"Staples, Zoro. Four of them. She lacerated her scalp way more than stitches could repair. This has gone on long enough. You have to talk to her!" Chopper stomped his hoof in indignation.
"And say what, Chopper? Do you even really understand what happened to her?" Zoro asked quietly.
"Do I understand? Do I understand?! Zoro, I performed weekly perineal exams to check her progress! I placed sutures in her! I removed a half inch wooden splinter from near her cervix! I performed a phlebectomy on her labia, Zoro. I may not be human myself, but I do comprehend your species' depravities", Chopper growled. "Don't you dare ask me if I understand what happened. I am her doctor. And you're supposed to be her friend."
"Well, what the hell do you think I'm going to do for her at this point, Doctor? Do you know how angry she'll be, how—"
"That's exactly it, though Zoro! You're her friend! Let her be angry at you. Let her yell or hit you or whatever she needs to do. Make her face it, because she'll be safe facing it with you. If you don't, it'll eat her alive." Chopper had never looked so serious.
Zoro opened his mouth to yell back…but found there were no words to yell. The reindeer was right. He often was in matters of the soul. "All right. You win."
"And another thing, I—" Chopper began. "Wait, what? You'll do it?" Hope blossomed on his face. "Oh, Zoro, I knew you would do it, I knew you could see once I explained it, I knew you'd understand after—"
"Don't press your luck."
Chopper made a 'zip it' motion indicating his silence.
Zoro turned to the door to the infirmary. Time to beard the lion in its den, he supposed.
"Kill me," she whispered as he entered.
"What?" Zoro asked, surprised. This was not what he'd expected.
"It's what you want, isn't it? Just do it. I'm done."
"Robin…what are you talking about?"
"God, Zoro, don't play dumb. Although you probably don't even have to fake it," she scoffed.
Her words stung. He remained silent.
"You don't think I've seen you watching me? Waiting for a time when my defenses are down? And you can attack like…predators? I can't fight it any more. Do it."
"Robin, I—"
"DO IT!" she screamed.
Zoro stood silent a moment, then went to her. He pulled the same chair he'd used a lifetime ago over to her bed.
"Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" she shrieked in desperation, lying weakly across rumpled bedding.
He placed his hand on her forehead lightly. She glared at him, baring her teeth like an animal, fighting to avoid slaughter. He sighed. "Robin, I am not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. Ever."
She barked out a delirious laugh. "Right, Zoro. Then what the fuck is that between your legs?"
Sorrow and regret creased his face. "Oh Robin. Sweetheart…" There was nothing else to say. He shifted his hand and began stroking her hair, smoothing the tangled locks. How long had it been since she'd tried to comb it instead of just knotting it back? He'd been so distracted by her lack of mental health, he hadn't seen that her physical self care was slipping as well.
"What do you want?" she demanded through clenched teeth.
"I don't want a thing," he whispered.
That silenced her for a moment. He thought. "Your body is yours, Robin. It belongs to you only. No matter what happened, no matter what's happening now, or ever will happen. You have total sovereignty over yourself. Nothing in the world will stop me from protecting that…from protecting you. Robin, I would fight to the death to keep you safe. I swear it to you."
She looked at him, searching for truth. What did he mean? Was he in earnest? Was this a trick? He continued to brush his fingers over her forehead, through her hair. Were there tears in his eyes? What was this?
"There will never come a day that I won't be here for you."
She met his eyes, feeling upside down and confused.
"There will never come a day that I would let anyone hurt you, ever."
Her breath began to hitch in her chest. "How dare you?" she breathed.
Zoro looked at her steadily.
"They did everything to me. Anything they wanted. Whenever they wanted. Do you know what they did?" he had the decency to look ashamed. "Do you? Do you understand? Do you understand how they laughed? How they came? How they grabbed at me?" She swallowed. "Nothing about me was mine. Not an inch of my skin. It was theirs. My outside, my inside, my mind, everything, everything was chained to a wall in a room lined in sea prism stone and I couldn't do anything to save myself and you weren't there!" Her voice rose in angry crescendo. "You were nowhere and I was alone and I was cold and I was trapped and I was raped a hundred times and their eyes were on me, Zoro! They looked at me and I was nothing but meat to them! And you were not there! Protect me my ass. Get out."
"Robin—"
"GET OUT!"
"No."
"What the fuck did you say?"
"No. I'm not leaving."
"Fuck you, Zoro. Get out!"
"No."
"Zoro, please!"
"No."
"Zoro—"
"Robin, I'm not leaving until we can talk."
"We did talk. Get out."
"No, you talked and I listened. A conversation goes both ways."
She huffed and he saw her for a moment—a glimmer of the Robin he knew, trapped in an argument she should have won and didn't. It gave him immeasurable hope; she was still in there.
"Fine. Okay. Say what you need to say then."
Zoro took a deep breath. This was very much not the time to fuck up. He reached for her hand.
"I said talk, not touch."
"Fair enough." He gathered himself. "Robin—I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am for not stopping them from capturing you in the first place. I would've given anything to take your place."
"They raped me, Zoro."
"I know that."
She stared at him.
"They would've done the same to you."
"Robin. Please, if you understand nothing else, understand this. I would give my soul to protect you. You are my nakama. My heart is bound to you, Robin. End of story."
She looked at him, resolve beginning to crack.
"I have done everything I could do to respect you and give you whatever you needed. When you needed comfort, I stayed up through the night. When you needed space, I left you damn well alone. When you tried to bash your goddamn head in to get away from everyone, I brought you here. Robin, woman, understand that I am on your side, okay? You need love, you've got it. You need a punching bag? Here I am. Take a hit. Hard as you can."
"Zoro…"
"You want to kill me, do it."
"Zoro, I—"
"You want to tell me I'm nothing to you now? Want to tell me to castrate the others? Want to tear me apart? I'm waiting, woman."
"Please—"
"Feeling polite now, eh?" Zoro caught himself to keep in check. This was a fine line. "What, does the beast have a chink in her armor?"
"I can't—I didn't—"
"Can't what? Can't hold your rage in twenty-four hours a day? Can't make the nightmares stop on your own? Can't shut up the noises in your head without suicide? Can't cope with the mess those fucking monsters left behind? Can't what, Robin?"
"I'm—Zoro, I can't…I can't stand the—everything"
"Oh, can't stand it, now? Can't stand how much everyone cares about you?"
"No, NO," she pounded her fist in frustration. "They're all—they—they feel like…them." Her effort at pushing the words out showed on her face, as though she were pushing against a physical barrier. "It's all…the same. Zoro…men…everyone. They're…they're them still."
"Robin—"
"I can't do it because they're still in me, Zoro! Goddamn it, they're still inside me and it's everyone and it's you and it's them and I can't get them gone out of my head!" she dropped her head in abandoned sobs. "Goddamned it, Zoro. Goddamn it, goddamned it…"
He tentatively shifted his hand from her hair to her face, wiping away tears with his thumb, cradling her cheek in his calloused palm. "Robin, listen to me. You do not have to do this on your own. I swear to every sword forged, I will not hurt you. Please trust me. Please let me help you."
She hesitated, pulled in too many directions. The voices in her head and the voices in her heart fought the look in her eyes. She met his gaze. "Zoro, I—okay," she swallowed. "Okay," she was consumed by racking sobs. "Okay, I trust you."
He pulled her toward her, wrapping his arms around her as she clung limply to his chest. "Okay, Robin. Let's start here then, okay?"
She nodded.
"I've got you. You're safe." She nodded again. "You're safe."