17 chapters in and I'm finally putting one up late. Sorry! I could have posted this yesterday, but I had a few things I wanted to fix. This is by no means perfect, but I hope you like it all the same. Thanks for the reviews! They keep me motivated.
I think this is the first chapter that has taken place entirely over the course of a single day. Weird.
I'm finally going to do it! Today is the day! I'm going to talk to Madame Hooch and ask if I can play quidditch. I would rather speak to her first to make sure this is allowed, instead of going through that embarrassment talking to my team captain. I'm not expecting any special treatment or anything- I know I'm not going to get on the team just because I ask- but I hope that I can at least get some time in the air.
My hands are shaking when I finally get to Madame Hooch's office, but I think even a "normal" person would be nervous right now. I've waited until the end of the day to make sure that she would be here, so now's my chance.
"Good evening!" I call as I knock on the open door.
"Oh, Miss Campbell! Come in, come in. How can I help you?" She gestures to an open chair, but I decline to sit.
"I want to play quidditch," I blurt out, getting straight to the point before I lose my nerve.
"Oh! You've finally changed your mind! I'm glad. You're an excellent flyer. But it's too late in the season to do anything about it now. Tryouts will start again next school year."
"I know I can't be on the team, but is there any way I can practice with them?" I ask.
"Well," she pauses to think for a moment, "that's not impossible. If there's a promising underclassman the captain can make them a reserve and train them up to take a 7th year's place. It's not terribly common, but it does happen."
"So I just have to talk to Davies right?" I presume.
"Right. I'll let him know you're looking for him next time I see him, in case you have trouble meeting him."
"Thank you!"
"Pleasure. Anything else?" She asks as I hesitate to leave.
"When am I allowed on the pitch if I'm not on a team?"
Yes, I'm pretending I never went on the pitch last month. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, and I'd rather not get into any trouble in the future if I try to go again.
"It's a public space. You're welcome to use it as long as it hasn't been booked ahead of time. The teams book the space for their practices so there isn't any overlap or arguments."
"Okay, thanks!" Now to find Davies.
…
The next day I wake up early to get a head start on the Great Hall. I figure if I'm there early, I will have an easier time finding my, hopefully, future captain. The first thing I do is take some calming draught; talking to strangers is not on my list of things that keep me calm. After taking a sip, I notice Mandy staring at me from her perch on her bed.
"Hey Mandy," I call, not impolitely.
"Hi," she calls back awkwardly.
"You're staring, you know."
"I was just wondering what you're drinking over there all the time."
"Ever heard of water?" I get up and start getting ready for the day.
"Out of a potion bottle?" Oh, she's got me there. I turn to let her see me roll my eyes at her.
"It's medicine, alright?"
"I didn't know you were sick." She almost sounds concerned.
"I didn't know it was your business."
"Fine. Whatever. Not like I care." She stomps to the bathroom and shuts the door with unnecessary force. Maybe I was a little harsh there. Well, nothing to be done about it now.
I take another sip of draught, noting that my chest is feeling a bit constricted. That was more of a confrontation than I was expecting this early in the morning. I sigh and shake my head. I'm not letting Mandy slow me down, of all things. I want to play quidditch!
Before I leave, I notice the amulet from Fred poking out of my half-closed bedside drawer. I pull it out and look at it closely. I'm sure it doesn't actually have any protective qualities, but maybe I can make it my good luck charm. The chain is long enough that no one should really notice me wearing it if I leave it under my shirt...Before I can talk myself out of it, I slip it on and head out for the day.
…
I make it into The Great Hall with the early risers- even most of the professors aren't here yet. I sit myself at the edge of the Ravenclaw table with a view of the door and leisurely start eating breakfast. With no idea how long I'll have to wait for my quarry, I might as well enjoy some people watching and eat something.
About twenty minutes later, I note that the professors start making their way in. Hagrid and Professor Sprout come in together, making polite conversation, from the looks of them. Snape follows soon after, looking more sour than usual this early in the morning. Dumbledore comes in after that. He notices me looking at him, but doesn't hold my gaze for more than a moment, for which I am grateful. I am in no mood to deal with him for a while.
My attention is brought back to the front doors of the hall, where a large number of students are starting to make their way through. There's Draco and his crew, looking for someone to bother since they lost their last quidditch match. The twins are here earlier than I would have expected. I forget that despite their fun exterior, they're actually extremely hard workers. Luna sees me before I do her, and she comes to sit across from me.
"You're up early," I comment.
"Am I? I thought you normally came to breakfast after me," Luna answered.
"That's true. I never realized how early you get up. How have things been with your dorm mates?" I suppress the urge to smile, thinking of my little prank from a while back.
"Oh, they've been ignoring me since their hair turned green. They said that I did it, though I think it was the Trow."
"The what?"
"Trow are a bit like pixies, except they're invisible."
"Alright then… So they're just ignoring you instead of bullying you?" I swore vengeance on those girls if they continued bothering Luna, so let's see if they took my threat seriously.
"I suppose," she eventually says, finally starting in on her breakfast.
"You suppose?" I push. What does that mean? She refuses to answer, or loses interest in the conversation, and continues to stare at her breakfast as she eats. Apparently I'm not going to get an answer out of her today. I hope she's alright.
"Are you alright?" Luna asks suddenly. For a scary moment, I wonder if she's a mind reader.
"What?"
"I heard you were sick, but you don't look sick." She leans across the table and looks at me closely. When she reaches a hand out to touch my face, I grab her hand to stop her.
"Where did you hear that from? I'm not sick?" At that moment, Mandy and Lisa walk into the hall, the pair smirking at me, and it falls into place. They come over and sit across from me.
"Hey, Charlotte," Lisa greets. "I heard you were sick. Shouldn't you be in the hospital wing instead of spreading your disease around to innocent first years?" She points a thumb at Luna, otherwise completely ignoring the poor thing.
"Seriously, Mandy?" I turn to her and ask, exasperated. I use my annoyance to smother my anxiety, which is trying to rear its ugly head now that I'm being bombarded again this early in the morning.
"What? If you're taking medicine, you must be sick. I just wanted your "friend" to know what she was being forced to hang around." Damn, that was...surprisingly hurtful.
"You're really good at spreading information," I compliment. Mandy gives me a confused look. "We had that conversation less than an hour ago. It's pretty impressive how quickly you told Luna. How many other people have you told? Half our class or the whole thing?"
If there's one thing I learned from the Harry Potter series, it's that back handed, Slytherin-esque compliments are the best way to go when someone has hurt me. They'll never see my pain, and I don't outright argue with them. Besides, being snide is just so much fun.
"I-I'm just making sure everyone knows so they don't get sick," Mandy stutters, starting to lose her footing. If we were older I would make a sexual comment about communicable diseases, but I refrain.
"Why have you decided to say this now, anyway? We haven't spoken all year, and now you want to start worrying about my existence?"
"Well you've been disappearing from class a lot lately. At first we thought you were skipping, but then you started taking all that medicine..." Lisa answers vaguely.
"You guys pay a lot of attention to me." A lot more than I thought anyone did. Mandy rolls her eyes at this.
"Oh don't get all high and mighty. The world doesn't revolve around you. We just happened to notice. It's not like we room with you or anything. You're hard not to notice, you know," she explains. "I mean, you get to be kind of annoying sometimes," she adds, somewhat half-heartedly, it seems.
"Ouch, how will I ever recover from such venomous words," I deadpan, not phased in the least. I'm starting to wonder if they are actually worried that I'm ill, in their own childish way.
"Whatever. It's not like we care if you die or anything." The pair stand up and stomp away. Was that…? Do they actually think I'm dying?
"What was that?" I whisper to myself.
"I have no idea," Luna answers anyway, continuing to eat her sausage like nothing just happened.
During that weird conversation, Davies had already come into breakfast and sat amongst his friends. Going to talk to him now is going to be embarrassingly awkward, but I'm not gonna give up!
My heart is racing as I stand, my mind made up. I slowly step away from the table, overthinking each act in order to avoid making myself even more nervous, which obviously isn't working. I remind myself to take deep breaths, but even with those reminders my head is swimming and my legs are shaking. I try to take a step forward, but my knee buckles when I pick my foot up. Fortunately, I grab the table before I go crashing to the ground like a spaz, and I put myself back in my seat before I can fall again.
"You don't seem alright," Luna says. She's been watching my whole little freak out.
"I just, uh, forgot to take my medicine." I don't know what to say when my brain is going haywire like this, so I just open my bottle of calming draught and take a long drink. Another breath and a few moments later and my head feels like it's back on straight.
"What kind of medicine is it?" Luna asks.
"It's…" I sigh. "You promise not to tell, right? Even if someone else asks you?"
"Why?"
"It's embarrassing."
"What's embarrassing about being sick?" I stare at Luna for a long moment. She sounds so much like the mature, responsible adult that I should be right now.
"Luna, are you secretly an adult in a child's body and you haven't told me?" I ask. If I'm expecting some sort of telling response from this question, I am disappointed.
"I don't think so. But how would I know if I was?"
"Nevermind." I shake my head, trying to clear it of all the stupid that seems to have clogged it up lately. What am I even doing? I'm supposed to be enjoying my life, not having panic attacks and making enemies with twelve year olds.
"Did the doctor say that you're going to get better?" Luna asks, concerned. I look down the Ravenclaw table at Davies, so close, and yet, he feels a million miles away.
"I don't know, Luna."
…
Charms is a fun class, since I get to practice simple spells that I should be working on anyway, but the theory portion of the class is so dull. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful everyday for my magical education, but since I've already covered all this material myself, hearing Professor Flitwick drone on about the proper wand movements for each spell isn't very fun.
I'm feeling off today, making it even more difficult for me to pay attention. I have a lot on my mind after what happened this morning, and I've already taken far more calming draught than I would like. Why does everyone seem to care what I'm doing? It's not like I'm hurting anyone by taking a potion. I thought I was a lot more inconspicuous, but apparently I've been drawing more attention than I thought.
I try to shake these worries out of my head when Professor Flitwick finally calls for us to start practicing the spell we've been talking about. As he continues talking, a pillow appears on my desk in front of me, just as it does for everyone else in class.
"Don't forget your wand movements!" Professor Flitwick calls as he's looking about the classroom. I usually don't bother with the 'specific wand movement' when practicing spells; in the real world, they're only used with certain spells- ones that demand the movement or won't work at all- most, however, don't require it. What they teach in school is more like learning with training wheels, and I've practiced enough that I would rather work with those off.
"Remember once you make the pillow smaller, the spell to enlarge it is 'engorgio'," Professor Flitwick adds. Yeah, yeah, I got it. The spells to make things larger and smaller are mildly helpful, in the right situation, but I would much rather focus on more important things. I sigh and raise my wand, pointing it at the pillow.
"Reducto."
With a loud rush of air, the pillow in front of me explodes outward, causing feathers to fly throughout the room. A shriek erupts from the girl next to me, and a few of my classmates are laughing at the damage. The pillow itself is now nothing but a pile of ash with a few loose feathers floating around it, and I'm absolutely covered in white.
"Is everyone alright?" Professor Flitwick hops down from his tower of books and hurries over to me. I nod weakly. He looks at the kids next to me, who are both looking flabbergasted. Once our wellbeing has been assured, he moves on to the next thing. "What happened?" We all stare at him for a long moment. "Miss Campbell?"
"I think she used the wrong spell," the girl who had screamed says. I open and close my mouth stupidly. I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I would do something so stupid!
"I...I think I mixed up my spells…" I finally agree lamely, reaching to pull a feather out of my hair. Most of the class is either staring or laughing. My whole body is shaking with embarrassment and fear. That's not a spell I'm supposed to know. What will I say if he asks?
"Did you use the 'reducio' spell?" I can tell from the look in his eye that he has an idea what I did. I don't answer, petrified and unsure what to say, and he just sighs. "Why don't you get yourself cleaned up and I'll see you tonight for detention."
"Detention?!"
"I understand that you made a mistake, but it is inexcusable to be using dangerous spells in the classroom. I'll see you tonight."
"Yes, sir." I don't have the energy to argue for myself. The class continues laughing as I grab my things and walk meekly out of the room. When I shut the classroom door behind me, I take a deep breath and sigh. I'd rather not start crying until I get somewhere safe, and since everyone else will be in class for a while longer, I decide to just head to my bed.
As I'm walking down the hall, wallowing in my misery, who would come to make things worse but Peeves? I've seen in him passing a few times, but I am fortunate enough to say that we haven't met, until now.
"Little firstie has gotten herself full of feathers! Are you a chicken now? Did the Weasel twins catch you?" Peeves laughs rudely.
"I'm not a first year, Peeves, and no, I got myself."
"Oh? Tell me, tell me, tell me!" He flies in circles around me incessantly, and I know he won't stop until I do. I had hoped telling him that I wasn't pranked would get him to leave me alone, but that clearly isn't working.
"I blew up a pillow in class." I speed up my walking, but the ghost has no trouble keeping up.
"I wish I was there! Little firstie making a boom!" He finally stops for a moment as he loses himself in a fit of laughter. Now's my chance to get away! I make a mad dash for the staircase, but Peeves notices and gives chase. "Where are you going?" he shouts.
In a desperate bid to escape, I notice the girl's bathroom coming up on my right and throw myself inside. I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling Peeves doesn't do women's bathrooms. My hunch pays off, as I hear Peeves scream in annoyance and see that he hasn't followed me in, but that doesn't mean I've outrun my problems. I turn and see sitting in front of me are none other than the golden trio.
I blink rapidly, my eyes slowly taking in the scene in front of me: Hermione, Ron, and Harry are sitting on the floor around a boiling potion, and the three are now staring at me with confusion and suspicion. I immediately know what they're doing here, which means they are not going to be happy that they've been caught.
"This isn't what it looks like!" Hermione quickly exclaims, jumping up to stand in front of their potion. Ron smacks his forehead with his palm in exasperation.
"Smooth, Hermione."
"What are you doing here?" Harry asks, looking especially suspicious. He gets up to talk to me as well.
"I, uhh…" I have been barely able to think while the three respond to my presence, nevermind having the chance to answer.
"Have you been following me?" Harry prods.
"What?" Hermione and I both say the same thing.
"Harry don't you think you're being a little paranoid?" Hermione asks, taking the words right out of my mouth. Fortunately I don't have to say it- I understand how hypocritical that would be.
"I just wanted to go to the bathroom…" I finally manage to think of this simple lie.
"And why are you covered with feathers?" Ron pipes up. He hasn't bothered to get up. I look down at my shirt and notice there are still feathers clinging to it. I swipe them off with annoyance and see that my hands are shaking quite noticeably. Once the feathers are gone I hold my hands behind my back, hoping the others didn't see.
"I blew up a pillow in Professor Flitwick's class," I respond, hoping to sound flippant about it.
"That's awesome," Ron laughs. The tension in the room eases slightly, for which I am eternally thankful to him.
"So...I guess you guys don't want me to ask what you're doing." Hermione tries to answer this, but I quickly cut her off. "I don't want to know. You Gryffindors are more than welcome to break the rules- just don't get me involved in it. I'm sure you all can lose house points on your own merits; I don't need to go around being a tattle-tale to win the house cup- I'm no Malfoy. As far as I know, you're practicing a potion and Snape said it was okay." Hermione looks instantly relieved.
"Why should we believe you?" Harry asks, eyes narrowed. Hermione shoots him a frightened look and Ron is clearly uncomfortable.
"What's your problem?" I'm starting to get irritated. I just gave us all an out! I'd like to take it and leave! I'm feeling more and more panicked and just want to get out of here.
"You've lied before. How do I know you're not lying now?"
"I-" It feels like even my voice is shaking now, so I force myself to take a moment to breathe before I speak. "Look, I lied about quidditch, okay? I'm sorry."
"But why?" Harry pushes. His eyes are boring into mine, demanding an answer.
"Harry, stop! You're scaring her!" Hermione steps in, much to my surprise. He pauses before looking at me again, his expression softening. Hermione comes closer, now standing between Harry and I. "Are you alright?"
"W-what are you talking about?" I stutter.
"You're shaking," Ron says, surprising me yet again.
"I'm fine!" I shout, causing all of us to jump. I didn't mean to yell. "I'm sorry." I turn for the door, ready to run, but Hermione grabs my arm before I can get away.
"Wait. You're not fine."
"You can't help!" I'm shouting again, damnit. My yelling causes Hermione to let go, but when I try to leave, my shaking legs give out on me, and I crumple to the ground. Everything that's been weighing on my mind feels like it's physically pushing me down. I can't believe I'm having a breakdown in front of these three. How childish.
Maybe it's because it's these three that I feel so miserable. I know them best and I just want to save them, but I'm the one who is most likely to cause them pain. But now that the timelines are different, who knows? Maybe nothing I do matters.
I lose a few moments of time, lost in my own head. When I come back to reality, Hermione is sitting in front of me, with Harry and Ron nervously looking over me.
"Charlotte?" Hermione is trying to get my attention. I realize I'm crying, and wipe my eyes with a frustrated sigh.
"Sorry. I-" What can I even say? I'm upset because I know your future and it doesn't look pretty? I'm upset that I don't know your future and that's even worse? I'm not your friend but I know you better than anyone?
"Are you sick? Does your Head of House know?" Hermione asks. I stare at her in confusion, slowly realizing what she is saying implies. Looking at the situation from their perspective, it doesn't look like I'm distraught...it looks like I'm ill. I walked in, started shaking, and almost passed out. Even my tears could be of pain or frustration, not emotional upset.
"Yes," I lie, purposely looking away from all of them.
"Is that why you lied about quidditch?" I can hear the dawning realization in Harry's voice. Ah, Harry's constant need to find the underlying pattern is finally coming in handy.
"Yes."
A loud gurgling sound followed by a shriek takes all the attention off me. Until this moment, I have completely forgotten about Moaning Myrtle. Wow, one more person I definitely don't want to deal with today. The ghost screams again, sending water everywhere across the bathroom; the golden trio aren't too surprised, but they're distracted by her antics. I take the rapidly closing window of opportunity to pick myself up off the floor.
"I'd better go," I say quickly as Hermione notices me stand.
"Wait, but-" her reply is cut off by yet another shriek and I duck out before she can stop me. Ugh, what a crappy day, but hopefully that somewhat got Harry off my back? At the very least he'll hopefully be a little less suspicious of me. I'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I've got a lot to think and be stressed about, and I really don't want to have to drink a gallon of potion to get myself calm, so I'm going to head to the Room of Requirement and consider the rest of the day a bust until I have to go to detention.
….
"Miss Campbell, we need to have a talk," Professor Flitwick says when I've sat down for my punishment.
"Okay…" I think I would prefer cleaning grime off of old cauldrons with Snape, but I don't voice that opinion.
"As your Head of House, you know you can come to me with anything, yes? I am here to help make sure you have a safe and enjoyable experience at Hogwarts." I already don't like where this is going… "As such, I have to ask you why you would learn such a dangerous spell and why you would be using it in the classroom." I've prepared for this question, so I have an answer ready.
"Well, reducto is also commonly used to break down old material, such as drywall," I know this off the top of my head, but I try to make it sound like I am reciting something I memorized. "I thought it would be a useful spell to learn in case I needed to do something like that. I didn't think about how dangerous it could be. Of course the book mentioned not to use it on people, but I thought that was fairly obvious."
"And so you used it on a pillow today in class?"
"Completely on accident! I was really tired and you said reducio and I heard reducto because they're really similar sounding and I didn't mean to cause trouble, honestly!" I'm rambling, but I really don't want him to think I'm some up and coming Death Eater or anything.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that it was a simple mistake. There's a reason that spells like that aren't taught in our curriculum. Of course, as the Ravenclaw Head of House, I will never begrudge you learning more than what is taught here, but please be more aware of what you are putting into that head of yours." He taps his own head in emphasis.
"Now, onto another pressing topic." The sternness in his expression falls away, leaving the kind hearted look he usually has in its wake. "Your bunkmates have come to me with concerns that you are not well. This is not normally something I would get involved with for the sake of your privacy, but they were very worried about you. Have you been taking care of yourself? You can talk to me about anything that is bothering you."
I am going to fucking kill those two. I'm doing everything I can to not seethe with rage in front of Professor Flitwick. How dare they get him involved!? I am a fucking adult and can take care of myself! Why is everyone suddenly butting in to my business!?
Professor Flitwick notices my hesitation and continues talking. "I noticed that you have been missing class more frequently as well. I spoke to your other professors, so I know that it's not just my class you are missing."
"I'm starting to feel like you've come to your own conclusions before asking me," I grumble. While I don't want to be too angry with my kindly professor, I am pleased to see that my anger is keeping me more in control of my fear. I have been able to hold back my usually shaking hands, despite feeling cornered in this conversation.
"I just want to make sure you're alright."
"I don't understand why everyone keeps asking me that!" I try very hard not to shout. Maybe letting myself be angry isn't a very smart move. He just gives me a pointed look.
"Your classmates said you were taking a lot of potions and said you were throwing up very frequently. Have you been to Madame Pomfrey to tell her about these episodes?"
...throwing up? What is he talking about?
"I haven't been throwing up at all?"
"There's no need to hide it from me, but if you don't want to talk about it with me you can at least talk to Madame Pomfrey. If you don't want to be honest with me you can finish out the rest of detention sitting here, but if you change your mind you are free to discuss with me." He waits patiently for me to "change my mind", but I am still reeling from what he has said.
"What, exactly, did my bunk mates say to you?" I finally manage to ask.
"I hope you're not upset with them for telling me their concerns-"
"But what did they say I was doing?" I press, cutting him off.
"I'm not sure how this is relevant. You know what your recent actions have been."
"But that's the thing, Professor. Apparently I don't. I haven't been getting sick at all, and I don't know why my bunk mates felt the need to lie about that."
"Now, Charlotte, there is no need to make up stories just because you are embarrassed. Madame Pomfrey can help you through whatever it is you're dealing with."
"I'm not dealing with anything! That's what I'm trying to tell you!" I'm shouting now.
"Your friends and your actions say otherwise, young lady," Professor Flitwick says sternly. "And if you feel the need to shout maybe we need to have a few more detentions to work this out." He pauses for a long moment. "That being said, I wish you would tell me what is actually going on. If your bunkmates are not telling me the truth, what is the truth?"
"I…" don't know what to say…
"I'll be speaking to Madame Pomfrey tomorrow. On top of detention, you will be seeing her in the afternoons after class. If you won't speak to me, maybe you will talk to her. I am sorry for being so adamant about this, but if there is any risk to your health, it is my prerogative as your professor and head of house to be sure that you are well."
"No...that's not necessary..." I immediately feel like a deflated balloon, all of the anger rushing out of me and leaving me hollow.
"Then why are you missing so many classes? And why are your bunk mates "making up" these stories?"
"I don't know," I manage to answer numbly. Professor Flitwick sighs.
"I'll see you tomorrow for class and detention."
Ah shit. How am I going to get out of this mess? Today really has been awful.