Announcement: With schoolwork piling up at the end of this month, I have been bulk writing chapters in my spare time. And judging by the pace it has been going, this fic will 95% likely be reaching its conclusion next month (unless some freak incident occurs). I can guess you all know that this was coming, with the day timer almost reaching 30, but I just felt like I should say something well ahead of time. I'm projecting it to end within the mid 80's chapter wise, but I know for certain there will be less than 100 chapters altogether.

I haven't thanked you guys in a while either for following/favoriting/laughing at this crazy story, so... Thanks!

Day 27/30

Some people are just accident prone. One of those people was Jaune Arc. Somehow, no matter the situation, he always ended up on the wrong side of something unfortunate. Perhaps the most unfortunate incident was back at Beacon when he accidentally walked into the girl's locker room and Weiss decked him in the mouth for seeing her in her 'unmentionables'. God damn that Cardin Winchester for switching the gender signs; he nearly had his front teeth chipped because of that!

Today wasn't as perverted, but it sure as heck hurt a lot more. Jaune was just minding his own business, walking back to his room after getting some snacks for him and Pyrrha. It was finally time for them to start watching the rest of the Galactic Conquest films, and he knew Pyrrha was going to love the second installment and its higher levels of romance. She would shower him with affection at any opportunity, and Jaune knew she would crank it up to eleven.

But not that far; he'd have to stop her then. Trying to watch the movie while getting very, very personal would be too difficult of multitasking for him to handle.

With a big plate of chips and drinks in his hands, Jaune just passed by Ruby's room when the door flew wide open and nearly hit him in the face.

Or, at least he wished that was the case. If only he had walked just a bit faster he could have avoided an entire platter of food being crushed into his shirt, not to mention his nose getting very acquainted with the hard, mahogany wood door. Jaune was surprised his nose could even bleed that much.

Pyrrha had heard him scream and rushed from their room to his aid. Poor Ruby felt so terrible for almost breaking his nose, offering to clean up the mess of food all over the carpet. Being the macho-man he liked to think he was, Jaune told Nikos to help Ruby out as he went to deal with his battle wound on his own in the bathroom.

Which brings us to the present, with Jaune hunched over the toilet with an empty roll of paper towels at his feet. Seriously, that door must have broken a vessel or something! The toilet water was as red as an apple with all the used towels he had shoved in!

"This better be the last one…" Jaune mumbled, removing the white sheet from his nostrils. Thankfully, it seemed his leakage had finally stopped with only a faint speck of pink visible. He dropped it into the water, noticing that he couldn't even see the hole at the bottom anymore. Not thinking much of it, he went and flushed the toilet.

"Oh, man," Jaune stood and looked at himself in the mirror, blotches of dry blood staining his skin, "I look like I was just possessed or something!"

As he splashed water on his face, Jaune realized he hadn't heard the loud sound of flushing from behind him. He spun around to see that the water level had risen just a bit higher than he last remembered. Almost a little too high, in fact. Shrugging, he just flushed it again.

"Now that isn't right," said Arc, scratching his head as the water didn't even make the slightest of ripples. His dad hadn't really taught him much about plumbing, so this was something he probably shouldn't mess with...

But if he did manage to fix it by himself, it'd make him look even more macho. Jaune's ego wasn't on the same level as Mercury's, but he still needed to stroke it once and a while. Jaune grabbed the plunger, studying the suction cup end before shoving it into the bowl. A gush of nasty red water seeped out from between the seat and the rim the moment he did so.

"Plan B, I guess?"

Flipping the tool around, Jaune poked the mass of soaked paper towels with the wooden handle end. What he had not known was that this was the same plunger Cinder had cracked in half two weeks ago to threaten Roman with, and had been shoddily taped up to hold it together.

So of course it snapped on him.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Jaune threw the suction cup onto the wall as the handle sunk deeper into the toilet, "Now you listen here! You're gonna flush one way or another!"

For whatever reason, Arc thought he saw the water levels recede a bit. Grinning, he dropped to his knees and rapidly started flushing. The sounds of gurgling water sounded like victory to him.

Oh-ho, not even close.

"GLLUUURRRGGHHH!"

Like a whale shooting mist from its blowhole, Jaune got his first (and hopefully last) taste of toilet water. He flailed backwards, screaming as a shower of water rained down on him and soaked the entire bathroom.

"Stop! Stop!"

And then there was a knock on the door.

"Hurry up!" Weiss ordered from outside, oblivious to the sounds of chaos from within, "Other people have to go too!"

"No!" Jaune shouted, kicking into the bowl to try and stop the overflow, "Give me like ten minutes!"

"Come on, Jaune! I can't wait too much longer…!"

"J-Just hold on Weiss!" Suddenly, Jaune couldn't pull up his leg. He looked down in absolute horror as he realized he had jammed his shoe right into the maw of the porcelain beast, with the water now flowing out like a waterfall. "Oh, sweet God no."

There was a second knock, and Jaune's stomach dropped at the sound of Pyrrha's voice.

"Jaune? Are you okay in there?"

"Y-yeah!" Jaune didn't care if the Gods struck him down with a bolt of lightning for lying to his girl; the very last thing he wanted Pyrrha to see was him with his foot stuck in the shitter. "Just dandy!"

"Are you sure? You sound quite flustered."

"Nope! Not at all!"

"Get him out of there!" Weiss said, legs now crossed, "I really have to go!"

"Jaune, please open the door. Weiss really has to use the restroom."

"I-I would if I could!" Arc pushed on the wall with his free leg, using whatever leverage he could to free himself, "Kinda in the middle of something!"

"I am going to open that door!" Weiss yelled, her voice strained, "You have five seconds to finish, and then I am going in regardless of what you're doing!"

"Please don't!"

"FIVE!"

"Oh, come on! Don't count!"

"Are you sure you don't need my help?" Pyrrha asked once more.

"FOUR!"

"Get Weiss a bedpan or something!"

"THREE!"

"I don't think we have bedpans here, Jaune."

"TWO!"

"Shit-shit-shit! Get outta that damn hole, foot!"

"What hole is your foot-

"ONE!"

"WHAA!"

With one last kick, Jaune's foot popped out of the toilet. He flew backwards into Weiss just as he kicked the door in, the two jumbled together as the porcelain monster went into full-on rage mode. Pyrrha's eyes widened in total fear at the sight of red and brown water bubbling at the brim just before it erupted like a geyser.

"Get down!"

Jaune tackled Pyrrha to the ground seconds before a gush of water blasted through the doorway. Unfortunately for Weiss, no one had come to her rescue and she was drenched by the smelliest of H2O.

"AIIEEE!" Schnee cried out, doing her best to cover herself from the sewage. Luckily, she was able to scurry out of the way, gagging the entire time. "I-I'm gonna… be sick… URP-!"

Even though Weiss had managed to escape, the water was still gushing out. Jaune knew he had started this problem, and he had to fix it. Climbing over Pyrrha, he dove under the gushing water and reached into the room for the door. He pulled it outwards as fast as he could to trap the overflow, the stream pounding on the door like a heavy rainfall would on a rooftop. Just as the commotion started to die down, Ruby, Ren, Adam, and the Lieutenant ran onto the scene in investigation.

"What the heck was that?!" Ruby asked, noticing her bestie leaning into a potted plant, "Weiss! What happened to you?!"

"I… never want to remember this… ever."

"Sounds like a thunderstorm in there!" the Lieutenant exclaimed.

"More like a shit-storm if you ask me!" Yang grinned, receiving annoyed looks from everyone, "Oh, come on. That one was perfect."

Ren stepped in front of Xiao Long to give Jaune a disappointed look, "Please tell me you didn't flush it rapidly."

"I… may have done that," Jaune admitted, "I may have also clogged it up with paper towels and part of a plunger, but that's all just a hypothetical right now, you know? Heh-heh…"

"I'm not laughing Jaune."

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't."

"So how are you going to fix it?" Pyrrha asked Ren, "Sounds to me like we can't even open that door without getting wet."

Tapping his finger to his chin, Ren let the gears turn in his head. His jack-of-all-trades training had prepared him for moments like this, though indoor plumbing wasn't his strong suit. There was only one thing he could think of, but it would cost them a high price.

"Ruby, go get Weiss cleaned up somewhere. We don't want her to get sick. Lieutenant, I'm going to need your help with this one."

"What about me?" Jaune asked, "I mean, I am responsible for this whole thing and all. Feel like I should at least try and fix it in some way."

"You just stay away from the bathroom. Far, far away from it."

"I… Yeah, I'm not gonna argue with that one."