Ozpin tapped his finger nervously on his cheek. He could feel the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead as he stared blankly at the monitor, awaiting for impending doom to come upon him in one form or another.

She wasn't going to be pleased with how long he has had the cameras off. Breaking the rules briefly to stop some cops was one thing, and the power going out was unpreventable, but doing it now for an unspecified reason was something else entirely. She didn't know Qrow was here with him (at least he didn't think she knew), and her finding out about his 'assistance' would surely cost him victory.

Maybe he could convince him he was just some dirty hobo who just wandered into the jeep at night, and-

*BEEP-BEEP*

Ozpin froze as the small symbol for his webcam began blinking on his taskbar.

"Speak of the devil…"

For a moment, he almost didn't click on the icon. But then again, doing that would make things even more suspicious from her point of view. After the single click, Ozpin's eyes met the pure red, malice filled ones of his greatest adversary.

"Hello, Ozpin."

"Hello… Salem." The demonic war queen stood before a backdrop akin to hell, with black clouds hovering over a desolate landscape. Apparently she couldn't afford a van, so Ozpin checked that off on his 'Ways I'm Better Than The Old Hag' list he had stored in the front of his mind. "And what can I ask this sudden face-to-face is about?"

"Oh, Oz," Salem crooned, giving him the smuggest of smirks imaginable, "So skilled at playing the innocent party. You really didn't think I'd notice those cameras being turned off?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lying already, I see. I hope you don't think I'm as stupid as most of the people you know."

"It was worth a shot, I suppose."

"Care to explain yourself then?"

Sighing, Ozpin lowered his head in shame as he thought of some sort of excuse. He had trained himself for these kinds of moments; thinking of crack-pot explanations in tight situations was his greatest skill.

"I… I must confess. I've done something incredibly wrong, and I am ashamed of myself. I hope you can excuse this incident and not hold it against me."

Salem grinned, amused by his guilt. "I might, if you tell me just what it is you've been doing."

Ozpin began to hold his breath to make his cheeks blush slightly. "Well, you see… When a man is alone in a van for slightly over a week, surrounded by computer monitors, he becomes... curious."

"…Go on," Salem slowly raised an eyebrow. Surely, he hadn't been doing that, of all things.

It was then Ozpin knew just how to cut this call short. "I believe the best way to tell you is to let you listen for yourself."

"I'd rather not," Salem answered quickly.

"Please, I insist," Ozpin assured, opening up a separate window on his screen. He typed Vixens of Vale Unleashed into the search bar, a site he had heard many male students speak highly of during lunch period. Clicking on a tasteful looking video, he cranked the volume up to eleven so Salem could hear even the smallest of sounds. "It is too vulgar to describe with just words."

Cringing as moans and slaps projected from her side of the call, Salem cringed and covered her ears. "T-Typical of you, Ozpin! This only shows how much of a failure of a man you are!"

"If you do not hold this against me, then I will turn this off," Ozpin said, giving her his best fake shameful face, "The cameras will go back on once I am finished."

"Fine!" Salem snarled, pointing a menacing finger at Ozpin, "But no more mulligans! Next time you fail, this bet is mine!"

The webcam window went black as the witch cut off her feed. A smile of victory on his face, Ozpin basked in his win as he plopped back down into his chair. Never before did the sounds of pornography feel so satisfying…

And then the door burst open.

"Ozpin!" Ironwood bellowed, stomping into the van with a snickering Cinder behind him, "It's time to… What in God's name?!"

"Uh…" Ozpin stammered, as screams and spanks filled the awkward silence, "Hello, James… I can assure you, there is a perfectly rational explanation for-

"I doubt that."

As Ironwood stomped towards the Headmaster. Cinder pulled out her phone and took a quick snapshot. Because looking at a picture of Ozpin just before getting the shit kicked out him in front of porn was never going to stop being funny.

"I'm telling you, this is a bad idea," Weiss said as she followed Ruby up the steps. Behind her was Blake, Yang, and a reluctant Neo whom Roman sent along to make sure the combatants hadn't damaged his belongings. Sometimes the tiny woman even wondered why she stuck around with him aside from one reason.

The free money, of course. Don't be a pervert.

"Aw, relax!" Ruby assured her as they reached the top of the steps, "It can't be that bad- Uh-oh."

As they reached the top of the stairs, they were greeted by the body of the Lieutenant, the big guy rubbing his aching head. Just before that, a blur of black and red had leaped over him with two swords in hand. In an instant, they all realized that blur wasn't Qrow or Winter.

"A-Adam's awake?" Blake winced, her bow quivering slightly.

"And he's got weapons," Yang said, grabbing hold of Neo's collar as she tried to slink away, "This isn't good. With that barrier around the house, we're at a pretty big disadvantage here. No aura means one slash can hurt us. Or worse."

"We have to do something," Ruby said, "Uncle Qrow and Winter are tough, but I don't think they can hold him off alone."

"But how can we take him down?" Weiss asked, "None of us have our weapons. The only one who can out-muscle him is the Lieutenant, but I don't think he's getting up any time soon!"

Suddenly, Neo perked up. Tugging on Ruby's cape, she began typing words on her phone before handing it to the team leader.

"Neo says Roman has his Melodic Cudgel under his bed," Ruby said, reading off the phone, "If one of us can undo the safety then we can use it to take Adam down!"

"Their room's all the way down the hall," Weiss said, peeking around the corner. She could see her sister and Qrow dodging Adam's attacks, but they were still exhausted from their own fight. It wouldn't be much longer before one of them took a hit. "Some of us will have to help distract Adam while the others get Roman's cane."

"We can do that," Yang said, "Short-stuff here is a pro at that, let me tell you."

Neo began to shake her head in protest, but Weiss knew how to deal with her type. "Look, if you help us out, I'll split my winning with you. 80-20. Sound good?"

Never before had a criminal been swayed so quickly.

"I'll help too," Blake said, clenching her fist, "I won't let Adam hurt anyone else."

Smiling, Ruby nodded and gave them a thumbs up. "Alrighty then. Let's do this thing."

"So, you got a plan Ice Queen?" Qrow grunted, gripping his shoulder as Winter backed up beside him. The two stared down Adam as he stopped to catch his breath, brandishing the two rapiers at his side. Adam was much younger than them, but he was just as skilled with a blade as they were.

"I wish that I did," Winter replied, brushing back a lock of hair from her eye. She turned her attention back to Adam, who was preparing to attack once more. "You do realize that this won't end well for you? Once General Ironwood returns, you'll be spending time in a jail cell where you belong!"

To her surprise, Adam began to laugh. Slowly at first, then nearly uncontrollably. "You think that is bad?! Ha! I've been rejected by my mate, thrown out a window, stuffed in a doghouse to sleep outside during a damn hurricane, and have been sexually assaulted by my own soldier! Prison is an upgrade from here! This house is Hell on Earth!"

As Adam continued ranting about his experiences, Winter and Qrow noticed Team Ruby and Neo sneaking up behind the Faunus. Yang put a finger to her lips, hushing the two to not give their presence away. Having paced back to the end of the hall, Blake began running at full speed towards her former partner.

"I await whatever that place has for me! But first I'm going to kill you all-

Before he could finish, Adam fell forward after taking Blake's running dropkick straight into his spine. He rolled back onto his feet, pointing a sword at Belladonna.

"…Why must you hurt me, Blake?" Adam growled, "It didn't have to end this way. All you had to do was submit, and no one would have to die."

"You are right," Blake said, looking at Adam with determined eyes, "It didn't have to be this way. But you just couldn't change."

Having been distracted by Blake, Adam didn't see Neo coming at him from the right as she delivered a swift kick into his side. Taurus stabbed towards her as he hit the wall, but the short woman arched her back instantly. He continued to attack at her, but for every slash he swung Neo dodged with ease. As they fought, Ruby and Weiss rushed past them to check on Qrow and Winter.

"Uncle Qrow!" Ruby hugged her uncle, keeping him on his feet, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just a bit bruised. Mostly from Winter, though."

"Not the time, Branwen," Winter scolded, gripping her side, "I assume you all have come up with a strategy."

"Just leave this one to us," Weiss smiled, pulling her sister towards Roman's room, "You two need to rest."

Down the hall, it was Yang's turn. Though she lacked Ember Celica, she could still throw a mean right hook. Striding in as Adam focused his attention to Neo, she hit him with a left body blow, then with an uppercut as he spun around to see his new attacker.

But Adam was not going down so easily. Falling backwards, he hit Yang with a big boot to the chest, knocking her to the floor. He thrust his sword down at her, and Yang barely moved her face away in time as the blade cut through part of her hair.

"Oh you're in for it now!" Yang snarled, sweeping Taurus's leg out from under him. Seeing the opportunity for a team attack, Neo kicked the descending Faunus back up with her heel as Blake gave him a taste of her foot with a jumping roundhouse.

"Just give up Adam!" Blake yelled as Taurus pushed himself back up, "This is your last chance!"

"I… I won't!" Adam roared, "I won't lose to any of you!"

Grabbing hold of the end of a nearby coffee table, Adam flipped furniture towards the girls. As they dodged the table, Adam strafed around it and shoulder-blocked Yang.

"Yang!" Blake cried out. She ripped a curtain off the wall and swung it at Adam. He sliced through it with ease, and ran through the parted fabric at Blake. He released one of his swords and grabbed Blake by the neck with his free hand, holding her up above him.

"You've failed me," Adam said, tightening his hold on her throat, "After all of my discipline, all of my love, you still reject me. This is your final punishment."

"Blake!" Yang shouted, running towards Adam but stopping when he raised the tip of his other blade to Blake's heart.

"I wouldn't move," Adam grinned widely, "My hand might slip. You took her from me, and I'll gladly take her away from you."

Gritting her teeth, Yang stepped back. "Put her down, you bastard. NOW!"

"I don't think so," Adam retorted, starting to walk down the hall with Blake, "We're going to my room to settle this. And once we're done in there, I'm coming for the rest of you."

However, Taurus had lost track of one of his opponents. Slowly unzipping her jacket, Neo sneaked up behind Adam staying low to the ground before hopping up and wrapping the white garment over his face, tying its sleeves in a knot. Blinded, Adam let go of Blake instantly and began swinging his blade in Neo's direction, narrowly slicing through her under-sweater at the waist.

Neo couldn't have acted at a better time. Down the hall, Ruby, Qrow, Winter, and Weiss emerged from Roman's room, the younger Schnee holding Melodic Cudgel in her hands. "Somebody! Catch this!"

The cane went flying down the hall, zooming past Blake and Yang towards Neo. The short woman raised her hands to catch it, but a large muscular arm grabbed hold of it first.

Studying the weapon in his hand, the Lieutenant looked around him, then at Adam. He stared at his unhinged leader, who had dropped his sword to pry Neo's jacket off his face. Adam threw it to the ground, smiling devilishly at his Lieutenant.

"Excellent work, Lieutenant!" Taurus said, pointing at the girls around him, "Now blast them away!"

The Lieutenant looked at the girls, who seemed ready to fight him if necessary. His gaze fell on Neo in particular; of all people to help Team RWBY, he was most surprised by that minuscule sadist lending aid to stop Adam. He had realized that even Cinder, Mercury, Roman, and Emerald had done their best to try and integrate themselves into this household, having made peace with quite a few of their supposed enemies. He himself had made comrades in Ruby, and did his best to make amends with those he had wronged before. The only one who hadn't even tried… was Adam.

"…I love you."

"What did you just-

It took Adam a second to comprehend what he had just heard. But by then it was too late.

*THUNK!*

There was a collective gasp from everyone around as the Lieutenant cracked Melodic Cudgel across the side of Adam's head, shattering his half-mask into multiple pieces. All eyes fell on the big guy, who stood over his unconscious leader. After kneeling down for a moment, the Lieutenant tossed the cane to Yang and walked down the steps, holding a fraction of Adam's mask in his fist.

"Uh…" Ruby scratched her head, as her and Weiss joined the others, with Qrow and Winter following close behind, "What just happened?"

Blake approached Adam, picking up Winter's sword and handing it to the elder Schnee. Looking at the empty stairway, she smiled softly. "A miracle, Ruby… Simply a miracle."