"You can't be serious, Lils? Snivellus?" Part of her wanted to laugh and point towards James' dorm with a 'nah he's Sirius', she also wanted to groan and hit her boyfriend upside the head. She settled somewhere in the middle, her eyes unyielding, arms crossed across her chest.
"Firstly, his name is Severus," God she had always hated that nickname. Just because she and Sev had fallen out for a time it didn't mean she liked to hear the hate against him, "Secondly, he's my best friend. Yeah, we had a tiff, a long one, but we've made up." James still was giving her a funny look.
"Lils, Lily he called you a Mudblood." She grimaced hearing it. Did James honestly think forgiven meant forgotten?
"I know but it was months ago. Remus has already started to forgive Sirius for that disgusting trick he pulled with the Whomping Willow. You can't hold this against me." And he couldn't. James was her boyfriend not her father nor her keeper, "I'm not asking you to become bosom buddies. I'm asking you to just grow up for once, if not for him then for me?" She pulled out her very best puppy dog eyes, the one's that always had James bowing to her desires. She watched as his eyes softened, his arms coming to wrap around her, his chin resting on the crown of her head.
"Okay, I'll behave. Don't expect your charms to work on Sirius though." Despite herself she snorted. God, part of her still hated Sirius for what he had pulled, maybe it was because of the lack of consequences he had received in response. He had nearly got one student killed, made Remus into an unwitting murderer, and all Dumbledore had given him was a slap on the wrist.
"I don't want my charms to work on anyone but you." She dipped her head up, meeting his lips in a soft kiss. Somewhere over the summer he had grown up, not completely, certainly not, but something in her 16-year-old self saw something she liked in the man who had bugged her all those years. Of course, he still drove her mad on a regular basis with his god-forsaken pranks. At least this year most of the pranks were actual pranks and less of the underhanded bullying of previous years.
"Why did you forgive me?" He was genuinely curious, it had been months, summer had come and gone since that day he had spit poison, she had not forgiven him. The new term had come, and inexplicably she had found happiness with Potter, a wound that still stung. He had apologised over and over, but she had not listened. Until last week, two weeks after the incident where Black had tried to get him killed. Her eyes were just as green as ever as she turned to give him her answer.
"It was Sirius," Her forgiveness had to do with Black? "If James hadn't turned up when he did the likelihood is that Remus would have killed you. I came stupidly close to losing you, and I realised that I had maybe been a little petty over the whole thing. You're my best friend Sev, and I shouldn't have held the situation over your head for so long." Severus let out a derisive snort.
"Oh well, maybe I should thank Black for his service, then." She swiped at his arm, but despite the disapproval she tried to portray that laughter he had missed over the long weeks of summer washed over him. Maybe it was the time away, but in that moment, he realised that while he loved this girl with all his heart, he was not in love with her. Her coupling with Potter hurts because of their past, not because of his own desires for her. His gaze must have changed with his revelation though, for her next words were a tentative query.
"What are you thinking?" He blinked once, taking in her face laced with concern. It had been too long since she had looked at him with anything but contempt.
"A lot of the times that Black and Potter would tease me they would bring up you, try and get a raise out of me by claiming you would never return my 'affections.' And yet they're wrong, we're still best friends despite it all, and despite what they think that's as far as my feelings go." The grass near the lake tickled her forearms as she leant back.
"You were thinking so distinctly about the fact you're not in love with me?" He could hear the incredulity in her tone, then again when he heard it put like that.
"The realisation came as more as a surprise to me than I was expecting." He couldn't wait until he got out of this weird, awkward teenage faze, there was entirely too many emotions. Lily did not seem surprised though, her head tipping back in a light laugh.
"I'm sure you'll figure out why soon enough, Sev." There was a knowing look in her eye, as if she knew something about him that he did not know about himself. It was a feeling that left him feeling distinctly uncomfortable, but he didn't believe whatever knowledge she had would do him any harm, she was too good for that.
"For fuck's sake, Sirius are you even listening to yourself." Remus had to fight down a blush as his other three friends turned to him at his outburst. There would have been a time that he would have felt his heart clench at the hurt look he was receiving from Sirius. That was before the incident, though. Since then he found his sympathy, even his affection, for Sirius slowly declining.
"James is so pussy whipped he wants us to be friends with Snivellus, surely you can see the problem here, Remy." Remus was surprised by the coldness of his own voice when he replied.
"Yes, I see the problem. It's you." He let the bite go, he was just tired, "He's not suggesting friendship, he's suggesting a truce. We don't 'prank' him, though I'm no longer sure you know what constitutes a prank anymore, we don't insult him. Just indifference." Sirius still looked as pig-headed as before. Sometimes talking to Sirius was like talking to a brick wall.
"You're not going to let that bloody thing go, are you?" Remus considered himself a fairly calm person, he was the level-headed one in his group, and yet red blurred behind his eyes at the question. He was aware of James and Peter taking a step back, wary of the situation. Before he was even thinking about it, Remus had Sirius pinned to the wall by his throat.
"You don't even see what you've done wrong do you. It's just a prank to you. If James hadn't stepped in, Snape would be dead, I would be dead. I would have been outed and they would have had my head. Do you never think? For all you want to distance yourself from your family, you can be just as cruel sometimes?" There was a million other words he wanted to say, try and get it through the thick skull but the last words had been harsh enough. And yet the one's he really wanted to say were the one's he couldn't right now. That he had loved Sirius and that the betrayal hurt to the very depths of the soul, and now it hurt every time he looked at Sirius. Looked at that grin that had melted his heart, as if he didn't have a care in the world.
He pushed away from the man; eyes still wild. A hand swept through his hair as he turned to James and Peter.
"I'm sorry. I'm going for a walk; I need away from him." Who him referred to was very obvious. James put a comforting hand on his shoulder as he walked past, he was hard pressed not to shrug it off, but he knew this wasn't James' doing.
He walked around the grounds, letting the brisk Autumn Scottish chill clear his mind. Except it wasn't clearing his mind, all he could think of was Sirius. Hopes and hurt the man had caused. He rested his forehead against the rough bark of a nearby tree, the rough feeling distracting him to a degree. And then, he was punching that same tree, knuckles digging into the unforgiving surface, his own blood dripping into the cracks in the bark. It hurt, but it felt like therapy at the same time. Sometimes he imagined it was Sirius' face, wondered if his friend would still be so arrogant if his face was no longer as pretty.
"Remus!?" The shout seemed miles off in his distracted state of mind, his breathing heavy, focus completely on the ill-equipped punching bag before him, "Remus, stop, please." And then soft hands were on his arms, trying to still his frantic movements. He dreaded to think what Lily saw in his face when he turned to her, finally computing who just was with him.
"Sirius?" It had taken her one look at his face. He wondered what had given it away, maybe she just couldn't think of anyone else who would be able to rile him up to near madness. Neither could he. He nodded a single jerky nod, "Do you want to talk about it?" Her hands were gentle on his arm, her voice calming. He was glad James had finally grown up enough that Lily could be a good influence on him.
"I can believe, though not condone, his mind process that led to him wanting to hurt Snape, but I just can't get over how he used me, that he risked putting me in danger. I thought the Marauders, I thought I, meant more to him." He tried to keep the crack out of his voice. He wasn't sure he was that successful because seconds later her arms were around him, an 'oh Remus', whispered in his ear. He was sure she wanted to help, but it just made him want to cry more. He wasn't sure he'd be able to speak around the lump that had formed in his throat.
"You should get those knuckles healed." Remus blinked at the deeper voice, in all this time he had yet to notice that Snape had been with Lily. He had also yet to properly feel that pain. Blood wanted to both rush to and from his face from the mix of embarrassment and quick loss of adrenaline. Lily gasped at the comment, stepping out of the embrace and taking his mangled hands into her own, examining the damage there. Snape stepped up beside Lily, also assessing the damage, "We can fix you up between me and Lily if you would rather avoid the hospital wing."
Remus looked at his nemesis with surprise, but he could tell nothing in his unyielding onyx gaze, he may well as have been trying to read the intentions of a statue than of a human.
Severus wasn't sure what inspired him to offer. Not after their past, maybe it was Lily, maybe it was the look of lost betrayal in the man's eyes. Either way he could not see any harm in the offer. He didn't particularly appreciate the assessing look he received but given their history he could understand its necessity. Finally, though Lupin nodded, settling down in the grass, his back against the tree.
"Thank you." They hadn't done anything yet, and already the wolf was thanking him. Sometimes Severus wished he didn't know that Lupin was a werewolf, the sight of his bones starting to distort, fleeting as it had been, haunted him.
They worked in near silence, Lily uttering the initial charm before Severus pulled out a balm from his robe pockets.
"Do you carry, those on you often?" Though there was no malice in Lupin's question he glared on impulse. While he had promised he'd try, if only for Lily's sake, old habits would die hard. Lupin ducked his gaze away.
"I've had need to in the past." He settled on in the end. Let the wolf come to his own conclusions.
"I'm sorry. We've been pricks to you in the past." That wasn't the response he had been expecting. He thought the Marauders beyond apology, wasn't sure they even saw what was wrong with their actions half the time. While the Marauder's had certainly been cause enough in the past, they weren't the reason he kept it on him at all times. He nodded at the wolf, his fingers massaging the balm into Lupin's calloused hands.
"Maybe there will be less use for it in the future." Lupin gave a small, barely there smile. Seconds later, it tightened.
"Be careful of Sirius, he'll see the rest of us calling a truce as an excuse to go extra hard." He could see the sincerity in Lupin's voice, but he couldn't hold back the snort.
"Extra hard? What exactly can Black do that's worse than tricking me into a Werewolf's safe space." He thought Lupin would take offense, but rather he snorted a little too, a little of the colour returning to his face.
"Sirius is nothing if not creative." Severus rose an eyebrow, yes, he had been on the receiving end of that creativity before.
"I'll keep an eye out." He always did anyway. Who knew what enemy was around the corner?
"I think if you rub that in any more it'll penetrate bone." Severus didn't think he'd been administering the treatment for that long, Lily seemed to disagree though. She was looking at him with that same knowing look that she had held earlier. He still didn't know what it meant. Though a blood rush certainly complemented Lupin. He gave the knuckles one final glance over, before letting them go with a nod.
"Try not to fight any more trees, I only own so much balm." His voice was as dry as ever, and yet his two companions let out small laughs before Lupin let the laughter go to give a seemingly sincere thank you.
He wasn't as opposed as he expected to have Lupin walking back to the castle with him and Lily, he was mostly a silent companion mind you.
"Remus." His voice was a whisper in the dark room. It had been light when Remus had left and now curfew was looming heavy over their heads. Remus did not reply to him though, he walked with a single mindedness towards the bathroom after grabbing his pyjamas. He was as quick as ever in there, before slipping into bed. There was a singular moment between him getting into bed and closing the curtains where Sirius let out a final plea, "Remus, please." But it went unheard.
Sirius had never slept so fitfully. Remus had been angry at him hundreds of times in the past. Time and time again, he had snapped and shouted, but then Sirius would grin and explain himself away and Remus would forgive him. Still give him those disapproving looks of course, but forgive him nonetheless, that's just how they worked. Never before had he outright ignored him though, they talked things out. And still Remus' last words before the silence remained with him, part of his mind, that defiant angry part that couldn't see what was so wrong with the prank, thought Remus was just trying to hurt him. Another part though, the part that remembered his upbringing at his mother's hands, worried that despite his physical distance that breeding had run true.
The whole conversation ran through his head, Remus talking about the overarching consequences of his plan. He hadn't considered anyone's death anywhere in the plan, but Remus had been right, if Snape had been in the Willow post transformation, rather than during, there would likely be no more Snape. That wasn't necessarily a problem to him, though maybe he'd prefer Snape gone in a less bloody way. But he hadn't considered what would happen to Remus, but now he did he realised it wasn't even his likely death but the guilt he'd experience as a result that would most bother Remus. Maybe Remus was right, he had been a shoddy friend, he'd nearly got two boys killed in the name of a prank.
When dawn broke, he slipped out of bed, he was always the first one up, old habits from trying to avoid his mother never quite dying. He'd never looked quite so haggard; despite his mother's harsh treatment he had lived the cushy life of a Pureblood. But guilt was a fickle beast and tore bags into his eyes and stole the smile right from his face.
Feeling as if he was going to an execution, he made his way to Dumbledore's office in the cold morning air. He spoke the password quietly, talking loudly in this cavernous castle felt wrong somehow. His quiet was in vain though as the great gargoyle screeched as it twisted up into a staircase, the sound of stone on stone harsh in the quiet.
He was surprised Dumbledore was up this early, yet the door opened letting him into the office.
"Mr Black, it's a little early for any trouble is it not?" There was a mixture of concern and amusement on his weathered face, that infamous twinkle in his eye as he gazed at Sirius.
"Why didn't you punish me properly?" Maybe he would have understood the severity sooner if someone in authority had pressed it upon him.
"To protect Mr. Lupin. I could not punish you as you certainly deserved without risking Mr. Lupin's secret to the whole school. Despite he being perfectly safe without people giving away his secrets, people would have called for, at the very least, his removal at the school. Some of the more prejudiced would have called for him to be 'put down' for the near attack." If Sirius had already been feeling like utter crap that morning, the feeling returned ten-fold at the simple explanation, "Quite honestly Mr. Black your actions would have warranted expulsion or even Azkaban, what you did was attempted murder."
No one had ever put it like that. It was always referred to as the prank or the incident. But Dumbledore had not minced his words, the twinkle had died from his eyes, he just told it as the truth was.
"I want you to punish me as much as you can without risking Remus." He hadn't felt that he deserved it until now. But now the full levity hit him, any punishment did not feel enough.
"There is little more I can do past extending your punishment until you leave these walls. Though the trust you have broken with your friends and your own guilt may be punishment more than anyone was expecting." Dumbledore looked at a clock on his desk then, "It is breakfast time, I think it's time you left."
Sirius left, scrambling to the Great Hall. When he got there his other three dorm mates were already there, James had that little furrow between his brow that spoke of his worry, he couldn't see Remus' and Peter's expression from where he faced away from them though. He slipped quietly onto the bench next to Peter, not quite daring to push in between him and Remus like he usually would.
"Where on earth have you been, Sirius? You weren't in bed when the rest of us got up." Sirius blushed, maybe from the shame of what had led to his actions this morning.
"I went to Dumbledore to talk. I asked him to increase my punishment." Lily, on James' arm, looked somewhere between vindicated and proud. He knew Lily had always liked him the least, his trick with Snape, no matter how things had been between them, had certainly not warmed her to him. She whispered something under her breath.
"Well maybe there's hope for him yet." But still Remus refused to talk to him, even as Peter and James did, and Sirius couldn't help thinking if maybe there wasn't hope for him, because what hope was there when not even his best friend could forgive him.
"This essay is driving me mad, Lils." Remus banged his head on the table, it wasn't often that academics got the better of him, but this Potion's essay was killing him. He had found himself studying with Lily more often since he had been avoiding Sirius as much as possible in the last month. He would forgive him in time, but he needed distance to make sure he was forgiving him because Sirius deserved the forgiveness and not just because Remus was in love with the damn mutt. Lily was certainly a better study partner than his dormmates who had a preference for fun over studying.
She took the paper from him, skimming it over before handing it back with a disgusted look.
"Nope, that's out of my depth. Your best bet would be to ask Sev."
"You think he'd help?" While certainly there had been a truce, they hadn't made friends with him either. Sometimes the man would nod at him in the castle, even exchange the odd word in shared lessons, but he steadfastly ignored Peter and James, and especially Sirius.
"Who knows? But he's not going to hex you for asking." There was a time when that wouldn't be the truth.
Remus, after leaving Lily, pulled out the Marauder's Map, searching for Snape on the thing. Of all the wonderful and terrible things he and his friends had done, this was certainly the best. Snape had been easy to find, the only person out by the lake on such a frigid day. He made sure to grab his thickest cloak, a gift from James last Christmas, before going outside. He did not want to freeze to death thank you very much.
He took a seat in the ice stiffened grass next to Snape, the man not commenting past a risen eyebrow.
"Lily said you might be willing to help me with my potions' essay." He felt a blush rise in his cheeks from embarrassment.
"And she could not help you herself?" There was a slight disbelief in his steady tone, Remus was almost surprised he could read the emotion.
"She said it was out of her depth. I suppose I maybe shouldn't have picked the hardest essay." He chuckled a little at himself. He liked the challenge most of the time. Snape merely rolled his eyes.
"Give it here, let's see what a cock-up you've made of it." If Remus had been talking to any other man, he would have called the tone teasing, either way he handed over the parchment to Snape. He didn't get past the title before Snape handed it back to him.
"What do you really want, Lupin?" Remus was confused, how had the title changed from the almost accepting tone to this coldness that wouldn't let anyone here.
"My essay can't be that bad?" Snape snorted, almost in spite of himself it seemed.
"Likely not. But either Lily lied to you, or you are lying to me because I went over this very same essay with Lily just yesterday." Remus could practically feel his eyebrows knot together from the confusion.
"You went over this with Lily already? Are you sure? Are you sure it wasn't a similar question?" There must have been something in his tone for Snape snatched the paper from him.
"I did. However, I may as well help you been as you're here now," He shook his head, a fond smile on the man's face. Somehow, he didn't look quite so scary with a smile on his face, "I tell you; Lily is up to something. Potter is having a bad influence on her."
There wasn't as much bite in his tone, Potter no longer sounded like a curse word coming from this man's lips.
"Yes, well, Lily is having a good influence on James. I'm sure you can handle a little sneakiness; I don't think we need worry about anything nefarious." For all she had disapproved of their harsher pranks he could not imagine her joining them with one of her own. "Maybe she just wants us to get along a little better?"
It was one of the only logical conclusions he could come to. Why else would she pretend not to know the answer to an essay she had already done. And maybe her plan had some merit, because before he knew it, the essay was done with, long done with and curfew was creeping upon them. He looked at his watch, swearing just slightly.
"Shit, we're going to be hard pressed to get back before curfew, Snape." Said man did not seem as worried as he did, getting up leisurely, stretching bones that had stiffened from both time and cold. Remus shivered a little, now his mind was no longer on the conversation, his body was now cold.
"My name is Severus, wolf." Then a warmth spread over him, a warming charm if the presence of Snape… Severus' wand was anything to go by. The heating charm was not enough to explain the blush that rose in his cheeks.
"I may be a wolf, but that is not my name, either." And still that damned blush would not leave him, following him on their walk to the castle and past that to the dorm.
"Remus, I'm sorry. I don't know if we can ever be the friends we once were, but please can you just speak to me properly again?" He wasn't really expecting it to go anywhere. Every other time he had tried to get through to the werewolf if had fell on deaf ears.
"I needed time, Sirius." Sirius felt a bloom of hope with the past tense.
"Needed?" None of the others were in the dorm, James was with Lily and Peter had tutoring with an older Ravenclaw. Remus ran his hand through his hair, a familiar habit that was a sign the man was uncomfortable or stressed.
"Yes, I think so, I needed time to make sure I was forgiving you because you deserved forgiving and not because I was in love with you." Remus was easy to blush, and like clockwork it showed up there. As if he had told more of the truth than he expected.
"In love with me?" He knew he should be focusing on the forgiveness part, but this was certainly the most important part as far as he was concerned, "You're in love with me?" He was surprised by the hope that bubbled through him like lava. They had all known Remus was gay, it wasn't a secret he kept from them, but this was.
"Was. I was in love with the man I could see you could be, not the person you are right now. It took me too long to figure that out." He lay back on his bed, his breath heavy as he spoke his heart, "But while I figured out that I'm not in love with you, I did realise I missed you. Immaturity and all. I don't trust you completely, not yet, but I'm never going to if I don't give you the chance." It was both a blow and strand of hope all wrapped into one. He thought he could see the signs now of Remus' affection, much like with James and Lily. But unlike James he hadn't grown up and missed out on the one person that could have been really good for him.
"Thank you." He wasn't sure what else to say. Wasn't particularly sure anything else was actually needed, only time would fix their friendship now.
"You look stressed, Remus." After that day by the lake, Severus had started to tentatively join Lily and Remus on some of their study dates. Remus was certainly the lesser of four evils in terms of the Marauders and he found himself enjoying the Wolf's company despite himself.
Said man ran a hand through his hair, falling into a chair. Both he and Lily gave the cause simultaneously.
"Sirius." Severus rolled his eyes. It was always Black.
"What on earth has he done now?" He had thought the man was trying to be on the straight and narrow now but looking at the stressed wolf before him it hadn't lasted much longer than a month.
"Nothing, all me. Finally told him I forgive him, but also added that I didn't trust him. Oh, and that it took me so long to forgive him because I used to be in love with him." Again, a hand raked through the sandy hair. Irritation with himself now clear on his face. And then a blush, "Shit, you didn't even know I'm gay."
"It's not something I'm going to hold against you." Love was too rare as it was, despite holding it against someone because their love wasn't conventional by bigot's standards. The wolf sighed a nod, as if at least a little of the worry slipping away, "No, I'm more likely to hold your taste of men against you. Black honestly." Lily gave him a disapproving look, one that said he was being insensitive. It was a look he was too familiar with. Remus let out a laugh though, warm sound in the quiet library.
"Hmm, maybe not my wisest choice." Lily looked at them like a goldfish out of water for a moment, before a satisfied smile came upon her face.
"He did not over-react to your admissions?" Even Severus could hear the concern in his own voice. Concern for the werewolf. What on earth was the world coming to?
"Surprisingly not. Either he is finally growing up or he didn't want to rock the boat." Severus just nodded, not quite daring to comment on just which of those he thought it to be.
"Remus, you are aware Snape was just flirting with you?" Weeks had passed and Christmas was nigh, he would easily call him and Severus friends now. Though no one but Lily and the man himself knew that. The look on Sirius' face as he made the comment was deeply perturbed.
"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius. Severus was just being friendly. Maybe you should try it sometime." He rolled his eyes, and yet his cheeks still burned from the blush that the taller boy had created. But it wasn't flirting, that's just how Severus was. He'd always been like that with Remus, well as long as they'd been friendly. He looked to James and Peter for agreement, but they both averted their eyes.
"Sorry, Rem. But I actually think Siri is right for once. I've seen plenty of friendly, that was not it." Any hope Remus had of his blush deteriorating slowly zipped away from him. Alarmingly he wasn't sure if it was because of the suggestion, or because he wasn't as against the idea as he should be.
"While I take offense to the 'for once' there Jamie, I am right. You don't usually blush like Rudolph's nose every time someone is friendly." Remus couldn't make a good argument without further incriminating himself. It wasn't his fault that he blushed easily, it must have been a fault of his genetics somewhere along the lines. He couldn't even get support from Lily that they were over-reacting, that this was merely just Severus being Severus, as she was lost in a conversation with Marlene.
"I thought you all thought he was madly in love with Lils?" It was the only defence he had left at this point.
"Got to form new hypotheses when new evidence is presented. Snape is as in love with Lily as I am James. As in, not at all, just best friends." Well damn. There went his last defence. Remus had long come to that same conclusion himself a few weeks ago, the pair treating each other more like siblings than anything.
"Whatever." God he really was falling down a dangerous path. Falling back on Sirius level non-committal call back. By the laugh Sirius let out he knew he was being ridiculous too.
"And so what if I am? Flirting with you, that is?" Severus kept his face impassive as Remus looked at him, both of them propped up on their forearms out by the Black Lake. Really it was much too cold, January in Scotland was not the time to be outside doing nothing. But a heating charm and seeing Remus in the scarf he had gifted him at Christmas made it all worth it.
Honestly, it had all started out as a game, seeing Remus blush became a challenge. He realised he was royally fucked however when about three weeks in the thought 'he does blush quite prettily' crossed his mind. It had all been a descent since then. A descent Lily had positively revelled in as he finally came to the realisation Lily had apparently come to months ago. And it had led them here, to this moment.
Remus looked surprised at his answer, as if he had expected to be laughed at for the suggestion.
"I… I'm not sure." Severus had never felt quite so much like he was on a precipice than in this very moment.
"Do you want me to stop?" That blush he had become so fond of rushed up into the wolf's cheeks, his head shaking tentatively. Hope wasn't a common emotion to him, but he felt it bubbling through him right now, "I agreed to a truce with your lot because of Lily, you know how much she means to me. Through it all I did not quite expect to find friendship. And yet, I quite like you, Remus." Remus nodded, as if he understood. But his following words showed that he didn't.
"So, I was right, you weren't flirting. That's just how you express friendship." If the disappointment in the man's tone was anything to go by, maybe his hope should not die yet. Severus was not one for putting himself on the line, yet this felt like the right moment. He supported his weight on his arm closest to Remus, his body twisting around so his other hand could trace a tender path along Remus' scarred cheek. Severus dreaded to think how heartbreakingly handsome the boy would be without the scars for saying he was still very much so with them. The cheek leant into the touch just so, pulling a quiet smile from Severus.
"No, you silly wolf, I do not flirt with all my friends, few as they may be. I flirt with you, because I like you." A look of surprise spread across the still flushed face, but Severus really didn't get much time to appreciate it because he leant in, placing his lips gently over the wolf's. It was tender, gentle, if not a little uncomfortable, both their lips were chapped from the cold. And yet, Severus wouldn't have changed it for the world, especially not that tiny gasp of surprise that Remus let out.
When he finally pulled away, more to breathe than anything, Remus was more flushed than he had ever seen him, eyes wild with surprise and a small smile on his lips. He seemed a little dazed if anything.
"Oh. I see." And though it really wasn't the moment, Severus crashed back into letting both his arms support his weight, a hearty chuckle pulled from his lips.
He was just glad it would not prove to be both the first and last of the kisses they shared.
"I shouldn't have let him get away, Jamie." Sirius had never felt more alone than when Remus got with Snape. Especially when they had argued over the topic. All he could remember was Remus telling him that he used to love him after their big argument, and now he had lost him, and if how happy Remus looked, he would never get him back.
"Are you saying that because you actually love him, or it's Snape that he's with." Sirius flushed with the anger at the accusation. Before the reality came to him. He wasn't gay, not even bisexual. He just wanted Remus' attention back. He hadn't even really lost it; they were still best friends. Mainly it was because it was Snape. James' eyes softened, "It's our last year, Siri. Maybe it's time you finally grew up. Marlene has had her eye on you for years. Even if you don't go to Marlene, maybe you should try going on more than one date with any one woman." Sirius rolled his eyes at James. Though he couldn't help thinking that maybe, just maybe his oldest friend was right.
"Hmm, we'll see. Marla is cute, though isn't she?" James just shoved his shoulder, glad to see the melancholy gone. It felt like all the marauders had grown up before their time and he had left them behind, even Peter had found someone steady, funnily enough his old tutor from Ravenclaw.
"I love you to the ends of the Earth, Lily Potter, will you marry me?" Lily stood there shocked, staring at her boyfriend. They'd only been together for just over a year, they were still in high school. What was he thinking? She had so many questions and doubts. Yet when she looked up into his hazel eyes, honest and full of love, the doubts faded away.
"Yes." The answers could be answered later. The engagement ring was a beauty, a little ostentatious for her tastes though from the classic nature of it she thought it may be a family heirloom. He slipped it onto her finger, pulling the hand up afterwards to place a kiss to her knuckles just below the rock. He looked at her like she had hung the moon, her heart flushing with so much affection, before he pulled her into a kiss that stopped her heart.
"You've just made me the happiest man on earth, Lily Soon-To-Be-Potter." She laughed at him, caught up in the magic at the moment. This certainly hadn't been what she was expecting when he said he had another present for her when they returned after Christmas, one he wanted to give in person. Her hands slipped down his arm tenderly as she looked at him seriously.
"Maybe not too soon, James. At least until after graduation." He nodded easily.
"I think mother would pitch a fit at anything less. That or accuse me of knocking you up." She had only met her boyfriend… fiancée's parents a couple of time, but he could very much imagine Dorea and Charlus' reaction. Likewise, her own parents weren't going to be best pleased.
"My dad is going to kill you." He laughed lightly as if the threat did not worry him. Then again James always was a cocky bastard.
"It didn't matter when I married you. He was always going to murder me. May as well get it over with." She rolled her eyes at the logic, but inside her heart was warmed by James' belief that even if she had said no today that it wouldn't be the end for them, "Snape's probably gonna murder me too." He didn't look too worried about that either. She pulled on James' arm, pulling him away from the abandoned, and beautifully decorated, classroom James had used for his proposal. He looked at her with confusion.
"May as well get it over with, no?" She sent him a cheeky grin, an action that received her a fond smile and an eye roll. Her fiancée wrapped an arm around her shoulder rather than letting her drag him. James was no longer surprised when he found Remus with Snape. Nor was he surprised to find them both down by the lake. Despite it being the middle of winter. Honestly, they were both ridiculous. Regardless, as they got closer to the lake Lily pulled away from him (taking even more of his warmth) and ran towards the two men. They looked surprised at her approach, but any concern was wiped away by her beaming smile.
"Severus! Remus! He asked me to marry him." Somehow telling people made it feel more real in her heart. She was going to marry James Potter. Maybe not yet, but soon. It was a strange turn of affections where Severus had to school the disapproval onto his face rather than it being genuine. Remus made no such attempt, standing to congratulate them both, pulling Severus up with him. Remus reached for the ring, a look of wonder on his face as he took in the gem.
"I trust this isn't because you're already starting the next generation of Potters?" Lily laughed, maybe because she was so happy, maybe because she saw it for the joke it was.
"Shush with you, you know fair too well that's not the case, go threaten my fiancée, I know you want to." He pulled her into a hug, whispering his congratulations into her hair. She turned to see the alarmed look on James' face as Severus came to give his final warnings.
"I overheard a prophecy at the leaky cauldron today, I think it could refer to Harry Potter or Neville Longbottom." The listener looked at Severus with ill-feigned interest.
"My boy? It could refer to my boy? Sev, what did you hear?" Lily's words were frantic as she looked at Severus with concern. War raged, steadily growing in intensity since their graduation. Still, Lily and James had given birth to a little boy. His Godson. Black hadn't been glad to share the responsibilities with him, but between dating Remus and his place in Harry's life Sirius had slowly become less acidic. Maybe it was just that Black had finally grown up, he certainly wasn't too shoddy of an auror.
"It was about a boy who could defeat the Dark Lord. Born as the seventh month dies, his parents having defied the Dark Lord three times. There was more but I didn't hear it." Lily looked remarkably calm for what he just told her. Though her eyes inflamed, and he knew that she hadn't dismissed it.
"We need to protect Harry, Sev. We need to warn the Longbottom's too. We need Dumbledore." Her training as a healer, short as it had been before falling pregnant, had made her calm in the face of stressful situations. He pulled his friend into his arms, resting his chin on her head, worried yet unsurprised to feel her body trembling. She might have been able to keep the worry off her face, but it didn't eliminate it completely.
"We should make Sev the secret keeper." James nodded; Lily was surprised by the lack of argument. Before his brow furrowed and shook his head.
"No, he'd be as much a target as Sirius. I won't see Severus taken to the grave for our secret. It should be someone less obvious." There would have been a time, many years ago now, that James would have happily seen Severus perish, it warmed her heart that those years were behind them, "Maybe Peter? We might have grown apart a little since graduation, but he's still a Marauder at heart, still an honorary Uncle to Harry."
Lily nodded; she could see it working. Close enough for them to be able to trust him, yet not too close that he would be immediate risk.
"Maybe so, Sirius will refuse any kind of protection, Remus and Severus will be safe up at Hogwarts. Yes, maybe Peter would be the right choice." She nodded her head sealing her decisiveness. But when an Animagus transformation is meant to represent an inner self, just what had they been thinking trusting a rat.
"Remus, the FIdelius is down." He felt sick to his stomach, the realisation dawned on him slowly, his thinking going from the next time he would see Harry and Lily, and the next he could think where he was visiting them. It meant one of two things: their Secret Keeper was dead, or their Secret Keeper had betrayed them. Remus' panicked eyes matched his.
"We need to get Sirius and we need to go to Godric's hollow." Severus grasped Remus' hand in his, the physical comfort of his partner settling his heart but doing little to calm the worried thoughts. They walked together out of the castle, almost running to the apparition point. Sirius must have felt the same things they did because he was there just outside the castle gates, grey eyes wild, wand flicking between his fingers in a nervous habit.
They apparated together to a destination they should never have known, all hope fading from Severus when he saw the door blasted from its hinges. Severus fought back bile at the sight of James Potter dead just past the threshold of his home, glasses askew, eyes empty, wand discarded at his side. Remus' grip on his hand became inexplicably tighter as Black let out a choked sob.
He wanted to go no further, dare not see what else awaited him in the home, but they needed to know the fate of Lily and Harry. He stepped into the house, the wards no longer giving any resistance, past James' body, pausing just momentarily to slide the lids closed. While both were clearly not thinking straight the other two men followed him up the stairs, he wondered which room to check first until he noticed the door to Harry's room was blasted open. He prayed continually in his head that James had managed to buy Lily and Harry time to escape.
Like many a time in his life though, his prayers went unanswered, his eyes drawn to the prone body of his very first and very best friend. He felt the world slow infinitesimally, his heart pounding in his chest as a sob was pulled from his chest, he wanted to pull her into his arms and hug her one last time, but she would feel no such thing. It would be difficult to pull her close anyway, half her body covered in rubble from what looked like a small explosion. And if Lily was dead then that left no hope for little Harry.
Except, there was. When he returned from the fog of his grief, not gone just pushed behind well-honed occlumency shields, he heard the crying, and just above it the small shushing sounds from Remus. His head snapped up, Harry was there sobbing in Remus' arms, it was no wonder the boy was not calming when the man was crying along with him.
"He left his wand?" There was confusion in Sirius' voice as he held up the weapon, "We need to talk to Dumbledore, something happened here that meant Harry survived and Voldemort left without his wand."
"Give t' baby 'ere, Remus. Dumbledore will take 'im somewhere safe." Sirius' eyes flashed with irritation. It was rare that he and Severus were in solidarity. But they were this night, in their grief and in their desire to protect their Godson. They both stepped in front of Remus where he held the baby, his sobs settling to shaky snuffles.
"He is safe. Both his godfather's and his honorary one are here. You should be with the Longbottom's instead, warning them that Voldemort is AWOL." Sirius' voice had never been so icy, especially not with Hagrid who was usually too soft for such a tone.
"Dumbledore thinks Voldemort is gone for now." Neither Sirius nor Severus backed down though.
"His followers are not though. People need protecting, we need to settle our Godson, and someone needs to catch that rat that betrayed us." They had all thought Peter had been the perfect decoy. Thought him trustworthy. And it had cost James and Lily their lives. Sirius wanted to kill him. Was sure that if Severus and Remus hadn't been with him, he would have gone half mad and gone after Peter. At least they knew how he would hide.
"We were going to talk to Dumbledore anywhere, but he isn't having our Godson." Severus' voice was firm, garnered no argument. Hagrid looked like he still wanted to argue, like he wasn't sure how to argue against Dumbledore's orders, but finally in the end left the spot.
"He's a Horcrux." Severus felt his heart stop at Dumbledore's words. They were things he'd only heard about in rumour. It had been 3 years since the Potter's deaths and he thought the horror, though never the pain, was over. He thought it had been laid to rest with Lily and James, laid to rest with the snapping of Voldemort's wand and Pettigrew receiving the kiss. They were as happy as they could be without Lily and James.
Harry lived with him and Remus, Hogwarts providing a safer space for Harry, and his and Remus' long-term relationship providing stability. Sirius of course was now a regular fixture in the castle, playing as much a role in his Godson's life and Severus and Remus. The other teachers doted on him too, and despite the tragedy that had defined his early years he was now both happy and healthy. But this would change everything.
"What does that mean for Harry?" He was asleep in Remus' arms, a favourite place of his since the very first time Remus had picked him up since the tragedy. Severus watched as Remus clutched the boy tighter in his arms, Severus wanted to join the embrace, protect them both with all he had. But he faced Albus, his eyes without their trademark twinkle.
"It means Voldemort will eventually return unless Harry dies." Severus clutched the edge of his seat, blood draining from his face. He hadn't felt this sick since James and Lily had died, since he had seen their bodies.
"No! There's got to be another way!" He would not give up. Not relinquish his boy to death. Though he was biologically James and Lily's, written in every feature of his face, he was his and Remus' now too through circumstance.
"I'm sorry, Severus. I made sure all the others were dealt with before bringing up the matter with you. A Horcrux can only be removed by destroying the vessel." Severus could feel tears stinging the back of his eye, fear for his boy filling every fibre of his being.
"I won't let you kill him, Albus." His voice was like poison.
"There is no sign of Voldemort returning yet, I think our best bet is to explore to see if we can find any rituals. We will give it another year, if nothing is found Harry will have to be sacrificed for the greater good." His eyes did not twinkle, nor did they waver, as they gave their time-bomb. Severus could already feel it ticking over his head.
It was petty and disgusting but he spat at a man he had once respected before making his leave, Remus at his side just as pent up as he was.
"Goblins! We haven't explored Goblin rituals!" Remus felt like he had reached a distinct Eureka moment. There time to find a solution was slowly running out and it was pressing on them all. They had lost too much already and there was a determination that they wouldn't lose Harry as well.
Naturally, they already had plans in place to escape with Harry if no solution could be found before Dumbledore's deadline. Plans that would have to be put in place in three short months if they did not find something soon. But they wanted to find a solution, for the good of the Wizarding world and for Harry. To think their boy had a piece of such an evil entity within his mind chilled them to the bone, no matter how little signs of it they seemed to show.
Bags had formed under Severus' eyes many months ago now, his searching tireless, and yet they brightened then, just slightly, the first glimmer of true hope shining in his eyes.
"We need to get him to Gringotts then." Severus punctuated his words with a nod. He'd always been the more decisive of the pair, once he had decided a plan, he would go through with it, "Next time Black is here, we'll go."
It really wasn't the time and yet it still amused Remus to no end that his lover and best friend referred to each other by their surnames. Many a mountain they had been able to get over but finding friendship within each other was not one of them. Remus could settle for the civility though. Undoubtedly, Harry would continue to be spoilt, if only so Severus and Sirius could continue to one-up each other. They were ridiculous, but he loved them both anyway.
"He's not due until next weekend, maybe we should see if he's free this weekend instead?" Remus just wanted it all to be over, wanted his family safe and happy once again. The only person who was still truly happy was Harry, though only because he was too young to understand or even know what was going on. Again, Severus nodded. He wasn't as unreasonable as people liked to think, he could very well listen to other people's beliefs.
"I will go give Harry his bath, you Floo your Mutt." Remus rolled his eyes; he was past the stupid nicknames. Sometimes he thought that telling Severus about Sirius' animagus form was a mistake, despite it leading to an increase in respect between the pair.
Sirius still came with him every full moon, the Whomping Willow still where he transformed now that he was a teacher. Severus had long ago learned the transformation in case Sirius was ever incapacitated but mostly used the time for quality time with Harry.
"Sirius, we think we might have found a possible solution we've over-looked." For saying they were all still in their 20's, Sirius looked terrible haggard as he poked his head through the fire.
"Will it put Harry at risk?" Remus shrugged; they honestly didn't know until they spoke to the Goblins.
"We thought maybe the Goblins will know magics we do not. We want to take him to Gringotts at the weekend for assessment. Will you be able to change your visiting weekends arounds?" Remus was pretty sure Sirius did not even consider his answer before giving it to Remus.
"Sure thing, I'll be able to twist Moody's leg." Remus knew his best friend too well and knew the undercurrent there, he would be able to twist their leg, or he would just skive off. Sirius really didn't have the right mindset towards job security as he should, but he was Lord of the Black House now. His parents had died over the last two years, and while Walburga had burned him off the family tree he had not been legally disowned. The occasion had been met with a great number of drinks, the reinstatement of Andromeda and the disownment of Bellatrix. Narcissa had mostly been left alone on the stipulation she left her husband and the country with her son. From all intents and purposes the Lady Black was rather settled in France now.
"Hmm, yes. Simple but delicate ritual. You will need something magically strong, but you'd be willing to destroy as we can transfer the Horcrux to that and then destroy the inhuman vessel." Immediately at the news Severus started to remove his watch. He had listened to the Goblin's words and though it was his final gift from his mother, nothing was too large a sentimental sacrifice for Harry's safety. Remus' hand came upon his, his eyes soft.
"Severus, that watch means the world to me." Severus did not soften though, holding his most treasured gift in his hand, it felt heavier than it ever had before.
"No, it means a lot to me. You mean the world to me, our boy means the world to me, there is nothing I would not give to see you both safe." It was not even a lie, he would both kill and be killed if it meant the two people he loved most in this world would survive even another day. Remus' eyes sparkled with tears, his lips meeting in a soft kiss, wetter yet reminiscent of that very first one they shared.
"Sirius has a whole vault of stuff he couldn't give two hoots about; no sacrifice is needed." Severus felt a little foolish, sometimes he forgot just what kind of man Black was. He nodded, strapping the watch back to his wrist, Remus nodded, pleased with the decision before placing a gentle kiss to his wrist just above where the artefact lay.
When they tuned back into the conversation, Black and the Goblins continuing their conversation to allow him and Remus a small amount of privacy, it had turned to specifics of the ritual.
"Will it hurt Harry in any way? How long will it take?" Black's questions seemed almost frantic, alarming in the quiet of the chamber. Harry had long since fallen asleep, the adult conversation going over his little four-year-old head despite knowing it referred to him.
"Likely it will hurt quite significantly, the scar will bleed, and the soul will fight. However, we are positive that the Boy will come out alive and outside of some discomfort, unscathed. It will take anywhere between half an hour and three hours depending on the fight the Horcrux puts up." Severus let his hand tighten in Remus'. They had expected there to be some pain, could not imagine such a thing leaving their boy without pain, but the confirmation, especially in that gravelly Goblin tone, made it all the more real. The three men shared a look, but it was in vain, what choice did they really have.
"How soon can it be done, and what payment do you require?" Severus' tone was sharp, distinct, but he knew the Goblins would not take offense for they spoke in much the same way.
"We can ready the ritual for in an hour, we require the artefact for destruction and 15000 Galleons." Before either he or Remus could step in with claims of payment, Sirius stood.
"Well then, Mr. Griphook, I think you should take me to my vault."
The coming hours would prove to be the longest of Severus' short life, Remus' steady grip on him the only thing holding him back from interrupting the ritual that would save both his boy's and the whole Wizarding World's life.
"Tell me again, about James and Lily." His dad pulled him into his side, his papa's arm falling over his shoulder as he was settled between them. Harry thought they both loved and hated to tell him about his Birth Parents. Loved it because they didn't want their memory to die in their son, but hated it because despite Harry being 13 now, the memories still hurt.
Sometimes Harry wished he remembered them more, to take away the guilt that he felt that while he was curious, he would never love them like his family loved them. He recognised the sacrifice they had made for him, but he had spent less than two years with them, but just short of twelve with his Dad and Papa. Much to his Papa's amusement his dad and Godfather still argued on the regular, the two while now a lot more civil than in the past from what he'd heard, would never be friends.
He felt for his family's pain, for what they had lost, but as far as he was concerned, all was well.