The kid kept side glancing at him and was sitting as far away from him as possible. He had hesitated to get into the passenger's seat but after a moment he did, despite how he was practically hugging the door.
They drove in silence for a majority of the time, Dean glanced at him periodically and the few times their eyes met the kid seemed close to throwing himself out the window. A mixture of emotions coursed through him and he tried to gain control over it, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.
Finally, it was the kid that broke the silence. "Where are we going?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly.
"You did something and we're going to see what it is exactly you did." Dean told him. "And I'm really hoping that this is the real thing."
"I didn't do anything." the kid mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself. He took a deep breath and Dean noticed that his hands were shaking.
"You did and it might very well be a really good thing." Dean told him, taking a moment to just look at the kid, remembering what Sam had said on the phone.
"Then what did I do?" the kid asked, taking a chance and looking at him.
"You'll see." Dean told him, turning back to the road ahead of them. His eyes went to the clock on the dashboard, they'd be there in less than thirteen minutes.
He couldn't stop thinking about Sam, about the fact that apparently the kid had been the one to help bring her back to life. In the short conversation they managed to have so much had been said.
She didn't blame the kid, she didn't think of the kid like Dean was. All he saw was Lucifer's kid, what had been forced onto his sister, and the reason that his sister was dead.
She saw her son and her son, their family. It had been only them for so long, then mom had been given back to them for a short while. And now there was another person, another being that shared their blood.
But it was hard to look at him. Maybe if Sam had been there the entire time, if the birthing hadn't killed her, it would've been easier but he'd never been the best when Sam was taken from him. The first time she had been killed he had thrown himself into hell to bring her back to life. When she had gone to hell herself with Michael and Lucifer it was only because it was her dying wish that he had gone to live with Lisa and Ben and even then he couldn't find his happiness.
He wasn't going to lie and say that he'd never thought about Sam having a normal life, wishing that he could give her that, and a normal life included having a partner she would marry and have a baby in their future.
But his imagination never went that far, his mind never made another person in Sam's life that would help to create the baby. In his mind it was always the three of them, him, Sam, and the baby. He'd be a male role model in the kids life, he and Sam would argue over the best way to raise the kid, but it would just be the both of them and the kid.
But on his own? Sam died from birthing the kid and it just being the both of them? That wasn't something he ever thought or even considered, and it just made everything all that more worse.
And if he was being honest with himself, he took it all out on the kid because he was the only one here to be taken it out on. Lucifer was trapped in an alternative universe with their mother, Sam had been dead, and as a result, he lashed out.
Should he apologize? Would the kid even understand what he was apologizing for, would he accept it out of principle or because he wanted to? The kid had reached for him multiple times and each time Dean had not only pushed him away, but also literally punched him away a few times.
He didn't even have a name. Sam didn't name him and he hadn't picked him one, nor had the kid picked one.
Or even if he did, he hadn't told Dean, and why would he have told him? Its like not
Dean glanced at the kid again, this time he looked back at him and didn't look away.
"Do you have a name?" he asked quietly.
The kid hesitated but then spoke. "Mom...she told me that she had wanted to call me after someone that meant a lot to her. She told me about...her dad, grandpa?" he tried before he shrugged. "John I think, but she never really gave me a real name."
"You didn't pick one?"
"I wanted mom to name me." he said quietly, turning his head to look down at the floor of the car. "But she wasn't here so...I wanted you to name me instead."
The kid was definitely Sam's kid, he wore and used the Winchester guilt and even with no experience he knew how to hit Dean right in the heart.
Or at least he knew how to hit Dean once that he was actually listening to him.
"Dean? Where are we going?" the kid asked again.
Dean let out a deep breath. "You did something, and if it's the real thing, it's a good thing. A really good thing."
The kid looked at him again. "So if it's me, I did something good?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly.
"Yeah kid, you did something good." Dean said with a tense nod, trying to untangle the emotions rushing in his chest as they finally reached the gas station and there, just a few feet away, was Sam turning towards the impala's engine. "You did really good."
Dean didn't bother to park the car, just stopped the car in place and threw the door open. Sam had immediately ran towards him and it took barely a moment for her to launch herself into his arms, wrapping their arms around one another.
"Sammy." he whispered his voice cracking, holding her tightly yet tenderly. Logically he knew that he should test her. Holy water, silver, all the standard procedures. He buried his face in her hair and neck and just breathed her in, holding her as close as he could to himself. "Sammy."
"Dean." Sam whispered, clinging to him just as tightly. He could feel her cry softly and he moved enough to stroke at her hair, his fingers getting caught in the strands. "Oh god, you're here."
"Course." Dean said his voice heavy. He pulled back enough to look at her, really look at her, and he managed a smile, just grinning at her. She grinned back at him, gripping at him before her eyes went to the impala and her eyes widened. Dean turned as well.
The kid had gotten out of the impala, staring at Sam almost reverently. He slowly walked towards her, his eyes just moving over her as if to memorize every last detail of her.
Sam stared back at him, a touch of confusion on her face before it disappeared. She moved towards him as well, slowly and carefully. They were inches apart and stopped, just staring at one another.
"Its you." Sam whispered. Her hands were shaking as they reached for him. "You're him. You're...mine."
The kids face crumbled and he reached for her, leaning into her touch when her hands cupped his face. His hands came up to hold hers and there were tears in his eyes.
"Mom." he whispered, voice breaking and legs buckling. Sam moved the rest of the way and immediately wrapped her arms around him, holding him close.
"You're my son." Sam whispered, holding him close. "You're my son."
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