Sam had decided to take a shower instead of doing anything else. Her searching on her laptop was giving her no results and Dean and Johnny were still cooking, she didn't want to bother them, she wanted her own thoughts for the time being.

Dean hadn't moved anything, leaving all of her things in the same place she had left them. She grabbed a fresh pair of clothes to change into and stepped into the shower, making it as hot as she could handle.

She tilted her head back to let the water wash over her, hands coming up to grip at her arms as she tried to breathe in and out slowly. She grabbed her shower gel and poured it over her loofah, slowly washing herself with it.

Bit by bit her motions started to get rougher and rougher, the fabric scrapping along her skin until it started to irritate it. She scrubbed harder and harder, almost relishing in the pain of it. Her nails started to get dragged along as well, cushioned slightly by the fabric, but soon enough red lines started to appear from them.

A choked sound escaped her as she continued, everything fading as she tried as hard as she could to scrub herself clean. She wanted to dig under her skin, wanted to rip it off and rip herself free. She wanted to tear away the parts of her that Lucifer touched and she wanted to clean herself of him.

Her nails raked over her skin and she didn't care how it tore into her, didn't care how the repeated motion made blood start to sluggishly move down her body, staining both her and the bathtub.

She wasn't even aware that her legs weren't holding her up anymore, having all but collapsed onto the floor of the bathtub, sobbing and choking, her arm moving weakly as she tried to keep cleaning herself.

Dimly she could hear the door open and a rush of light suddenly filled her vision as she breathed heavily, not even trying to control herself anymore.

"Sammy? Sammy!" Dean's voice called to her, as she choked and tried to focus. The water was turned off and tender hands were cupping her face. "Sammy?"

A small, cut off whimper escaped her and she leaned into his touch, hands coming up to grasp at him clumsily. She didn't care that she was naked, they had seen each other naked countless times, all she needed was her brother, needed him to be her stone number one again.

A towel was wrapped around her and carefully Dean picked her up bridal style, carrying her carefully and closely.

She didn't bother to try to move, didn't bother to try to talk, didn't bother to do anything. Just let her brother carry her back into her bed, sitting down on the edge, and just holding her, rocking her back and forth. She could feel the vibrations of his murmurs, whatever he was saying.

It didn't matter what he was saying, it just mattered that he was here and he was with her, that he was comforting her as best as he could and that was all she needed. She could feel a small pain in her arms when Dean touched them lightly, her nails having done quite a bit of damage on her skin.

"Mom?" came a broken, scared filled voice. She still couldn't force her vision to clear but she tried to turn towards the source of the voice. She could feel someone else there, just inches away, another comforting presence that she could register as family.

Another pair of hands held onto one of her hands, curling around her comfortingly. Dimly she could hear the kid almost crying softly, but his hands were steady and with Deans arms around her as well, she felt herself slowly start to relax.

A warmth radiated from the hands that were holding hers that slowly spread over her entire body and carefully, piece by piece, she could feel her body heal over. The cuts she had managed to make healed over and whatever blood that had been spilled faded from her skin.

"Its okay, we got you Sammy." Dean whispered, rocking her back and forth a bit more. The other pair, Johnny a corner of her mind told her, held tighter onto her hand. "We got you, it's going to be okay."

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