The phone began to ring. 'I'll get it!' DJ's babyish voice cried out and he ran to pick it up, hoping to beat both his older sisters to the phone. It wouldn't be difficult - they were both upstairs. 'Hello, the Conner residence,' he said into the receiver.

'If it's your Grandma Harris, tell her we're not home,' Dan called to him. His voice was lazy, he was slumped in his chair - a beer in one hand, the other stretched up behind his head, his hand burying into the couch cushion. Gladiators was on T.V. Over on the sofa, Roseanne shot him a dark look. He ignored it and took another sip of his beer. 'Oh real good parenting there, Dan, teaching our children to lie.'

'I'm not teaching him to lie - you did that already. Kid was lying before he could walk. This is just getting some practice in.' He flashed a grin at her - mouth open and teeth together, like a Cheshire Cat. She pretended not to smile back. There was a long silence from the kitchen and eventually Roseanne rolled her head against the back of the couch so she could peer into the next room and find out what was going on. 'D.J!' She yelled through to him. 'Who is it?'

He came back into the living room, still carrying the phone - the long wire stretched out behind him. His face was puzzled. 'It's some lady called Mrs. Squires. She wants to talk to Becky. She sounds mad.'

Dan and Roseanne looked at each other - puzzled, worried … a bit pissed off. 'Give it here D.J,' she hauled herself off the couch and took the phone from her son. 'Hello? This is Mrs. Conner, Becky's mother - what's this all about?'

If Becky had done something that she needed chewing out for, then Roseanne was gonna do it herself. No one was taking that from her, it was her favourite sport. Blood sport. But hell if she was gonna let some strange lady yell at her daughter, without knowing there was a damn good reason for it first.

'I wanna speak to your daughter,' Mrs. Squires yelled down the phone. 'I wanna find out the name of the thug she's dating. Bobby won't tell me - maybe he's afraid - but all I know is my boy came home tonight covered in cigarette burns courtesy of your daughter's boyfriend and I wanna know exactly who he is so I can call the cops on him.'

'What?' She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

Dan glanced over at her from his place in the chair, 'Rosie, what's going on?'

But she shook her head at him, and turned her back - facing into the kitchen. 'I'll talk to Becky,' she told the irate woman, 'believe me - if she knows anything, I'll make her wish she was never born.' She hung up the phone, marched to the foot of the stairs and then yelled up them - her voice coming out like a bark. 'Be - cky!'

Becky came bounding down the stairs, in response to her summons. 'What's going on?' Then she took one look at her mother's face and sighed and rolled her eyes. 'Oh - jeez what'd I do now?'

'What's your boyfriend's name Becky?'

'What?' Oh boy - no, she couldn't know. Not already.

'Your boyfriend - who is he? What's he like? Does he think it's OK to go round assaulting people?'

'What? I don't … I don't have a boyfriend. I don't know what you're talking about.' She smiled - but it was a nervous one. She was trying to make it sound like she was genuinely clueless, like she thought her mom was crazy ... but she didn't want to overplay it. This was a delicate balance.

Dan was still sitting in his chair, looking between his wife and his daughter. Something big was going on - that was for sure, but no one was telling him squat. Roseanne was angry, Becky was … on the fence. Defensive. Whatever was about to happen could go either way. 'D.J go upstairs,' he told his son. D.J rolled his eyes but did as he was told. Then Dan leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. 'What's going on, Rosie?' he asked again.

Roseanne turned so she could speak to him, 'that was Mrs. Squires on the phone, her son, Bobby, got beat up tonight - by Becky's boyfriend. And she wants to know his name so she can call the cops on him.'

'Bobby?' Becky said in disbelief. Roseanne rounded on her, 'so you do know him?'

'I was seeing him but … we broke up.'

'You broke up with him for another guy?'

But Becky held her nerve - didn't even blink. 'No. There's no other guy. I just didn't like him.' That was true in the end. He'd turned out to be a sexist jerk.

'Ha! You expect me to believe that?'

'Roseanne,' there was something of a warning tone in Dan's voice. But when he spoke again his tone was gentler. 'If Becky says she knows nothing about this then she knows nothin' about it. I dunno why you're believing the word of some lady on the phone over our daughter.'

'Oh I'm sorry have you not met our children, Dan? Didn't you just say they've been lying since before they could walk?'

'She says there's no guy - so there's no guy. End of story.'

Becky felt herself relax inside, as her dad backed her up. Though she felt a small twinge of guilt - she was lying. And Dan believed her. He'd be hurt as well as furious if he ever found out. She struggled to not let any of this show on her face.

But Roseanne was laughing derisively. 'Oh you can be so naive, Dan!' she yelled at her husband. 'I believe Bobby Squires got beaten up tonight because Bobby Squires has the cigarette burns to prove it.' She whirled back to face Becky and yelled at her instead, 'this guy you're so desperate to defend burned this boy twice - deliberately - one time on his face.'

'No!' Becky shook her head. She was yelling too now, 'Mark wouldn't do that, Mark's not …' and then her eyes widened in horror and she clapped her hand to her mouth as she realised her mistake.

Dan got to his feet. 'Mark?' he asked. His voice was quiet, but deadly dangerous. 'Mark? That punk ass kid we told you to never see again? That Mark?'

'I didn't see him again,' Becky shouted. Her face was red and screwed up with anger now. They were always getting on at her, always making their judgements. They'd never even taken the time to get to know Mark - just decided he was bad news and put a stop to her seeing him. It wasn't fair. 'I never saw him again just like you told me. But he came to school today. All we did was talk.'

'Well you must have done more than talk, Becky - 'cause apparently he's your boyfriend again,' Roseanne wasn't screaming any more. But her voice was still hard and angry. She sounded weary as well - tired of the fighting, tired of the lying, tired of this phase Becky was going through.

'Did you agree to go out on a date with him?' Dan asked - there was still so much danger laced into the way he was speaking.

'There's a party on Friday,' Becky looked desperately between both her parents. 'We were both gonna be there. But that's all, I swear.'

'Oh you swear - like you swore a moment ago you didn't have a boyfriend. And now it turns out you do - and it's the one kid we told you never to see?'

'Yeah - we were just gonna be at the same party. That's all. It was nothing.'

But Dan suddenly slammed his hand down on the sideboard, making Becky flinch. 'Lying again, Becky! Well you're not gonna see him at that party - 'cause you're grounded for a month, young lady. Now get up those stairs - I don't wanna look at you.'

Becky's eyes filled with tears. 'You're always ruining my life - bossing me around. I hate you both!' and she turned and ran up the stairs, her footfalls thundering with every step. Then there was the sound of her bedroom door slamming. Dan kicked the couch.

Roseanne looked at him, 'so what do we do now, Dan?'

He brought his hands up to his head and ran his fingers through his hair, 'call back Mrs. Squires,' he suddenly sounded tired and defeated. 'Give her the kid's name. Let her call the cops on him.' He sank back down into his chair. 'Maybe throwing him in jail is the only way we can stop Becky from seeing him.'

Roseanne stared at where her husband was slumped morosely in his chair, stewing in his own anger and disappointment. She raised her eyes to the ceiling - thinking of Becky up there, probably crying. She shook her head and sighed deeply as she headed back to the phone. 'Jeez - I really do need to teach my kids to lie better,' she muttered to herself, 'why couldn't D.J have just said we were out?'