Glynda had been keeping her eye on Ozpin's calendar for some time now, and not because she was attracted to the busty barmaid pictured on it. No, the joy of knowing that soon the month would flip over and her imprisonment within this reeking van would end made her as giddy as a schoolgirl finding out her crush liked her back. And with this day coming to an end, the sun just now dipping beneath the trees, her time of revenge was approaching even sooner.
She had been narrowing down the ways she would punish Ozpin and Branwen, sorting the options by which ones were more painful and which were more humiliating. She was leaning towards a public shaming, perhaps tying the men up in the courtyard at Beacon and distributing tomatoes to students for a rousing game of 'Paint the Dumbasses Red'. That one sounded quite lovely. Only 48 long, painstaking hours to go…
"Finally done watching that show, Oz?" Qrow's raspy voice broke Glynda's peace of mind. Yawning, she laid her head back in her seat as Branwen stepped around her to see what Ozpin was doing on his computer.
"Unfortunately, the site hosting my stories was taken down," the Headmaster said, his eyes focused on the screen, "Apparently it is illegal for them to also post live streams of rooster fights for anyone to watch. I must say, those were quite entertaining. Did you know some roosters have teeth?"
"Do I look like a bird geek?" Qrow said, "So what're you doing now? One of those stupid social media slot games?"
"Actually, it is a bit higher end than that, my dear Mr. Branwen. This is legitimate online gambling."
Both sensing a reason to worry, Glynda and Qrow shared a concerned look. "Where did you get the funds to play that, exactly?"
"The donation funds, of course."
"What?!" Qrow and Glynda shouted in unison. The Headmaster raised his palms to them, ushering them to calm down.
"Please, you two. I am an expert at the art of gambling. I am merely trying to increase the total prize amount for our participants. They have done so well this past month in coming to terms with one another, and what better way to show them my appreciation than to present to them double the initial reward?"
"Couldn't we have just siphoned from Jimmy's account again?" Qrow suggested, Glynda snorting in disgust at his immorality.
"Oh, I did at first. Then I ran into an unfortunate server incident, and all player's accounts were hacked and wiped clean. His wallet is just as barren as our own now."
Glynda couldn't believe how far Ozpin had fallen. "I hope he breaks your arms. Both of you two's arms, just to clarify. And maybe your legs too, as an added measure so you'll have to crawl to the emergency room."
"Aw, we love you too," Qrow snapped sarcastically, turning his attention to Ozpin, "You better know what yer doin' here, Oz. You know how gambling can get."
"I can assure you that I will not succumb to greed. The last thing I want to do is commit a sin."
Oh the irony, Glynda thought. Exhausted, she tilted her head to the side to try and fall asleep. She looked at the camera feed monitors, watching as Zwei and the strange miniature Goliath scurried between the rows of seats in the theater. At first she was worried about the presence of such a potentially threatening beast in the vicinity of her students, but then again they had just spent a whole month with murderers and criminals. They could survive sharing space with a surprisingly adorable spawn of evil.
Her gaze shifted to another feed, with a group of housemates crowded in the lounge playing that dance game popular with young folks some years ago. She started picking out the faces: happy as always Velvet, Neopolitan, Sun Wukong, Mercury Black, Pyrrha Nikos, Lie Ren, Nora Valkyrie… Jaune Arc was quite the dancer, apparently. The boy had some 'mad skills', as the children called them. And when Glynda saw the big-time criminal Roman Torchwick step up to the mat to try and beat his score, she would be lying if she said her heart didn't warm just a bit. Allies and enemies smiling together, laughing and having a grand time…
Maybe this whole idea of Ozpin's wasn't such a bad thing after all.
With her focus on the happiness contained within one screen, she barely noticed the impending altercation arriving in another. Glynda smacked her hand on the wall to catch Ozpin and Qrow's attention, pointing at the problem.
"Why is there a taxi going up the driveway?"
"Say what now?" Qrow followed Goodwitch's finger, eyes widening at the vehicle. "Ah, shit. That ain't good. Who the hell could that be?"
"Whoever it is," Ozpin said, attention not leaving his game, "Will bring her Salem victory if they set foot on that porch. I think you know what to do, Mr. Branwen."
"You want me to mug them?"
"I want you to mug them."
"…Give me five minutes."
Any praise Glynda had given Ozpin moments ago just shriveled up and died on the spot.
"Thanks for the ride!" Taiyang flipped a coin to the taxi driver before looking at the large penthouse about 100 meters before him. Smiling at the thought of seeing his girls again, he strolled forward with a kick in his step. He had a bag of gifts slung over his back for Ruby, ranging from homemade cookies (of Summer's recipe, rest her soul) to ammunition for Crescent Rose. Taiyang couldn't wait to see the look on her face this Friday when she opened them-
"Ooof!"
Taiyang's bundle of presents flew into the yard as he was tackled to the ground by a figure dressed in dark clothing. Ready to fight his way out, Tai reached up and grabbed them by the neck. When his assailant started to tap out, he loosened his grip but reversed that decision when he saw their face.
"Qrow! What the hell are you doing?!"
"Should be… asking you that…"
Letting go of his brother in-law, Taiyang let Branwen regain air into his lungs. "You know why I'm here. I'm not missing my baby girl's birthday for anything. I had to call up a ferry boat so I could leave Patch to even get here! And getting hold of a taxi wasn't too easy either!"
"I appreciate your dedication," Qrow said, grabbing Taiyang's empty bag as the blonde man started gathering his wrapped gifts together, "But I can't let you go in that house. If you do, then Salem wins the bet. No visitors are allowed anymore."
"Well, tough shit Qrow. I'm not missing Ruby's 16th birthday for anything."
"Guess it'll be the hard way then."
"And what's that supposed to- MPH!"
Taiyang started swinging his arms, attempting to hit Qrow as his bag was thrown over his head. Branwen started dragging him towards the woods, and struggled against his in-law's greater physical strength. It was a good thing Ozpin packed a certain chemical with him for a scenario like this.
"Yo Tai!" Qrow reached into his pocket, pulling out a soaked white cloth, "Tell me if this smells like chloroform, will ya?"
"That did not take long," Ozpin said to Qrow as he entered the van with an unconscious Taiyang in tow.
"Good thing his Semblance was suppressed by the barrier, or things would've gotten bad," Branwen leaned Xiao Long against the wall. He went over to a cardboard box in search of something to tie him up with. Of course, Glynda was extremely appalled by the criminal action.
"You two are going to Hell, you know that?"
Qrow took a couple zip ties over to Tai's body, wrapping his wrists behind his back. "Ah, relax. It's only for a few days. Once he sees how much lien Ruby and Yang bring home, he'll forget all about trying to rip my spine out through my nostrils."
"Funny that you mention the prize…"
Looks of horror from Glynda and Qrow followed Ozpin's statement, the Headmaster sliding slowly out of his seat and calmly pushing his laptop shut. He smiled at the two, in hopes a cheery attitude may calm the rage soon to be rained down upon him.
"If you say what I think yer gonna say," Qrow said slowly, emphasizing each word for effect, "Then you better start prayin' Oz."
"You see, this kind fellow just challenged me to a game of digital cards, promising me that he could pay triple my entire funds if I could best him. And it so happens that I thought he meant a round of Go-Fish and not blackjack, which I have not in the slightest clue how to play…"
"…You lost everything. EVERYTHING?!"
"Don't worry, Glynda. We still have our health, and the knowing that our participants have made new friends for life. I'm sure they will be happy with only that as a reward. I cannot say the same for James, however."
Her levels of anger at their highest yet, Glynda looked to Branwen. "If you can hurt him as much as possible right now, I will forgive you for everything you've done here."
"I was gonna hurt him either way, Glynda."
"Please Qrow, whatever you do… Don't break my glasses."
"They're going right up your ass, Oz."
"…Oh dear."