There was only one floor to go to, but the elevator trip felt longer than just a single story. Still, the car slowed just as normal and stopped and the doors opened with a pleasant ding.

DORM: ELEVATOR HALLWAY EAST

I smiled to Lucina as pleasantly as I could, and we walked out into a very normal-looking lobby area, with potted plants on tables and little nooks for charging phones (that reminded me: I checked my pocket and confirmed that my cell phone was no longer with me). The only strange thing was the cameras all over the ceiling, just like upstairs. Lucina shrugged, and we started off down a small hallway towards what looked to be a larger, central area.

"Ods bodkins!" a voice rang out.

We turned to see a young man running toward us looking completely flabbergasted. I was pretty flabbergasted myself: his tanned skin and short, dark hair looked normal enough (and he continued the pattern of our classmates being quite good-looking), but he was dressed in a monk's robe. Literally, a brown robe with a rope tied around his waist and everything.

The man reached us and looked back and forth in shock. "Where did you come from?" he asked. "You appeared from a dead-end hallway like wizards!"

I knew I would have to do the talking for my little two-woman team, but I did not expect to run into anyone like this. "Uh. We got off the elevator."

The monk-boy squinted at us. "Elevator."

"Y...yes. We were upstairs, and we rode the elevator down."

"You elevated down?" The boy squeezed his head in bafflement. "Riddles on top of riddles!"

I put my hand up. "Hold on, you don't know what an elevator is?" I took a closer look at him. He really seemed to be for real; his face was innocent and confused. He was not particularly tall... Lucina towered over him, even slightly hunched... but he was broad and pure muscle.

He bowed his head. "I was raised in near seclusion to learn how to serve Our Lord, and as such, I am new to this land of wonders."

"Oh." I decided it was best to just accept everything for now and worry if I was going insane later. "Well, an elevator is a small room that can carry you to another level in a building. Do you see those doors, there?" I pointed back from where we had come. "Those lead to the elevator."

"Ah, yes!" The man snapped his fingers. "The metal box! Yes, the small mouse-girl pushed me into one earlier, on the opposite side of this building. I was quite confused when I suddenly found myself in a new place! Thank you for explaining it." He grinned with genuine gratitude.

Despite everything, I felt kind of comfortable around this guy. "Well, I'm Saya, the Ultimate Chess Grandmaster. This is Lucina, the Ultimate Conductor. Are you a student here, too?"

"Oh, yes!" The man switched to a rigid stance, placing a fist on his chest. "I am Rodrigo Diaz, and I have been declared to be the Ultimate Paladin. I am honored to meet you, and my sword and my loyalty are yours."

His seriousness was intimidating, and I felt like I should reciprocate somehow. "Ah. Thank you. And my... chess is yours. If you need it." I ignored the look Lucina gave me.

Rodrigo, for his part, looked pleased. "This place is so bright and cheerful compared to the monastery! I am overjoyed that the people are likewise."

I nodded; my good feeling about this weirdo was increasing. "We're exploring and trying to figure out what's going on. Would you like to come with us?"

Rodrigo shook his head. "No, I must learn how to use these amazing elevating machines, if I am to live here." He gave us another fist-chest salute. "Till later, friends."

NAME: Rodrigo Diaz (danieltruong1917)

TITLE: Ultimate Paladin

:::::::

Q: If your life was a story, what would be its genre?
RD: An epic of derring and adventure, sadly.
Q: Sadly?
RD: I would prefer a picaresque lark, or even a farce. I know little of this, but what is the term... I heard it on the flying machine. A story where drawings move as if alive.
Q: A cartoon?
RD: Yes! Yes. I wish my life was as a cartoon.

We watched him go. I heard scribbling and turned to see Lucina show me a new note: Nice guy.

"I think so, too."

DORM: ENTRANCE LOBBY

We walked into the larger space, to what appeared to be an entrance area. Large doors lay on one wall, with hallways in various directions. There were small boxes lining the walls; mailboxes, I presumed. A desk labeled VISITOR INFORMATION sat, abandoned.

I noticed a set of glass doors near the large one, and I saw they led out into a large, sunlit room. There were two people in there, having what looked to be an argument. I crept closer and carefully opened the door.

DORM: SOLARIUM

"...because you can't do nothing when there's work to be done!" a shrill voice pierced the air, contrasting horribly with the loveliness and serenity of this solarium we now found ourselves in. The source of the voice was probably the smallest person I had ever seen (Rodrigo's 'mouse-girl,' I realized). She was dressed in colorful, business-casual clothes, with a dark lilac jacket and a pink beret on her head. Her very long, black hair shone against her pale skin. She was well under five feet tall and had a tiny frame, though she seemed to have plenty of energy, the way she was moving around and yelling.

The man she was yelling at looked very vaguely annoyed. "I'm not doing nothing," he replied calmly. "I'm relaxing. It's important for mental health." He was tall and well-built, with a shaved head and fairly dark skin. He was wearing a green, camouflage-colored uniform, but with a red baseball cap.

"Relaxing?" the girl shrieked. "We're at school. We're supposed to be learning. We..." The man had noticed us and indicated with a tilt of his head. The girl turned, noticing us, and crossed her arms over her chest. "More people. Fine." She stomped over to us and glared with dark, dark eyes. "Do you work here?"

I shrank back, despite her size. She was even shorter than I'd originally thought... maybe 4'8" or so. She was almost certainly small enough to be a dwarf, but she didn't have the body proportions of other little people I'd met; she just looked like an average young woman, except tiny. "No." I noticed Lucina looked terrified, so I leaned forward a bit. "We're students. I'm Sa..."

"Whatever. What are you good at?" She pointed back over her shoulder. "This lump won't help."

The man walked closer, smiling in a friendly way. "Hi! I'm Giuseppe, but you can call me Bepi. Or Lump, I guess." He was handsome, too, but he had a large scar from his forehead down to his neck, slashing across a closed and probably long-since destroyed eye. "This is Ashley."

"Ashley Coelho, the Ultimate Debater," the girl barked. "Don't forget it." She regarded us with irritation. "So, you don't work here? You're students? You'd have to tell us if you had any clues."

"What?" I looked between them for a moment in confusion. "Clues?"

"Yes, clues!" Ashley confirmed. "We're students at the most prestigious college in the country! This is obviously our first test! Like an escape room, except it contributes to your GPA!"

I hadn't thought of that, but it seemed pretty plausible. An elaborate getting-to-know-you exercise, like that horrible ropes course they made me do once. I heard paper tearing, and Lucina handed a note to them.

Ashley greedily grabbed the note, then frowned. "Oh, it's just your names." She sighed. "Well, good to meet you, I guess. I'm going to go solve this. Alone. I am not starting my college career with an A minus." She stomped out of the room, pushed open the doors, and left.

NAME: Ashley Coelho (QueenOfChocolateWinx)

TALENT: Ultimate Debater

:::::::

Q: If your life was a story, what genre would it be?
AC: Life isn't a story.
Q: But if it was...
AC: But it's not.
Q: Okay, then.

Giuseppe shook his head. "Thanks for interrupting. I think she's probably a pretty cool person, but... I don't think she handles stress very well."

"I'm kind of amazed we're not all acting like that," I remarked. Lucina nodded in agreement.

Giuseppe shrugged. "Some of us are used to more stressful situations, I guess. Chess and conducting, those are pretty high-stakes. And, well, I know a little about that, too." He tapped the side of his head next to his scar. "I was recruited here as the Ultimate Cadet."

I suddenly noticed that his uniform had a tag on it that said CADET 2: CHILD SOLDIER PROGRAM.

He noticed me looking. "You don't want to know what happened to Cadet 1," he said. I honestly could not tell if it was a joke or not.

NAME: Giuseppe "Bepi" Perfetto (Chandagrigus)

TALENT: Ultimate Cadet

:::::::

Q: We're almost done; just one final question. If your life was a story, what genre would it be?
GP: [laughs] You know those shitty movies? With the DVD covers that trick people into thinking they're real, big-budget, Hollywood blockbusters? That genre. [laughs] Whatever that is.

I knew I'd meet people from a lot of different backgrounds in college, but I had not expected actual child soldiers. I suddenly did not know what to say.

Bepi gave me an intense, hollow look. "You should marry someone from Prague," he said.

I blinked. "What?"

"You should marry someone from Prague. Do you know why?"

I blinked again. "No."

"Because. That way, you'd always have a Czech mate."

We simply stared at him for a moment, but then Lucina suddenly doubled over. I realized she was laughing silently, and I was surprised when a giggle escaped my lips, too. "That's terrible."

He simply grinned. "Do you mind if I come with you to try to meet some of the others? I'm hoping the Ultimate Dad Joker is here and I can become their apprentice."

"Sure," I said. Lucina nodded to him warmly, her stance more relaxed than it had been before. The three of us walked out of the solarium and back to the central entrance hall.

DORM: ENTRANCE LOBBY

"Did you guys just come downstairs?" Bepi asked. At our nods, he scratched his chin in thought. "Those probably lead outside, but I haven't been out there yet," he said, pointing at the large doors nearby. He indicated two hallways across from one another. "Those lead to elevators, which seem to be the only way upstairs to our rooms."

"Hmm." I put my hands on my hips. "Did you meet Juliet? Brown hair, red dress?"

Bepi nodded. "She makes an impression."

"We met her, too," I said. "So if you came down through there..." I pointing down the hallway opposite from the one Lucina and I had emerged from, "...then that means all our rooms are on the same hallway, with elevators at either end."

Lucina scribbled a quick note and held it out to us: My window looked higher up than the second story. What about the floors in between?

"Good question," I replied. I scoped out the room; the door to the solarium and the doors to the outside were behind me; hallways leading to the elevators were to my right and left. Ahead of us, there were two marked bathrooms, the empty information desk, and two short passages leading to closed doors. I shrugged and headed to one of the closed doors, the others following behind.

DORM: LOUNGE

I opened the door to reveal a very comfortable-looking lounge, with a number of cushy chairs and couches. There was a large TV on one side of the room, and a large row of bookcases on the opposite wall. A woman stood in front of the bookcase, scanning the titles, her straight, black hair reaching halfway down her back. Her hips jutted off to the side as if she was posing enticingly for us.

But, as we stepped into the room, she turned in surprise and regarded us with a slightly amused expression. She strode closer.

She wore a black, too-tight dress and a dark-grey trench coat. She had not put her arms through the sleeves, so it hung over her like a cape, and it allowed us to see the onyx gloves that reached almost all the way to her elbow.

She stood before us confidently. "What have we here?" she proclaimed with excellent diction. "A mouse, a tall mouse, and a cripple." She was extremely voluptuous, and her body jiggled, not unpleasantly, as she laughed to herself. "What an odd collection of misfits."

I think all three of us were too surprised to be offended, but luckily she just kept talking. "My name is Jane Edwards, and I was recruited here as the Ultimate Geneticist." She had a strange accent; kind of Britishy but not anything I recognized. Maybe she was Welsh, or something?

I glanced at my companions but found no help, so I spoke up. "Hi. I'm Saya Wild, the Ultimate Chess Grandmaster, and this is Lucina Sorenson, the Ultimate Conductor, and Giuseppe Perfetto, the Ultimate Cadet."

She had clearly lost interest several words into my greeting, and she tilted her head slightly. "You're good at a game. You do... art..." (she said the word with a near shudder) "...And you kill things. That's... all very charming, I suppose, but you'll forgive me if I was hoping for classmates who were a bit more... academic."

NAME: Jane Edwards (Tario Ed)

TALENT: Ultimate Geneticist

:::::::

Q: If your life was a story, what would its genre be?
JE: [laughs] The typical person would likely consider it science fiction. That's rubbish, of course. If it's science, it can't be fiction.

Lucina withdrew in on herself at the insult, but Bepi seemed completely unphased. "You must have known how wide the range of talents is here when you were recruited, right?" he asked.

Jane waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, I didn't pay attention. I work for the Oasis Corporation as a project manager, and my employers have a technical requirement such positions require a degree. I'm only here to check a box; it's a bother, really."

I think she expected us to be impressed at her status, and at our blank looks, she narrowed her eyes. "It's been a pleasure, but I'm afraid you caught me at a rather busy moment. I was looking through the book selection here. It's quite paltry, but there may be something of scientific merit yet." She turned and walked back to the bookshelf, quite clearly indicating her lack of interest in continuing the conversation.

Lucina held up her notebook with one word written on it. I don't want to say what the word was, but I agreed with it. We shuffled out of the lounge, closing the door behind us, and we went to the other short hallway to see what was behind the other door.

DORM: COMPUTER LAB

We stepped into a sterile-looking computer lab with bright, white walls and fluorescent lights. The computers looked quite new, but they were all turned off.

Ashley was on her hands and knees on the floor. She had opened up a computer and was currently digging through its insides. She looked even more annoyed than she had been before, but that was probably because of the man that was with her.

He seemed as easy-going as she was serious. He wore chino shorts and a salmon-colored, Polo shirt. He reclined in a computer chair next to Ashley, and his blonde hair stuck out messily under his backwards baseball cap.

"Could I have the screwdriver, please?" she asked. He blithely reached down to pick up a screwdriver and handed it over. As Ashley took it, she noticed us in the doorway and glared, then went back down to her work.

The man noticed us and waved. "Oh hey!" he greeted. "More hot chicks!" We clearly had no clue how to react to that, but the man was unmoved. "I'm JP Laettner, good to meet you!"

"Go on, tell them what your talent is," Ashley grunted, not looking up.

JP grinned. "I'm the Ultimate Fraternity Brother!" he said. "So I'm gonna be your hookup on the social scene this year. A real G.F.Q., you know what I'm saying?" He laughed.

"What does 'Ultimate Fraternity Brother' mean?" I asked.

JP spun around in his chair. "It means I'm a real part of a community," he replied enthusiastically. "I'm in Chi Chi Chi. Trip-Chi! It goes all the way back to the Civil War, you know? Bros helping each other. I know the traditions, I got the connections, and the ladies can't get enough." He had a slight pudge in his belly, but otherwise he was *also* very handsome. I was starting to feel self-conscious.

NAME: JP Laettner (J Carp)

TALENT: Ultimate Fraternity Brother

:::::::

Q: If your life was a story, what genre would it be?
JPL: Porno. [laughs]
Q: That's it?
JPL: Yeah. But dude, like, a classy porno. None of that German shit.

Bepi looked down at the tiny lady poking a screwdriver into the computer. "Ashley, what are you doing?"

"Forget it," Ashley said, coldly. She looked up and glared. "You didn't want to help."

Bepi looked at us and shrugged. "Well, we're going to keep exploring," he said. "Good luck with... all that."

"See you later, ladies," JP called. "And you too, bro. Trip-chi! We're rushing later, don't miss out!"

We stepped out of the computer lab quickly.

DORM: ENTRANCE LOBBY

I intended to debrief with the others as soon as the door was closed (and yes, maybe laugh a little about the odd couple we'd just run into) but I quickly stopped short. There was a young man standing in the middle of the room, stock-still, staring at us.

He was wearing a black hoodie with some logo on it (I thought it might have been for some video game series, but I wasn't sure), sweatpants with a fire pattern up the side, and a pair of red headphones around his neck. His shoulder-length hair hung loosely, and he even had a soul patch, which eerily contrasted with his blank expression. Black-rimmed glasses sat on his face, glinting oddly in the light.

Lucina and I were surprised, but Giuseppe's reaction was surprising. His body tensed, and he took a half-step forward, as if ready to protect us. "Hello, friend," he said eventually. "Were you here a minute ago?"

"No." The man had a slight accent; I thought maybe he was Puerto Rican or something.

After another few seconds of silence, the man's face, with no noticeable prompt, settled into something approaching a friendly smile. "Therion Suarez. Ultimate Game Designer."

I smiled back to try to ease the tension. "Hi. I'm Saya, this is Lucina and Giuseppe. We're exploring to try to figure out what's going on. Did you just wake up here, too?"

"Robot bear," Therion confirmed. "Ether rag." He looked at us curiously. "You all have a lot of secrets."

I blinked. "What?"

"Secrets. Your body language." He walked closer, looking at Lucina especially. "Should be more careful. Can't afford to give so much away."

His friendly smile had not flagged, which was the most disturbing part. "What do you mean, 'can't afford to?'"

He shrugged. "This place is dangerous. Not sure why yet. Be careful who you trust." And then, he just waved and began casually walking away toward one of the elevators. "Catch you later."

We watched him go, nonplussed.

NAME: Therion Suarez (Epifanio Therion)

TALENT: Ultimate Game Designer

:::::::

Q: Final question: if your life was a story, what would its genre be?
TS: Story's not important. Gameplay is what matters. I'm a strategy game.
Q: A strategy game?
TS: Use your resources. Seems simple. Not really simple.

Although Therion hadn't done anything particularly threatening, I couldn't help but feel... uncomfortable. Lucina was especially affected, clutching her chest and breathing quickly. I reached out to her but did not let my fingers actually touch her arm. "You okay?"

She nodded, but it was unconvincing. Giuseppe frowned. "Maybe we should split up. Lucina and I will stay here and relax for a minute. Saya, you scout around outside and see if there's anyone else out there, okay? Report back to us when you're done."

That sounded like a good plan to me; it might get dangerous still hanging out with Lucina after what Therion said about secrets, and I felt flattered, like I was a real spy being sent on a real mission. "Okay. I'll come back and fill you in later."

As Bepi led Lucina to a nearby chair, I approached the doors to the outside.

I just couldn't get over how normal everything was, even if the people I was meeting were a bunch of oddballs. And what did Therion mean when he said this place was dangerous? We couldn't possibly be in danger; we were just in a normal college dorm. But even as I had the thought, an unsettling feeling settled into my stomach.

Fact 5: Two sets of elevators go up to the dorm rooms. Every suite in the building seems to be on the same hallway, but I don't know for sure.

Fact 6: On the ground floor, the elevators are across the building from one another. Hallways lead from the elevators to a large, central area with mailboxes, bathrooms, and an information desk.

Fact 7: Branching off of the central area are a solarium, a computer lab, and a lounge.

Fact 8: Most people seem pretty convinced this is all just a strange kind of lesson for its Ultimates, but at least some of us are worried.

STUDENTS MET SO FAR:

-Rodrigo Diaz, Ultimate Paladin
-Bishop
-Dresses like a monk
-Grew up in a monastery without access to modern technology
-Seems honorable and religious

-Ashley Coelho, Ultimate Debater
-Queen
-Very small, but kinda terrifying
-High strung, focused on academics
-The only person I've met so far who isn't very good-looking, but that's probably just because she sort of looks like a little kid

-Giuseppe Perfetto, Ultimate Cadet
-Pawn
-Says we can call him 'Bepi'
-Really nice
-Some kind of horrible past; scarred face and damaged eye. Maybe he and Lucina can be scar buddies?
-Oh my god, Saya, that was a terrible thing to think, what is wrong with you

-Jane Edwards, Ultimate Geneticist
-Bishop
-Rude and snobby
-Hot, of course, god
-Obviously very smart and good at science, but doesn't seem to care about anything BUT science

-JP Laettner, Ultimate Fraternity Brother
-Knight
-Ultimate Fraternity Brother what even

-Therion Suarez, Ultimate Game Designer
-Knight
-Offputting, but I can't really tell if he's actually trying to be friendly?
-Good at reading people
-Warned about some kind of danger

Character theme songs are up on my profile; I find them helpful at understanding motivations and characterizations.