(Notes: I listened to Lonely Together by Avicii and I Hate You, I Love by Gnash. Listen to them before or afterwards.)
SATURDAY
Thump. Marinette frowned, wiping her tears and putting down the half-finished sketch. Did, had she heard something…? She glanced at the wall clock, 1:30. It was pretty early. Tikki peeked over the edge of the loft, looking straight at their chosen. Well that answered that. It couldn't be an akuma, since Tikki wasn't hurrying to her side. But at least it was a good distraction from what had happened yesterday, on Friday no less ugh. "Where is it?" Marinette muttered, looking through her desk as softly as she could. She was not in the mood to deal with this, it was just a distraction from the thoughts swirling in her head "Clumsy, shy"-stop! Marinette shook her head. Aha! Pepper spray in hand, she crept up the stairs to her loft, laying her weight on it as gently as she could. Marinette nodded for Tikki to get behind one of her pillows, who readily obliged. Not an akuma, the only people who would be on her roof at this time at night were most likely burglars. She would be ready.
Channeling some of her Ladybug confidence, soft as a quiet breeze, Marinette lifted up the window hatch and peeked through. Green eyes blinked at her, a wide grin underneath them. "OH HELL NO!" She sprayed them in the face, their yells intermingled with hers as they scrambled away. Marinette ducked down, slammed the hatch shut, and locked it. Well, if they were trying to scare her, they succeeded!
"OW cough HOLY HELL MARI cough NETTE!" She paused halfway down the ladder. Mon dieu, they knew who she was?! This was even worse! What if they broke in and dragged her away? Her parents would never know what happened! What if they broke the hatch and destroyed her room looking for valuables?! What if- "Marinette!" Tikki shouted from behind a pillow. Right, right, someone still out there! Don't get caught up in the spiral!
Someone scratched at the hatch. Marinette grimaced; whoever this was did not let up. But, somehow, that voice sounded sort of familiar…Marinette turned on the lights outside. She didn't want to be caught unawares again. She opened up the hatch again, the person scuttling backwards from it and against the balcony railing as soon as she stood up. "I still have pepper spray and I am not afraid to use it," Marinette announced. She really hoped they weren't a murderer or criminal, or-don't spiral! But that voice… Awash in the pale light of flickering lightbulbs that she really should get fixed, her eyes swept along the messy blond hair, black leather suit-"Chat Noir?!" Marinette gaped. What was her partner doing, visiting civilians? And her no less? And why did he have to pick tonight?! At least it was Friday! That was the only silver lining to her situation right now!
"H-cough hi. Ow." He waved awkwardly, eyes still slammed close and grimacing. "Any cough any-uh reason cough you attacked one of Paris's cough superheroes?"
Okay, Marinette was feeling really bad now, but did he really just ask that question? She slipped the spray in her pocket and cocked her hip. "At one thirty in the morning, can you really fault me for thinking you were a predator? One of Paris's superheroes visiting wasn't on my mind." She winced, stepping onto the roof. "But I am very sorry."
Marinette snorted as her partner tried to wink, then hissed at the air pressing against his abused eyes. He scratched the back of his head embarrassedly. The motion was strangely familiar. "Heh, cough I-uh-didn't really think-think cough about that. Did-didn't cough consider that I would cough make a Princess nervous." Marinette blinked at the nickname. Princess? That was new. "I'm cough sorry." His cat ears flopped down nervously. He looked so earnest.
Her head and her heart fought. Marinette knew she shouldn't entertain him. She couldn't, shouldn't cross this bridge. It was dangerous for them, for Chat to display favoritism with any civilian, especially her. And with what had happened today…Hawkmoth could easily take advantage of the fact, so logically she should just say sorry and send him on his way. She, Marinette, can't be friends with Chat as a civilian. It was the most logical thing. It was the safest thing. But she was the one who had hurt him, albeit accidentally but justified. She had to help him, it was her fault. And he looked so sad slumped against her balcony… Marinette knew she would hate herself tomorrow, but…it was her own fault. She needed to make it up to him.
"So, what cough happened?" Chat asked. Marinette hummed and didn't answer, instead stashing the pepper spray into a drawer and shutting down her computer. Steam rose from the two hot chocolates cooling on her desk.
"It says that the effects will wear off in either half an hour or a couple of hours." She winced, climbing into the loft.
"What are you doing?" Tikki hissed, glaring at her from behind a pillow. Marinette frowned.
"I-I was the one who hurt him! I-I have to help, so, just stay low." Marinette whispered, grabbing a couple of blankets from her bed. Going back down the steps, she wondered what Chat's kwami looked like. Maybe a black cat? Since Tikki looked like a ladybug…Hmm, something else to ask Chat next time on patrol. Marinette laid one blanket in Chat's lap and snorted softly as his ears twitched, trying to tell where she is. Taking both of the hot chocolates from her desk, she pushed one into his hands, taking careful note of his claws. "So you'll be stuck with me for a while." Chat frowned. Marinette expected him to scoff, or pun about dragging to the cat in.
"I like cough being with cough you Princess."
Oh. Um, was it getting warm in here? Face heating, Marinette grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. She was extremely grateful now that Chat couldn't easily open his eyes. Picking up the other hot chocolate from the floor, she leaned against the base of the chaise, Chat cross-legged by her feet. "Is-is that why," Marinette swallowed. "O-one of Paris's beloved superheroes is here so early in the morning? I-I doubt Ladybug would approve. And you don't need, to worry about me." Marinette spoke around the scratchiness in her throat. "It happens every day."
Chat frowned and shrugged, still not facing her, claws tightening around the mug. He took a long sip. "Ladybug…doesn't cough know. I-I was cough trying to get home and re-remembered cough one of my favorite civilians lived here." He sighed, smiling apologetically. "Guess cough I didn't realize how early it was."
"Oh." She was stalling, they both knew it. Marinette just didn't want to talk about it. She took a sip of her hot chocolate, the warmth sloshing through her limbs. It felt nice.
"But what happened today to make such a lovely Princess cry?" Chat turned to her, red-tinted sclera staring mournfully. Marinette winced. It will wear off, but still, she had done that to him. Inwardly, Marinette scoffed. She had seen her kitty's kitten eyes too many times for them to be effective. The words 'I'm fine' were on her lips, expecting him to pun back, when he continued, "Please, don't pretend to be okay for my benefit."
Oh, okay wow. This, this was a different Chat than the one she knew. The Chat she knew liked to goof off and flirt, always cocky and outgoing, taking hits for her. He was always by her side and called her out on her faults, but still had confidence in her. She had never seen this softer side to him. Ladybug had never seen this side.
Marinette blinked rapidly, trying to shove back tears that threatened to choke her. "It-it was just some stupid words," A crumpled copy of a smile crossed her face, "It about happens every day, I'm used to it." She repeated. Chat seemed surprised at the words, worry flashing across his features.
"Well well well. Marinette Dupain-Cheng." Chloe sneered the moment she walked through the door, "You're looking as horrible as ever." Marinette just rolled her eyes and ignored her rival, getting into her seat. Alya gave her a worried look, frowning at the the two mean girls. In the background, Marinette listened to the classroom's hub of voices, falling and rising.
Why did Chloe always have to pick on her? It was the last day of the week, last period. Couldn't she give it a break? Marinette scowled as Chloe planted a hand on her desk, Sabrina following. Alya growled and was just about to speak when Chloe cut in.
"So you're a Ladybug fangirl huh? Ha! As if Ladybug would ever look at you. Clumsy, shy, untalented Marinette, always too flustered to talk to her crush." Sabrina smiled cruelly from behind Chloe. As if on cue, Adrien walked through the door. The entire class stared at him. Two girls in particular balked; one smiled delightedly and the other froze in horror. "Oh Adrikins! Come over here?" Adrien just walked up with a confused smile, it melting when he noticed Marinette. Marinette sunk in her seat, giving him a little wave.
Alya and Adrien spoke at the same time, "Chloe stop whatev-" "Hey Chloe, what-"
"Marinette has a crush on you!" Chloe shouted triumphantly. The school bell rang, and Mrs. Bustier swept in. "Good afternoon class, today we're studying French classical authors!"
Alya gasped. Marinette gaped. Mon dieu, what-why?! Why would Chloe do that?! How could she do that?! Marinette turned to Adrien, trying to form words. He was frozen in place, eyebrows taut, mouth stretched in a thin line and about to open. Even in the depths of her shock, Marinette waved her hand. "May I go to the bathroom?!"
"Um, yes, just don't be too long." Marinette bolted, only subconsciously registering Adrien's and Alya's cries. She ran into the bathroom, startling a group of first years who quickly left. Marinette locked herself in one of the stalls. She sat down heavily on the seat. Tikki slowly floated out of her purse and said nothing, just nuzzling their chosen as Marinette sobbed.
"-cess? Marinette? Snap out of it! Please, talk to me!"
"Huh?" She came back into the real world. She stared at Chat confusedly. He was clutching her forearms and bent underneath her, his wide eyes searching hers. She guessed whatever he saw worried him as his frown deepened. What did he see? Did he, could he know? No, no, of course not. She was just spiraling again. He let go and tapped his pointer claws together.
"Um, can-can I..?"
Marinette gave him a tired smile and shuffled over to the left. He scooted next to her, looking up every couple of seconds to gauge her reaction. She sniffle-laughed and Chat paused, wide-eyed. Her kitty looked so cute when he was worried about her. He settled into place on her right. Marinette laid her head on his shoulder, and Chat froze. Her heart thumped loudly. She wondered if he could hear it too.
A light silence settled over the two, Chat biting his lip. She had started to slump against him, and he watched Marinette's pigtails bounce with each breath she took. Marinette seemed to be almost asleep, she hadn't opened her eyes in a while. Maybe, maybe he could…? He gently tugged her closer to him.
"It was Chloe," A soft whisper broke the quiet. Chat paused and fought down the instinct to shove his hands in his pockets and start whistling.
"What-what was?" Oh, he knew, he remembered. Inwardly, Chat bared his teeth. He hadn't known Marinette liked him, though it did explain why she was always so flustered and shy around him. She didn't hate him like he feared at least. But he didn't want to have found out through Chloe! And in front of the entire class no less!
He felt a tiny laugh rattle through her. "She always picks on me, and of course I don't like it- who would? But sometimes, sometimes I do deserve it. She accused me of stealing a bracelet from her, and I accused everyone else. That-that was a-a bad day. But I'm used to her-her…attacks." Oh Marinette…Don't cry, please…
"Y'know, for such a nice person, you're not really treating yourself decently. I don't think you deserve it Princess, Chloe just...bullies people." He sighed. "Just because you're used to it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt," Chat said lowly. He certainly knew how that felt with so many things. His father, his crush… "I-I love Ladybug, and she-I don't think she takes me seriously." He laid his head against the chaise and stared at the ceiling. "I think about her all the time, as a civilian and as me. Ladybug's just so amazing in so many ways. She's so smart, always knowing what we need to do, and seeing her fight is something I look forward to every day. I get lost in her beauty every time I fight alongside her. The first time I saw her, she dropped out of the sky. Literally." Chat chuckled, his eyes glazed in reminiscence. "We got tangled up in her yoyo, so it wasn't the best of first introductions. But when I saw her in action, Eiffel for her. When we fought against Stoneheart, she was so unsure. But she kept going anyways, fighting and outsmarting him. And when she stood on the Eiffel Tower, and said that we will always fight against Hawkmoth and save the day, Eiffel in love with the girl behind the mask. Her courage and determination were stronger than her fear of failure, and that's just so miraculous to me. But I know Ladybug doesn't feel the same way as me. I just hope that one day she might. I respect her, I'm willing to wait."
Chat fell out of his reverie and shook his head. He took another sip of his, now lukewarm, hot chocolate. Talking that long really hurt his throat. Chat looked to the side and froze. Marinette stared at him. Tears shimmered in her aquamarine eyes, and Chat could see little gold flecks in them. Ooh shoot, maybe he shouldn't have declared his love to a girl who was in love with his civilian self…Chat scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips. Yeah, that wasn't the best idea he had. She buried her face against his side.
"..." His ears twitched at the sound of her quiet tears. And of course he made her cry. Could he…? Slowly, uncertainly, he stroked her hair. She hummed quietly, it vibrating through his chest and almost making him purr. He fought down the urge with difficulty. "She-she told my crush I like him. And now he knows, and I don't know what to do."
Chat swallowed. Now he knew Marinette liked him. But why did she like him? As a civilian, he was just his father's polished, pretty model. He had to keep his emotions in check, and his personality. What was there to like? "Why do you like him?" Chat hoped he didn't sound jealous. From the look Marinette gave him, he didn't manage it.
"He's amazing! How could I not like him? He's so kind-hearted, putting up with Chloe, even though he doesn't have to, and really shouldn't. He's super hardworking, his grades are probably way better than mine. Especially physics." Marinette grimaced at the mention of the subject. "And he's selfless and considerate, remember when he let me play instead of him in the Mecha Strike III tournament? Granted, I-uh, was originally trying to do it with him." Marinette grinned apologetically at Tikki's frown.
"Marinette…"
"And he's absolutely gorgeous." Marinette leaned on her desk, a lovestruck smile on her lips as she gazed at one of the posters. She turned back to Tikki, a light blush dusting her cheeks. "Plus, he's really kind. Do you remember when he gave me his umbrella? But, really, he's simply a really good person. I've never met anyone like him."
"….Adrien is all of those things Marinette. But doesn't he also seem, sad, to you? Lonely?"
Marinette spoke slowly, her words muffled against his suit. "He's very…sweet, and kind. He puts up with Chloe even though he doesn't have to, and really shouldn't. He is selfless, and considerate. Really, he's a good person." Marinette looked up at Chat, narrowed eyes red with tears and cheeks flushed. His mouth popped in a surprised 'o'. "Really, he's like you."
Chat sputtered, pupils thinned in 'surprise'. "Wh-like me? Noooo…." Was she using him? That was the million-euro question on Marinette's mind as she stared at her partner. She was Ladybug, and he didn't know. Or was-was he using her? No. She hadn't known the extent of his affection for her, for Ladybug.
But Marinette liked Adrien. And Chat loved Ladybug, and she was Ladybug, but she also isn't. And she was…knowing that Chat is Adrien, whichmeant that…Adrien liked her. But the way he talked about Ladybug, he was head over heels, happily-ever-after in love with her. Ladybug was the only thing Chat saw. But Chat said he fell in love with the girl under the mask, so... Marinette didn't know what to think. She glanced at the clock, 3:00. She still had to help in the bakery tomorrow.
Marinette yawned and placed her hand on Chat's arm, cutting through his nervous ramblings. He stared at her, hands stilling and mouth closing. "I'm-I'm sorry Chat Noir, but I have go to sleep sometime. And I'm sure you need to too." She flicked his nose. Wrinkling it automatically, he mirrored her smile.
"Of-of course, I hadn't realized how early it was." He tried to get up the chaise and pick her up. Chat swore as instead he slipped on the blanket, crashing on the floor. Marinette gasped. Both paused. With that loud of a sound…Chat's ears flickered, hearing nothing below. "Sorry, Princess."
"Are you okay?" Marinette whispered, helping him up. He nodded and picked her up, bridal style. With shy grins, he climbed onto her loft, laying her on the bed. Marinette slipped under the pink and white covers. She heard Tikki squeak and murmured a soft apology. Chat started climbing out of the hatch. "Goodnight Chat."
He paused, halfway through. Balcony light flooded in from the hatch, casting a warm glow on Marinette. It curved over her black pigtails and gave her a slight halo. It lightened the white pajama top she wore, and caught the slight glint in her drooping aquamarine eyes. Chat grinned and gave her a two finger salute, "Good night Marinette."