Heya everyone! I've been feeling a little stuck with writing this last week, but maybe ten reviews this chapter will cheer me up and convince me to update early. ;)
Speaking of reviews! Thanks so much to alphafoxxy and xenocanaan for their many reviews! They are much appreciated.
Enjoy!
Our morning is a flurry of firsts as we get used to each other's routines and quirks. I, not having any siblings, especially have to get used to dealing with other people in my way while I try to get ready. We only snap at each other a few times so it seems like a success to me.
I end up taking longer than I had anticipated, due to this new routine, so I am left alone to make my way down to breakfast. I can't honestly say I remember exactly how to get to the Great Hall, but I figure that as long as I'm going down I'll get there eventually.
Or not.
After going down what seems like a thousand stairs, I'm starting to think that I'm never going to get to the bottom when I come across some familiar faces. Why do I keep running into him? This school is not that small!
"Oh," Harry notices me just after I see him and he slows his rushed descent to a halt. Ron nearly runs into him.
"Oi, what gives, Harry?" Ron complains. "I'm starving!"
"Headed down to breakfast?" I ask cordially. No reason to treat him like dirt. I'm a little annoyed that he hasn't forgotten my existence though. There's no reason I should be that memorable. I'm no Cho Cheng, after all.
"Yeah…" Harry mutters, barely looking at me. Oh he had better not have a crush on me!
I take a deep inward breath. Who the heck do I think I am? Not every guy I meet has a crush on me. Ron has barely even looked at me- he doesn't have a mind for anything but food. How egotistical can I be? Didn't Harry only have an interest in girls in fourth year? He's eleven for cripes sake!
"Do you guys know how to get down to breakfast?" I decide to act like Harry doesn't have a crush because he doesn't, and use what the universe has given me to get some food.
"Just follow the smell of food!" Ron butts in, pushing past the two of us to continue on his way. He hasn't even asked anything about me. He really must be starving! I'm sure Harry will fill him in when they've eaten, and I don't feel like dealing with an angry Ron.
Harry and I are left walking together and, while I'm nervous about changing anything, I'm very curious about Harry's odd behaviour. Is he trying to ignore me?
"You seem down today," I start uncertainly.
"Oh, I uh…"
"Not really one for words, huh?" I can't help but joke. Harry seems like he is about to say something, but just opens and shuts his mouth a few times. Another few steps of awkward silence between us. He does not have a crush on you, I continue repeating to myself. But now I have no idea what to say! I look back over at Harry, who is steadily staring at his feet, and I know I've totally blown this conversation.
When we get to the Great Hall we go our separate ways and I just manage a "See you later" over my shoulder, but I'm not even sure if he heard me. How did I end up being the awkward one?
I find my bunkmates sitting across from each other along with some other first years so I try to shake off my funk before I join them.
"What took you?" Mandy asks between ravenous bites of her eggs.
"I may have gotten a little lost," I admit sheepishly.
"Of course you did. That's because you took so long getting ready this morning," Lisa admonishes.
"Aww give her a break! It's her first day." I shoot Mandy a thankful glance.
Just as I finish scooping my breakfast on to my plate, the owls start appearing. Smiling at the beautiful scene, I take a bite of bacon and hold it up for Tally as she lands on my shoulder. I started training her as soon as I got her- having seen too many ruined meals from all the crash landings throughout the book series. It only took me two weeks to teach her to always land on my shoulder whenever she had something or wanted something from me.
She happily munches on the bacon I offer as she holds up her leg, and I take the letters from her easily. I'm not at all surprised that my parents and grandma have written me. I'm about to open my grandma's letter when I'm distracted by Mandy.
"Oh, she's pretty! What's her name?" She reaches out slowly to pet her. I lean over so she can get a better reach.
"This is Tally. She's friendly." Mandy pets her happily.
"That's a weird name. Where'd you get it from?"
"Oh it's from a book I read once," I answer vaguely. I can't actually remember the book in question, since it's from my past life, but I must have loved it since the name stuck.
"Nice!" Tally hangs around for a bit longer, clearly enjoying being pet before she flies off with the rest of the owls. I'm glad she's doing well. That's a small weight off my shoulders.
I go back to my grandma's letter, excited to see what she has to say, and even more excited at the prospect of telling her everything that's happened, but I'm again interrupted.
"Our schedules are here!" Lisa nearly loses grasp of her dignified manner with her small shriek of excitement. I quickly put my letters aside as I grab the schedule that has appeared beside my plate. There is a moment of quiet throughout the Ravenclaw table as we all read our fate for the semester.
"Ugh herbology first thing Monday morning?" I whine. That's going to be god awful in the winter.
"At least we get it over with first thing?" Mandy tries. I sigh and stuff another piece of bacon in my mouth before getting up. It's not that I hate herbology, but I don't have a huge interest in it; I like useful plants and all, but I'm not going to put in the time and energy to take care of them. That's what a plant store is for- people like me who would rather pay someone else to take care of plants.
Since it's still early September, the walk over to the greenhouses is pleasant. I notice that we have the class with Slytherin house, and it feels strange to realize that I have no qualm with them. Having read/seen the story from Harry's perspective of the Slytherin house being "evil" , I'm left now with an idle curiosity to see if they're all really that bad. Maybe I'll have a few Slytherin friends of my own. Though Draco is definitely out of the question.
The class settles in smoothly, and I take note of everyone and their places. Draco already has his little crew and I'm surprised to see Pansy Parkinson is talking to him. She works quickly. It's immediately obvious to me who she is- she really does have a pug face. They're possy settled on the opposite end of the room, so I don't have to worry about dealing with them for a little while.
The rest of the Slytherins are generally sitting together. It feels less like house rivalry thing and more like, sit next to the person you sort of know the name of. It is our very first class at Hogwarts, after all.
Professor Sprout introduces herself and lectures for a bit, and I'm impressed at how quickly some of the Slytherins lose interest in the material. Having already studied it myself, I pretend to pay attention as I people watch. Pansy is not-so-subtly trying to pass notes to Draco, who in turn keeps passing them to Crab (or is it Goyle?) much to her dismay. When I figure out what's going on, I'm left trying to cover up my laughter with fake coughs. Maybe we won't be friends, but I think Draco is going to be a great source of amusement for me.
"Are you alright, Miss Campbell?" Professor Sprout stops lecturing to check on me as I choke on my laughter.
"Yes ma'am!" I manage to sputter out. I must be beet red at this point as the entire class is looking at me. I make sure not to look towards Draco anymore, and stare pointedly at my book to calm myself down. Whoops!
The rest of the class time goes by uneventfully, though I'm almost caught laughing at Draco again as he whines loudly about having to get his hands dirty. I really need to stop focusing on him so much or he is totally going to start bullying me.
"What were you laughing about earlier?" Mandy asks me after class.
"Oh, it was an inside joke with my grandma," I lie easily. "Oh, speaking of which, I never got around to reading her letter!"
"Well you don't have time, we have History of Magic now." Lisa reminds me.
"That's okay. I'll read it during class." Lisa looks appalled.
"Shouldn't you be paying attention in class?"
"I can multitask."
"Until you fail your first exam! Don't come crying to me asking for my notes later! You need to put in your own work for your grades."
"Fine. Fine. I won't ask for your notes, I promise."
"And don't distract me in class either! You were totally unfocused in Herbology and it was annoying to deal with."
"Sorry, Lisa. I'll be more mindful next time," I think I just manage to sound sincere, even though I don't care at all. She's become a real handful already now that classes have started. She makes a good point though. If I'm not paying attention I need to make sure that no one else is noticing me goofing off. I don't want anyone to think I'm a troublemaker or to wonder how my grades are so good.
Walking into class, I realize we have this one with the Gryffindors. I can't believe my good luck! With how boring this class is, everyone will be either asleep or half asleep, which means little to no interaction with them!
As the class starts, I find that History of Magic is as terrifically dull as everyone said it would be. Even the muggle borns are half asleep. The textbook had been so fascinating too! I don't understand what sort of magic Professor Binns uses to make himself so boring. As Ravenclaw house we try our absolute hardest to stay alert and attentive, but even we are struggling to survive. It only takes a moment of Binns dragging on before I open Grandma's letter to pass the time. I'll probably even reply to her now to make it look like I'm taking notes. I so wish I had a laptop right now!
My dearest Charlotte,
Well? Tell me all about it!
-Grandma
That was...underwhelming. I flip the letter over in confusion. I thought Grandma would be gushing with excitement to tell me how much my parents are flipping out over me being gone, or giving me "I told you so's" about the sorting hat. Instead all I get is one line? That's not like her at all. Well, there's no point in uselessly wondering about it. I'll just have to ask her.
Hey Grandma!
What gives? That was a pretty short letter!
After giving her some more crap for the length of her letter, I go on for another foot of parchment telling her about how everything has been so far. For security's sake, we decided not to go in to any detail about my memories through letters, so I'm deliberately vague when I mention the Sorting Hat. That ends up taking me about half the class, which leaves me the other half to read and respond to my parents. Their letter is almost two feet of parchment! Of course, they're missing me terribly and wondering how things are going. Mom asks about Harry again, and I'm seriously considering dropping another random guy's name just so she'll forget about him. I finish my letter back to them just as class ends, and I'm left mourning the fact that I won't be able to do that every history class.
"You were much more focused for that class," Lisa says as we head out. "How did you manage it?"
"I took what you said to heart," I lie. I can see Mandy snickering out of the corner of my eye. Do I not lie as well as I think or was that just too weak to be true?
"Well thank you! It's good to be appreciated!" Lisa puffs up her chest and walks ahead.
"Be careful, Charlotte. You're going to make it so that she can't fit her head through the doorways," Mandy whispers. I suppress the urge to laugh and gently shove Mandy ahead.
"At least I'm trying to get on her good side!"
"Good luck with that!"
Time for lunch! We manage to get to the Great Hall with no trouble, and I'm embarrassed to say that I'm proud of myself for knowing how to get there.
"Oh is that Charlotte headed our way?" Fred and George are standing just outside the Great Hall. Some of my classmates give me odd looks but keep on walking. I can tell that one or two of them know who the twins are by their wide eyed stares, but the rest probably just wonder how I'm friends with older guys already.
"Who are they?" Mandy leans over to me.
"Just some friends I met on the train," I explain.
"Well I'm not waiting for you, I'm starved!"
I walk up to the twins undaunted, despite the fact that I did not want our friendship to be so publicly broadcasted. I should have expected this from them though.
"Good afternoon, boys."
"Boys?" George asks, aghast.
"You dare to call us boys?" Fred adds.
"I don't think you're ready to be men quite yet," I try not to laugh at this silly conversation.
"And why is that?" They both cross their arms as they wait for my answer.
"Because I've yet to see a successful prank!"
"That's unfair!" Fred shouts.
"You haven't seen any pranks at all!" George agrees.
"And you expect me to believe these wild stories about you two with no proof?"
"Wild-"
"-Stories?" They're both intrigued now.
"Oh I couldn't possibly repeat them. Especially when it seems they aren't true." A part of me wonders why I'm egging them on, but the childish part of me spurs me forward.
"Oh you'll see!"
"We'll out-do our own rumor mill!"
"They'll never know what hit them!" They high five each other and then turn back to me. "You're the best, little Charlotte!" I'm suddenly enveloped in a hug that I don't feel I justly deserve before the dynamic duo race upstairs, presumably to get to work on their next big plan. I'm left stunned and alone for a moment before I remember that I was originally coming here for lunch. Hopefully none of the rumors about the twins will involve me…
"You three seem close," Mandy comments as soon as I sit down. I take a deep breath to hide the blush that is trying to creep up my neck. I am way too old for this!
"Were you spying on us?" I retort.
"Just keeping an eye on my bunkmate." She winks.
"Well as you can see I'm fine. We just met on the train is all."
"They seem to like you."
"I've taken an interest in their profession," I say vaguely. "Anyway, do you think Charms is going to be more fun than History of Magic because that was dreadful?"
Mandy clearly wants to ask me more about the twins, but I steer the conversation away, and the other first years sitting with us help me change the topic.
Lunch and the hour break afterwards pass quickly. I end up staying in the Great Hall to get a jump on the homework we already have. I thought Harry just whined a lot about schoolwork, but he really wasn't kidding about the workload. This is ridiculous!
Making my way to Charms doesn't end up being too difficult, and I find myself getting excited for the class. This is the most useful class I'm going to have, and I can't wait to be able to practice all these helpful spells! I also have a ton of questions about how spells actually work, and while I did some research on my own, it will be interesting to see how Professor Flitwick explains it. Fortunately for me, this class is with Hufflepuff, so I can be completely focused on my work.
Professor Flitwick spends most of the class explaining what charms are and their importance, and I'm starting to think we won't get to do any spellwork today when he asks us to take out our wands. We all pause at this, the excitement now palpable in the air. We've never used our wands in class before- it's only our first day. It feels like a momentous occasion as we all reach in to our bags or pockets and procure this new part of ourselves that we have almost (or in some cases) never used before.
"Today we are simply going to practice some of the different wand movements that can be associated with a spell," Professor Flitwick explains. The excitement deflates from the class instantly. I think I even hear a few groans. "Next class we will be starting on spell work, so it's important to get this right!"
From my vague understanding of magical theory, wand movement is not strictly necessary. If it was, wandless magic would be impossible. That being said, wand movement is sort of like training wheels, which is why it is so heavily taught to beginners like ourselves. The movements make the spells come more naturally, and help prevent us from doing the wrong spell or no spell at all. Not the Professor Flitwick would explain this to a first year class.
After a long while of swishing, flicking, and arm waving our first Charms class is finally over. I can't say I enjoyed it. Dinner passes us by uneventfully, and I listen to everyone talk about their impressions of the classes and professors.
As I lay in bed later I still can't really believe it. I've made it through my first day of classes at Hogwarts! If only things would go this smoothly for the next seven years… This bittersweet thought is my last before I fall asleep... until I realize I forgot to send my letters. Damnit!
…
The next morning I wake up a little bit earlier to stop by the owlery. I doubt I've gotten any more letters since yesterday, and I want to make sure I send these as soon as possible so my family doesn't worry.
I would say today is an easy day in terms of classes, but that isn't true for me- today is my first class of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am (ironically) petrified of Quirrell and what meeting him could mean for me. I've spent years training my occlumency for this day, and I won't know if I'm ready until it happens.
But before that, I have to pretend that everything is fine and normal and go to Herbology. We have Herbology technically three times a week, but only once do we have lecture. The other two days are for checking on our plant projects. It's a pretty cool class system actually, although I find it a bit tiresome to have to trek out to the greenhouses three times a week for a class I don't particularly care for. Neville must find it amazing, I'm sure.
Breakfast is starting to find a normal rhythm, though I have no idea what anyone says the entire time. The only thing I can hear is the blood pounding in my ears and the voice in my head reminding me to breathe.
Sooner than I would like, Mandy is prodding me to get a move on so that we won't be late for class. For the thousandth time I make sure my mental shields are completely up, and without any further ado, I'm exactly where I don't want to be.
"G-good m-morning, everyone. P-please find a seat," Quirrel motions for us to sit. I don't immediately notice anyone trying to break my shields- a small win in my book. I find a seat in the center, not too close, but not easily noticed in the back either. At this point I know I'm overthinking everything to death, but with my enemy standing right in front of me, I don't know what else to do with myself.
I belatedly notice we have this class with Slytherin, but they're of no concern to me right now. I only have one goal: get through this class unscathed. Unfortunately, I have no idea how difficult that will be. I'm just going to have to be prepared for anything. I eagerly watch the clock, wishing for time to fly by.
Five minutes into class, Quirrel starts lecturing. His fake lisp is already grating on my nerves. Does he really believe it puts people off his trail that much? It must be so annoying to keep up.
Ten minutes into class, I vaguely notice a magical presence around my mental barriers. I do everything in my power not to tense up.
Fifteen minutes into class the presence has noticed my mental shields. I'm not naive enough to think it isn't Tom. I decided before class started that it would be unwise to try to fool Tom with false memories. If I wasn't good enough at tricking him, he would realize that he was being pulled by the nose, and then he would have enough of a hold in my mind to get any information he wanted. Instead, I decided to hold him out on the pretense that I am a natural occlumens, and therefore somehow have the mental fortitude to keep him at bay. All without understanding what is happening to me, of course. While this plan won't keep me from being a target in the future, it will keep me safe this year, and honestly, that's good enough for me at this point.
Twenty minutes into class Tom's legilimency feels like a vice around my skull as he tries to break in from all sides. How the hell am I supposed to survive this entire class?
Twenty five minutes in he changes tactics and goes for a pointed assault. I feel like someone is lasering into my brain from the outside. Fortunately I can use the pain as a focal point so that I don't let my mind stray.
After thirty minutes of class I forgo pretending to pay attention and just put my head down. I run my fingers through my hair and remind myself to breathe as the onslaught continues.
At thirty five minutes my mind starts to wander and I feel the pain start to fade away. I vaguely think about grandma, forgetting where I am or what I'm doing. Everything is so nice when I'm not in pain…
"Hey, Charlotte, are you okay?" I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder and I jolt upright.
"Fuck!" I groan a bit too loudly. Quirrell looks at me pointedly, along with most of the rest of the class. "Oh, uh, I…" I pause for a moment, my sluggish brain trying to come up with a plan as the pain comes rushing back stronger than before. "I'll just send myself to Professor Dumbledore's office," I can practically hear the slur in my voice from the pain. Tom is now slamming in to my head so hard my vision is blurring.
I vaguely hear Quirrel say something, but I pick up my things and head for the door anyway. Just before I make it there, I'm stopped by a hand on my shoulder and am spun around to face the upset looking professor.
"Where are you going?" I don't actually hear the words come out of his mouth, but I read his lips just fine since he's right in my face. Instead of breaking away like I want to, I find myself stuck when I look him in the eye. I'm vaguely impressed that the pain I was feeling before is nothing compared to what I am experiencing now. Losing myself in the darkness of Quirrell's eyes, the last thing I hear is the sound of my own agonized scream.
…..
The throbbing in my head tells me that I'm still alive, although I don't think I want to be at the moment. I move around and realize that I'm on a bed. The hospital wing?
"Oh Charlotte, you're awake!" I open my eyes to find Madam Pomfrey fretting over me. I really hope I don't make this as much of a habit as Harry. I can't believe I made it here before he did. How embarrassing! "That must have been some headache, sweetie. Here, drink this." I'm handed a vial of something and take it without question. "You slept through most of lunch, so I had the house elves bring you something. Are you hungry?" I nod, pleased to note that the potion is making the headache fade away. "I was just about to owl your parents. Is this something that has happened before?"
"No!" I don't mean to shout. "I mean, there's no need to owl them. This is totally normal." Now is not the time to feel guilty for lying. I'm going to have to build myself a huge web of lies to get through all of this.
"This is normal?" Madam Pomfrey does not look convinced.
"I get chronic migraines. Sometimes they get really intense, especially when I'm stressed out. I don't want to worry my parents any more than they already are with my not being there. It was so hard to convince them to let me go to school. Please don't write them! They might take me home." Hopefully I can guilt-trip her into never writing to them ever. She looks at my pleading face for a few nerve wracking moments before she acquiesces.
"As long as you're sure, sweetie. Stay as long as you need. Don't worry about your next class." The food she mentioned earlier appears in front of me on a table I hadn't noticed before and I immediately start eating.
"Have I missed it?" I chime in. I really don't want to miss my first Transfiguration class, despite everything that just happened. That class seems rather difficult, and impressing Professor McGonagall is a goal of mine. I can freak out about being attacked by dark lords after I get my O. Madam Pomfrey checks the clock behind her.
"It should start in half an hour, but that doesn't mean I advise you go."
"I'll be fine after I eat."
"You fainted in class. I'd like to make sure there's nothing else wrong."
"I'm fine." Madam Pomfrey gives me a look so intense she is practically glaring at me. "That potion really helped!" The look on her face doesn't change. "I promise to come back if the headache comes back?" I try to find something to say that will make us both happy.
"Fine." Apparently that is good enough. She leaves me to my lunch and I sigh. Today turned out almost as badly as I feared, except I didn't die. I can't believe he came after me so intensely right away. Then again, it makes perfect sense. A normal student wouldn't notice that Tom was prying into their minds, and he could learn all sorts of things from all of the students combined. Finding someone that he couldn't read would definitely make him curious.
Madam Pomfrey mentioned that I fainted and clearly someone told her that I had a headache. I wonder how they explained away me screaming when I passed out…
"Madam Pomfrey?"
"Yes, dear?"
"D-did I shout...when I passed out?" That was such an awkward question I didn't know how to ask it.
"No one mentioned it to me. Maybe you had a bad dream?" Great, I made her more concerned and now I'm not sure if I'm crazy. Maybe I just thought I was screaming? Or screaming in my head? Ugh, I don't have time to wonder about stupid stuff like this. I need to figure out how I'm going to manage this for the rest of the semester. Maybe I can fake an allergy to Quirrel? The idea makes me smile, and I use that tiny amount of happiness to push myself out of bed and get ready for my next class.
"Thanks for everything, Madam Pomfrey!" I call as I pick up my backpack. I wonder who brought me here?
"You're welcome, Charlotte. Here, take this," she hands me a vial of blue liquid. "Take it as soon as a headache starts- it should make it go away. Come as often as you need for more." I smile broadly. This could be just what I need to help keep Tom away. Or maybe it doesn't work for occlumency induced headaches? Well, I won't know until I try.
"Thanks!" I've got just enough time to make it to Transfiguration.
I make it with moments to spare and sit down next to Mandy, who immediately leans over to me.
"What the heck happened?"
"I get chronic migraines."
"Well that sucks. Lisa and I were gonna visit you after classes ended today. We didn't think you would be back so soon after you fainted."
"It's okay. I'm fine."
Lisa eyed me curiously but didn't add to our conversation as Professor McGonagall started lecturing.
I've always had a huge amount of respect for Professor McGonagall, which is probably why I want to do so well in her class. I can see that her commanding presence is making some of the others nervous, but I'm so used to her that she could only make me nervous if she was angry. In my excitement to get here, I didn't even notice this class was with the Gryffindors. Surreptitiously looking around, I spot Harry two rows over from me. Professor McGonagall seems to be making him a bit anxious as well.
"Now Miss Campbell, since you seem so fascinated in everything but the lecture at hand, why don't you tell us what Transfiguration is?" The rest of the class turns to stare at me, no one daring to laugh at the precarious position I have now been placed in. My face must be so red right now.
"Transfiguration is the family of spells that are used for changing objects from one thing to another. This differs from Charms in that we are changing the essential nature of the object we are working with, where Charms does not," I recite easily.
"Very good, Miss Campbell. If you had been paying attention to begin with I would be so inclined to give you house points for such a good answer, but just because you have a grasp of the material at hand does not mean you should be idle in your class time. Now is the time to practice and focus." To reiterate, she turns to her desk and turns it into a pig and back again. "Without focus, you will not get to a level where you can do things like this. Understood?" We all nod weakly. I have really got to get better at not paying attention without getting noticed.
The rest of the class passes smoothly. Again, we aren't going to be doing any spellwork until our next class, much to our great disappointment. As the lecture comes to an end and we all gather our things to leave, Professor McGonagall calls for me to stay behind. I'm a little offended that I'm in the same class as Harry and yet I'm the one getting called on. This is so unfair! Lisa and Mandy give me curious looks, but head on without me. I'm left waiting in front of the professor's desk impatiently wondering what is going on until everyone else clears out.
"Miss Campbell, Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office. I will take you there so you don't get lost," she explains.
"Oh," is the only stupid response I can manage as I start following her down the hall. So much for being a good student in front of my most respected teacher. I spend our walk freaking out about how I have to deal with yet another mental onslaught today. This is getting completely out of hand far faster than I had anticipated. My last run in with a legilimens left me in the hospital wing, and what if Dumbledore suspects what happened? Has he known from the beginning that Quirrel is the traitor? Does he know he let Tom in to the castle? If he did, why would he give Tom free reign of the school? Does Snape know?
I'm snapped out of this whirlwind of thoughts when we get to the gargoyle. I hear the professor mumble, "Pumpkin Pasties" and I file the information away for later use. I have no idea how often Dumbledore changes his passwords, but it doesn't hurt to try it if I need it.
As we wait for the spiral staircase to take us up to the office, Professor McGonagall starts explaining something about the headmaster's office, but I'm too busy reexamining my mental shields to really pay attention. This really has been a horrific day. How am I going to make it through this?
"Are you ready?" I'm sure she doesn't think this is that big of a deal, but I appreciate her question nonetheless. Taking one more deep breath, I nod and follow Professor McGonagall into Dumbledore's office.