Chapter 11 - Like A Love Letter
At CatCo, Kara looked down at her notebook while Snapper, her boss who seemed to strongly dislike her, was taking over the meeting as if he was the boss of the company. That made Kara feel a bit bad for James.
Kara was drawing mindless patterns on the paper as she tried not to let her thoughts wander too much on someone special that she hadn't been able to shake out of her mind since a couple of days. As usual, she failed in not thinking about Lena, and even picked up the sound of her heartbeat from across the city. It was as if she was drawn to Lena whether she wanted it or not. She smiled to herself, and hoped it wasn't too obvious when she replayed in her mind the last interaction she had had with Lena.
"Danvers, you got Lena Luthor."
Kara not only stopped moving her pen, but almost snapped it in half. Her eyes grew wide. She looked up and swallowed thickly. She was going to conduct her very first interview as a reporter, with Lena Luthor. The woman who broke her heart years ago. The woman she was still madly in love with despite everything that worked against them. Kara wasn't sure if she should be thrilled or nervous. Perhaps both.
The meeting over, everyone left the room except James.
And Kara who was completely frozen, and still too giddy at the same time to make a step.
"Are you sure you're okay with doing this interview?" James' voice took her out of her dazed state. "I can have someone else do it if you rather like."
Kara's brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"
"Oh, um... It's just... Given your personal history with her I... I was thinking it might be complicated for you."
Kara's brow furrowed deeper. She was about to ask him how could he know about that. But James answered her question before she got the time to open her mouth.
"Winn overheard a conversation between Clark and Miss Luthor. He hasn't been able to keep his mouth shut."
Kara pressed her lips together. Her furrowed brow was still stuck on her face. She wasn't bothered by the fact that everyone seemed to find out what was going on between her and Lena. But she couldn't stop wondering what kind of talk Lena and Clark had shared before he left. She made a mental note to call her cousin.
She tried to push her thoughts about Lena in the back of her mind, and answered James' previous question. "I can do it. I know how to be professional." she said, hoping she wouldn't get too distracted by Lena's… everything.
Kara shook slightly her head, trying not to think about the fact that was she going to see Lena in a couple of hours.
For now, she had to focus on her other job.
"Anyway. I gotta go. Supergirl's meeting the president."
With steps that was becoming nervous the more she was getting closer to her destination, Kara walked to L-Corp. She took a deep breath before stepping inside the building. The security level was rather high, and somehow, it reassured Kara to see that. A tall man charged to ensure the security led her to Lena's assistant.
Jess seemed to take her job of assistant even more seriously than Kara did when she was Cat Grant's assistant, and asked Kara to show her ID card before leading her to Lena's office.
Jess pulled the doors of Lena's office open, and waved her to get inside before closing the doors that seemed heavy for humans behind them.
Kara stood rooted on her spot, unable to make a move. She tried to take a deep breath, but she felt as though oxygen had left her lungs at the view of Lena sitting at her desk.
Lena looked up from her laptop, and gave Kara a beaming smile as she rose from her seat and walked to her.
For one second, Kara felt as if she had been brought back to the time she and Lena were dating.
For one second, she wondered if Lena was going to greet her with a kiss, and that thought caused a feeling of warmth to spread within her.
Kara wasn't able to take her eyes off Lena, and her heart swelled with love.
Wonderful Lena who seemed too perfect to be real.
At least, that's something that hasn't changed, Kara thought. Her gaze deep on Lena, feeling hypnotized by the magnificent woman in front of her.
Still smiling at Kara, Lena started sticking her arm out for a handshake.
Kara's breath hitched in her throat. Oh, Rao. We're going to touch. Her heart quickened, not knowing if she was afraid or eager. She realized it was kind of both.
Lena changed quickly her mind though, and crossed her arms over her chest. Kara wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. Again, it was probably a mix of both.
"Miss Danvers," Lena nodded her head, with her smile not fading. "It's good to see you."
"You too." Kara smiled back, her heart swelling even more with all the love she felt.
Nervously, she began fiddling with her glasses.
"Let's get started, shall we?" Lena smiled, waving them to sit at her desk. "Reporter." She winked.
Breathless as if she was a human who had just run a marathon, Kara was unable to make a sound come out of her mouth. She pushed her glasses up her nose, and nodded. She sat down across Lena, doing her best not to stare too intensely at her.
She seized her notebook and her pen, trying not to clutch too hard at them.
They stared at each other in silence.
Despite her super-hearing, and the number of noises around her, at this very moment, Kara could only focus on Lena's heartbeat that was as fast as hers. Just as it had been every time they saw each other since Lena had moved to National City. Somehow, it made her feel more comfortable to know that she wasn't the only one being deeply affected by their reunion. It also gave her more hope about the future, even though she tried not to think too much about the outcome of that reunion.
Lena cleared her throat. "So, what is this interview for?" She smiled.
Kara shook slightly her head, trying to snap out of her reveries. Which was the hardest thing to do when Lena smiled at her this way.
Finally, she was able to take a deep breath. "Yeah, I, uh… I wanted to know... Well, my boss wants to know… your take on aliens."
Kara saw Lena's posture stiffen slightly. "Because of Lex?"
Kara gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry."
Lena smiled slightly. Her body relaxed. "That's fine. I'm used to this kind of thing by now."
Somehow, this declaration broke Kara's heart even more, and she started to feel angry about the way Lena must be treated sometimes. Only because of her brother's actions that she absolutely wasn't responsible for.
Unconsciously, Kara began digging her pen into her palm.
Lena propped her elbows on the desk and rested her chin on her hands. "My take on aliens hasn't changed since we met, Kara. Actually, I feel even more the need to protect them from those who might be hostile to them. I know most people will still doubt my intentions because of the simple fact that I'm a Luthor. I can't do anything about that. But weirdly, that makes me understand what aliens must feel like in this world. Anyway, I'm working on a project that could help them to fit in easier among humans. I…"
The sound of Kara's pen snapping in half interrupted Lena's speech. Her eyes slightly widened as she looked worried at Kara.
Kara looked down at her broken pen, and she swallowed thickly, mentally chastising herself for having ever thought that she could have been neutral and professional in front of Lena Luthor.
How could she have been neutral and professional when Lena was sitting right across from her, looking absolutely breathtaking, and saying things that deeply moved Kara to her core.
Kara felt slight tears brim into her eyes. She blinked rapidly a couple of times, chasing away the tears that had welled up into her eyes before Lena could notice them.
"You all right?" Lena's voice that made something sting in Kara's heart withdrew her from her thoughts.
Kara looked up. Her eyes met Lena's emerald eyes that were full of concern. Mingled with something else that seemed to look like love. It made Kara swallow thickly again.
She glanced down at Lena's lips, and knowing what they tasted like increased even more her desire to kiss them. She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and started nibbling it as she tried to hold herself back. Although she was pretty sure that Lena would respond to a such bold move without hesitation. They had barely reconnected, and if there was still hope for them to be together again, Kara was certain of one thing, she didn't want to rush into things without thinking.
"Kara?" Lena's soft voice brought her back to reality again.
Kara pressed her lips together, and clutched her notebook until she felt her broken pen between her fingers. "I... um, I'd really like if we could finish this interview. My boss already doesn't like me. So I better write a good article."
Lena smiled. "I'm sure you're an amazing reporter."
Kara exhaled softly. Stop saying the perfect things I need to hear, or I'm really gonna kiss you. She looked down at her notebook, about to write something until she realized that her pen had become useless. She looked up at Lena, and smiled awkwardly.
Lena smiled fondly at Kara and took a pen among those that were set on her desk. She handed it out to Kara.
Kara's eyes glanced from Lena to the pen multiple times. She shouldn't feel that anxious about taking a pen from Lena's hand. But she was, because she knew there were very little chances to accomplish that task without brushing slightly her skin with Lena's. That fact sent out shivers run up and down her spine before it even happened.
Lena looked at Kara with the softest eyes and the kindest smile as she waited patiently for Kara to move.
Hesitantly, Kara stuck out her arm to Lena and carefully took the pen between her own fingers, touching it with the same gentleness she would touch Lena, and brushing very slightly her skin with Lena's when she withdrew.
Shivers and warmth swirled within Kara. She slightly looked down and cleared her throat before looking up at Lena, and seeing that a slight blush had made its way on her face.
Kara breathed out. "So, what is the project you're working on?" She smiled.
Lena's face lit up at the question as she began talking about the image inducer she began working on.
Kara wrote detailed notes as Lena's spoke, loving the enthusiasm and passion that shone through each one of her words.
At CatCo, Kara stood in front of Snapper. She fidgeted with the side of her glasses before pushing them up her nose, and shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
Her boss was reading the article she just gave him.
The article she wrote about Lena, after having spent hours in her office. Kara still struggled to wrap her mind around the fact that she had spent so much time with Lena. Despite a few awkward moments, being with Lena had felt even better than flying, and definitely more energizing than the yellow sun that gave her strength and powers on this planet.
As soon as she had gotten out of Lena's office, Kara had begun writing her article as if her life depended on it. Kara wanted everyone to see Lena Luthor in the same light she was seeing her. She wanted Lena's goodness to be translated in every word. She wanted nothing more than for the world to finally see Lena for the hero she really was.
As she waited Snapper's reaction, Kara's deepest hope was to be able to publish the article Lena deserved.
"Good Job, Danvers." he said, almost with a smile.
Kara almost staggered backward in surprise of the approval she hadn't expected to get so easily. She straightened her stance and tried to stand still. "You, I... wha-what?"
Snapper looked up. "Don't make me repeat it, ponytail." He threw the article to Kara, and started walking out of the room.
Kara staggered forward and caught her precious article between her arms. She grinned widely until she heard Alex's voice through her earpiece.
"Kara, I got a lead on our rogue Kryptonian."
The most serious expression made its way on Kara's face. "I'm on my way."
At L-Corp, Lena was sitting on the couch of her office.
For the ten thousand times since CatCo magazine went out, which means this morning, Lena was reading the article Kara wrote about her. She felt as though every word struck her in the heart even deeper than it did the first time she read it. She had always known Kara would make an amazing reporter, but she had never expected that she would read a such beautiful description of herself somewhere.
A brilliant kind-hearted beautiful soul, Lena smiled as she let her fingers brush slightly over the ink printed on the paper. She could hear Kara's voice in her head. Probably because Kara had already told her those very same words years ago.
The more she read the article, the more she felt as if it was a love letter for her that had been published for anyone to see. She didn't feel bothered by that fact at all. She felt proud of Kara for doing a such great job. And it also warmed her heart to know that despite the hurt she had inflicted on Kara, despite the years they had been apart, Kara's opinion on her was still the same.
Knowing that Kara was going to come in any time soon, Lena checked her watch. She grabbed her phone that was on the coffee table, and verified that Kara hadn't sent her a message telling her she had changed her mind.
She smiled when she remembered the happy expression on Kara's face when Lena asked her if she wanted to get her number. It gave her the hope that things weren't lost between them. Even though she wasn't naive enough to think they could pick up their relationship where they had left it, where she had given up on it more accurately.
Her regrets were about to submerge her when the doors of her office slid open.
Lena put her phone and the magazine she had been holding on the coffee table and spun her head to see Kara stepping inside the room.
Kara smiled, and started fiddling with her glasses in that way that told Lena that she was nervous.
"Hey." Lena smiled softly at Kara, hoping to ease a bit of her nervousness.
"Hi," Kara smiled with a slight blush coloring her cheeks.
"Come here." Lena said, inviting Kara to sit beside her.
Kara smiled and took place beside Lena carefully, and Lena could tell that she tried to avoid coming in contact with her as she sat down. Something that Lena understood. Her fingers had tingled for the rest of the day when they had brushed with Kara's the last time they saw each other.
They stayed silent for a while and stole glances at each other as they waited for one of them to start talking.
Finally, Kara broke the silence, and cleared her throat. She pointed at the CatCo magazine on the coffee table. "Did you read my article?"
"I did," Lena smiled. So many times that it gives me the feeling that I wrote it myself. She felt a blush creeping up her neck as if Kara could have heard her thoughts.
She glanced down, and saw Kara fidget with her fingers on her lap.
"As I said, I'd known you'd make a great reporter." she said, hoping to calm down Kara's obvious tension.
Kara smiled until she looked as if she was about to say something, but wasn't sure she should. She adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat. She stayed silent though.
Lena ran a hand through her hair as she tried to find a way to break the silence that was starting to feel rather suffocating.
"How are things at the DEO?" was the only thing she found to say.
Kara's eyes widened at the question. "I, um... they're..." She cleared her throat.
"Sorry. I hadn't considered that you maybe weren't allowed to talk about this." Lena said.
"Well, you already know it exists so..." She trailed off. "Are you sure no one can hear us here though?"
"Yes," Lena nodded.
"Well, things got a little messy when the alien who fell to Earth has woken up. Turns out, he's not a Kryptonian, but a Daxamite."
"Daxam, that's a sister world to Krypton, right?"
Kara frowned slightly. "How do you know that?"
Lena gave her a knowing smile and quirked an eyebrow.
Kara smiled, knowing she shouldn't be surprised at Lena's cleverness anymore. It made her admire her even more. Especially while she was sitting beside her, looking and smiling at her this way. In a way that made her want to…
Kara cleared her throat and slightly shook her head. "Anyway. We caught him though. So, it's all good."
"Good," Lena smiled widely.
Kara nibbled at her lips, doing her best to no put them on Lena's.
"The president visited the DEO. She was so nice to me, and..." Kara began rambling for long minutes.
Lena listened amused, and gazed fondly at Kara, finding her completely adorable.
After Kara recounted her some of her adventures as Supergirl, Lena couldn't help to say, "I've always known you'd make a great super-hero as well."
Kara adjusted her glasses and chuckled slightly. "Is there something you don't know?"
Lena's expression turned serious all of a sudden, and she could feel a heavy painful weight pressing on her heart, and tightening her chest that seemed to be too small to contain her overwhelming feelings.
She gazed deeply at Kara, and the thoughts she wanted the most to put into words stayed stuck in her mind and in her heart.
I don't know how to tell you how much I want to fix things between us. I don't know how to tell you how much I missed you, how much I still miss you even though you're sitting beside me. I don't know how to tell you how much I regret having given up on us and ruined everything. I don't know how to tell you that I love you more than I could ever love anything or anyone in this word. I don't know how to tell you how much I want us back, how much I'm afraid it might be too late. Please, Kara, tell me it's not too late. I love you so much, you're my heart.
Too lost in her thoughts, Lena didn't realize that Kara was shifting closer to her until their knees started touching, and a feeling of warmth and safety began spreading through her.
"You okay?" Kara's soft voice made its way into her heart and her mind, withdrawing her from her thoughts and calming down her overwhelming emotions at the same time.
Lena nodded, she could feel that her eyes were full of tears, so she wasn't sure that Kara was going to believe her.
Kara didn't pressure her though. She smiled at her, and softly slid her hand in hers the same way she used to do it years ago.
"Kara, I..." Her voice caught got in her throat. She fought to keep her tears at bay. She looked down at their joined hands and entwined their fingers together before looking up at Kara. "I'm so proud of you," was all she could say.
"None of that would have been possible without you." Kara said quietly, her soft tone showing the authenticity of her words.
Lena's breath got caught in her throat again, and her brain went blank for a second. No reply was able to come out. She swallowed thickly.
"You're giving me too much credit," she finally said.
Kara shook her head. "No, not at all." She locked her gaze with Lena's. "I spent years doubting myself while I tried to figure out what I wanted to be on Earth. Deep down I've always known what I wanted, but I wasn't sure I was allowed to do that. Then I met you, and you completely changed my perspective on things. Slowly, I started to realize that you were right, that I shouldn't let anyone tell me what I could or couldn't do. You gave me the strength and courage to be myself. I could never thank you enough for that."
Struck by Kara's words and the genuine tone in which she had spoken, Lena gave her a tearful smile. Some tears spilled out of her eyes when Kara softly put a hand to her cheek and caressed it with the gentleness she remembered.
Kara slowly swept away Lena's tears, and smiled when she felt Lena lean her cheek into her palm. She brushed her thumb over the back of the hand she was still holding and gazed at Lena with all the love she felt. "You are my hero, Lena Luthor."
Ever so slowly, and without thinking too much about what she was doing, Lena started leaning in.
Feeling Lena's breathing tickle her skin, Kara's breath hitched in anticipation of what was about to happen.
A knock at the door snapped them back to reality.
Kara and Lena yanked away from each other and shifted their position to be sitting at the opposite side of the couch.
Both had flushed cheeks, and quick breathing, as if they had shared a passionate kiss.
Another knock came from the other side of the door.
"Come on in," Lena said in her most business woman tone.
The doors slid open, and Jess stood in the doorway, looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Miss Luthor, but your eleven o'clock is here."
"Oh, gosh." Lena rose from the couch. "I've completely forgotten I had a meeting."
Jess looked up. "We can reschedule maybe."
Lena shook her head. "No, no. That's going to give me a bad reputation. I can take this. In ten minutes."
Jess nodded and made her exit.
Kara got up from the couch. "I, um..." She cleared her throat. "I should go."
"Thank you, Kara." Lena said. "For the article I mean. That really means a lot to me."
"Always," Kara smiled and walked to the doors. Before leaving, she spun to look at Lena. "Take care of yourself."
"You too," Lena smiled.
Kara smiled one last time and walked out of the room.
When the doors of her office closed, Lena pressed her lips together, they were tingling from a kiss that hadn't even happened. She glanced down at the CatCo magazine containing Kara's love letter.
Knowing she didn't have the time to linger on her feelings right now, Lena sighed, and forced herself not to think about Kara anymore, with very little success.