Finally back at school, and now I remember how exhausted I got from going to class! I nearly took a nap instead of writing this chapter, but after binge watching a shit-ton of Corgi videos on Yotube I had to write another chapter like this.

I think you know what kind of chapter I mean by that ;)

My name is Zwei Rose-Xiao Long, and I would like to wish upon you the most belated of greetings. It has been quite some time since our last discussion with each other, for it seems that many other fascinating events have overshadowed my still interesting - yet plain by comparison – daily duties as a Corgi.

But worry not, lads. Today I have quite the tale to tell to you all, an adventure of grand proportion. Its contents will be as flavorful and delectable as the peppermint cake Master Ruby fed me on the misplaced day of jolly winter festivities some time ago. Ah yes, that was quite the tasteful experience…

Oh, my apologies! I was distracted by the fond memories of that snack for a moment. My mouth is salivating just from recollecting the taste. Perhaps it would be a wise idea to begin my story before my mind becomes distracted once more.

Let us begin, shall we?

It was around the time when the sun sat the highest in the sky when Master Ruby required my assistance. I was bathing my fluffy black fur in the warm rays while simultaneously receiving a most soothing butt scratch from Master Yang when Master Ruby snatched me away just as my itch was starting to recede. If she had not provided me with a tasty handful of bacon bits as compensation for the sudden interruption, I would have been quite sour with her for her actions. Regardless of how I felt, the moment Master Ruby said she needed my help I was all ears.

To clarify, I was not 'all ears' in the literal sense. To have my body be reduced to two large floating pair of ears would be quite the disturbing sight, would it not? My triangular hearing devices are fairly adorable I must admit, but without my plump buttocks and nubby legs I would no longer be the complete Corgi package. What a dreadful travesty that would be!

Taking me to a secluded place, Master Ruby presented her dilemma: she wished for me to sniff out the gifts Master Yang and the others had brought home for her! Now, I am what can be considered a responsible organism. I know that human culture instructs that those whose day of birth are not meant to receive their gifts until said day has arrived, and I was defiant in betraying the trust of Master Yang and her comrades who desired to keep their presents a secret from my younger master.

But Master Ruby is such a benevolent soul. In return for my services, she presented me with the only the highest of rewards:

A chocolate chip cookie.

Oh, yes. You indeed heard that correctly.

Now, I know it is not healthy at all for my kind to consume the heavenly sweet called chocolate; in fact it may very well bring me great harm if I consume more than just one cookie's worth. But every being, be they human, Faunus, or Corgi, must spoil themselves with an unhealthy snack once in a moon as blue as the sky above. The indigestion I would receive in a few days is worth the few moments of pure, cocoa flavored bliss.

There was yet another plus to this: Master Ruby gave me the cookie before I departed on my mission! She is so kind!

I am sorry Master Yang, but I could not let this opportunity slide; sometimes a snack of this caliber takes control of your better instincts and forces you to succumb to temptation. I hope this will not cause you to cease scratching my behind every Tuesday afternoon. That is a most pleasurable time of relaxation we share together.

Returning to my most harrowing tale, I bounded off to the home in search of these hidden gifts. This task proved to be much more difficult than any other before it, for I knew not the scent of the presents I was searching for. But who is to say that did not make the task even more amusing? Like many individuals, I enjoy a good mystery every once in a while. I feel like a genuine Sherlock Hound, though missing the proper Victorian attire!

Ah, that was a delightful pun. You see, I replaced Holmes with Hound… Oh dear. Master Yang's sense of humor seems to have rubbed off on me quite a bit lately. I must be cautious as to not abuse the power of the pun. It may worsen the indigestion that approaches in a few days' time.

I began my hunt in the lounge, where I found the Spartan Princess comforting a surprisingly pale and frightened Vomit Boy. It appeared as if he had recently come across a spirit of some kind; his empty expression was filled to the brim with emotional scarring. I pondered if a playful nip to his behind might bring some further relief to his current state, but decided not to: the Spartan Princess's kiss seemed to cure him of his shock instantly.

With my search down there yielding no results, I investigated the theater downstairs. It was in there I encountered the newest member of the household (and one of my new favorites), Chew Toy. I cannot say she was as joyful to see me as I was her; I presume she does not enjoy when I playfully tug on her large, soft set of rabbit ears. She hopped across the theater seats like a hare to avoid me, knowing my small legs could not pull my sausage-like body up onto them. She is quite the crafty one, I must say.

But mark my words, my newest of friends: I will catch you, and I will play with you.

My quest continued to the upper levels, where I could hear the melodic singing of Snow White and the Crimson Queen coming from my room. You may have noticed the slight change of title of the latter individual; she no longer displays disdain and bitterness towards the others living in this here establishment, and no longer deserves to be called the Crimson Bitch. I for one am glad she has had a change of heart; using a curse word makes my 'tummy feel the ouchies', as Master Ruby would describe it.

I found no sign of gifts anywhere else upstairs, unfortunately. However, I did stumble on yet another individual trying to hone their vocal talents in the shower, though they were nowhere near as impressive as the girls practicing together. I must give credit to the Edgelord, though; he seemed very passionate as he sang about wanting to be woken up while simultaneously not being able to wake up inside.

Things took a very extreme turn when the Lightning Viking approached me, donning what appeared to be armor made of pillows while dragging her mattress towards the staircase. A distressed Chef was begging her not to go forth with her stunt, its details becoming very apparent to me when she hoisted me into her arms.

I may seem like a very dignified gentle-Corgi, as you might tell from my eloquent manner of speaking, but I do enjoy a dose of radical thrills once and a while. The Lightning Viking is the perfect individual to fulfill that prescription, as her mind operates on a different, more extreme level than others. I can think of no other person who would ride down steps on a mattress without a helmet and no clue as to come out of it uninjured.

Thankfully, I was not harmed at all when she and her unconventional mode of transportation collided with the wall at the base of the steps. It was a good thing the Black Cat was passing by, as I leaped into her unsuspecting arms when she jumped out of the way of the incoming Lightning Viking and her cushiony chariot.

To say the Black Cat was not pleased by my presence in her grasp would be a severe understatement. Perhaps I should try and mend our shaky relationship with some unauthorized snuggles. Snuggles are an excellent way to get onto one's good side. Just ask the Crimson Queen.

However, my hunt for gifts ended as quickly as they had begun. Before Black Cat could toss me from her arms, Master Yang appeared with a very guilty Master Ruby at her side. It appeared that my younger Master had let slip the secret mission I had been sent on to her dear sister, and Master Yang had arrived to make sure I could search no longer. I gave Master Ruby an apologetic whine before Master Yang took me to the kitchen for some kibbles to soothe my sadness.

Needless to say, those kibbles did their job well.

I wish to keep this between you and me, but my apology to Master Ruby was a ruse.

I believe I had discovered where the presents were hidden, but it was in a place I would never dare send my kind master into alone. I had not extended my search beyond the large moving picture screen downstairs, and it was the only place I could assume her gifts had been hidden.

And why did I not go into the depths of that darkness, you may ask?

There seems to be something… unnatural back there, residing down in the murky basement of the home where Metal Girl has been spending her free time as of recently. I feel she is connected to it, as her personality has taken quite the dramatic shift lately. She seems more agitated, more grandiose, more…

Oh, what is the word? Hammy? Corny? Gloriously over-charismatic?

In any case, I must keep an eye on this most troubling of suspicions. I would not want to see any harm come to a single one of my friends here, and I hope my fears of dread will not come to fruition.

Anyways, I fear this ends my tale and our time together. Master Ruby and Snow White are squabbling over which one of them will have the honor of snuggling with me tonight as they sleep. Truth be told, I would not mind if they shared a bed with me in between. Double the snuggles means double the fun, I say.

Until next time, chaps.

~ Zwei Rose-Xiao Long