Hey-ooo!
Just two quick things I gotta say.
1. Big thanks to everyone who's following this story! I really didn't expect even half this many people to enjoy this, considering how random it is. Hell, it already has nearly as many followers as my other fics, which took 2+ years to have near this amount of followers. Guess I gotta keep this going for a while, eh?
2: To follow that, I'm going to try and establish a schedule for chapter releases. Now I've never actually been able to follow my planned schedules in the past, but expect at least 1 to 2 chapters per week depending on my college workload. I can promise you guys at least that much.
Anyways. I'll shut up now. Enjoy the 2nd Food Fight of Remnant!
Yang pulled the covers over an exhausted Ruby, who had finally gotten the expired snacks out of her system. Her little sister looked precious all curled up and asleep, minus the small dribble of vomit still in the corner of her mouth. The blonde wiped it away with a tissue brought over by Zwei.
"Thanks, buddy," Yang smiled at the dog, "I think you've earned yourself some extra leftovers from dinner as long as you stay away from Cinder's trash can. You know that isn't good for you to eat."
"BARK!"
Stroking her sister's hair, Yang couldn't help but smile lightly at the lightly snoring girl. This was just like how things had been when they were both little, and Yang couldn't help but miss doing things like this for Ruby.
"Sleep tight, Ruby," Yang went to kiss her sister on the head when she heard a man yelling from somewhere in the house, soon followed by Blake's voice. "Oh, great. It's started already. Come on, Zwei. Let's go check it out."
Just as she stood up and opened the door, she heard the sound of a table breaking. Things had escalated very quickly. And if the food fight at Beacon was anything to go by, then a fight between twice as many people would surely cause more damage.
"On second thought, you stay here Zwei."
The Corgi watched her sprint down the hall, waiting for her to completely vanish before trotting back into the room to check on Ruby and his special meal in the trash can.
Ren was the first casualty of the war.
The moment Nora had jumped up to proclaim the start of battle, her fist decked him straight in the jaw and knocked him out cold. He probably didn't mind that too much, as he would be spared from watching his food get utterly destroyed. Not even realizing she had knocked out her best friend, Nora took two handfuls of peas and tossed them into the air. As the little green orbs rained down upon everyone, she jumped up on the table laughing maniacally.
"That girl is mad!" Roman shouted, taking aim at Valkyrie with a grapefruit in hand. The spirited girl must have sensed him as she cartwheeled down the table and tossed a hunk of mashed potatoes into his face.
Neo didn't take too kindly to her partner's elimination, and started throwing pancakes like ninja stars trying to hit Nora. Most of them landed in her mouth, but one found its way onto Weiss' face soaking her with cold, syrupy ice cream.
"Eew!" Schnee tried flicking the sticky substance off her to no avail as Blake couldn't help but laugh. Seeing her partner covered in such an odd mixture made her forget all about Adam. "Quit laughing at me!"
"I can't help it!" Blake said between breaths. The Faunus wouldn't be immune much longer as Weiss whipped the pancake off her face and slapped it across hers. Unfortunately Adam caught sight of this as he pulled himself up and out from under his Lieutenant.
"My darling!" Taurus shouted, crawling up onto the table only to slip on some spilled soda, "I will protect you!" Pulling himself over the piles of food like a zombie without legs, Adam was unable to avoid Sun's who had done a backflip to dodge Mercury's lobbing of an entire ham. The monkey's two feet stomped down right onto his spine. "GAAAH!"
"Sorry about that, dude!" Sun apologized, flipping away and grabbing a banana with his tail.
"Boss!" the Lieutenant cried out as he watched Sun crush his boss's spine. Making the mistake of standing completely upright, he was knocked right back down by Mercury's projectile. Black clenched his fist in sadistic satisfaction, happy to have made contact with something, all the while oblivious to Emerald behind him, preparing to dump a punch bowl over his head.
Seeing her subordinates taking each other on, Cinder noticed that no one had taken notice to her and prepared to make her escape. Things were getting too uncivilized for her tastes-
*SPLASH!*
A cold red liquid drenched over her body, causing her to shudder all over. Glaring back, she saw Mercury and Emerald holding an empty bowl smirking at her. "We couldn't just let you walk away, you know."
"In any other situation, you would both be dead," Cinder closed her eyes, breathing deeply. In the blink of an eye she grabbed hold of two full drinking cups and splashed both of them in the face, grinning ear to ear. "Consider yourselves lucky today."
Now, in all of this chaos, Jaune and Pyrrha had managed to stay perfectly seated in their chairs without being disturbed by the fight around them. Nikos in particular was quite depressed, as all of her work on setting such a fine placement had gone straight to Hell.
"Don't feel too down, Pyrrha," Jaune tried to comfort, "I think we both had a feeling something was going to happen."
"Yes, but I did not expect something of this caliber…" Suddenly Jaune's finger stroked over her nose. Pyrrha lurched back in surprise, not just from him touching her but from the warm gravy that he placed on her.
"Gotcha."
That goofy smile of his was contagious. Giving him a sly smile of her own, Pyrrha leaned in close to him. Very, very, close…
"Uh, Pyrrha… That's a little – COLD!"
Her distraction worked perfectly: Jaune was too focused on her face to see her hand reach for his glass and pour it onto his crotch. A double victory for her. Soon, Jaune had recovered from the sudden freeze and joined Nikos in lobbing food at everyone else.
The war took a turn when the Lieutenant recovered from being whacked by the ham. Dazed, disoriented, and unable to see, Adam, he went into full-on rage mode. Grabbing the table he lifted it over his head with Adam, Sun, and Nora still standing on top. Roaring in rage, he chucked it towards the window behind him. Sun and Nora jumped off just in time but Adam was not so fortunate.
"LIEUTENANT!" Adam shrieked as he felt himself falling, "YOU SON OF A BIT-
*CRASH!*
At that very moment, Yang burst into the room ready to get her food fight on. "All right! The party is… here?"
The entirety of the room looked at her silently, food and drinks coating their bodies. Upon seeing her, the Lieutenant shuddered and realized who was not among them.
"ADAM! I'M COMING!"
"NO!" Taurus yelled from outside, clearly in pain, "Stay away from me you bastard!"
With the burly Faunus leaping out the window, Blake stepped forward to Yang with "Release of the Snow White Magnolia" in her hand. The feline put the book in Long's hand, shrugging. "Guess Adam doesn't like porn that much."
Yang had to say it. "Guess he couldn't keep himself up with the plot."
"…That was bad, Yang," Blake said, trying to keep a straight face, "That was really… really…"
She couldn't hold it in after all of this. Both she and Yang burst into laughter, followed by most of those standing behind them; even Cinder did her best to hide a smirk. Deciding to clean up the giant mess tomorrow the entire gang filed out of the room, friends and enemies side by side and laughing for the first time ever.
Except they had forgotten the one whom without they wouldn't have had this experience.
"Whoops!" Nora quickly ran back into the room, pulling a still unconscious Ren away by his ankles. She grinned at her friend for making all of this possible. "Thanks, best buddy. You're the greatest."
"Lord, help me."
Ozpin closed the monitor screen, rubbing his temples. He had been viewing all the transpired events through the penthouse's multiple hidden cameras since the group moved in, and was less than pleased about this recent damage. This whole thing had already cost him enough money, and a broken window was just icing on the cake. Pivoting in his chair, he flipped off the radio in his RV's dashboard. The camper was parked inconspicuously out of view from the penthouse, with a cameo paintjob to better blend it into the surrounding trees. Being so cleverly disguised, Ozpin didn't expect someone to knock on the side of his hideout.
"Yo Ozpin! You in there?" a gruff, raspy voice called from outside the door. Ozpin pulled the man inside, nearly catching his cape in the closing door.
"Mr. Branwen," Ozpin said, adjusting his glasses, "May I ask what you are doing here?"
"Just chekin' up on ya," Qrow said, picking his flask from off the floor, "Heard about this thing yer doin' with the kids and had to see it for myself."
"Did Glynda send you?"
"Maybe, maybe not," the drunk lounged in the front seat and took a swig, "But hey, at least you have some company."
"I do not believe I requested for any."
"Tough luck, Oz. As long as this thing plays out, I wanna see how it ends. So I hope you have some booze stashed away in here, or we're gonna have to spend a little extra cash tonight."