STNG: ATTACHED NO MORE

S. D. Veselka

Chapter 1

After she left Picard's quarters Beverly thought about going and talking to Deanna. Then changed her mind, perhaps she would sleep on it first and talk to Deanna in the morning. She now had a better understanding of what Deanna had lost several years ago. She could well imagine how the sudden quiet in Deanna's head could have driven her mad when she had been used to the voices in her head all her life. She and Jean-Luc had only been connected for twenty-four hours or so, and she missed him in some small way she did not understand. As she entered her quarters she decided to leave a message for Deanna, to contact her in the morning. She really must speak with Deanna about this, and let her know that the Captain might need to talk to her as well.

Beverly was called into Sickbay early the next morning, causing her to miss her usual breakfast date with the Captain. She was just finishing her reports on the patient whose case had called her out of bed when Deanna tapped on her door frame.

"You wanted to talk?" she inquired.

Beverly glanced up with a smile. "Yes, I did. I have a few questions for you. Just let me finish…" she paused when she saw the Captain come up behind Deanna. He had a tray in his hands.

Deanna watched and felt the change come over Beverly, and she noticed the Captain's presence. She turned to find the Captain behind her holding a tray. On it was coffee and croissants, and from the two people she stood between she felt something different and new. She turned back to Beverly and saw that she had turned slightly pink and had a very interesting smile on her face. She stepped aside to allow the Captain to enter the office. Seeing was not needed at the moment Deanna said, "Let me know when you are ready for those answers." She waited a moment for an answer. Receiving none she tried again to get Beverly's attention. "Beverly." Still, she received no response. Louder this time, "Beverly!"

Finally hearing her name Beverly looked up at Deanna, "I'm sorry, did you need me for something Deanna?"

Realizing that Beverly didn't want the Captain to know she wanted to talk to her, Deanna played along. "I just wanted to discuss someone with you, but it can wait until later. Let me know when you have time to talk." She left but had the feeling that neither the Captain nor the Doctor knew she had.

As the Captain set the tray down her smile became wider, "What's this?" she asked.

When you didn't show for breakfast this morning, I inquired as to why. When I found out what happened, I knew you haven't taken the time to eat. So I decided to bring you something," he replied.

"Nothing fancy I see."

"No," he said with a smile. "I thought we agreed on a more simple fair for breakfast from now on."

"We had. I just wasn't expecting to have it brought to me this morning. I was busy and figured we would start in the morning."

He smiled as he placed her plate with the croissant on it in front of her and handed her the coffee. "Yes, but why wait until tomorrow, you still need to eat breakfast today. Right?"

"You were right, simpler is better for breakfast. I'll save the exotic menu for dinner." She laughed at his expression

Up on the Bridge Deanna questioned Will. "How were the Captain and the Doctor when they came on board yesterday? Did you notice anything unusual in their demeanor?"

"Possibly, why?"

"Beverly left me a message last night, that she wanted to see me this morning. Right after I got to her office the Captain arrived with a tray. He had brought her breakfast because she had missed their usual morning meal. I got the impression that she did not want him to know that she had wanted to talk to me about something. Do you have a clue as to what that something might be?"

"I don't know what Beverly might want. But I noticed something on the back of the Captain's neck as I followed him from the Transporter Room. And they seemed to be having a private conversation, or maybe I should say, they were laughing about something, but I don't know what it was about."

"You don't think that perhaps…" She hesitated. Not sure how to put into words what she was thinking.

He turned toward her in the chair, hoping she would continue with her thought. "What are you thinking," he was asking when the lift doors opened and the Captain entered the Bridge.

At the end of the ramp, the Captain hesitated. Will rose from the Captain's chair and started to move to his own. But the Captain's next words halted his movements. "Will can I speak with you, please?"

Will glanced down at Deanna as the Captain turned toward his Ready Room. His look said, "What's this all about?"

Deanna returned his quizzical look with a negative shake of her head. Once the two men were safely out of sight, she left the Bridge and headed for Sickbay. As she reached Sickbay she encountered Beverly leaving.

Beverly saw her instantly, "Oh good. I was just coming to look for you. Are you available to talk now?"

"Yes, I was just coming to ask you the same thing. Where do you want to go?"

"How about your Quarters. I don't want to risk Jean-Luc interrupting us again. I want to have answers to these questions before I see him again."

"I don't think we have to worry about that for a while right now," Deanna replied as they headed for the Lift and her Quarters.

"Good. I take it that means he will be busy for a while. Perhaps reporting back to Starfleet about the Kes and the Prytt."

"Something like that," was Deanna's reply. They entered her Quarters and she offered Beverly something to drink.

"No, thank you. I don't want anything right now." She took off her smock and laid it over the back of a chair. Then sat down across from Deanna.

Deanna waited quietly for Beverly to start talking. Finally, she did.

"I know you haven't had time to read the reports about what happened down on Kesprytt. Or to see the devices that the Prytt attached to the back of our neck into the brain stem." Deanna didn't answer, only shook her head as Beverly rose from the chair to pace as she continued. "From the comments they made, we assumed they were used to read our thoughts and/or emotions, so they could tell if we were telling the truth. It wasn't until a while later that we learned something else about them." As she said this she stopped her pacing and faced Deanna staring straight at her. She waited for Deanna to comment on the obvious.

Deanna decided to wait her out. She already had an idea what Beverly was suggesting, but wanted her to come out with it on her own. That was the only way that Beverly might come to understand and accept it herself. She continued to wait for several moments before Beverly finally gave in.

"You're not going to help with this are you?"

"How can I, I'm not a telepath, I'm only an empath," Deanna said with a slight smile.

"Very funny. You know where this is going," Beverly complained sitting back down and drawing her knees up to her chest. "Okay, I'll say it. At first, we discovered that we were able to read each other's random thoughts. Then as more time passed we were able to send thoughts and it seemed to take no effort at all. Is that how it really works?"

"Well, of course, it doesn't happen that fast. Even for Betazoids. As we grow up we have to learn how to use telepathy. Some of us even have to learn how to use empathy. Why are you so curious now?"

"One because I owe you an apology. And I want to know if there might be some residual effect this device had on us?"

"An apology for what?"

"For when you temporarily lost your empathic powers. I knew you were at a loss because for a while you couldn't sense any of us, but I didn't realize how much until we had removed the devices. In the short time we had them, I had begun to get used to having Jean-Luc there. Is that the right word?"

Deanna laughed at that, "I don't know if that's really the correct word, but it will do. And I'm sure you have more than one question."

"I do, but I don't know where to start. I didn't realize how complicated telepathy is."

"It's not really complicated." Deanna with a shake of her head. "It's just that most people don't realize that everyone has the ability, and don't want to learn how to use it."

"For what reason?"

"Mostly because people are afraid of the unknown. If they can't explain it, they want nothing to do with it. Second, with telepathy, you hold nothing back. Like I continuously tell my Mother, 'Humans think one thing and often say another.' It makes things very confusing."

Shaking her head Beverly asked, "How do you do it? How does any telepath?"

"With lots of practice, in special techniques. You learn to filter or block out all the thoughts around you. To concentrate on the moment or the person or persons you're with. Most are just," she hesitated a moment looking for the right word. Then continued, "I guess you would call it background noise. Those you're close too, are like you said, constantly there. For me, it's more emotions, since I'm more of an empath than a telepath. With a select few though it is telepathy, but I have to be very close to them. A strong emotional attachment."

"Like with you and Will?"

"Yes, like that. Or with my Mother."

"With you and Will, was it hard for the two of you to learn to communicate?"

Deanna didn't answer for a minute as she thought back over the first few encounters she had had with Will. "At first it was, his first attempt was very difficult for him, and though I never let him know it, he was right in what he said. Later it became easier for us to communicate, but I had to teach him how."

"What did he say to you that he was right about, that you will never let him know he was right?"

"He said I was afraid of him. And I was. He was the first non-Betazoid who's thoughts I was able to read. It frightened me because it was unusual and he was right when he said my head and my instincts were conflicting."

"I can see why you don't want him to know that. He could use that against you in the future."

With a secret smile, Deanna replied, "No, that's minor compared to something else I did to him. If he ever found out that I made up that therapy technique, he'd never let me live it down."

"Now that does sound interesting. Care to tell me about it?"

"I don't think so. Another time perhaps, when we know for sure that we won't be interrupted. Besides, we're here to talk about you and the Captain."

"But, I'm sure now that what you have to say would be much more interesting."

"Oh, I know it is, but it's more for 'a girl's night out' type of conversation, than what we are having today."

"All right, but I have a feeling that I am being cheated here. Okay, so how did this telepathy thing come to be between you and Will? And how do you handle it now?"

"At first it was a challenge. He challenged me to change him so that I would be more comfortable with what was happening between us. I didn't really think it would work because his interest was Starfleet and becoming Captain of a ship younger than James Kirk had. He had one relationship after another but always stopped short if it looked like it might lead to something more. I wanted that something more. Gradually he learned a little, but he always had to work at it. Though after our little therapy session he did understand more of what I was getting at. Then shortly after that, I was taken hostage by a group of Sindareen Raiders." She hesitated a moment and shivered, remembering Maror grabbing her, using her to shield his body as they crossed the rooftop of the museum.

"I've never seen anything in your records saying you were a hostage. When did this happen?"

"I hadn't joined Starfleet yet. I was attending the University on Betazed studying Psychology. Will was on Betazed until the Hood could pick him up. He was a Lieutenant at the time."

Deanna continued, "Betazed had come under the attack of the Sindareen. They were coming on planet, stealing artwork, and other valuables. Starfleet sent a group of Rangers to protect us. Will was to be in charge of Starfleet personnel and would be the one to report to the Ambassador assigned to Betazed."

"The first time he saw me was at my best friend's wedding, where he came as the representative for Starfleet. We didn't meet that night. He tracked me down a day or so later at the University and introduced himself."

Beverly halted her there for a minute. "You mean, the first time he ever saw you, you had nothing on?"

"It was a traditional Betazoid wedding and I was the Maid of Honor so to speak. So yes I was completely naked. But so was he."

"You're kidding right?" Beverly said, leaning closer to Deanna.

"Nope, he decided to undress just like all the other guests did."

Beverly just had to ask, "Did you notice him then?"

Deanna laughed, "Oh yes. His thoughts were, shall we say extremely flattering and embarrassing to him when he realized I had read them."

"And that's what frightened you to start with, right? You had easily picked up on a total stranger's thoughts about you. And to make matters worse, they were on the erotic side, I'd say."

Deanna nodded and smiled as she said, "Yes, quite erotic."

"What happened when you were taken hostage?"

"I knew the minute he arrived outside the building. The rush of adrenaline he felt caused him to send out his emotions. This happens to most humans. Then he was told that I was inside the building with my best friend and things started to conflict inside him. It got worse when the Sindareen leader came out on the roof holding me as a shield in front of him. He had already made the decision to try to take out the Raiders before they took off the roof of the building. He hoped to miss the hostage he was sure they would have. Then when he saw it was me his gut reaction conflicted with his Starfleet training."

"What did he do?" Beverly prompted her as she hesitated.

"He ordered the ship to be disabled not destroyed after I let him know that I understood the decision he had to make. The ship was hit and crashed in the jungle. Everyone died except Maror and myself. And he dragged me through the jungle until Will found us and rescued me."

"What did he do to Maror?"

"They fought. Will was trying to bring him back alive. On one of the attempts to elude Will, Maror ended up in a mud pit we have in the jungle. It is very much like the quicksand pits on Earth. He refused Will's help to rescue him and sank into it." Before going on Deanna stood and got herself some tea. Sitting back down, she stared into the cup before she continued.

"It took several days for us to meet up with the rest of the search party. It was during that time that we became close and a bond established. It's still there to this day. Always in the back of my mind. Very comforting. That's why I was so scared when I lost my empathic abilities. I felt very alone and isolated, without his presence. Or the presence of you and several others. It was like I had lost all of my family and was all alone."

"There have been times in the past when I have heard one or the other of you refer to each other as Imzadi. Does this relate to the bond you two have or is it some type of endearment?"

Deanna looked up at her. "It can mean Beloved or Dear One. But it does have a much deeper basic meaning. It means the first." Deanna waited for her meaning to sink in.

Beverly's eyes became quite round when she finally realized Deanna's meaning. "Oh, I see. So he was your first? But I don't …" she hesitated not sure how to finish.

Deanna laughed, "Yes, Will was the first for me, but I know I wasn't the first for him. That was very obvious."

"Oh. Well uhm, what exactly do you mean by first?"

"I was the first to touch his mind and body at the same time. In touching his mind it created a bond between us that we've had ever since. We don't always communicate with words. Oftentimes it's the emotions and needs we pick up on. For instance, remember Capulon IV? When Captain Picard, Mother Veronica, and I were held prisoner?"

"I remember that. I never did know how you were located."

"I reached out to Will. I couldn't tell him exactly where we were, because I didn't know myself. All I did was concentrate on touching his mind with mine. Letting him know I needed him, needed his help. I did reach him. That and the fact that there had been no contact with the party for some time, helped him realize something was wrong. He used the connection like a rope and followed it to us. He also eventually had a little help from the woman who had married the Prince."

"Have you done that often?"

"On an occasion or two. And I've used it to help Will also. No matter what happens between us, this bond will always be there. It will be a big adjustment when it is severed."

"What about Jean-Luc and I?' Do you think we'll retain any of this?"

"I don't know. Only time will tell. You've both experienced it. You both know you can do this if you want to. If you become closer, it might very well happen and bring you that much closer. The main thing though is, is it something you want to happen. It's a big adjustment to be that close to someone. It has its drawbacks as well as advantages."

Beverly sat quietly for a few minutes thinking. "I don't know. But if it does happen, I'm sure you will be the first to know. Because I'm going to need help with it and you're the only person I know who could help me with it."

"Oh, I can think of at least one other person that would be willing to help you learn to use your new abilities. Especially if they are directed at the Captain." At Beverly's puzzled look, Deanna went on to explain, "My Mother would be more than willing to come on board and help you learn all about this."

A look of shock came across Beverly's face. "Uh, no that's okay I think you and I can manage just fine. Thanks all the same." Grabbing her smock from the back of the chair she headed for the door. "Thanks for the information and the talk. We most definitely have to finish some of this sometime soon. Now I have to get back to work and write my reports about Kesprytt before I meet Jean-Luc for dinner."

"Okay, I'll see you later," Deanna said with a laugh, wondering how Will was fairing with the Captain. Could he answer the Captain's question about a connection like they shared?

As they entered the Ready Room the Captain did not move behind his desk as usual. Instead, he sat down on one end of the couch and motioned for Will to take a seat as well. Will spun the chair around in front of the desk and sat there. He waited for the Captain to speak.

"Will, I have a few questions and I feel you are the only one who might be able to help me. I had a very unusual experience on Kesprytt."

Will nodded, "I'll do what I can Captain. What is it?"

"Yesterday, I am sure you noticed the device on the back of my neck."

"Yes sir, I did."

"It was a probe of some kind that the Prytt had placed there. On both Beverly and I. They said it would allow them to know whether we were telling the truth or not. After we escaped our prison we learned that it could do more than that." The Captain hesitated for a moment.

"Is there some kind of problem because they were removed?" Will asked concerned. The Kess and the Prytt had already tested his patience.

"No, there was no problem with that. The Prytt let us know how to remove them once we were in Sickbay." He hesitated again and then continued. "Will I need to ask you some personal questions so that I can better understand what happened to Beverly and I"

"Okay, I'll answer the best I can."

"I've always been aware of the bond that you and Deanna share. That's what I want to ask you about. Through the device, Beverly and I shared what I believe was a similar link. I know the longer the device was there, the easier it was for me to read her thoughts. I could also sense her feelings. At first, it was random, then later it was more definite. The only problem was that we could not get any further than a few feet apart. Otherwise, we would experience extreme pain and nausea. Though it took some getting used to, I realized this morning that I miss it somewhat. Having that connection somehow brought us closer. Whether good or bad I haven't yet decided. Things were revealed between us, that I'm not sure either of us is ready for. What I want to know is, if now that we've been through this, will it always be there and get stronger as time goes by. Or will it go away? If it doesn't, how do you learn to handle it or to use it? How do you and Deanna manage? At times I've noticed things between the two of you and wondered, did it just happen or did they put some effort into it? I know on Capulon VI Deanna volunteered to try and reach you. I know she was unsure if she would be able to and ask Mother Veronica to help her. I didn't understand why at the time she wanted help. I assumed it was because of the distance, but I wasn't sure. I want to understand more about this, will you tell me about you and Deanna? How you established this bond? How you learned to communicate with her? I know she has some telepathic abilities, but is that all there is? Does her empathy help? Tell me anything you think might be helpful." Having said everything he could think he wanted to know about, the Captain became quiet, waiting for Will to respond.