This was a tough one to write! Lots of new styles to try and perspectives to write from. Thanks again to all my reviewers, including my mystery guest! I would have loved to have discussed with you, guest, but I can't unless you have a username.

Enjoy!

As expected, about an hour after my solitary dinner, Ravenclaw house burst back in to the dorms. I can hear them in the common room now. A few girls seem to be heading up towards our room too. I make sure to take the silencing spell down from around my bed so I won't have to actually get up when they get here. A group of them, including Mandy and Lisa, burst into the room mid-conversation.

"Oh my god, I can't believe that happened!"

"Do you think it was a prank?"

"Professor Quirrell pulling a prank? When pigs fly!"

"And we know the Weasley twins didn't do it."

"So there really was a troll?"

The girls are nervously chattering with one another and haven't noticed me yet. I have half a mind to shut my curtains again and just ignore them. As I lean over to do just that, Mandy sees me.

"Oh," she starts awkwardly, causing everyone to look over at me.

"What happened?" Do I sound curious enough?

"There was a troll in the dungeons!" A girl who's name I've forgotten leaps at the chance to tell me.

"A real one?"

"We don't know yet. But Professor Quirrell came running into The Great Hall screaming about a troll and then he collapsed."

"That doesn't sound like much of a prank."

"I know, right? But it is Halloween…"

"Whoever did something like that, real or not, would definitely get expelled," Lisa adds confidently. I nod my agreement. Obviously I know who let the troll in, but no one would ever believe it if I said who it was. Not that I care to.

"You weren't at dinner?" Someone else asks me.

"Oh, I wasn't feeling well," I brush them off.

The rest of the girls continue chattering as they get ready for bed. Lisa and Mandy seem torn between trying to tiptoe around me and pretending that nothing happened. I roll my eyes at their behavior and go back to my book. I've finally calmed down enough to go back to studying (I know it's weird for all you non-Ravenclaws, but studying really calms us down in hard times). I'm currently reading up on new spells, like the alarm spell, and I'll start practicing the wand work when next I have free time.

While trying to study diligently, I notice that my thoughts keep straying to my non-friends not too far from me and I suddenly have a nasty thought.

Before I can think of the repercussions I burst out, "Oh, I guess all the Halloween parties must be canceled. That sucks." I smirk.

"Don't say that as if you were invited to anything," Lisa snaps back. Mandy, myself, and even Lisa have wide eyes. The other girls in the dorm are busy with their own conversations and don't seem to notice our drama unfolding.

While they might have been faking being my friends, I didn't think we would jump straight to outright aggression. I have a right to be angry and make occasional passive-aggressive comments, but clearly we all thought Lisa had stepped out of line with that reaction. Instead of backing off, however, Lisa recovers quickly and presses on. "Jealousy is an ugly emotion."

"It's not like you would have even wanted to go," Mandy tries.

"Draco would never have invited me," I add numbly.

"Then why are you mad at us?" Mandy asks.

"Because you lied to me about it!"

"You barely talk. We figured it would be better if we just didn't tell you."

"I barely talk?" Lisa and Mandy laugh bitterly for a moment.

"You spend a lot more time in your head than you think you do, clearly. It's annoying, you going around thinking you're all high and mighty and never talking to anyone," Lisa grinds out, sounding frustrated at having to explain it to me.

"You can't seriously think that."

"It's so obvious!" Mandy retorts.

"You guys really think that?" I murmur more to myself than to them.

"Go on and be better than the rest of us, mere mortals. Even though I get better grades than you now," Lisa throws her hair over her shoulder and turns away. I roll my eyes. I can't believe she spent all that time with me and still didn't realize that I lowered my grades on purpose. At least my lying skills seem pretty good.

"Whatever you say, Lisa. At least I don't use people to get better grades." Without waiting for her response, I shut the curtains around my bed and try my hand at that alarm spell. I don't know if I did it right, but I won't know until someone tries to touch my bed from the outside. Hopefully it works! Knowing that I (probably) won't be disturbed, I decide to write to grandma.

I'm torn between whether or not I should tell her about my drama with my friends. In the end, I decide to confide in her. Who else can I talk to, if not her? I start writing, thinking how ridiculous the whole situation is, but even as I think that, the tears start falling. I try my hardest not to let them smudge the page out of sheer embarrassment. I can't believe I'm crying about what some eleven year olds said to me! Why do I even care?! But the more I write, the more cathartic it feels. I can complain about how mean they were, and I think of more instances when it was so clear that they didn't care about me. By the time I finish, I'm still confused about why I feel the way I do, but at least I've gotten it off my chest.

As an afterthought, I mention the troll, making it clear that it wasn't a big deal and that I would tell her more when I come home for Christmas.

Despite my misgivings, I end up writing my parents and telling them about my friend troubles as well. It's a normal thing to happen to eleven year olds, after all, and I want them to be included in my life. By the time I've finished writing everything, I'm exhausted, and resolve to head to the owlery first thing in the morning.

Morning comes suddenly and unhappily. Our usual morning routine is now punctuated by angry awkwardness, making our unfriendly trio tiptoe around one another as we try to avoid looking each other in the eye. I wonder if anyone else notices our oddness, but if they do, they don't say anything.

I'm finally free of the dorms and head off to the owlery before breakfast, both to send my letters and as an excuse to avoid my non-friends. On my way there, I'm surprised to run in to Fred and George. While I am happy to see them, my bitter side reminds me that they're not really my friends.

"Hello, boys!" I call, ignoring that bitterness as much as I can.

"Charlotte!" They call, wrapping me in an unexpected hug.

"Oh, uh…" They laugh at my flustered reaction and I can't help the light blush that dusts my cheeks.

"What, no hugs?" one twin asks.

"I just didn't expect it…" I run a hand through my hair in embarrassment.

"You know, dear brother, I think-"

"-Charlotte doesn't get enough hugs." The twins finish each other's thought. I wish I could tell which one is which, but I don't know how.

I'm suddenly being hugged again, and an involuntary squeak escapes me as I'm squished between the two taller boys.

"We hug a lot in our family," one says.

"I figured."

"Where are you headed?" the other asks.

"The owlery."

"Well what gentlemen what would be if we don't walk you there?"

"Don't you have to go to breakfast?" I can't help but wonder what their angle is.

"Don't you?"

"Well, yeah. I'm going after…" I realize that had been a silly question on my part.

"So we can walk you there! Unless-"

"-you don't want us to?" The two grab my arms and start pulling me gently down the hall. I follow along, trying to dispel my unwillingness.

"Of course not…" I trail off uselessly. As we continue walking, I remember a question I had for the pair. "So I heard about the troll issue."

"Ugh!" One lets go of my hand to put his hands over his ears. "No more! I don't want to hear about it!"

"What…?"

"Fred is still really put out about our prank idea being overshadowed by someone else's," the one I'm now assuming is George leans over to whisper to me as his brother pretends to writhe in anguish. I look over at Fred and study him before looking over at George. Fred's hair is currently slightly ruffled due to his frantic behaviour, so that's how I'll tell them apart for now.

"What do you mean?

"We had such a great prank planned for the end of the Halloween feast, but after the troll thing our plans were all ruined," George continues to explain. Fred moans in agony.

"It would have been amazing!" he whines.

"What was the pla-"

"Shhh," Fred puts a finger up, halting my question. "Next year." I laugh, but don't push them any further. "We're here!" He announces unnecessarily as he pulls open the door to the owlery.

The three of us walk inside and I whistle loudly. Despite the huge amount of owls flying around, I know that Tally will come to me if she's in here. Within a few moments, Tally flies down and lands on my outstretched arm. She cocks her head to the side, clearly waiting for a treat.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry, Tally. I didn't think to bring you anything."

"I got it!" Fred pulls a piece of bacon out of his pocket and Tally takes is happily.

"...why?" I look at him with confusion.

"Emergency snacks!" George supplies. I laugh again. Spending time with these two, I laugh more than I have the entirety of the year so far. That voice in my head that is trying to tell me they're not really my friends is harder to listen to when I'm laughing.

I pull out my letters from last night and hand them off to Tally. As I'm wrapping the bit of string around her outstretched leg, Fred tries to reach in and nab one of them.

"Hey!" I squeak, turning to him and slapping his hand away. "That's not for you!"

"I just wanted to see," Fred complains.

"You whine a lot!" I giggle. "You could have just asked."

"But what's the fun in that?" George asks from my other side as he is holding the letters at an angle so he can read their address'.

"You tricked me!"

"Who's whining now?" Fred asks tauntingly. He moves to read over his brother's shoulder and I don't bother to stop them. I don't honestly care if they know who I'm writing to. I roll my eyes and finishing tying the knot as Tally squawks and fidgets with impatience.

"Are you done reading so I can let Tally do her job?"

"Grandma and your parents? How boring!"

"Unless it's code-"

"-for her secret boyfriends!" The two finish in unison and stare at me expectantly. They're clearly waiting for me to look shocked or something.

"Sure, that's definitely it," I deadpan as Tally flies away.

"We knew it!" They high-five and I head out ahead of them.

"So that was Tally." I look behind me to see who spoke, but Fred fixed his hair to look exactly like his brother's again so I'm not sure at all. I wait a moment for the twins to catch up to me.

"Yeah, she's wonderful."

"She reminds me of you," the same twin says quietly and oddly calmly. I turn to look at him with mock offense. I notice his twin is looking at him with confusion at the same time.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

There's a long pause as the redhead skips ahead, effectively making it impossible to see his face as he speaks.

"You both just seem like you want to fly away."

I stop dead, my eyes blown wide. The other twin takes another step before he realizes that he is walking alone towards his brother. He turns back to look at me, but the one who spoke hasn't turned around. I hadn't expected something so serious from the Weasley twins, especially not at thirteen years old. The three of us stand in silence in the middle of the hall as I try unsuccessfully to grapple with my emotions. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"W-" my voice quivers. I cough and try again. "What makes you say that?"

The further twin laughs loudly and finally turns around to face me.

"You're such a terrible liar."

Without another word, he turns and continues walking down the hall, his brother and I oggoling after him in confusion. After a few moments, my brain kicks back on and reminds me that I still have to get to breakfast. Pushing down the myriad of thoughts and feelings that conversation brought up, I run after the Weasley twins, who are now walking far ahead of me together.

The rest of our walk to The Great Hall is much more normal. We all end up pretending that nothing happened between us and we laugh and joke as normal. I can't figure out which twin said that to me, but I don't have the guts to ask.

Our trio splits once we get to breakfast, and I take a few steps towards my usual spot at the Ravenclaw table before I realize what I'm doing. My usual spot has Lisa and Mandy in it. I can't stand the idea of having to sit next to them and listen to them be friendly with everyone but me.

I slow my gait as I try to surreptitiously find an open spot at the table. Closest to the teachers is the emptiest area (no surprises there) so I guess that's where I'm going to be stuck sitting. Giving up one discomfort for another seems like the theme of my life lately. I would rather not have to spend my meal times so close to my enemies, but I don't have a lot of choice right now without being awkward and trying to slide in with a bunch of upperclassman.

In the end, sitting alone at breakfast ends up being nice. My mental shields are up all the time anyway, so it doesn't end up being much of bother to be near the teachers. I take the time alone to think and go through what I'm feeling. Why did Fred (or George?) say that to me earlier? Does he really see right through me?

I stab my sausage with more vigor than necessary. He said I just want to fly away… Do I really seem so unhappy? I mean, things have been pretty difficult, but I'm still happy to be here. I don't want to leave Hogwarts. He can't possibly suspect the truth, even his roundabout way of thinking couldn't lead him to that, so what does he think of me? All I know for sure is that he thinks I'm a liar…

I finish breakfast long before I can finish this circular thought process. There's no real answers waiting for me in my head, so I might as well move on to class. Fortunately I get to start my day with flying lessons, and nothing clears my head better than that.

While I love flying class, I admit that it's pretty slow moving for my taste. I'm certainly not a pro flyer, but it took us almost a month before we were even allowed to fly more than a foot. Now we can fly around a little bit, but Madam Hooch is more focused on those of us who can fly well than those who can't.

"And you had better stay within the boundaries or I'll give you detention for a month!" she threatens. We all know she means it- the boys in class who have tried to show each other up in their flying skills have calmed down significantly after their fourth consecutive month of detentions.

Today we're focusing on speed changes- how to go faster and how to slow back down without throwing yourself off your broom. We're all set up in rows so that Madam Hooch can watch us all as we fly in a straight line down and back across the field. This is also practice from last week's lesson- turning around.

None of these lessons are new to me and are therefore rather boring. I wish I could just fly around like I want, but even just being on a broom is far better than not being on one at all. To entertain myself with this inane exercise, I've taken to doing it upside-down. I manage to go down and back three times before Madam Hooch catches me.

"Charlotte Campbell!" I stop sharply as the quidditch referee suddenly comes in to my upside-down vision. She's lucky I'm a good flyer- I could have run right in to her!

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?" A few of my classmates that hadn't already been giving me weird looks join in to stare.

"Flying the laps you asked?"

"Do you want detention?" I lazily turn myself back over.

"No, ma'am."

"Continue, as normal."

"Yes, ma'am."

When we're finished with class and I'm getting off my broom, I notice a few girls staring at me and talking amongst themselves.

"She just wants everyone to look at her."

"It's because she thinks she's so smart."

"I've heard she's a cheater."

"Well she only good perfect grades in the beginning, so the professors must have caught her cheating."

I blink at the group a few times, slowly realizing that they're talking about me. All at once, I have a ridiculous revelation and it's so sad I almost want to laugh. I'm the Luna Lovegood of my year! I've never thought of myself as that weird, but I guess with no one like Luna around to compare me to, I'm the weirdest "kid" in our year. I can't believe the sheer irony of it all; me, a grown adult, getting bullied. How did this happen?

I ignore the girls gossiping about me, but over the following days I notice it more and more frequently. I also start to notice, thanks to the gossiping, that the students around me are seeing me as more eccentric. In my boredom and quest for further knowledge, I tend to do things in my classes that I guess could be construed as odd…

"Miss Campbell, would you care to explain what is going on here?" Professor Flitwick asks. I thought I could get away with some experimentation without anyone noticing, but clearly that hasn't worked out for me.

"I thought I could try to soften the wood with spongify before I cut it with diffindo," I explain sheepishly. "I wanted to see what would happen."

We had learned spongify a few weeks prior in class, so I thought it wouldn't look that odd that I was using that spell. Plus, I was honestly curious to see what would happen.

"Didn't we already say that diffindo could cut anything?" The professor prods patiently.

"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to see what it would look like on something softer."

"Well, let's see it then," he smiles. I smile back and happily oblige.

"Diffindo!" I slash my wand down as we had been instructed and the, now soft, wood splits in half. For some reason I had this ridiculous expectation that feathers would burst out or something, but the soft wood remains intact except for the split down its middle.

"Well done! 5 points to Ravenclaw for the creative use of past spells, Miss Campbell!" I blush as everyone looks up from what they're doing, most of them scowling at me, despite the points I was awarded. Some Ravenclaws seem mildly pleased, but I can tell most of them are sick of me being in the spotlight. The Hufflepuffs don't seem to care one way or the other at least.

"Why is she trying so hard to get the professor's approval?" I overhear a girl loudly whisper to Lisa.

"She just wants to prove how much better she is than us," Lisa doesn't hesitate to answer. I sigh.

Grandma and my parents write back the next day, during which time I feel more and more ostracized by my classmates. I can't believe how quickly and how brutally the Hogwarts rumor mill works. Upon receiving my letters, I decide to read my parent's letter first, which is filled with nothing but support and sympathy.

Don't let those bullies get you down, Char! I know making friends isn't the easiest thing, but one day you'll have amazing friends that will stand beside you, just you wait!

Reading my parents letters is really the ray of sunshine I need in my dark days. Grandma's letter is more serious, but she definitely keeps me grounded. Even being slightly vague, she always seems to know exactly what to say.

My dearest Charlotte,

I know you must be upset, but I can't help but laugh at the fact that you're struggling with the other children so much! I am so happy to hear that you are learning to live with your heart on your sleeve. I worried when you started school that you would shut yourself away and live in fear of things completely out of your control. Living in the moment can be a painful experience, but it shows how much you have grown since you were born. Overthinking is still something you need to work on, but it warms my heart to hear that you are experiencing Hogwarts to the fullest. Don't be afraid to reach for what you want.

I know your parents have done enough consoling for five people, so I will leave that to them. My only other advice to you is this: don't try to ignore your sadness. You think you don't deserve to feel upset about something so trivial but you have every right. It doesn't matter the situation- everyone deserves to have companionship with their peers, struggling with that would make anyone unhappy. Allow yourself the proper time to grieve before moving on, and don't shut yourself away again. The world wants to meet you, the least you can do it meet it halfway.

Much love, as always,

Grandma

I sigh deeply as I put down the letter. I'm reading it during lunch, where I am eating alone, again. She made a lot of good points, and hit on a lot of issues I didn't know were bothering me. Grandma has always seen me more clearly than I have been able to see myself, which just goes to show how much growing up I have to do. I didn't realize how much she worried about me.

It's funny how you can both know something and not understand it at the same time. I know that she's always worried about me, but I never really understood to what extent before. My happiness at school was never something on my radar, and yet Grandma has been concerned about it all along. I smile and push away my empty plate, feeling more content than I have in a long time, and not just because of the food.

...

Just a few weeks before Christmas finds me sitting in a secluded section of the library. The Ravenclaw common room isn't the safe haven I thought it would be since most of my year can't stand my presence anymore. I'd love to be outside reading, but the three inches of snow keep that from becoming a reality. Instead I've burrowed myself in a blanket warmed with a simple charm so that I can sit by the window and watch the snow fall whenever I tire of the Most Underrated Dueling Spells You Should Know. Dumbledore's laissez-faire attitude on everything in the school that isn't Harry or Tom has its perks; no sane headmaster would leave this in the school library...would they? Maybe I just have a more conservative view of what children should be learning about…

I blink back to reality, having been staring out across the snowy lawn for some time, when I notice a dark shadow of a person coming towards me. All black, really? A small figure in all black with their hood up does not look nearly as menacing as that person believes. Surprisingly, the small, black clad figure sits in the empty chair across from me and flips his hood back.

"Theodore Nott," he introduces himself succinctly and puts a hand out to me. I stare at him in utter confusion as I shake his outstretched hand.

"Charlotte Campbell? You're not a dark fairy coming to steal me away are you? Oh I guess that wouldn't work since you said you're real name too…"

"How do you know that's my real name?" He surprisingly plays along with my silly comment.

"I'm in class with you. I'm not that oblivious that I don't know the names of my classmates." That was a bold faced lie- I know the names of almost none of my classmates.

"Really? What's the name of that Ravenclaw girl you're sitting next to in Herbology now?" He quirks an eyebrow at me and I know I've been trapped.

"Shirley," I lie, hoping I sound confident.

"Really? I thought she said her name was Danielle." A short, awkward pause opens up between us.

"Why are you taking the time to talk to a half-blood anyway?" I sneer.

"Oh, she does have a dark side," he smiles for the first time and I'm impressed how much it brightens up his face. His dark hair and eyes with all that black clothing on made him look half dead but that smile brought him back to life. Smiling, he doesn't look unattractive, you know, for an eleven year old.

"That's rich coming from mister all-clad-in-black, over here. Trying to join a cult?"

"If I wanted to listen to childish insults I would have gone to speak to a Gryffindor," Nott makes a motion to get up but I quickly hold a hand out.

"Fine, fine. You've got me there. I apologize for my behaviour." I'm not sure what made me have Nott stay. He started the conversation by proving that he is paying more attention to me than I would like, but he did let me change the topic to something else, so maybe he doesn't have bad intentions? He is a Slytherin though so he must have some sort of goal in mind, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to me. As Nott sits back down, I finally close the book in my hand and put it to the side.

"Dueling spells?" he asks curiously as he tilts his head to the side to read the cover.

"Oh uh," Why was I so upset about not having friends again? Lying is hard work! "I heard there used to be a dueling club here, so I thought it would be fun to learn about dueling spells."

"Any interesting spells so far?"

"Not any that I wasn't already aware of…" I trail off as if I really am honestly answering that question. What am I thinking? He could be an enemy! I can't go telling him what dueling spells I know, for crying out loud!

"I'm surprised you're not studying for potions. Have you completely given up on the subject?" I really should be studying. Our final is in three weeks and I am completely unprepared, but Nott doesn't need to know that.

"What did Snape send you here?"

"On the contrary, I'm sure Snape would be ecstatic if you quit potions forever. He complains about you almost as much as he complains about Longbottom." I wince at the comparison. I can't believe I'm that bad at potions. "I came because I thought you could use a tutor." I narrow my eyes in disbelief and confusion.

"If Snape says I'm as bad as Neville, there's no way I can be tutored easily. Why would you offer something like that?"

"Well obviously I would want something in return." He smiles again and that somehow makes me more anxious about this whole situation. "I want to know your secret."