This is being cross-posted from Ao3. It was originally posted on 10 December 2019.

Huge thank you to GaeilgeRua for letting me use her Grammarly and SquarePeg72 for alpha reading. Any other mistakes are definitely my own.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, and Warner Bros. Marvel belongs to Disney. No copyright infringement is intended. Die Hard references are not my own.

Prompt: The Orkney islands/Die Hard and MMFBingo19: I5 Loki

"The sky is falling again."

Hermione laughed and threw a look over her shoulder. Loki was standing in the doorway to the living room of the small house they were renting. It was their honeymoon, and they'd travelled to the Orkney Islands as it was one of Hermione's most favourite places. Rising from the desk where she sat writing a letter to Harry, Hermione decided to play along.

"Loki," she said, coming to stand in front of her new husband. "That's snow, and you know it. The sky's not falling. We're safe here."

Rolling his eyes, Loki scoffed. "Traveling during the most dangerous weather of the winter. Worst idea possible."

Laughing, Hermione said, "You wanted a winter wedding just as much as I did, or have you forgotten?" She trailed the tips of her fingers down the soft cotton t-shirt he wore. "Begged me, in fact."

Loki's fingers meticulously wrapped around her wrists and held her firmly. "I loved watching you in the snow, Hermione, but that does not mean I want to try and celebrate our union while traipsing through five feet of the bloody stuff."

"You've been hanging around Tony and Ron too much," Hermione teased as she tugged her wrists free of his grasp. "Now, let me finish my letter and then we can go and have a look around at the sights."

Loki sighed with playful exasperation. "Fine, but don't make me wait too long or I'll have to watch another of the holiday movies Stark has recommended."

"Now that would be a travesty," Hermione said and then kissed his cheek before returning to her letter.

"It's not a Christmas movie," Hermione insisted as they walked past S. Magnus Cathedral. It looked absolutely stunning in the snow, a fact that Loki refused to admit despite his stance on the current topic. "It's a Bruce Willis movie."

"There's trees and such," Loki said as he held Hermione's hand. "It takes place on Christmas Eve. I don't understand how you insist that a movie that takes place on Christmas Eve is not festive."

Hermione stopped in her tracks, which caused Loki to as well seeing as they were bound at the hands. "It's full of guns and killing, Loki. Do we need to have a discussion with your therapist again?"

Loki threw his head back and laughed heartily. "That's rich, Hermione," he said and tugged her into an embrace. Kissing her on the lips right there in the middle of the road, Loki didn't care if people saw them. When he pulled away, Hermione's cheeks were red from more than just the chill in the air. "I'm not about to go all mercenary just because of an insipid movie; especially one Stark suggested."

"Are you sure?" Hermione said breathlessly, trying to ignore the people around them who were staring. "We've gone through quite a lot to get to this point, and I don't want to lose you."

"It's just a bit of a fun discussion," Loki promised. "I'll let it go." He was lying, of course. This was an argument he fully intended on winning.

Hermione smiled. "Okay. Do you want to get something to eat?" she asked and pointed down the road. "We haven't had a proper meal since yesterday evening, and I'm sure you're famished."

Smirking, Loki discreetly slid his hands down the front of Hermione's pants. They were standing so close that no one would be able to see. "I've had plenty of nourishment, I can assure you that."

Cheeks flaming, Hermione swatted at Loki's wandering hands. "Oh, you behave. We're near a church!"

Laughing, Loki retook hold of Hermione's hand. "Only if you promise to let me have you for dessert later." He didn't see the little old lady behind him who happened to overhear their conversation.

Hermione, however, did notice and all but dragged her new husband away from the scene before things could go any further. She may not be a face people would recognize, but Loki had once upon a time tried to take over the planet. People knew who he was, and Hermione didn't want any trouble. It was their honeymoon, after all.

Later that evening, after they'd eaten a proper meal and returned to the inn, Hermione and Loki found themselves relaxing in bed. It had been a rather enjoyable evening full of champagne, a bubble bath, and plenty of dessert as Loki liked to call it. They were settling down to sleep when Loki decided to broach the topic from earlier yet again.

"What was that Charles Dickens novel you had me read last year? Carol of Christmas?" Loki inquired, rolling onto his side so he could adequately stare at his wife.

Snorting, Hermione tucked a piece of his dark hair behind his ear. "A Christmas Carol." She set aside her book after recognizing the look in Loki's eyes. He had something up his sleeve.

"Ah, yes. That was it." Loki's lips curled into a smirk. "And it's a story about redemption, am I correct?"

"Yes," Hermione answered slowly, eyeing her husband carefully. "Where are you going with this?"

"In that novel, Scrooge has to change, or he's going to have an early death," Loki began to explain, his emerald eyes never leaving Hermione's face. He wanted to see her reaction to his reasoning; he'd been thinking on it all evening.

"That's true," Hermione replied. "The three spirits show him the past, present, and future, causing Scrooge to want to change for the better. There's a whole load of research and information about how the story is actually Dickens' view on the Victorian views of poverty and-"

Loki held up one hand to stop Hermione before she got lost in her rant. He adored how brilliant she was, but he had a point to make, and it had nothing to do with Victorian society as a whole. "Save that conversation for another time, love," he told her, smiling at her plump-lipped frown. Gently he propped her lip until it was back in place, and then he continued, "Essentially, what I am saying is that A Christmas Carol is a redemption story."

"That's true," Hermione agreed. "Scrooge redeems himself, and we are safe to assume lives for much longer than he would have if he shut out love and generosity in his life."

"Die Hard is the same concept," Loki stated simply. In fact, he was downright smug about it.

Hermione's eyebrows nearly shot into her hairline. "You're comparing Die Hard to A Christmas Carol?"

"Yes," Loki said, frowning at her lack of understanding. What was she not grasping about this concept?

The bed shifted as Hermione moved to sit on her knees and stare down into Loki's face. "I want to make sure I have this right," she began, crossing her arms. "You're telling me that John McClane is the same as Ebenezer Scrooge?"

Loki pushed himself up so that he was propped against the pillows. "I don't see why you're having such a hard time understanding this, hermione."

"I feel like you're reaching in regards to Die Hard being a Christmas movie, Loki," Hermione said in utter disbelief. "Do you care to enlighten me?"

"It's easy to comprehend," Loki said, only slightly pouting now. "John and his wife are at odds in their marriage. Their trials and tribulations at Nakatomi Tower allow them to see the value of their love and partnership, thus bringing about the redemption of sorts."

"Not to mention all the machine guns and violence?" Hermione said, biting back a laugh. Holding up a pillow, she aimed it at Loki. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho!" She then proceeded to make gunshot sound while pummeling her husband with the pillow relentlessly.

Loki sat there and allowed her to do so for a moment before giving a cry out playful outrage and tackling her onto the bed. Once he had her pinned, he kissed her neck deliciously, earning a moan from his wife. "Alright, alright. Settle now, love."

Hermione was still giggling despite the warmth that radiated within her from having Loki on top of her nearly naked body. "Okay, I surrender. I surrender."

Loki scoffed but smirked despite himself. He loved it when Hermione was so willing and eager. Tonight was going to be fun, but first, he had an argument to win. "Can you at least consider the possibility that Die Hard is a Christmas movie?" he asked in earnest.

"Yippee-ki-yay! God bless us everyone and all that, right?" Hermione said, teasing Loki once more. She adored Loki more than anything, but she could never agree with him on this topic.

He frowned. "You're never going to agree that it's a Christmas movie, are you?"

"Nope," she said, patting his shoulder lovingly. "But I'm thrilled you're so passionate about it. I can't wait to tell Tony how much you enjoyed the film."

"You wouldn't," Loki said with a warning, his eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I most certainly would," she answered, chocolate eyes glittering with mischief. "And I'll be sure to add that it's your new favourite movie because that guy gets thrown out the tower at the end."

In exasperation, Loki shook his head before kissing Hermione. It didn't take long before they were entwined in one another once more, their argument forgotten for the night. Hermione wouldn't forget to tell Tony, but by then Loki would have more evidence to support his theory that Die Hard was, in fact, a Christmas movie.