Day 3/30

Every morning, I wake up and realize that my life is quite enjoyable.

Being what I am (a ball of happy, bouncy fluff as Master Taiyang calls me) grants me many benefits and opportunities. Nobody can resist me, for I am cute. That is a fact. Even the vilest of souls have fallen for my smiling charm. Just look at the Crimson Bitch, as Master Ruby's friend Snow White calls her. My Corgi charm is irresistible, and has worked its magic on all those I have met.

Except for one: The Black Cat.

She fears me, for I am cuter than her. Or so I believe. I cannot think of another explanation for her strange behavior. Now that I think about it, most cats are afraid of me. Do all cats envy my fluffy behind?

Regardless, I have found this new home to be quite bizarre. There are many people here I do not know, and after today, many I wish I had the pleasure of never seeing again after this.

My name is Zwei Rose-Xiao Long, and this is a recollection of a day of my life in this crazy home.

Today's morning was just like any other. I awoke beside Master Ruby, who had returned to her bed while I was asleep last night. Apparently she had opted out of partaking in a 'drinking party' after some slight stomach issues. I know that Uncle Qrow enjoys the substance quite much, but it seems the taste for it does not run in the family.

Like always, she scratched behind my ears and set me on the floor. Master Ruby is so kind. My left ear is always itchy in the early hours of the day. If only my legs were not so stubby, then I could save her the trouble.

I look over at the other beds, and see the Crimson Bitch was already gone. Chef was still asleep, as was Snow White. Master Ruby told me not to bother her, as she was having what she called a 'hangover'. I know not what the term means exactly, but I have seen the wrath of Snow White before and know not to incur it. Just ask the Crimson Bitch how it feels.

You may be wondering how I can identify my human housemates by color. You see, I am an enigma within dog-kind. Unlike my inhibited brethren, I can see the rainbow of colors that is visible to many other animal species on this planet. It is merely another one of the amazing gifts I have been bestowed with upon birth. Its up there with my exceptionally adorable smile and fluffy buttocks.

I stepped out into the hall, and say the Lightning Viking heading to my room once again to awaken Chef. I pity that poor boy. Perhaps I will bring him the gift of a dead bird to please his spirits.

Luckily the door to Master Yang's room was opened, and I could slip right in. To my surprise, she was not within it, nor was The Black Cat. I caught the red-haired one searching through The Black Cat's drawers with the assistance of Pansy-Ass-Bitch (as Master Yang refers to him often). Upon spying me, he threatened to send me into a dark abyss in which I would not return. Truly, he has earned his title of Edgelord.

Not wishing to hear one of his long-winded tirades, I descended the staircase. Hopping down those steps is quite enjoyable, as it makes any human around me lose their composure and bask in my cuteness. Today's victim was The Spartan Princess, a kind soul to everyone and myself. She happily picked me up and took me to the kitchen, where I received a delectable treat for my charming ways.

After consuming my morning snack, I found Master Yang waking up in the lounge. Oddly, she had been holding The Black Cat in her arms while resting on the floor.

That was unacceptable: I am the only black-and-white creature she is allowed to hold.

I approached her and found she was having a slight headache from the activities she had participated in last night. The Black Cat was squirming slightly, awakening once Master Yang released her hold. As she reached out for her, she touched me instead and instantly opened her eyes in shock. Never before had I seen someone escape from drowsiness and sprint away so quickly.

My dominance asserted, I followed Master Yang back to the kitchen, where I would successfully earn more treats for my cuteness.

The midday was quite mundane. I spent most of it on the couch beside Miss Ice Cream watching the picture screen. I enjoy the multi-colored woman's quiet demeanor; it is a stark contrast from that of my owners and is a nice deviation from the norm. Her acquaintance, however, is a different story. Mr. Candle does not seem too fond of me, possibly due to his distaste towards creatures and Faunus folk. Luckily, Miss Ice Cream defends me from him by taking him away to another room for some time. I know not what she does for him, but she always returns with a smile on her slightly red face and he is nowhere in sight.

I really do not ponder the thought, as I rather enjoy how she scratches my butt. Her nails are slightly longer than Master Ruby's, and do an excellent job of penetrating my fur.

Monkey Boy dropped by once, hopping over the couch and nearly squishing me. I nearly bit his tail in fright, but he apologized by petting my head.

Take note: if you want to be on my good side, pamper me. I will reward you with cuteness.

Per the daily schedule, Master Ruby takes me outside so I can relieve myself. The yard is quite nice, with many bushes to mark as my own. The Jade Ninja was practicing her athletic skills out there, stretching and flipping all over the place. She values physical fitness greatly; an admirable trait if I do say so myself. Though my plump behind and tubby body may suggest otherwise, I too am quite fit for my stature.

I found a present for Chef underneath a large tree. Cardinals are quite a rare find, so I think he will enjoy it greatly.

On another note, I wonder if Uncle Qrow and the other fellow hiding out in the woods will pay me a visit soon. That poorly concealed van does not look like a comfortable place to spend the day.

My favorite time of day is dinnertime, when I can work my Corgi charms to their fullest. Yesterday I had tested the waters and found out who would feed me the most. Master Ruby sneaks me her vegetables (Master Yang disapproves of this greatly; I myself do not mind), and the Spartan Princess gives me one roll every time I pass by her chair.

One housemate I find great amusement in is her secret crush, Vomit Boy. A quirky yet awkward fellow, he seems nervous around me after my well-intentioned greeting from yesterday. It was only a playful bite to his behind, but he apparently saw it as aggressive. I believe he is in need of a present as well.

Walking underneath the table is a fun experience. So many different legs and shoes for me to sniff. The Black Cat sits cross-legged in her chair so I do not brush up against her. I saw her running her finger along Master Yang's thigh to tease her, and found it unacceptable. I made my presence known to her by barking underneath her spot, causing her to jump up and scurry away.

Another interesting secret I discovered involved the one boy I call Steel Toe. His entire lower legs are mechanical! My curiosity piqued, I decided to conduct a somewhat undignified experiment on him. After marking my territory on his artificial legs to see if they would eventually rust and inhibit his movement, the meal ended and I followed Master Ruby back up to our room. Surprisingly, Edgelord caused no ruckus tonight. I feel Master Yang being there nullified any potential outburst he might have thrown. Why he seeks out the affection of The Black Cat I will never understand.

Today was quite exhausting, as is any day in the life of a Corgi such as myself. My tiny legs do wear out on me quite quickly, and I find myself tired by sunset. As Master Ruby changed into her pajamas, I retrieved my present for Chef and brought it to her so she could place it under his pillow. After an odd smile, she told me that he would love it before walking briskly out of the room. I do hope she did not hide it for herself; it would be so unlike her to be so selfish. It was a nice cardinal, though. Pristine condition, a perfect find. I would not blame her for being envious of it. She seems well deserved of a gift, now that I ponder it. I would make a list, if not for my lack of opposable thumbs.

Master Ruby plopped me back up on her bed, and I made myself into the comfortable position that I sit in right now as I recollect my thoughts. I look forward to what tomorrow may bring, and expect some sort of mischief to happen. Today was surprisingly calm, and I doubt the people of this household can keep this kind of mellow environment for two consecutive days.

Until next time, chaps.

~Zwei Rose-Xiao Long.