Realized I had been spelling Pyrrha's name wrong this entire time.

And she's supposed to be my favorite character. Some fan I am. Sorry, Pyrrha. Still love ya.

BTW, this chapter was inspired by a reviewer suggestion, and I tweaked it just a little bit. Shout-out to 'Bigtoenails' for the inspiration!

"So, how does whiskey sound to you?" Qrow asked Ozpin as he viewed the camera feed. The drunk was browsing his laptop looking at 24 hour alcohol delivery services. The headmaster groaned, taking a sip of coffee as Branwen clicked the order tab.

"Is alcohol even necessary for this? You're going to destroy your liver, you know."

"Already killed that part of me a while ago," Qrow smirked, peaking over at the screens, "So, what're they up to?"

"Not much, surprisingly. Miss Xiao Long and Mr. Black are playing video games in the basement. It appears to be a sort of driving simulator game, with an odd amount of guns and explosions."

"Might wanna keep an eye on them. Yang gets pretty competitive with those."

"Will do. Hmm…Miss Valkyrie seems to be asleep in her room. Must have eaten too many waffles-

"Wait. You put cameras in their rooms?"

"Is there something wrong with that?" Ozpin asked, with legitimate surprise.

"Uh, yeah," Qrow raised an eyebrow, "First off, it's creepy as hell. Second, they're hormonal teenagers. You're probably gonna see some serious shit one night. You were young like them once, just like I was. We know what they think about."

"…Studying and chess?"

"Goddamn. Even your childhood was boring."

Ozpin continued spying on the housemates, pushing Qrow's insult to the side. "On a side note, I saw Miss Rose let Adam and his associate back into the house earlier. She truly is a kind soul."

"Yeah, letting a psychopath and his just as crazy partner back in was the best thing she could have done in that situation. I'll have to talk with her about that one. God knows her father won't do it."

"How is her father anyways?"

"Let's not talk about him right now."

"Why not? You two were excellent teammates back in the day."

"He knocked up my sister, Oz. He knocked up my entire team because he doesn't know how to keep his pants zipped."

"…So he cheated on you first, I presume."

Qrow rubbed his temples. That alcohol couldn't get here any slower.

"Oh dear," Ozpin said suddenly, "That isn't good."

Qrow immediately stood, leaning in for a better look at the tiny camera feeds. "What happened?"

"You were right about Ms. Xiao Long. See?"

In the uppermost right feed, an angry Yang was pummeling on an unseen Mercury, his body on the ground in front of the couch. The blonde didn't seem too intent on stopping anytime soon.

"Oh, shit," Qrow said, "He cheated."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I've been in his position before. There's a glitch on that map that puts the car in last place at the finish line."

"I don't know much about video games, but that sounds like a serious mistake on the developer's end."

"It sure as hell is," Qrow continued, as Yang continued her assault, "Yang loses her shit whenever someone exploits it. But she'll get over it once she knocks you unconscious."

"That is slightly disturbing."

"And you spying on them isn't?"

"There is a difference between violence and unknown observation. A massive one, at that." Going back to the scuffle, they saw that Yang had vanished. "Well, that is that. Is there anyone you would like to check on in particular?"

"Sorry, but I'm not going to share the role of creeper with you."

"You're watching these screens with me, aren't you?"

"…Just check on Adam."

"Excellent choice."

Ozpin traced his finger over the screen, trying to pinpoint the Faunus on one of the cameras. Soon enough, he was found lying prone in a hallway with his Lieutenant's body thrown on top of him.

"Hmm. Seems he is still unconscious from the beating Miss Xiao Long gave him a few hours ago."

"Should probably talk to both of those girls now," Qrow muttered, "Taiyang can't raise normal kids even if he tried."

"Well, seeing as your choice is currently immobile, I say it is my turn," Ozpin searched again, enlarging the screen when he found his target. "Ah. There she is."

"That's one of hers, isn't it?" Qrow asked, squinting at the girl with obsidian hair, "She looks kinda familiar…"

"Indeed. Cinder Fall is her name. She is quite imposing, compared to the others."

"Is that why she's cuddling with Ruby's dog?"

Sure enough, Cinder was curled up on her bed with Zwei in her arms. She nuzzled her face into the corgi's fluff just like a little girl would. Ozpin and Cinder just stared at the screen, unsure of what to think.

"Are you saving these recordings?" Qrow asked, "This would be some juicy blackmail against her."

"Why wouldn't I be saving this footage?"

They continued watching as Cinder took off her shoe and tossed it for Zwei to fetch. After the dog retrieved it, she picked him up and squeezed him just as the door to her room opened wide and Weiss walked in.

"Oh, this will be good," Qrow pulled his chair over beside Ozpin, leaning in intently as Schnee began laughing and pointing at a flustered Cinder. The former stood up with clenched fists denying her innocence as the Ice Queen continued mocking her. In the blink of an eye, Cinder was on top of Weiss and ripping at her hair. Pyrrha and Jaune came in from off camera to break up the catfight, and Zwei felt it would be a good idea to leap up and bite Arc right in the behind. "…Hey, Ozpin. Weren't you saying that building this penthouse almost broke your bank account?"

"Yes, I did," the Headmaster responded, eyes glued to the screen.

"I think I know how to get you some cash back." Grabbing his laptop, Qrow logged onto Beacon Academy's Student Networking page. He plugged a cord into his device and connected it to Ozpin's camera modem. After a few minutes of clicking and linking, Qrow had a live feed of the cameras online, for any students back at Beacon to watch. "All I gotta do now is set up a donations account, and we can actually benefit from this whole thing."

Wide eyed, Ozpin looked at the laptop. "Won't Glynda find out?"

"What's the worst she can do? Scold us?"

"No. She could hurt us."

"Look, Oz. You're the Headmaster of Beacon Academy, and you're in charge of all this. I'm just helping you out on the business side of things. Now, do you wanna make some bucks off of this or not?"

Ozpin paused, before smirking at Branwen. "You know, this is quite a tone shift for you. Only a few minutes ago you were calling me a creep for spying on these kids, and now you want to broadcast it?"

"You know what they say, Oz: If you can't convince them to stop, just give up and join 'em."

"I believe the exact phrasing is 'If you cannot beat them, join them'."

"…No wonder Glynda can't stand you."

Hours passed and day turned to night as Qrow and Ozpin watched their new business venture become an instant success. Students at Beacon were donating in waves to support their fellow classmate's exploitation. Glynda had tried calling Ozpin's phone at least 20 times before sending a threatening text telling them that his punishment would come once they returned to the school. But that was still 29 days away, and the men couldn't have cared less.

"Oh, look!" Qrow pointed, "Sun's got his tail stuck in a door!"

"Where?" Ozpin asked excitedly, "That will surely boost our donation rate!"

With their attention focused on the Faunus' misfortune, the men didn't notice the delivery truck pulling up to the house on the front door camera until it was too late. Out of the corner of his eye, Qrow saw the vehicle drive off, as a giddy Torchwick ran into the house with a crate of whiskey in his hands.

"Aw shit!" Qrow leaped up, stumbling over wires to reach the R.V door, "I knew I shouldn't have put in the house's address for delivery!"

"Wait, what is going on?"

"They've got my booze! I'm going to take it back!"

Before Branwen could leave, Ozpin snagged hold of his cape. "Calm yourself, Qrow. We are only allowed to interfere once. It's in the rules."

"But that's my whiskey! I spent $100 on that crate!"

"I understand your frustration. But think: if we let them have that crate, imagine how many more donations we will receive."

Qrow looked at the Headmaster, dumbfounded. "You're talking about giving alcohol to minors, just for some quick money?"

Ozpin nodded once. Qrow smirked devilishly.

"How the hell did you get anywhere in life?"

"Stretching the truth, Qrow. Many, many, many times."