I'm sick, I'm tired, this is probs garbage. Enjoy?
"I need a prank- a really, really mean prank," I seethe at the twins. I couldn't stand to go back to my own dorm after that horrible detention, so I headed straight to Gryffindor Tower. After having my weekly discussion with the Fat Lady, I manage to convince her to send the twins out of their common room so I can talk to them.
"Oh, somebody messed with little Charlotte…" George grins wickedly. We're a little ways down from the Fat Lady, to avoid being overheard.
"Who was it?" Fred looks angry, but I don't bother to find out why.
"My stupid bunk mates don't know how to stay out of my business, and I'm going to make them pay for it."
"What did they do?" Fred asks, as he begins to lead me down an empty hallway. I don't care where we're going- I just want revenge.
"They...They're just awful, okay?" I'm practically growling with rage.
"Man, whatever they did, they've got you all kinds of riled up. I can't wait to see what damage you cause," George laughs. They lead me inside an empty classroom, where they start pulling all sorts of pranking goods out of their pockets and out from under desks. I would normally be more curious about this, but I'm too busy seeing red to care.
"Have you talked to them?" Fred asks quietly, almost as an aside.
"What?" Did I hear him right?
"Have you talked to your bunk mates?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Just curious." Fred ignores the odd look his brother and I are giving him.
"So what should we do?" George asks.
"I want to set them on fire."
"Wow, you're really mad, huh?" George laughs again. "Well, have I got the perfect spell for you." He reaches to pull out his wand, but Fred is much faster.
"Affecto Incendio!" Fred catches his brother off guard, and I shriek when he's engorged in flame.
"Don't worry! It's fake," George calls over the sounds of the fire. It's not hurting him, clearly, and it's also not destroying anything it touches. In fact, it hasn't even jumped off of George, only staying on the subject that Fred cast it on.
"How…?" Well that's a stupid question, but I'm still amazed by the simple bit of magic. "Does water put it out?" I finally think to ask. Fred conjures a large amount of water over his brother's head.
"Only one way to find out." He grins. His brother doesn't notice until the last moment.
"Oi, Fred!" He tries to jump out of the way, but is far too late and the floating water is dumped unceremoniously on George's head- the fire stays, despite him being soaking wet.
"How do you get it to stop?" I ask between giggles.
"Incendio Affecto!" George points his wand at himself, and the false fire goes out.
"Saying the spell in reverse order?"
"Well, seeing as we invented it, we wanted something simple," Fred grins.
"For real? That's amazing!"
"Eh, you know. We have our moments." They high five, George still sopping wet.
"Gimme a hug, Charlotte!" He suddenly reaches for me and I race for the door.
"Thanks but no thanks! I'll let you know how the pranking goes!" I call as I run away.
"Get back here!" George calls, sprinting after me.
"I'll hold him back while you escape!" I hear a loud thump and turn to see that Fred has body slammed his brother to the ground, effectively stopping him.
"You traitor!" George shouts, wriggling beneath him.
"Bye, guys!" I'm laughing so hard I can barely make it down the hall. My bad mood is all but gone. I really need to thank them properly later.
…
Unfortunately, removing my anger does not help my anxiety. While coming up with a revenge plan has taken the edge off, I'm still, overall, a nervous wreck. What am I going to tell Madame Pomfrey or Professor Flitwick tomorrow? Why can't I come up with any good ideas? My brain feels like it's barely functioning. At this rate, the whole damn school will know I'm falling apart.
I continue to fight the urge to take more calming draught, even though I have it in my bag with me. Part of me wonders if taking it now will help me think better, but I've already taken more than enough today, I need to preserve what I have left. Hopefully I can wait until tomorrow, and I'll take it before my detention to come up with a good idea if I have to.
I rub my temples and groan in exasperation as I head back to my dorm. Hopefully setting my bunk mates on fire will make me feel better. That train of thought is so funny I can't help but laugh just imagining it.
"What are you laughing about like a freak?" I'm surprised to see Draco headed towards me at the opposite end of the hall.
"Oh, nothing important. What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be in the dungeons at this hour?"
"That's none of your business, Campbell."
"Alright, no need to get snappy. I was just curious."
"Speaking of curiosity, what did you say to your boyfriend? He looks more mopey than usual, and he's been glaring at me for days." Draco somehow manages to look haughty while saying something so ridiculous.
"What? We're not..." My mind immediately goes to Fred, and how Luna said he likes me.
"Don't even bother lying. Your blushing like a schoolgirl."
"I am a schoolgirl, dummy! Anyway, I'm not blushing and I don't know what you're talking about." Not my best argument, but I can't be bothered to think of another one.
"I have no idea what Nott sees in you. You're clearly not very bright," Draco sneers.
"Then why do you keep talking to me?" I ask, crossing my arms in exasperation. Draco pauses and I'm surprised to see he is actually considering my question.
"Someone has to make sure Nott isn't making a fool of himself," he finally says grudgingly. I'm taken aback by his answer.
"I didn't know you cared."
"I don't! I just don't want someone like Nott to be brought down by some no name like you."
"That means you care," I argue.
"In your dreams, Campbell. I've got somewhere to be." He pushes past me, purposely knocking into my shoulder as he passes.
"Oh yeah, he definitely cares," I chuckle to myself as I continue on my way.
…
Getting to Ravenclaw Common Room and with nothing left to distract me, my anger starts to rise again. Despite how mad I am, I'm not stupid enough to go in to my dorm room with my wand blazing, not least because Mandy and Lisa aren't the only ones who will be there. That being said, I'm sure I'm going to get caught for this prank regardless if I'm seen executing it or not. I'm not naive enough to think I'll get away with this, but that doesn't mean my revenge will be any less sweet.
Since I'm sure I'll be caught, I am going to confront those little bullies tonight, but I'll set them on fire while they sleep. If I'm lucky, they'll have nightmares for months after this. Just because I'm more than likely to be caught doesn't mean I want obvious witnesses- I'd rather them wonder, even if only for a moment.
I burst into my dorm, letting my anger completely take over. If I don't let it have control, there's no way I'd be brave enough to just start calling people out like I'm about to. No one seems to notice my entrance. I catch sight of Mandy and Lisa sitting together on Mandy's bed, gossiping I'm sure, and I march straight up to them.
"What the hell is your problem?" I seethe at the pair. Lisa rolls her eyes.
"Why do you always have to be so dramatic, Charlotte?"
"Not only did you lie and tell our classmates that I'm sick, you told our Head of House too?"
"We didn't lie! You've been taking medicine all the time!" Mandy argues.
"You told Professor Flitwick that I've been throwing up. Where did you even get that from?"
"Well, we needed more evidence if he was going to believe us," Lisa explains.
"So you made something up? Thanks to you guys, I'm in trouble for being a "liar" even though you're the ones spreading these rumors around about me!"
"Well we just wanted to make sure you weren't spreading anything nasty around our dorm," Mandy sniffs.
"You're not even sorry, are you? You two lied, got me in trouble, and for what? So you could gloat?"
"Sorry? Why would we be sorry? We're watching out for everyone else's wellbeing. There's nothing to be sorry for," Lisa says. Oh I can't wait to set her on fire.
"What did I ever do to you two? If you didn't want to be friends, you could have just said so from the start! This is so childish."
"Childish?" Lisa laughs bitterly. "That's rich coming from you. We didn't want to be friends with you because you were such an obnoxious, childish, know-it-all. You wouldn't even study with us, before you got stupid." Ouch, that actually kinda hurt. Mandy looks away, but doesn't disagree.
I realize Lisa's referring to my drop in grades starting around the middle of last year and before I think it through I reply, "I guess you weren't smart enough to realize that I dropped my grades on purpose".
"What? Why?" Mandy asks, aghast. Shit, my anger totally got the better of me. I shouldn't have said that. Might as well be honest, I guess.
"I just wanted to be left alone," I admit quietly, not wanting anyone else to overhear, not that they seem to be listening. "You guys and everyone else just wanted to be around me for my grades, so I stopped trying so hard."
"You can't be serious," Lisa says. "You just got stupid…"
"Right after you guys stopped wanting to hang out with me? Weird timing," I explain sarcastically.
"You gave up your top spot just for that?" Mandy asks. "I wouldn't give it up for anything."
"Well, being followed around all the time and being bullied when I refused to help you guys study wasn't really worth it. Besides, it's not like I don't know I can get the top spot, and that matters much more to me, in the end." That last part was a bit of a lie. Being smarter than a bunch of twelve year olds doesn't really do a whole lot for me in terms of pride.
Lisa and Mandy both look shaken by my revelation.
"But you're sick, aren't you?" Mandy eventually asks.
"Where do you guys keep getting that from?" I must sound so exasperated because I am.
"You've been acting so weird lately, and you keep drinking all that potion, whatever it is. Plus you sleep in the infirmary like, all the time," Lisa answers.
Oh! They think whenever I'm in the Room of Requirement that I'm actually in the infirmary. Now their "worries" make a little more sense.
"So did you guys forget that I get migraines, or did you just not care?" To be honest, I forgot that I "get migraines" since it was a stupid lie I'd made up.
"You haven't said anything about it since last year. We thought you got over that," Lisa says.
"Yeah, I thought Madame Pomfrey cured you," Mandy agrees before adding, "Not that we care".
Shit, did she say that? Can magic cure those? Hell if I know! Maybe I should be studying more mediwizardry. That would probably be smart...
"Well, geez, tell me how you really feel," I manage.
"And why're you always making jokes about everything? You never take anything seriously and the rest of the time you're just whining," Lisa says.
What the hell, Lisa. We're twelve. Why should we be taking stuff seriously? Well, why should you be taking things seriously, is more correct. I've got enough to take seriously to not sweat the small stuff, like being bullied and having my reputation sullied by my bunkmates. But obviously I can't say any of this out loud.
"If you didn't want to deal with me anymore, why can't you just leave me alone? We were doing fine up until now," I decide to say.
"You're trying to make us sick with whatever weird disease you have," Mandy answers.
"Would you let that go already?! I'm not sick!"
"Then what's wrong with you?" Lisa demands to know.
"I just want to be left alone, is that so much to ask?"
"Then maybe you should move into the infirmary instead of having a bunk here. It's not like you're ever here anyway," Mandy suggests.
"Well if my presence is such a bother to you than maybe I will!" I agree, turning and stomping away. Oh yeah, I'm totally going to set them on fire.
Lisa and Mandy immediately go back to whispering to each other and shooting me dirty looks. They're so gonna pay for making my life miserable. My maturity knows no bounds, but after that frustratingly circular conversation, I don't care anymore. If they had apologized, or at least felt bad, I would have considered changing my mind, but I don't want to go back anymore. If I'm going to be in trouble anyway, I want it to be on my terms.
I draw my curtain around my bed to hide myself from their snide expressions and immediately put up a silencing charm. Next I set my alarm for 5am, a sure time that everyone will still be asleep, but late enough into the morning that I won't mind staying up for the rest of the day. With my preparations set, I close my eyes, the promise of revenge lulling me into unconsciousness.
…
My alarm wakes me from a restless sleep. I can't wait to see how badly this goes. With a mirthless smile, I grab my wand and cast a few spells in quick succession. A cushioning spell to quiet my footfalls and the disillusionment charm that Grandma taught me. I doubt anyone will notice me, but it never hurts to be overly cautious.
With those spells out of the way, I slowly pull back my curtains and step out of bed. This is it! I carefully make my way over to Mandy's bed first (she's the heavier sleeper) and cast the spell, Affecto Incendio.
The false fire blooms instantly in the darkness of our dorm. I'm on a very short timer now. I hustle over to Lisa, repeating the process and then dive into bed, closing my curtains with no worries about the sound they will make thanks to my silencing charm from last night.
Now I just have to wait. I gleefully lay back down and watch the fire create beautiful shadows on my curtains. As I'm waiting, I remember a little charm that I thought might come in handy someday and cast it on myself, immediately causing the world to muffle the world around me. No use going deaf listening to all these prepubescent girls scream their lungs out.
And boy do they scream…
"Ahh!" I'm not really sure who starts it, considering their voices are muffled and I can't see them until I draw my curtains back. The scene beyond my bed is absolute chaos, and the urge to laugh is so intense I have to cover my mouth to stop it.
In the seconds it took my to sit up and get a good view, Lisa and Mandy have both thrown themselves on the floor of the dorm, rolling around in what appears to be agony. Apparently neither of them have yet realized that they're not actually in any pain.
By the time I've quelled my urge to laugh at them, the rest of the girls are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, going in every which direction doing a thousand different things; most of them are trying to barrel for the exit, leaving Mandy and Lisa to their fates, which leaves me supremely satisfied in an awful sort of way. Some are trying to help, but being a bunch of second years, are ill equipped magically and are quite useless physically. A few are desperately trying to remember spells they've read to conjure water, while others have run to the bathroom to try and throw cupfuls of it on the girls.
It doesn't take long for the panicked girls who were initially clamoring for the exit to disappear, so now is the time for me to put an end to this little prank. I don't want anyone other than this dorm to actually witness it, and once teachers get involved it will be nearly impossible for me to put it out without being caught outright.
I get out of bed and make my way over to the exit of our dorm, pretending that I'm off to escape. Once the fire is out, I'll duck out of the dorm and wait with everyone else. That will put off a tiny bit of suspicion, at least for a little while.
Incendio Affecto, I say clearly but quietly, pointing my wand at Mandy. The fire disappears instantly, just as a girl dumps a large glass of water on Mandy's face. Perfect timing. I do this once again to Lisa, and the mad dashing of the other girls finally slows. It takes Lisa some time to realize she isn't on fire anymore, continuing to roll on the ground for a bit until someone grabs her and makes her stop.
I slip out the door before anyone can notice me, bounding down the stairs to the common room, where I am nearly barreled over by our prefects racing past me. They'll be happy to know there's no real emergency.
I almost forget that I have the disillusionment charm on me, which is why no one looks up when I enter the common area. There are a lot more people down here than I expected, and for a moment I feel a pang of guilt- I didn't mean to disrupt so many people, but the screaming girls doubtlessly woke them up.
To avoid thinking about that any further, I decide to head to the bathroom and undo the spell on myself, before I forget or things get hectic for some reason. When I come back out, our prefects are walking Lisa and Mandy down the stairs, the two sopping wet girls sputtering loudly enough for us all to hear.
"But we really were on fire!" Mandy shouts, nearly incoherent.
"Yeah I'm sure," the prefect leads her out of the common room, probably to Madame Pomfrey to get her head checked.
"They're the ones that woke us up at 5am?" I overhear an upperclassman complain.
"They are so in for it when they get back," another one says menacingly.
Uh oh. I hope it's a quiet affair when the professors catch me, or else I may have just made more enemies than I intended…
"Everything is fine! You can go back to bed!" Another prefect calls, and we all start heading back to our rooms. I doubt I'll be able to fall asleep after all this; I've got a lot to think about.
I thought I would feel better after my prank, and for the most part I do. They got what they deserved and the image of the bullies soaking wet and rolling on the floor definitely made up for some of the suffering they caused me. So why do I also feel sort of bad? I'll ask the twins about it, maybe this is a normal feeling to have after a prank?
…
"It's totally not normal," George shakes his head, his arms crossed.
"You didn't even think about it!" I whine.
"There's nothing to think about! Feeling guilty after a prank defeats the purpose of it. It's meant to get a laugh."
"Even if the only person laughing is you," Fred adds. The three of us are conferring in an empty classroom, due to the sensitivity of our subject matter.
"Was it too much?" I ask.
"Well you probably made a few enemies," Fred says. "But that's sort of the point."
"And you didn't hurt anyone," George adds.
"So good job!" The two say together, both holding up a hand for a high five. I oblige them.
"Thanks for your help, guys. I couldn't have done it without you."
"Spreading mayhem is what we do! We're happy to help anytime, even though you did all the work. We just gave you the spell," Fred beams.
"Next time we hang out though, let's make it less business and more fun! You could use a snow day," George says.
"Oh, okay," I agree awkwardly.
"See ya later, Char!" The two bound off, full of energy as usual. I follow them out of the room more slowly and make my way to class.
Ironically, despite all the craziness from this morning, I haven't been feeling very anxious today. I mean, I suppose I am, since I'm worried about when or if I'll get caught for my prank, but at the same time, I'm not shaking like a leaf. I had planned on taking some of my potion before I went on my little adventure, but I completely forgot. Of course, now that I'm thinking about it I want to take more, but I think I'll try to hold off a little longer.
…
In a manner wholly unlike my usual self, as of late, I manage to take the start of my day in stride and just enjoy my class for a while. Things are going to blow up in my face, probably soon, but what is freaking out about it going to do for me? I keep thinking this whenever I feel my anxiety bubble up, and it feels like a miracle that this is enough to keep me sane.
Sitting in Transfiguration class, finishing our lesson on how to turn a porcupine into a pin cushion (when is this going to be pertinent in real life?) I idly think about quidditch. If I get caught for my prank, I probably won't be able to play anytime soon, not that I was actually going to get on the team anyway. Way to think ahead, Campbell. This is the kind of behaviour an actual twelve year old would exhibit. Lately I've been acting so ridiculously no one would even believe me if I said I was an adult.
Maybe this is exactly what I needed though- I needed to freak out and be ridiculous for a little while in order to calm down. Now I'll suffer the repercussions of my bad behaviour and then I'll chill out and be back to normal. I can only hope.
Midway through Transfiguration practice, Professor McGonagall comes over to me and says quietly, "You've been summoned to Professor Dumbledore's office. The password is Chocolate Frogs. You know the way, yes?"
"Yes, ma'am." I gather my belongings, sure of what's to come. Mandy and Lisa definitely ratted me out. I mean, there isn't really anyone else who would set them on fire (I assume?), so it was only a matter of time.
…
Standing in front of the large statue guarding Professor Dumbledore's office, I start to finally feel like I made a big mistake. Before I was unsure, but now, standing here, I feel like maybe this was a fuck up on my part. I certainly wanted to avoid Dumbledore for the next fiveish-oh shit he dies before the 7th book- fourish years after our last fiasco, but here I am, putting myself in bad situations to get myself a one way ticket to a private conversation with him.
"Chocolate Frogs," I say hesitantly, waiting until the statue has stopped moving completely before stepping on the bottom stair and letting the magical staircase carry me up. On the way I take some meditative breaths, fortifying my mental shield, and for good measure, take some potion from my bag to keep me steady.
"Ah, there you are Miss Campbell, please, take a seat." He picks up a chocolate frog from his desk, unwraps it, and pops it in his mouth quickly. The enchanted candy tried valiantly to make an escape, but the old wizard was too quick for it. He looks at the pile of candies on his desk and back up at me, but seems to think better of asking me if I want one. Figures. "I assume you know why you're here?"
Well, it's not hard to guess, though I'm happy I'm alone in my interrogation and don't have to hear those two brats whining about how I nearly killed them.
"You wanted to see me?" I ask/guess. I've already established a bad rapport with the guy, might as well enjoy being an ass, am I right? ….probably not.
The last time I spoke to Dumbledore was when I admitted both that I'm a seer and that I can no longer see the future. That's probably why he hasn't made me his hostage and forced me to tell him everything, though even if my knowledge isn't as useful, if I were him I would still want to know what I had originally seen. So why hasn't he forced it out of me?
"That is partially true, yes. I am a bit concerned for your emotional wellbeing."
"Uh-Wait, I'm sorry. What?"
"Madame Pomfrey has told me that you have been taking her calming draughts longer than she had anticipated you needing them, and after what happened this morning…"
"You can't think I was involved in that?!" I ask indignantly. Damn maybe I should consider acting professionally, except clearly I need a better script because the headmaster quickly shuts me down.
"I never said I thought you were," he eyes me intently, clearly expressing that he knows I was involved, even if his words say otherwise. Man, why am I always so quick to jump the gun? I need to be more level headed in situations like this!
"The calming draughts help me on my tests," I lie, going back to what he had said earlier. I'm still careful to never look him in the eye, just in case he changes his mind about forcing answers out of me.
"That is not its intended purpose, nor is it something you should be relying on in your daily life," he adds seriously.
Ugh, he knows I've been abusing it. I mean, he caught me the first time I drank way too much, though I haven't gotten that bad since that night...often. Maybe that's the reason he hasn't tried to pry any information out of me- he knows it all already and I'm so damn easy to read to reaffirm his knowledge. Why am I so bad at this? I sigh deeply.
"I don't need to be coddled," I finally say.
"You are a young girl lashing out at her classmates in anger. You have clearly shown that you are not taking care of what is ailing you in a reasonable manner...It would help me and those who are worried about you to know what is bothering you."
"Well maybe if anyone listened to what I had to say, I would be more willing to talk!"
"What do you mean?"
"I told Professor Flitwick repeatedly that the things my classmates were saying about me weren't true," I explain, careful not to name Lisa and Mandy in particular, not that it really matters. "But he believed them over me just because the two of them made up lies together."
"I think there may have been more reason for him to worry about you than that," Dumbledore gently disagrees.
"Well I missed class because of what happened after the quidditch match, so he must have made a conjecture from that."
"You only missed class for one day?" That obnoxious twinkle in his eyes is back. There's no point lying.
"And maybe a day or two after... and a few inbetween."
"And those absences were due to…?"
"I didn't feel like going."
"Miss Campbell, I feel as if we have gone back to the start of our conversation, don't you? Maybe it would be best to be more succinct."
"Maybe I just don't want to talk about it." I fold my arms like the petulant child I know I'm being.
"For the future safety of your classmates, I don't think that is wise." I roll my eyes at this.
"Nobody got hurt."
"Today," he says quietly. I look up at the headmaster in shock.
"You really think I would hurt them?" I ask, realization finally dawning on me.
"Now that the future is uncertain, your actions no longer hold the consequences they once did, correct? What's to stop you, then, from hurting those who stood in your way?" The headmaster asks me solemnly.
Holy shit man! I know you're used to dealing with a sociopath bent on world domination, but that's insane! I decide to play dumb and see where it gets me.
"Professor, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'm twelve. I'm not going to kill my classmates because they bullied me." For good, childish measure I add, "I'm not evil, geez." Dumbledore pauses for a moment at this, and then chuckles for a few moments.
"Yes, you're quite right. I'm sorry for making assumptions about you," he says placatingly.
"I only want what's best for everyone," I say honestly, looking him in the eye for the first time. I want him to know I mean what I'm saying, for once. His expression flashes to something I don't know how to describe, but it's gone in a moment.
"For the greater good?"
There is a pause so deafening in it's silence I am not sure my voice alone will be able to break it. The implication of his question is not lost on me, and I'm sure the horror on my face proves many things I would rather it didn't, but lies are not my specialty, no matter how often I like to flatter myself. I'm not sure which side of "the greater good" he thinks I am a part of, Grindlewald's "kill the muggles" or Dumbledore's current "screw the individual for the sake of the masses" but I don't agree with either.
"No," I finally manage to say. "I'm not fighting for the greater good. I'm fighting for my own good."