Chapter 17: Her Sanctuary

The War room was deathly quiet. Lilith stared at the smashed echo before turning and punching a locker, taking the door clean off.

"Fuck," she said again, backing into the wall. She put her face in her hands and began to sob. Maya and Axton were most likely killed, and she couldn't even get to them. They probably would never even be able to give them a proper burial. And what's worse, she never got to tell Maya how she really felt. Lilith felt robbed of an opportunity, and poor Maya and Axton had been robbed of the biggest opportunity-their lives.

She pushed herself from the wall and started for the balcony, staring out at Sanctuary, the city that two of their own had lost their lives over. Was this an impossible war? Was she to lose everyone she ever cared for? She felt as though a knife was twisting in her heart, and for the first time ever she lost the will to carry on.

Roland's voice broke her thoughts, "well I'll be a son of a bitch."

She whirled around and felt the breath leave her body. There stood Maya, in all her bloodied glory. She looked like a blood splattered angel, looking right back at her. She couldn't believe it, surely it must be some cruel joke, but this was real.

Maya's heart was beating hard and she too was at a loss for words when she saw Lilith. Her makeup was running, she could tell she had been crying. Probably not getting enough sleep either, but she was the most beautiful thing Maya had ever seen in her life. For a moment she just stared, taking in the sight of the goddess, before her feet moved all on their own. She didn't even remember crossing the room, past Roland and Mordecai, past the smashed echo and overturned locker that were the remnants of her lovers pain.

Her lips were on the red heads, she had made the first move. She took Liliths head in her hands and pressed her bloodied mouth to the Siren's with reckless abandon. The kiss was needy and full of desire. It was desperate, so desperate compared to their other few kisses they shared. She opened her mouth slightly and slid her tongue between those blood red lips eliciting a moan from Lilith. She took her lip in between her teeth, biting lightly causing her to shiver in her hands. Lilith was hers, she needed her to know that. To know how much she meant to Maya, for Maya to kiss her and take that first step.

She didn't want to break the kiss, the fire of it gave her an addictive warmth that she thought she would never feel again. But she knew all the things she wanted to say and do could not be accomplished here. They needled to brief the group on what went on, and get a god forsaken shower and some food.

She parted with Lilith slowly, her teeth dragging achingly slow off of her bottom lip. They stared into each others eyes, saying so much with just a look.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry.

I've missed you.

I need you.

The sound of Roland clearing his throat broke their trance, Maya stepped away with a reddened face while Lilith stood in her cocky stance, a hand on her hip.

"I-im sorry," Maya stammered, looking from Lilith and back to the group. "Right, I guess we should give you the low down on what happened."

Axton nodded and looked around the room. "Angel has the fault key. Now, I know what you're thinking, she betrayed us. But I think she's been forced to. It sounds like Jack has her locked up somewhere and has been using her the whole time to gain power. I think she genuinely wants to help us, she went behind Jack's back to even get us back here. And now, I think he knows. We haven't heard from her since she calibrated the fast travel for us."

"She nearly got us killed," said Roland darkly.

"I know," Maya piped in. "But why would she go out of her way to get us back here? She could have easily left us to die back in Overlook. She must have wanted us to get back here for a reason, and that can only be for us to stop Jack."

Roland sighed, "I guess we don't have a choice. Maya, Axton, you both need to go pay Dr. Zed a visit, and get some sleep. We all do. It's good to have you guys back, you guys really gave Jack a run for his money back there. If you hear anything from Angel, let the rest of us know. We will all regroup soon."

Axton stood and left the room, heading downstairs to his own. Maya slowly turned around, walking across the hall to what used to be her room. She already saw it on the way up, she assumed it was taken out by one of Helios' attacks. Now it stood as a crumbling open room with little more than a few feet of concrete to stand on, the open sky laid out before them as Sanctuary floated through the air.

"Sorry about your room, killer," came Lilith's voice behind her. She turned to see the red head leaning against the door frame, looking out thoughtfully to the open sky.

Maya gave her a small smile, "it's a small price to pay. I'm sure there's another room."

"Yeah, mine."

Maya laughed in disbelief. "Yours?" she said raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, why not? You need a room and…and I wouldn't mind. If you want to," Lilith said looking anywhere but at Maya. It was cute to see her nervous, a rare occurrence.

Maya looked back out to the sky as well, a smile playing on her lips. "You sure I wouldn't be cramping your style?"

To her delight, she felt Lilith's strong arms wrap around her middle from behind. Her breath was on her ear sending shivers down her spine as she whispered seductively, "never."

They had arrived back at Lilith's, the room was dark and cold and the bed was made.

"Sorry, I havent been in here in awhile, I'll get the woodstove going. Why don't you go and have a shower? Theres towels in the cupboard in there. The taps are a little touchy and it takes a while to heat up but it gets the job done."

Maya watched as Lilith hurriedly put logs on the woodstove in the corner, and created a fireball within her hands and shot it into the stove, creating a warm orange glow in the room as the logs crackled and popped aflame.

Maya smiled, "your powers never cease to amaze me,"

Lilith smiled back, a pink blush resting on her cheeks. "Get going, I'll fix you some food."

And with that, Maya went into the bathroom and closed the door. The bathroom was quite plain, everything was mostly white other than the-you guessed it-red towels that sat on the shelf in the cupboard. The shower was a large paned glass door, the glass was fogged so one couldn't see inside. She started the water and examined herself as she waited for it to heat up. She could scarce see skin below the vast amount of dried blooded that coated the majority of her body. Her shoulder ached and she could tell that a fragment of the bullet was still embedded in there somewhere, she should probably pay Dr. Zed a visit once she was done showering. As well as get something for her excruciating headache.

Her shoulder still had the nasty hole from the bullet, but the bleeding had stopped. Thankfully it didn't hit any major arteries. There wasn't much point in using a health booster until the bullet was extracted, so she did her best to clean around it.

She stepped in the now hot shower and moaned as the heat soothed her aching muscle. She lathered soap on her hands and washed the blood from her face and neck before moving on to her hair. The water ran red for some time, she had to wash herself twice just to make sure she got it all. That, and she didn't want to leave. It was so soothing it was nearly putting her to sleep. She realized just how exhausted from all the chaos they had been through.

Her eyes snapped open as she realized the magnitude of what she had just done. Lilith basically asked her to move in with her, she agreed, and now Lilith could very well see just how messed up Maya was and eventually turn away. Her night terrors, her awkwardness. What if she wants to-to have sex, and I'm not ready?! She thought frantically. Her nerves began to rise and she started to wonder if she made the right choice. She knew she was more than happy to live with Lilith, but she was terrified of this new change. What if she messed it all up? I don't even know what I'm doing? What if I do something she thinks is weird, or doesn't like?

She tried to still her beating heart as she exited the shower and into the steamy bathroom. She dried herself off, careful around her nasty shoulder wound which had opened slightly. She came to another realization that she didn't enter the bathroom with any clothes. Great.

She cleared her throat and clutched the towel around herself a little tighter, placing her hand on the doorknob. Come ON Maya, it's just clothes. Just go out there and ask for clothes! You just killed a giant thresher!

She turned the knob and opened the door. Lilith had been standing in the kitchen area, leaning over a steaming pot with a large wooden spoon when the sound of the door opening caused her to look over and immediately stop what she was doing.

Maya's face must have been as red as her towel as Lilith's eyes raked up and down her body. She saw Lilith shift slightly, rubbing her legs together. Is she…?

Maya bit her lip and said in a small voice, "Uhm…did I lose all my clothes in the attack?"

"Oh, OH shit yeah, sorry, I got some new ones for you, hold on."

Lilith hurried to where the bed sat, there was a dresser that stood in the corner. "I got you some new ones made while you were gone," she said pulling out a pair of loose pants and a shirt. She turned back to Maya and gasped, as though she just noticed her shoulder. "Jesus christ Maya your wound!"

She dropped the clothes on the bed and went to the bathroom. Maya wasn't sure what to do, she looked from the clothes back to the bathroom to where Lilith was rummaging. She opted to just sit on the bed and wait.

Lilith emerged carrying rubbing alcohol, two small towels, gauze, and a pair of medical pliers. She sat next to Maya on the bed, the springs squeaking was deafening in the silence. Maya was worried that Lilith might hear her heartbeat, too. She clutched the towel ever tighter in fear that it would do something drastic like fly out of the window.

Lilith poured rubbing alcohol onto one of the towels and gently began dabbing at Maya's wound, she was mere inches away. Maya bit her lips and was searching the red heads face, but all she could see was general concern. She let out a breath she had been holding, relieved Lilith hadn't said anything about Maya's lack of clothing.

Lilith grabbed the pliers and look deep into Maya's eyes. "I'm gonna pull the bullet out."

"What? Do you know what you're doing?" Maya said, smiling.

"Of course I do. I've done my own many times. It's not gonna feel great though killer. Bite down on this towel."

Before Maya could say a word, Lilith stuffed the towel in her mouth and leveled her eyes with the wound where the other part of the bullet had exited her front. "Okay , lean back."

Lilith gently pushed her down onto the pillows of the bed. Maya's knuckles had gone white squeezing the damned towel.

She took the pliers and hovered over the wound, looking to Maya's face sympathetically. "You ready?"

Maya nodded and Lilith dug the pliers in hard but with expertise efficiency. "Mrrrgghh!" Maya groaned in pain, breaking out in a sweat. Lilith found the shrapnel quickly, and deftly pulled it out with a slight pop and dropped it onto the dresser.

Maya removed the towel from her mouth, "fuck,"

Lilith turned to look at her, it was as though a goddess was on her bed. Her hair was wet and wavy, it stuck to her face which was slightly flushed and her body had a gleam to it. She lay there breathing hard, her perfect breasts heaving. Lilith gulped and went to her, grabbing the rubbing alcohol and resuming her task. She poured the alcohol into Maya's wound, causing her to wince slightly. In her pack, she pulled out a health booster and handed it to Maya. Her wound would be closed over within the hour.

Lilith began to wrap her shoulder in the gauze, working quickly and carefully. The second time Lilith has bandaged Maya up. She takes such good care of me.

When Lilith was satisfied with her work, she planted a light kiss on Maya's neck sending a small wave of pleasure to the Siren. "Lilith," she breathed as the red head kissed her again, just below her earlobe. "Lilith…what are we?" she sighed.

Lilith pulled back, looking at her with slight confusion. "Well, I cant speak on your behalf, but you're the only one I want to be with Maya."

"Like a…a girlfriend?" she whispered.

Lilith smiled wide at the question. "Yes, like a girlfriend."

Maya grinned back and placed her burning face in her hands. "Oh my God I have a girlfriend," she mumbled lamely.

Lilith laughed and stood up. "I'm gonna go outside and have a smoke so you can dress. Oh, and theres Rakk stew simmering on the stove. Grab a bowl killer," she said, as she turned to leave. Maya stood with her and took her hand, holding her in place. She was feeling confidence in knowing how Lilith felt, her previous insecurities were now at bay. She pulled her lover close and kissed her, deep and meaningful. She wanted-no, needed Lilith to know just how much she meant to her. "Thank you," she whispered.

Lilith placed a palm to her face, before tucking a strand of blue hair behind her ear. "Anytime baby. I'll be right back," she disappeared out the door and left Maya feeling a sense of loss. Her feelings had her so confused. She so desperately wanted to be that girl that could've tossed the towel aside, pulled Lilith close to her, and let her have her way. But she couldn't escape that gnawing fear in her stomach, every time she had an opportunity she froze up.

She hastily put on the shirt and pants Lilith had gotten made for her and it all fit surprisingly well. She went to the kitchenette and found a bowl on the counter waiting for her. She had never eaten Rakk before, she didn't even knew it was a thing, but whatever Lilith did to it made it smell delicious and she was far too hungry to be picky. She gave herself a generous helping and she sat at a little table in the corner. She listened to the radio play. She enjoyed the music they had here on Pandora. On Athenas, it was strictly forbidden unless it was an approved hymn.

Lilith walked in and took off her jacket, revealing her taught shoulders and matching blue tattoo. Maya was overcome with a strong desire to touch her, but she kept to her stew.

Lilith flashed her a dazzling smile, "is it good? Can't say I'm a chef by any means, but I've picked up a few skills here and there. I was disgusted to try Rakk at first, just cause I've seen em you know. I was surprised how good it can be." She began to pour herself a bowl as well.

"Its fucking amazing Lilith, thank you so much," Maya said constantly.

"Anytime." She came from the kitchen and sat herself across from Maya. "Is it warm enough in here? Its must've been fuckin' freezing in the Fridge"

"It's a wonderful change, The Fridge was probably the most miserable I've been in a long time. Shit went straight to your bones, and the rats! My God I've never seen anything like them. Wretched little things."

Lilith laughed beautifully, "yeah they are something. Did you see any lab rats? I've been grazed by one of their eyes before lemme tell ya, not fun."

"Yes! Thankfully it stayed far enough away before we sent it through the ice. Actually, there was another creature there, it was huge and it walked on three legs, look like it might've been made of stone? And get this, it had gold feet. We got quite a bit of money's worth of gold out of it."

Lilith nodded, "That's a basilisk. You can make bank hunting those things, good on you for killing one. Got any plans for your winnings?"

Maya chewed her lip. She hadn't really thought about it until now, but as she looked up to Lilith she knew she had her answer.

"I want to take you somewhere nice when this is all over."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," Maya said, looking away. "But…I'm not really sure where to go. I don't know any places."

"I'm sure you won't have a problem. Anywhere you choose, as long as it's with you, is a nice place to me."

Maya blushed at her statement, unsure of what to say in fear of making a fool of herself. Thankfully, Lilith stood to clear their bowls. She collected them and brought them to the sink, before turning towards Maya and leaned on the counter. "You look exhausted. We should really get some rest, you earned it after a day like today. Do you want me to sleep on the couch?"

Maya was horrified, she so desperately wanted Lilith to hold her the same way when they last slept together! "God no, I want…I want to sleep with you-if you want." She said hurriedly.

Lilith smiled and went to Maya, taking her hand into her own warm one. Maya nearly melted at just the minor warmth her hand brought. She couldn't wait to be in her arms.

"Of course I want," Lilith said softly, pulling her hand and guiding them towards the bed. Lilith lay down first, opening her left arm to offer a spot for Maya. She happily obliged, snuggling up close to her beautiful lover and relishing in the warmth the Firehawk provided. Lilith had begun to run her fingers through her hair, a soothing act that Maya was sure would put her to sleep. Maya rested her hand on Liliths hard abs and began tracing them lazily with her finger. She liked the way Lilith's muscles would tighten ever so slightly when she hit a sensitive spot.

Lilith pressed a kiss to Maya's forehead, before speaking in a low voice; "I thought I lost you today."

She sounded heartbroken, and Maya just had to look at her. There was something there that you didn't hear in Liliths voice often. It was fear. Lilith wasn't looking at her, instead she kept focused on her hair. Maya imagined that it helped keep her emotions together, but she wanted her to look at her.

"Lilith," she said softly, gently. "I'm right here. I promised you I would get back to you. I'm never going to let you down." Even as she said those words, she herself even questioned them. Would she ever let Lilith down?

"At one point, you didn't think you would though," Lilith pointed out. "If that fast travel had taken a few more seconds to calibrate, who knows what could have happened. Handsome Jack almost took you away from me and…and sometimes I wonder if we can even win this war. How much more will we sacrifice? How many more must die?"

"If we don't stop him, we die anyway. So we might as well die trying, Lilith. We've come this far. Besides, it's not like you to want to give up. We can fight this-together!" Maya said with conviction.

Lilith just sighed and chewed on her lip. "I guess today I had a moment of weakness. A moment where I wanted to give up. Today might have changed me Maya, I know we've always had a lot to lose. But now I feel like…theres even more."

Maya knew what she was talking about. She felt the same feeling, every time they narrowly escaped danger it crossed her mind. She now had to worry about losing Lilith. Now that she had a taste of her, she didn't ever want to have that taken away.

Maya just held Lilith tighter and buried her face into the crook of her neck, breathing in everything that was Lilith. She would enjoy this moment as if it were their last, as it very well could be. The red head in turn held her a little tighter too, reassuring her through her actions that she felt the same, and cherished this moment as much as she did. Exhaustion hit her like a tidal wave, and she felt herself drifting off in the warmth of her hero's arms. It was lovely, what they had right here. For a few blissful moments, they should forget about the dismal cloud that hang overhead, but their conversation left her heart feeling heavy.