work," he replied, gently smoothing my unruly hair into place.

I threw the covers off and cuddled up next to Christian.

"Did I wake you," he asked concerned, shutting his laptop.

I shook my head, "No, you didn't."

"Are you sure? Because I can always go to my study to finish up. I don't want you to be tired at school tomorrow."

"No," I said, holding on to his arm, "I don't want you to go. And I don't want to go back to sleep."

He smiled, "Anastasia, I think you might be too sore for more sex. I don't want to hurt you."

Oh, Christian and his one track mine. "I wasn't asking for sex," I giggled, "I just want to cuddle with you. Take a break from work."

"Alright, baby." He set his laptop down on the nightstand and pulled the duvet over us, wrapping me in his arms so that we were in the spooning position.

"Where'd you get the idea to tie me up like that?" I asked curiously.

"I've been doing some more research into BDSM."

"So what did you discover?"

"Well for starters… Countless ways I can tie you up."

"So there's more where that came from?"

"Definitely more, baby. There's a whole world of possibilities."

I squirmed in his arms, feeling myself get wet again.

"I also think I found some other things you might like," he continued.

"Like?"

"Toys."

"Go on." I felt my face flush, and my body began to react in very inappropriate ways.

"Butt plugs," he stated, "I saw how much you loved it when I played with you there tonight. Especially when I shoved my finger in there."

I blushed at his bluntness. Oh, the things that man has done to me, and I still got embarrassed when he talked about my ass.

"You loved it, didn't you?"

"Oh, God yes. I love it," I said in a breathy voice.

"Imagine how full you would feel if I fucked you with a butt plug in your ass. Or better yet, a vibrator in your pussy while I finally claimed your ass," he whispered into my ear, his voice oozing sex.

My panties were completely soaked because of his words.

"Stop making me wet," I moaned.

He chuckled and replied, "That wasn't my intention. I thought we were having a serious conversation about what I'd like to do with your ass."

I turned around to face him and pouted, "As stimulating as that sounds… We need to change the topic of conversation before I spontaneously combust."

"Okay, baby. Enough about your butt for tonight. Would you like to hear about some other toys… Nipple clamps, spreader bars, ben-wa balls, gags. The list goes on and on."

I didn't know what most of those things were, but they sounded intriguing. I felt my nipples start to harden from my arousal and another gush of wetness flowed in between my legs.

"Christian," I warned, "Stop making me horny."

"Okay, okay," he yielded, "But in all seriousness, I want to play some more with you. That is… If you want to play some more too."

I bit my lip. "Of course I want to play more with you. Why don't you order some stuff and then we'll see what we like. Perhaps sir would like to spank me with something other than his hand…"

"God, I love you." He placed his palm on my cheek and kissed me.

"I love you too," I gasped.

"How did the wedding planning go?" he asked. His arms were wrapped tightly around my body and my head was tucked in the crook of his neck.

"It was good. But you know how Kate is," I sighed.

"Don't let her bulldoze you, baby. This is your wedding. Whatever you want, you're going to have."

"This is our wedding," I stressed.

"Okay," he relented, "Our wedding."

"Which reminds me… I know we agreed on having the wedding in July. Did you have a specific date in mind?"

"Maybe July 4th weekend?" he suggested, "Everyone will have time off work."

"I think that's a great idea. So July 3rd? That's a Sunday."

"Sounds good to me."

Great, so now we had the date nailed down. Now we needed a venue.

"Have you thought about a venue?" I asked.

"I don't really care, baby. But we can go wherever you please. The South of France is gorgeous in the summer."

"I don't think I want to have a destination wedding. We'll save that for the honeymoon."

"So where were you thinking?"

"Uncle Fitz might have said the White House was an option. The rose garden will be in full bloom in July. It could be stunning. Or there's always Seattle. A small, intimate ceremony overlooking the Sound. Maybe at your parent's estate."

"Both are lovely options. And I'm positive my mother would be more than willing to host, but…" his voice trails off.

"But?"

"I spoke with my father today."

Oh! That's what I forgot to do. I told Grace I would remind Christian to call back his father, but it totally slipped my mind.

Judging from his facial expression, I was guessing that the conversation didn't go well.

"What happened?" I asked concerned.

"He apologized. Then proceeded to piss me off again."

"What did he do?"

"He said he would be happy to handle all the legal matters regarding our marriage. Originally, I thought he was talking about putting you in my will, officially putting your name on everything to do with GEH, and legally changing your name to Grey. But that's not what he meant at all. He wanted to make sure you had your own lawyer to go over a fucking prenup!"

A prenup! How did I forget about that? Of course Christian would want a prenup. He was going to be so much wealthier than I was.

"A prenup… I'll sign whatever you want Christian. I don't think I'll need my own representation. I don't want to take any of your money."

"No! No fucking prenup Anastasia! I told my father to stick his fucking prenup where the sun doesn't shine."

"But Christian," I argued, "It's to protect you. And GEH. It's so important to you. And I would never take anything you worked so hard to achieve. But if it makes you feel any better, I'll sign a prenup making sure that could never happen."

"No!" he repeated, "Ana, GEH isn't mine. It's ours. And I don't need you to sign some stupid paper saying you won't take half of everything that's mine if we split up. We're not getting divorced. Ever. So that point is moot. And even if you did leave me, you could take it all. It wouldn't matter to me because I wouldn't have you."

"I'm never going to leave you," I whispered, looking into his stormy grey eyes.

"I know, baby. I know."

"But your father…"

He silenced me with a kiss. "He's just being a lawyer. And an asshole. Ignore him."

"I don't want your parents to think I'm with you for the money."

"They would never think that. You know my mother adores you. You're like her second daughter. And Carrick… Well, he loves you too. I think he's still angry at me for dropping out of Harvard. Don't worry about him."

"Okay," I sighed, "So no to Seattle for the wedding?"

"We can still have it there if you want. But I think it would be awkward trying to avoid Carrick."

"We're still inviting him to the wedding, though? Right?"

"At this point… I'm so mad at him. I don't know."

"He's your father, Christian. You'll work it out."

"I hope so."

"Why don't we have it at the White House rose garden? I think it will be a neutral zone for you and Carrick. And my father and Fitz will be over the moon. And Kate was really pushing for the White House. She said it would be like modern day Camelot."

"Except we're not political royalty," he commented.

"No, we're not," I laughed, "We're better."

"Damn right," he said, snuggling me closer.

I sighed contently in his arms and closed my eyes.

"Are you tired, baby?"

"No. I just want to lay in your arms for a little while longer."

"Can I talk to you about something serious?"

I opened my eyes again. "What is it about?"

"Your safety."

"Christian, if this is about today. Don't worry about it. I know how to handle myself next time."

"I do worry about it." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and replied, "If anything were to happen to you…"

"You can't protect me from everything, Christian."

"I can try."

"Christian…" I sighed, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.

"I want you to have personal security with you everywhere."

"Christian," I whined petulantly, "I don't need a bodyguard."

"Ana, what happened today was unacceptable. If you had security, you would have never been harassed. You could have been hurt, or trampled, or worse."

"But nothing happened to me. I'm perfectly fine."

"That's not the point. Something could have happened to you! And it's not just the paparazzi following you around that's worrying me. I don't want to scare you, but baby, we're getting really really rich. And I make a lot of enemies doing what I do. Baby, you're every kidnapper's dream. You're small and light. And someone could take you so easily off the street. It worries me every time you go out alone."

Hearing him say that put things into perspective for me. I had never thought of it that way. But at the same time, I didn't want someone following me around every day. It was super weird, not to mention a huge violation of my privacy.

"Will he have to follow me everywhere?" I asked, "Will I not be able to walk around school by myself?"

"He'll need to be by your side at all times, Ana. Even Harvard isn't totally secure. There are tours all the time, and there's no way to vet everyone that goes there."

"So he'll be spying on me all day?"

"He's not there to spy. He's there to protect you."

Protect me? Then what about him? Surely if I was at risk, he was too?

"Who's going to protect you?"

"I think I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself."

"And I'm not?" I raised my voice.

"Of course you're not! Baby, you know I love you. You're the strongest woman I know. But if someone wanted to hurt you or take you away from me…"

I saw a tear pool in his beautiful eyes.

"Okay," I relented.

"Okay?" he repeated, perking up.

"Yes, I'll agree to a bodyguard, but if I'm getting one, so are you."

"Ana, I don't think…"

I cut him off, "Nope. That's the only way I'm agreeing to this." I wrapped my arms possessively around his shoulders. "I need you safe too."

"Alright," he agreed, "I'll set up some meetings for your CPO tomorrow."

"And yours," I reminded him.

"And mine."

Christian's POV

Of course, my stubborn Ana would only agree to a CPO if I had one too. I should've seen that one coming.

"Hello, this is Fred Welch."

"Mr. Welch, this is Christian Grey. Raymond Steele gave me your information."

"Ah, yes. Ray's an old friend from the military. What can I do for you, Mr. Grey?"

"I'm looking into personal security for my wi… my fiancee and me."

"How many men did you have in mind?"

"Just two. One for each of us. I need them as soon as possible. Can interviews be scheduled today."

"That can be arranged. Were you looking for 24/7 guys or just day to day?"

"I think day to day to start. Just while we're out and about. My fiancee goes to school during the day, and I work from my office. We won't be needing anyone when we're home."

"Okay, that narrows it down a bit. Would you prefer if they were carrying?"

"Carrying what?"

"A firearm, sir."

I abhorred guns, but if it would protect Anastasia...

"Preferably," I stated.

"I have four guys that are available for an interview today. I'll send you their CVs."

"Perfect," I replied, "My company is also moving into its own building next week. And I'll need to organize security. Is that something you're experienced in?"

"Yes, I can do that, Mr. Grey. It would be better to schedule a meeting to hash out the details, though."

"I'll have my secretary send you times when I'm available this week."

"Sounds good. I'll get you those CVs right away."

"Thank you, Mr. Welch. I'll be in touch."

Ana's POV

"Hi, Ms. Steele," Christian's assistant greeted me when I walked to Christian's office.

"Hi, Jessica," I smiled, "Is Christian available?"

"He's been waiting for you, Ms. Steele. Go right in."

I opened Christian's office door and saw him talking to a burly man in a suit. He couldn't have been much older than me.

"Ana," he greeted me, "This is Sawyer."

"Ma'am," he said, shaking my hand. This guy couldn't be older than 25 and he was calling me ma'am? Christ, I've landed in an alternate universe.

"Just Sawyer?"

"Luke Sawyer's my name ma'am. But you can just call me Sawyer."

"Please call me, Ana. I'm not old enough to be called ma'am."

"What did you think of him, baby?" Christian asked me while I was sitting on his lap in his desk chair.

"I liked him enough. How many more interviews are there?"

"Three. You can pick whichever one out of the bunch you like best. If you don't like any of them, I can always find more guys. But I'd like to have your CPO nailed down as soon as possible."

The next guy who came to interview rubbed me the wrong way. He gave me a creepy stalker vibe, and I immediately ruled him out for both Christian and me.

The next goon in a suit introduced himself as Jason Taylor. He was in his late twenties and was in the army. He did three tours in Afghanistan, and although he seemed to have a hard-as-nails exterior, I knew he was definitely a teddy bear on the inside. I thought he would be good for Christian.

Christian's POV

The last fucker we interviewed couldn't keep his fucking eyes off Ana. I practically threw him out of my office. Let's just say we wouldn't be hiring him.

Jason Taylor seemed like he'd be a good fit for me. He seemed reliable and had a no-nonsense personality, much like Ana's dad in that respect.

"Did you like any of them, baby?"

"I think you'd get along with Taylor."

"Me, too," I replied, "I'm going to hire him. But what about you?"

"I liked Sawyer," she answered. Luke seemed like a good guy. Maybe a bit too good-looking for personal security, but he seemed professional. His eyes didn't linger over Ana's delectable body, so I didn't think I'd have a problem with him.

"You think you'll be comfortable around him all day?"

She bit her lip and replied, "It will take some getting used to. But if it really means that much to you."

"It does. I need you safe."

"Alright. I won't fight you on this."

Ana's POV

Sawyer was going to start following me around tomorrow, and I was dreading it. I already stuck out like a sore thumb at school. Although it was partly my fault because of my fame, having a CPO who wasn't going to allow a stranger to get within a few feet of me was going to be so obvious.

A part of me wished I was just a normal girl going to college. But then I was reminded of everything I had. Financial security, amazing friends, and a husband whom I loved more than life itself.

If having a CPO was the consequence of all my good fortune, I could deal with it.

After interviewing the CPO's Christian and I went home. Jerry was off doing God knows what, so Christian and I arrived at our house to a lovely sight. Kate turned our dinner table into wedding central. There were magazine cutouts of flower arrangements, couture wedding dresses, wedding cakes, wedding invitation ideas, and catering menus strewn all across the large table.

Christian hated mindless clutter, so I knew he wasn't going to like this.

"Kate! Is this what you've been doing all day."

"Of course!" she said like I was crazy, "What else would I be doing?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but Christian interjected, "Katerine, do I need to remind you that this is not your wedding?"

She chose to ignore Christian and proceeded to shove a photo of a very revealing dress.

The bodice was sheer lace, only covering what was completely necessary. The waist of the dress was also made of the same sheer lace material, exposing the undergarments and leaving nothing to the imagination. Not to mention the dangerously low neckline. The skirt started at the upper thigh, and the whole top half of the dress looks more like lingerie than a wedding dress. While I loved dressing sexy for my husband, I didn't think a wedding was the proper outlet to showcase my assets.

"You'd look so hot in this Steele! And it's by Vera Wang. This dress is iconic. I'm sure she's salivating at the thought of dressing you for your wedding. And didn't you say your Aunt Liv knows her? I'm sure she'd design you a dress like this. It's all the rage right now."

"Ummm," I replied, not wanting to hurt Kate's feelings. This was definitely not the kind of dress I envision getting married in.

I wanted to feel like a princess on my wedding day. I didn't want a full ball gown, but I did want a skirt with a body and a long train. And I definitely wanted crystals sewn into the dress. I was thinking sleeveless or off the shoulder. I was thinking of something like Belle's dress from Beauty and the Beast, except in white.

"She's absolutely not wearing that dress," Christian commented, earning a glare from Kate.

"This doesn't concern you, Christian," she fought back.

"Yes, it does. And Ana's not wearing a dress like that to our wedding. Forget it."

"It's haute couture," Kate admonished.

"I don't care if it's haute or froid couture!"

I needed to extinguish this fire. And fast.

"Hey, break it up guys," I said, playing mediator. "Kate, I appreciate how excited you are for this wedding. And I love you, but this is my wedding and what I say goes. And Christian's right. I don't like that dress. I already have something in mind, and I'd love to share it with you."

"Fine," Kate said petulantly, "Take Christian's side in everything. I mean, that's all it's been lately. Christian this! Christian that! If you didn't want me to help with the wedding you should've said so."

Kate threw a pile of papers off the table and ran upstairs to her room.

"Ana, I don't care if she's your best friend. She should never speak to you like that. I want her out. NOW." Christian growled.

"Just let her cool down." I found myself making excuses for Kate.

"Fine, but if she blows up at you again, she's out. Doesn't she have to go back to school soon, anyway? Surely, she can't miss this much class."

"She told me not to worry about me," I shrugged.

"Of course she doesn't care about her grades," he grumbled.

"Why don't I make dinner," I smiled, trying to change the subject.

"Okay, baby. I'm going to change. Jerry says he'll be home soon."

He gave me a kiss before walking upstairs. I had a massive headache right now. I loved Kate, but I was way too overwhelmed with her enthusiasm. Planning a wedding was supposed to be an exciting time, not a stressful one.

I definitely needed Karen and Mia's help. Hopefully, they would balance out some of Kate's neuroticism. But something told me that both of them would be just as excited as her. But I knew those two would be more inclined to listen to what I actually wanted.

I wanted a classy wedding. I still wanted all the grandeur and extravagance, but not in the style Kate was thinking of. When I picked up all the cutouts she threw on the floor, everything I saw was very modern, up to the point where it was almost gaudy.

I hated everything she picked out. The decorations were all weird geometric shapes, the flowers were all wrong in unnatural colors (they definitely didn't go with the silver and soft pink color scheme I told her I wanted), and the ideas she had for invitations were very snobby.

She wanted me to send invitations in boxes. What was she thinking? Was a crisp white envelope with a beautifully embossed card on expensive stationery not enough? This was getting ridiculous. Maybe Christian was right. She had practically taken over my whole wedding in a day!

I loved her, but was it a bad idea having her here? No… I couldn't think like that. She was my best friend, and she was only trying to be helpful.

I picked up everything that landed on the floor and neatly put the papers into piles on the table so as to not freak out Christian who was very OCD about organization and cleanliness.

Christian's POV

Fucking Katherine Kavanagh!

I considered myself a good judge of character, and I never liked Kate. I used to occasionally hear her make snide comments that Ana would brush off. And I noticed that Kate always seemed jealous of Ana. I didn't know if it was because Ana was always more popular than her, richer than her, or if it was because Ana had me, a man who loved her and worshiped the ground she walked on.

Kate was always desperate for any type of male attention. While Ana was fending off unwanted advances from men, Kate was always chasing them, spreading her legs for anyone with a pulse. She was like the female version of Elliot.

After I changed out of my suit, I walked downstairs to see Kate's door slightly ajar. She was throwing all her clothes back in her suitcase, and she looked like she was getting ready to leave.

Good riddance! I would gladly drive her back to the train station myself. Hell, I'd even charter her a private plane if it meant she would be out of my hair.

Ana's POV

I turned on some happy music in efforts to relieve my stress and get started on dinner. I was going to make grilled salmon with couscous and roasted asparagus and some molten lava cake for dessert. Hopefully, that would butter up Kate enough to put her in a better mood.

I took out the ingredients to make the lava cake when my phone started ringing. It was Aunt Liv.

"Hi, sweet girl!"

"Hey, Aunt Liv," I smiled, happy to hear from her.

"How's engaged life treating you?"

"Well considering it's only been a few days… It's been amazing so far," I replied while admiring my engagement ring.

"Have you started planning the wedding yet? Fitz and I would be more than happy to host."

"I was going to call tomorrow. Christian and I would love to have our wedding in the rose garden."

"Oh!" she squealed, "Of course! I'll put the White House staff on alert. We'll need to plant some more roses for your special day."

"We were thinking the 4th of July weekend for the date."

"This year?"

"Yes. You don't think it's too soon do you?"

"Of course not! You and Christian are made for each other. Why wait to make it official?"

"Thanks Aunt Liv," I sighed, still upset over Kate's blow up.

"Is everything okay? You don't sound like a happy bride-to-be."

"I'm just a little stressed out. That's all."

"Talk to me."

"Kate came over from Brown. She's really excited to help plan the wedding, but I feel like she's completely bulldozed me and what I want in only a few days."

"Don't let her push you around. This is your special day. You're the boss here. Not her."

"Thanks, Liv. I really needed to hear that."

"With that said, I'd love to help you plan. I've got a pretty light schedule for the next few months."

"I'd love your help. I was going to ask Karen and Christian's sister, Mia, if they wanted to come this weekend to help. Karen told me she had the long weekend, and I'd really appreciate the input."

"We'll arrange the trip right away. I'll just have to let Fitz know. Maybe he'll make an appearance too. We both want to see you and Jerry."

"That sounds wonderful."

"Oh, and I forgot to mention," she added, "I spoke to a few designers yesterday for the G20 summit I'm accompanying Fitz to. I hope you don't mind, but I mentioned that you were in the market for a wedding dress designer. They were all jumping at the bit to dress you. Vera Wang, Oscar de la Renta, Zuhair Murad, Alex Perry, Ralph & Russo, Clare Waight Keller, Carolina Herrera, Elie Saab. Take your pick, and I'll have them in Boston for a consultation."

Oh my, that was every bride's dream. I was giddy with excitement that all these legendary designers wanted to dress me.

"Of course I don't mind. Thank you so much! I was originally going to go with something off the rack at Kleinfeld."

"There's no way you're getting married to a future billionaire in an off-the-rack gown," she laughed.

"I guess not… Do you think you could schedule meetings with more than one? I have a vision of what I want, but I'd like to see who can bring it to life the best."

"That won't be a problem. And even if you don't choose them for your wedding, I know they'd be more than willing to design other pieces for you, whether it be haute couture or ready-to-wear fashion."

A whole wardrobe designed by Oscar de la Renta and Ellie Saab? Who wouldn't say yes to that?

She continued, "Do you have a few designers in mind? I can call them first thing tomorrow morning to schedule meetings. If you want a completely from scratch, custom dress, we should probably get this done within the month. It could take three or four months to finish the gown, and then they'll have to do minor alterations after the dress is completed."

"Let's start with Vera Wang, Clare, Oscar de la Renta, and Caroline Herrera."

"All good choices," she gushed.

"Do you think they'd be willing to make the bridesmaids dresses as well?"

"They're going to be ecstatic."

"That's amazing. Could you schedule them for the weekend? I'd love it if all you guys would come with me."

"Oh, we'd be honored, sweet girl. I'm looking forward to it. I'll have my assistant send you meeting times tomorrow."

"Thanks so much, Liv. Love you!"

"Love you too sweet girl."

The conversation with Liv put me in a much better mood. Whereas Kate was being bossy and high-handed, Liv only cared about my opinion and what I wanted.

After I put the phone down, I put on an apron to protect my outfit of the day. It was a wool trench, knee-length dress with a belt in burnt orange by Oscar de la Renta. It was perfect for school – professional but still fashionable.

I took out the stand mixer to combine all the ingredients for my delicious chocolate lava cake: butter, flour, powdered sugar, eggs, vanilla, cocoa powder, and melted chocolate.

Christian came down the stairs wearing his comfy clothes. Thankfully, I made sure all his leisure clothes were designer, so he wasn't looking homeless right now.

"Kate's upstairs packing," he informed me, "I'll gladly drive her to the train station."

I rolled my eyes, "Let her cool down. I'm sure she doesn't really want to leave. I'm hoping chocolate lava cake will make her feel better."

Christian looked disappointed that he couldn't get rid of Kate but perks up at the mention of cake.

"I didn't realize my wife was Betty Crocker," he joked, putting a spoonful of the chocolate batter into his mouth. "I love seeing you in my kitchen."

"How chauvinistic of you, Mr. Grey," I teased. "Is that the sole reason you married me? To have me barefoot in your kitchen."

"Why, of course, Mrs. Grey. But I think I'd prefer you barefoot and pregnant," he stated, sporting a huge smile on his face.

'Christian!" I admonished at the mention of me being pregnant.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Pregnant? Pregnant!"

He chuckled, "We talked about kids before. I know we both want them. But we never talked about when."

"Of course I want to have kids with you. But when we're older. Christian, I'm still in school and we're both so busy. And the wedding!"

"I didn't mean this year. But soon. Maybe in two years."

"I'll be in school for three more years."

"You don't have to finish school.," he shrugged.

"Christian! I'm not like you. I need to have a college degree to get a job."

"You don't need to work if you don't want to."

"I can't just be a socialite. Even though I'd be good at it, I'd lose my mind. I have to do something while you're off being master of the universe."

"I'd say you could come work for me, but I know you wouldn't take up my offer. If you want to work, I won't stop you. But do you really need a college degree? You're studying business. Is that really the field you want to go into?"

"No, but…"

"That's the point," he interjected, "Why get a degree in something you're not interested in?"

"I… I… my father…" I stuttered. I had no idea what to say to him. Damn that man. He was always right. I hated studying business. It was not for me.

He shrugged, giving me an 'I told you so' look.

"What do you want to do, baby? Forget about what your dad thinks. He'll support you no matter what you choose."

"I love literature but…" I paused.

I loved getting lost in beautiful tales of romance and heartbreak but as a full-time job? I didn't think it was feasible. The publishing business had been in a steady decline with less and less children reading. And I'd probably have to start as an intern. It could be years before I would even see any manuscripts or be able to offer my opinion on new authors. Even despite the challenges, I just didn't think I was that passionate enough about books to make it my career. I much rather preferred cuddling up with a classic novel to relax than wanting to monetize them.

"But what? I'll buy you a publishing house. You could run it or just be an editor and read manuscripts all day. I want to make all your dreams come true."

"I don't want you buying me a career, Christian. And I don't think I want to make publishing my career. I love reading, but publishing is a whole different monster."

Then came a stark realization. I had no clue what direction my professional life was going in. I was in college studying a topic I hated. I didn't know what I was passionate enough about that I'd want to make a career out of.

"Go with what you're passionate about."

"That's the problem! I don't know what I'm passionate about."

This conversation was making me realize how unfocused my life is. I needed to distract myself, so I got started on dinner.

I put the couscous in a pot of water and set it on the stove to boil.

Then, Christian said something that hit the nail right on the head.

"What about fashion?" he suggested, "You love it. You always keep up with the latest trends and designers. You've practically turned me into a walking G Q model. And you're always impeccably dressed."

I swore this man knew me better than I knew myself. Fashion was always a hobby for me. It was something I loved doing and something that brought me immense joy. But I never thought about fashion in terms of a career.

But then doubt started to set in. My father would not be happy if I dropped out of college and pursued fashion. Plus, the fashion industry was so cutthroat. It would be a thousand times harder to make it in the fashion world compared to publishing. And while I was amazing at selecting from fashion that had already been created, I knew very little about actually designing clothes. I just knew what looked good.

"Christian, I don't think…"

He cut me off, "You love it, don't you?"

"Yes, but as my career?"

"Why not?"

"Well, first of all," I began while picking up a knife to trim the asparagus, "My father would be so disappointed in me if I dropped out of college."

"You don't have to drop out. You can do what I did. Start your fashion house and still go to school. If you're successful and you love it, then you can make the decision whether staying in school is worth it or not. And I highly doubt your father would be disappointed in you for doing what makes you happy."

I argued, "That might be the case. But I still don't know anything about designing clothes, let alone a whole collection."

"Then start off small. You don't have to try to live up to Oscar de la Renta your first time."

"And if I'm terrible at designing clothes?"

"There are other ways to build a brand. Hire the best designers – people you think have talent and potential. You have a keen eye for fashion, so you could curate their work. A creative director if you will. But I highly doubt you'll design anything short of stunning. If it's good enough for you to wear, it'll be a hit."

"You have a lot of faith in me," I mused.

I put the asparagus on a sheet tray, seasoned it with salt and pepper, and put it in the oven.

I put a pan on the stove to sear the salmon when Christian replied, "Of course I believe in you, baby. I'm your husband. I'm supposed to be your biggest supporter. If fashion is something you want to pursue seriously, I'm completely on board. Emotionally and financially."

"You'd invest in me?"

"Yeah. I don't think you'd want to ask your dad for money. And you're sure as hell not taking a loan out from the bank."

And that's when I saw it. I pictured myself working on sketches, designing clothes for fashion-forward women who wanted a modern yet classy look. I saw myself in an atelier, picking out only the best pieces to showcase in my debut collection. I dreamt of having my own runway show at New York Fashion Week.

"Grey by Ana Grey," I stated proudly.

Christian raised his eyebrow at me, looking confused.

"For my brand."

He smiled and replied, "Grey by Anastasia Grey. I love your full name."

Grey by Anastasia Grey did sound better. Much more high-end.

"I do want to finish my first year of college though," I stated, "I'm thinking that after the wedding would be the perfect time to start."

"That sounds like a great plan, baby. And just think of it. We might have two CEOs in the household. And maybe a mini-CEO in the making?"

And there it was. Bringing up a baby again.

"I didn't realize you wanted a baby so soon?"

"Neither did I," he responded.

"What changed your mind?"

"I don't know exactly. But maybe it's the fact that we're already married. And we're financially stable. And we love each other more than any two people on the planet. We'd have so much love to give a child."

Again, Christian made such good points. We may be young, but we were both way beyond our years. We weren't like most kids our age. We would be able to provide everything our child could ever need or want. But at the same time, we were still so young. We had plenty of time to have a baby. We should be enjoying our time together, just us.

"Don't you want to be able to spend some time together as a couple while it's just us?"

"We've had almost three years to be together as a couple. And I'm not talking about having a baby right away. I do want to wait until we're "officially" married. But I was thinking after a year of marriage. Why not? Can't you imagine babies in cute little designer outfits running around the house?"

I smiled at the visual, imagining a mini Christian. A baby boy with grey eyes and dark copper hair, just like his father. Damn it! Now I had baby fever.

"There's nothing more I want than to have your child, Christian. Can we reevaluate in a year? Who knows what will be going on by then."

"We'll wait until you're ready. I don't want to push you into this." He placed his hand on top of mine, sensing the need for contact.

"I just want to make sure we'll be in a good place in our lives. I want to raise my child, our child, the right way. I don't want to hand him or her off to a nanny. I want both of us to have the time for the baby. You might be so busy with how fast GEH is expanding. I don't want to have too much on our plates," I voiced my concerns.

"Nothing will be more important to me than you and our child." His words comforted me.

I gave him a warm smile. Christian was going to be an amazing father. There was no doubt in my mind.

He placed a kiss on my cheek and took a seat to watch me cook.

I took the finished salmon out of the pan and onto a serving tray. I then checked the couscous and was satisfied, so I used a fork to fluff it up a bit and put it into a serving bowl. The next thing I did was take the asparagus out of the oven and put it on another serving tray.

The lava cake was going to take about half an hour, so I put the batter in ceramic ramekins then placed them in the oven. They should be done by the time we finished dinner, so they would be perfectly warm when we started dessert. And we still had tons of vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Yum.

I was just about to call Kate down for dinner when she came tumbling down the stairs with her luggage.

"Kate? Don't leave…"

She interrupted me, "Don't worry about it, Ana. I booked a train back to Providence. And I called an Uber. I'll be out of your hair."

I wanted to argue with her, but it looked like her mind was already made up. She violently opened up the front door and ran straight into Jerry who was just getting home. She didn't even say sorry and dashed out of the house.

"Did you scare her away, C?" Jerry snickered.

"Something like that," Christian laughed.

I thought about running after her, but if she was going to act like this, I didn't want to bother.

"Your mom called me today," I informed Jerry over dinner.

"Wow, and she doesn't have time to call me back," he replied.

I giggled, "She likes me more than you. Anyways, your mom and Karen are coming this weekend."

"Why?" he asked.

"To plan the wedding, obviously. And Liv is setting up wedding dress consultations for me this weekend, and I want them to come."

"So C scares away Kate and you need to call in reinforcements?"

"Hey, in my defense," Christian interjected, "she was being really difficult. Ana doesn't need stress in her life right now."

I opened my mouth to defend my best friend, but I couldn't. While she may not have deserved that verbal lashing from Christian, she was not helping me relieve the stress of planning a wedding, she was adding to it.

"Can I come with you guys?" Christian grinned, "I could help you get in and out of the dresses."

"You perv!" Jerry exclaimed.

"You can't see the bride in her dress before the big day. And I won't be trying on any dresses. I'm getting a custom dress, so we're meeting with a handful of designers to see who can bring my vision to life."

"Okay, Miss Fancy Pants."

"Seriously, Jer. How old are you?" Christian chuckled.

"Oh, I want to invite Mia as well, Christian," I informed him, "Maybe your mom would like to come too?"

"That's probably a good idea. Mia would have a fit if she was left out. And Grace will definitely say yes."

"Perfect," I squealed, "I'll call them after dinner."

"Ahhhh!" Mia screamed at me through the phone. "I'm so excited. We're going to meet Vera Wang and Oscar de la Renta! I could die!"

I just told Mia the designers we would be meeting with to discuss my wedding dress. Let's just say Mia was having a minor freak out right now.

"I know Mia. I'm super excited too. They're going to be designing the bridesmaids dresses too, so I hope you have a design in mind. I'm only asking that the dresses are pale pink. That's the color scheme for the girls."

"Me! A bridesmaid?" Mia squealed.

"Of course, you. Who else would I ask?"

"Oh, Ana. Thank you so much. I love you!"

"I love you too, Mia. Can you put your mother back on the phone?"

"Yeah, I'll go get her."

I could hear her screaming 'Mom' in the background noise.

"Hi dear," Grace said.

"Hey, Grace. I can have Christian charter you two a plane. Carrick's welcome to come as well. I know he and Christian had a disagreement…"

"Oh, don't you worry about him. I had a stern conversation with him this afternoon. I'm so furious with him. I can't believe he would stick his nose in your business like that."

"It's really okay, Grace. He's a lawyer. And I'm sure he was just looking out for his son's best interests."

"Even so, he was totally out of line. He'll be staying at home this weekend trying to figure out how to make up with Christian. And don't worry about a plane, darling. I just booked first-class tickets to Boston."

"Christian would feel more comfortable if you were flying private."

"Oh, never mind him. The child becomes so successful and is now trying to charter me a private plane. He's ridiculous. Tell him Mia and I will be just fine slumming it in first class."

"Will do," I laughed. "When does your plane get in? At least let us pick you up from the airport."

"Friday at 9 pm." Shit, that reminded me. I'd have to finish furnishing the other two spare bedrooms.

"Alright, we'll see you then."