Day 15/30

"So, uh… What exactly are we doing again?"

While Ruby was as happy as ever to see her Uncle Qrow drop by the house again for an early morning visit, she couldn't help but be absolutely confused when he converted their kitchen into a shoddy interview stage, complete with a green screen backdrop. It was a surprise to everyone, and not a good one; the situation wasn't made any better when Qrow told everyone to form a line outside the kitchen door. That alone took thirty minutes to get set up, since Ozpin insisted that they go in a certain order. By the time he was done calming everyone down, Qrow could barely give a crap about the whole thing anymore. Oh, why did he have to go and chug the rest of his booze in one whole sitting last night?

"A halfway-done special, or whatever Ozpin called it…" Qrow mumbled in response to Ruby. The drunk was doing his best to put his camera into focus as his niece tried to get comfortable on her wooden stool. He really wished Ozpin would have told him how to work the damn thing, but then again that would be asking too much of the man. "All you need to do is answer a question or two, or tell me how you've felt about the whole experience so far. Just talk to the camera, pretty much. Easy-peasy."

"Ah, okay. But can I stand up instead of sitting? Yang really did a number on my butt with that wedgie last night."

"Ruby, I just got the camera in focus-

"But it reeaalllly hurts…!" Ruby cried, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

"...Give me a minute."

Interview #1: Ruby Rose

"Alright, Ruby. So tell me-

"Oh, wait! Can I go get Zwei? He'd love to be on this!"

"...Make it quick."

Interview #1: Ruby Rose and Zwei Rose Xiao Long (Take 2)

"Are we good now?"

"Yup!" Ruby grinned, cradling Zwei like a baby.

"Okay, so just tell me how you've enjoyed this experience so far."

"It's been pretty cool, I'd say! The pool party was fun, even though Weiss got mad at me for not putting sunscreen on her…"

"Anything else?"

"Well, there have been some scary things that happened here too. Like when Adam went all crazy and attacked you and Winter."

"Please don't remind me of that."

"And then when I went out into the storm with the Lieutenant to save Adam and I saw him naked-

"Wait, what?" Qrow's eyes widened: what didn't him and Ozpin see the night they lost power?!

"I saw Sun naked too… That wasn't as bad because he wasn't covered in mud, and Blake probably enjoyed that too."

"Can you move on to something else? Don't really think your dad would want to hear about that if he's watching."

"Dad's watching?" Ruby's eyes lit up as she waved at the camera, "Hi dad! Sorry I missed Father's Day!"

"Let's get back on track, kiddo."

"Oh, yeah. Interview stuff… Um, well I did get sick a couple times, so that wasn't very fun. And then I got a little drunk, and almost had to clean up Weiss's throw up… Now that I think about it, this hasn't been too fun at all."

Ruby's complete 180 change in mood told Qrow it was time to move on. That, and he had a bad feeling Taiyang would be leaving him a very nasty message on his scroll if the girl kept spilling these events to the entire world if he actually was watching.

Interview #2: Weiss Schnee

"So, Princess-

"It's Heiress, you drunk," Weiss corrected him quickly. She wasn't too fond of this guy after seeing how he treated her sister.

"Whatever," Qrow yawned, pulling out his laptop to look at him and Ozpin's email account connected to the show's streaming site, "So I've got some fan mail sent in by viewers, and this one was addressed to you."

"Really? I have fans?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised too," Qrow rolled his eyes, "So, this one asks 'How's it feel to look like a white haired bottle of Pepto Bismol?'"

"…You just made that up, didn't you?"

"Nope. Just wanted to see if your face could get any redder than it already was."

"Wow. I hate you even more than Winter does."

"You wouldn't be the first."

Interview #3: Blake Belladonna

Qrow had assumed that the sole Faunus on his niece's team would be the most well-mannered of the bunch and be the easiest interview. She wasn't being obnoxious or anything, it was just, well…

"Could you maybe put that book down for a moment?" Qrow politely asked the feline, who raised a finger to silent him. About a minute passed before she shut her book and placed it on her lap.

"Sorry, just finishing up a chapter. You were saying?"

"I didn't even say anything yet, but whatever. How's things been here?"

"It's been alright."

"…Is that all you have to say?"

"Adam hasn't bothered me lately, so yeah. I'm pretty content with how things have been so far, other than- Speak of the devil."

"Huh?" Qrow turned around when Blake pointed behind him at the man sneaking into the room, "Oh for God's sake Adam, get back in line!"

Interview #4: Yang Xiao Long

"I'm guessing Ruby couldn't get that dye outta your hair?"

A more-than-peeved Yang sat arms crossed on the stool, looking very tired. "I couldn't even sleep last night knowing my hair looked like this! And now the whole world gets to see it! Gah, it makes me so angry!"

"Easy there, now. Lots of ways to keep calm without breaking things-

*WHAM!*

"…Or just punch a hole in the wall. That works too."

"So," Yang breathed, cracking her knuckles, "What questions you got for me?"

Qrow scrolled through the fan mail Yang had received, way too many of them commenting on her new hair style. "On second thought, I think we're done here."

"Why? We just started?"

"Let's just say I'd rather not see you cause any more collateral damage to this house. Or to other people."

Interview #5: Sun Wukong

"Wow… I'm, not really sure what to say," Sun laughed nervously as Qrow showed him the fan art some of the female viewers had sent the monkey, "I'm pretty sure I can't bend my tail that way."

"Don't describe it to me," Qrow said, covering his eyes, "I don't understand fan girls sometimes."

"They can be pretty explicit, to say the least," Sun said, cringing as he came across a picture featuring him and Mercury 'sharing' Ren. He leaned in towards Qrow and whispered in his ear. "You wouldn't mind deleting these, would you?"

"That's your problem," Qrow handed the laptop over to Sun, "I don't want to look at those pictures ever again. Fan girls might not appreciate watching you erasing their hard work on camera, though."

"Oh…" Sun looked into the camera, trying his best to smile, "I'm, uh, I'm grateful I've got such passionate fans, but please, please, don't send this kind of artwork to me. Mercury enjoys this kind of stuff much more than I do. So send it all to him. Trust me, he'll love it."

Interview #6: Pyrrha Nikos

"Hello again!" Pyrrha smiled, sitting down in front of a relieved Qrow, finally glad that he could get a normal interview out of someone. "How have you been?"

"Good, good," Qrow smiled genuinely for the first time since becoming a part of this bet, "So you've been pretty popular with our viewers. Got a lot of encouraging mail here about you and that Arc kid."

"W-What do you mean?" Pyrrha blushed, immediately flustered at Jaune's name.

"Just that they want you to let him know how you feel and all that. You're so close to the kid that no one understands just why you won't tell him."

"I, uh… Well, it's not an easy thing to do! I just don't want to ruin our friendship or anything like that if he doesn't feel the same way. I want him to be happy, and if us just being friends makes him happy, then I'm happy."

"I hope you're not just telling yourself that you'd be happy that way," Qrow said, stroking his chin, "Both me and Oz have seen how you are with him, and I've got a feeling that you'd be a little more than upset if you don't ever tell him the truth."

Pyrrha looked to her feet, drawing circles on the floor with one of them. "Unrequited love is not a rare thing in life. For someone as idolized and praised as me who is given countless opportunities and privileges in life to feel something that normal people feel… It might not hurt as bad as I think it might…"

Hearing words like that would hurt anybody's heart, and Qrow was no exception. If there was one thing he didn't feel right in doing, it was letting the viewers see this painful side of Pyrrha. He stopped the recording as he saw Pyrrha's hand reach to her eyes. "Do you mind if we start over? I'd prefer not to put this out on the internet. Didn't expect ya to get so emotional about it."

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to-

"Nah, its fine," Qrow said, turning the camera back on, "You just got to get things out, you know? Let's start over. I'll try and keep it positive this time. This'll just be our secret, okay kid? And just so ya know… I'm rootin' for you, too."

"Understood," Pyrrha smiled softly, clearing her eyes, "And thank you."

Interview(s) #7 and 8: Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren

"I AM NOT A CROOK!"

"…What?" Qrow asked, raising an eyebrow at Nora's opening statement.

"You see these hands?" Nora held up her fists to Qrow, "These are the hands of a fighter, not a criminal! I never did anything wrong! Ever! At all!"

Still confused as before, Branwen looked to Ren for clarity. "You got any idea what she's doing this for?"

"She mistook interview for interrogation," Ren sighed, patting Nora on the back, "She brought me in here as her lawyer."

"Ah. Am I going to get anything sensible out of this conversation?"

"Probably not, no."

"Then you're free to go."

"YES! NORA VALKYRIE HAS BEATEN THE SYSTEM!"

Interview #9: Jaune Arc

The moment Jaune entered the kitchen, Qrow couldn't keep from snickering at his odd choice of pajamas. Sure, he had seen the kid walking around in them on the cameras before, but there were never this color. Pyrrha definitely had an odd taste in boys, but he could see what she saw in this dork of a human being.

"Look, if you're going to laugh I'd rather you not try to hide it," Jaune said, looking shamefully down at his once blue and now pink onesie, "It's not my fault Mercury doesn't know how to do other people's laundry."

"Sure, sure," Qrow smirked, looking over his notes. He was surprised when he saw the amount of fan mail addressed specifically to this noodle; it was almost just as much as Pyrrha's. "Whoa, kid. I didn't realize you were this popular."

"What are you talking about?"

"You got lots of fan mail, and I mean a lot. Lots of them are in all caps. Pretty sure they're yellin' at ya."

"Why? I never did anything at all!"

After reading over some of them, Qrow smiled when he realized just why people were getting on the kid's case. It seemed a lot of his fan mail came from some of Pyrrha's fans. "That's exactly why they're angry. You don't understand girls very well, do ya kid?"

Jaune scratched his head. "What are you talking about? My best friend is a girl."

"Goddamn, you're dense. It's Pyrrha, right?"

"Of course."

"You don't think that her being all cuddly and close with ya might mean something else?"

"We're teammates. That's what teammates do."

"You're not making any connections here? Like, none at all?"

"Well, I doubt that a girl I actually like-like would ever like-like me back. That's not how things work for me."

Qrow's jaw dropped at that all-too casual confession.

"…You like Pyrrha?"

"Yeah. She's the nicest person I've ever met, and she is pretty cute- WHOA!"

The camera tumbled to the floor as Qrow ran over and grabbed Jaune by the shoulders, lifting him off the ground and pinning him to the wall. "You listen to me right now kid! That girl would die for you, do you understand?! She is head over heels in love with you, and can't bring herself to tell you! All these people are begging you to do it, and I'll be damned if you leave her in the dark until this whole thing's done! You go to her and tell her exactly how you feel! Do you understand me?!"

"Okay! Okay!" Jaune screamed as Qrow violently shook him, "I'll do it!"

"You'll do what?!"

"I'll tell her how I feel! I promise!"

"Good," Qrow sighed, calmly dropping the boy to the floor, "I'd say we're done here. Want some tap water?"

Jaune had scurried out of the room before Qrow could even finish his sentence.

"Ah, shit. Might've been a little too forceful with him…" Qrow picked the camera up off the floor and felt his stomach begin to growl. Being in a kitchen full of food for so long made him much hungrier than usual, and decided that it would be a good idea to grab a bite before interviewing the other half of the housemates.

Because talking with the next batch of people was going to be one hell of a bad time.