The only reason Ren had requested 'Penny's' assistance in the kitchen was for observational purposes; if he had known just how much of a hassle 'she' would cause him he would've taken everything back.
"No, Penny. That is cheddar cheese, not icing."
"Blast!" Virulet snarled, throwing the dairy product to the floor. Ren watched the cheese wheel bounce and roll out of the kitchen with pain in his eyes. "There was a reason I suggested to watch over my dear friend Ruby! I know not the slightest thing about human consumption!"
"…I have noticed that," Ren winced, "Could you finish setting the table then?"
"…Set the table?"
This was the equivalent of teaching a fish to fly. Ren grabbed a handful of silverware from a drawer and handed them to Virulet. "Take one of each of these and put them by the plates on the table. It is fairly simple."
"Are you belittling me, boy?"
"Please, just set the table. Dinner is almost finished cooking. It is almost 5:00, and everyone's expecting a nice meal on the table after a hard day's work."
Viurlet stared at the steak knives in his grasp, wishing he could drive one of them into this boy's neck right now. But the heating stove behind Ren made him not want to take any more steps in his direction, so he'd have to hold back his rage. "Very well, then."
The moment 'Penny' left the kitchen, Ren sighed. His fears had been realized; this was not the same bubbly Penny that had shown up out of the blue. Something was very, very wrong here.
"OKAY, REN! START TALKING!"
Ren nearly leaped out of his skin at the sudden shouting in his ear. He clutched his chest as Nora looked upon him judgmentally. "You scared me half to death there, Nora!"
"Good! Because you've got some explaining to do!"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh-ho, you know! That other ditzy redhead girl you're trying to replace me with!"
"…Penny? You think I'm trying to replace you with Penny?"
"Okay, maybe it's not that drastic! But why would you want her help instead of mine! I'm your bestest-bestest-BESTEST friend ever! I can do anything she could do!"
"Nora, just calm down. You're overreacting again."
"Okay, okay, okay…" Nora took a deep breath, slapping herself on the face. "I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm calm… Alright. Then what is it? Why not just ask for my help?"
"Because there's something wrong with her."
Nora coked her head in confusion. "Say what now?"
"Haven't you noticed her acting strange lately?"
"Like more than usual, or…?"
"Yes, in fact. The strange laughter, the way she talks, her secrecy and moving into the basement. She's not the same as when she first got here. I don't remember when exactly her personality went off, but I can recall feeling that something just wasn't right for a while now."
"…But why are you worried so much about her?"
"Nora," Ren groaned, shaking his head as he took hold of her wrists. She squeed briefly at his gentle touch, trying to contain her giddiness. "If this turns out to be something bad, then I want to take any measures I can to keep you and everyone else safe from harm. You mean the world to me, Nora. If you got hurt and I could have done something to prevent it, I would feel sickened for letting that happen."
"…Boop me, Ren."
"Come again?" Ren asked as Nora pulled her hands from his and held one between their faces.
"Boop me," she smiled, wiggling her fingers, "One at a time, five times. Like this…" She lifted his arm up, touching the tips of their thumbs together. "Boop."
"Okay," Ren nodded, matching their index fingers. "Boop."
"Boop," Nora said softly as their middle fingers met. She inched herself closer as they paused between the boop.
"Boop…" Ren said just as quietly. All he could see of Nora was the blue of her eyes between the cracks of their fingers. The lack of vision made him draw his face just a bit closer to their hands, and she apparently thought the same.
"Boop."
With all their digits touching, Nora locked them together in a light grasp. The two lowered their interlocked hands slowly, their faces still inching closer to each other.
And there was nothing to stop them.
Ren used his free hand to help ease Nora into his space as their lips touched softly, the spritely girl lifting one foot off the ground like a ballerina. Nora had daydreamed about this moment for literally ever, but this was better than she could have ever believed it would be. Ren wasn't used to being this spontaneous, but he'd be wrong in saying he hadn't been secretly hoping for it to happen soon. This zany girl made him want to wake up every day since she made his life so much more exciting than it would be. There was no other way he could show how much he admired her than by doing this.
Not everyone felt the same way though.
"Disgusting…" Virulet groaned, peeking through the kitchen door as to not be noticed. He decided to leave the pair be. It would be so much more satisfying to kill them together now. Virulet was always up for cutting a budding romance short.
He walked over to window, peering out at the lawn as something caught his eye. A figure was walking over to the shed. Emerald Sustrai, the last of the Latent 4. While she did not pose a physical threat to him as Nikos's polarity or Cinder's firepower did, even an A.I like him could fall victim to her illusionary Semblance if given the chance. Being kept out of reality for even a brief moment could spell doom to anyone. Just like Ruby Rose, they would have to be taken care of first.
And Virulet was going to savor every moment of it.
"One more time," Cinder breathed, taking a long drink of water. She had just finished practicing her song for what seemed like the 100th time; she had lost count hours ago. She was not going to stop until she felt she had it down perfectly. She opened her mouth to sing just as there was a knock on the shed door. There was only one person it could be.
"How's it going?" Emerald stepped inside, brushing a cobweb from her path. She cleared off an old stool and sat down, looking at Cinder intently.
"I think I have it down well," Cinder held up her lyric sheet between two fingers, "I don't even need the words anymore."
"What song is it, anyways?"
She handed over the paper to Emerald for her to read. "Brother, My Brother. It's an older one, from the Chinpocketmon movie or something like that. Roman of all people suggested it to Weiss. Never expected him to have that kind of taste in music, let alone movies. The lyrics are quite cliche, but I feel they suit our situation quite well."
"You can say that again," Em smirked, fiddling with the sheet as she read it over, "Care to give me a preview?"
Cinder hesitated, shaking her head. "I think I will keep this one a surprise until tomorrow night. All I ask is that you be there with me before I go onstage."
"Still getting the butterflies?"
"You try standing in front of people that were your enemies a month ago and pour your soul out to them," Cinder smirked, walking to Emerald and putting her forehead on hers, "It's quite different than doing it alone in a shed or with just one other person."
"You'll do great, Cinder. I'll be right up front for it when you go up there and sing. I promise."
The two gave each other a quick peck on the lips to ensure that promise.
"So how are things going inside?"
"Finished wrapping the presents a while ago," Em replied, "We went down to the theater to help Yang take out the rest of the seats."
"…They took out the seats?"
"Yeah, I know it's extreme. Yang wanted a dance floor, so we just had to make one."
"All just to make Ruby happy," Cinder sighed, rolling her eyes, "That girl deserves it, though. For all that she did for me, I wouldn't ask of anything less for her."
"I'm just as grateful as you are," Emerald slid off the stool, feeling her stomach rumbling, "But my stomach will be even more grateful once I fill it."
"I'll be in shortly. Just going to sing the song once more."
Cinder watched Em leave, then looked up to the ceiling. Of all the ways her life could have gone, it had steered itself in the right direction thanks to this house she once considered a literal Hell. That Ozpin was a mad genius; emphasis on mad. No matter how much resent she held towards the shady Headmaster, if not for him she wouldn't be as happy as she was now.
And then there was Ruby. That girl had literally pulled her from the pit of despair. Cinder owed her so much, and she was going to make sure her birthday gift would express that gratitude to its fullest.
Nora could hear Ruby's stomach growling from behind her locked door when she went upstairs to release her. The little rose had never ran so fast down a hallway just for a meal. Zwei, Mr. Tibbs and Weiss were in tow as well, the latter feeling just enough better to walk on her own to the dining room unassisted. The dinner table was full as always, everyone filling their plates with Ren's delicious cooking. The chef sat at the head of the table with Nora much closer than usual; when she blurted out the big news of their moment there was quite a bit of cheering from their closer friends, most notably Jaune and Pyrrha. As everyone ate, the conversations focused on those who were still single.
"How about a boyfriend for your birthday, Ruby?" Sun asked jokingly, "My boy Neptune is single!"
"I'll pass!" Ruby laughed nervously, declining the offer.
"He is most – cough! – definitely not Ruby's type!"
"Oh, is that jealousy I hear, Weiss?"
"N-no it is not, Yang!"
Roman laughed loudly, Neo smirking beside him. "Look who's talking! I don't see you with anyone at your side."
"If I wanted a partner, I could get one easily. I just don't need one right now."
"Starting to sound like the 5-Star Man over here," Blake smirked, pointing to Mercury, "Or, at least how he sounded when he didn't actually have a girl like him back."
"Watch it, Belladonna," Mercury cautioned.
"I think you and Velvet are cute together!" Pyrrha smiled cheerfully, making Scarlatina blush and Black feel strange inside.
"Oh, stop it!" Velvet giggled, waving her hand at her.
"Please spare me from this sickening happiness…" Virulet mumbled quietly, growing weary from the overwhelming joy around him.
"If I were you Velvet," the Lieutenant followed, 'I'd take him to a nice drapery store. Interior decorating shopping always gets the feels going. Isn't that right, boss?"
"Please stop being weird," Adam groaned, "Miltia will be struck by your odd obsession with curtains when she meets you."
"Miltia was the one in white, right?" Jaune looked to Ren for clarification.
"I'm not quite sure. I only waited on them for a total of one whole minute."
"Imagine if I had a sister Ren!" Nora said, imagination going wild, "Ooh! We'd be the Thunder Gun Express!"
"What does that name even mean?" Emerald asked Cinder.
"Beats me," she answered as Zwei hopped up onto her lap.
"BARK!"
"PWHAANK!" Mr. Tibbs followed, adding his own interpretation to the phrase.
"What they said."
The table was filled with laughter from both sides, echoing in the large dining room. It lasted for quite a while, slowly dying out into a strange silence in which everyone just stared at their plates. The reality had just hit them:
This was their last big meal together.
It was hard for them to believe, but the goal Ozpin had set out for them to achieve had been fulfilled. Even after the many bumps in the road, through thick and thin, they had slowly become what one might call a very strange, but happy, family.
Everyone wanted to think of some way to break the sober mood, but none could think of anything eloquent or particularly wise to say.
So the one who spoke the least said it briefly.
"…I'll miss you guys..."
All but one of them had never heard Neo speak before, and those honest words coming from the mouth of a criminal struck a few like an emotional truck. The Lieutenant was trying his best not to burst into a dramatic crying session, and even Mercury had the smallest of smiles on his lips. Jaune and Pyrrha held each other's hands tightly, while Blake laid her head on Sun's shoulder. Yang was hit the hardest, bursting out of her seat and opened her arms wide.
"Come here, you little ice cream cone!"
The two rivals in video games embraced like old friends would after a decade year old reunion. Ruby ran over to join her sister and make it a group hug, Nora not wanting to be left out of the fun. Not even the Lieutenant barging in with the strongest hug of all could knock them over.
Roman tipped his hat over his eyes as he lit a cigar. "I'd say something witty and sarcastic right now if I could, but I'm gonna be honest: You people are some of the strangest, extreme, passionate, and most caring bunch I've ever met. And goddamn do I like being able to say that I consider you all my friends."
"I may not have been here as long as the rest of you," Velvet said, "But I'm not going to ever forget this experience." She looked over everyone, especially those who weren't from Beacon, and ended on Mercury. "And I won't forget any of you."
A sly little rabbit, Merc thought. She just had to make things harder for him, didn't she? "…Yeah, sure. Ditto."
"So I guess this is what they call a fairy tale ending?" Cinder smiled, holding Emerald's hand under the table.
"Oh, not just yet," Virulet spoke up; he wasn't going to let this joy end on anything but an ominous metaphor, "We still have the grand finale to go. The best part is yet to come."
"They're all asleep now," Qrow yawned, leaning back in his seat. He bent over to look at Glynda, who must have dozed off just recently. He was the only one awake now; Taiyang had been struggling all day to break free of his bindings, and gave up hours ago from exhaustion. Qrow was starting to think he may have hit Ozpin a bit too hard last night; the Headmaster had been fading in and out after the punishment he received for emptying the donation account.
Did Qrow feel bad for that? Yeah, just a little bit.
Ozpin was a dumbass, sure. He robbed stores, stole money from an elite asshole general, and was afraid of a wild squirrel for fuck's sake. Just by watching that camera of the dining room earlier, with all of the housemates together and joyous, Qrow could see the method behind Oz's madness.
Qrow tilted his head to look at the digital clock behind Glynda as 11:59 shifted over to 12:00. Finally… the end was in-
"Hello there."
Qrow's eyes widened as he looked up at the screen, coming face to face with the adversary Ozpin had been fighting with for so long.
"So… you're Salem, eh? Uglier than I imagined ya to be."
"Funny," the witch said, clearly not interested, "Where is Ozpin? I'd like to speak with him as the final day begins."
"Not available. I'm the best you'll get for now."
"…Very well," Salem sighed, settling with the drunk, "Then I want you to give him a message. I want you to ask him what victory tastes like when he wakes up. And then, while you're both breathing your last breaths, I want you to ask him what it feels like to have victory stolen from you at the last second." Salem could barely believe it when Qrow started snickering at her.
"Oh, yeah sure. Keep telling yourself that you won this. Because, even by the rules of the bet that you do, if I walk in that house and break that new restriction you tacked on, those people in that house will still be one big damn happy family. And last time I checked, that means Oz won."
"There is more than one kind of victory, human. I will show you that tomorrow."
"Then how about we have a bet of our own? If you prove me wrong, then I'll bend around and literally kiss my own ass. And if you fail… well then, that should just be enough embarrassment on its own, don't you think?"
"You truly are a despicable human…" Salem said, ending the transmission just as he got the last word in.
"No. I'm just Qrow-fucking-Branwen, bitch."