Captain Levi Ackerman retired to his quarters for the evening. It had been an emotionally taxing return for what remained of the Survey Corp soldiers - countless lives were lost in the failed attempt to capture the Female Titan, even resulting in the complete wipe out of the Special Operations Squad, save for Eren and himself.
Levi would let himself grieve his fallen comrades, but absolutely refused to allow these emotions to reflect on his face. Except today, when he met with her father.
The Survey Corp made their return with dark expressions on their faces and a cart of what bodies they were able to salvage after the Titan ambush.
Don't regret it.
Levi himself had given the order to drop corpses from the cart that would allow them to escape from pursuing Titans.
She was there.
He had no one to blame, not that he was looking for a scapegoat. He made the right call, and she would've understood. Of all people, she knew that whenever he made any decisions, he would have already taken careful consideration into-
"Captain Levi!" an elderly man called out to him, interrupting his thoughts. Mr. Rall… Petra's father.
"I know I should make this quick, she'll get upset if she sees me here!"
Mr. Rall, I don't know if I should tell you this now…
"...especially after that letter she sent..."
Mr. Rall, your daughter was a good soldier…
"...she doesn't understand how worried that makes me!"
We weren't able to bring back the body…
"...she wants to dedicate her life to you!"
What?
In the end, he never did manage to tell Petra's father, and he simply let his horse lead him back to where he needed to be. He'd find out tomorrow, when soldiers would be dispatched to deliver the news to the deceased or missing person's families.
Missing… right. They called them 'missing' because they'd been eaten, so they couldn't bring the bodies back.
But in this case, it was because he ordered her corpse thrown off and fed to a Titan.
Petra admired him, that much he knew. It had been a thing for her to tell Oluo to piss off because he was constantly trying to talk like him. It was a habit that irritated even him, but decided not to make a fuss out of it when he realized the only reason he did it was because Oluo had a thing for Petra.
Petra admired him… screw that, the woman was in love with him. He wasn't dense and knew when a woman had her eyes on him. He wasn't bragging about it though, because he never really cared.
His thoughts went back to a woman who did manage to capture his heart, although she never really saw him as more than a brother.
Isabel Magnolia was a street rat that Levi and Furlan Church took in, back in the days they were living as thugs in the underground. She had called him 'big brother' right off the bat, and he dismissed it. He simply saw her as a child to care for, rather than letting her run about and get into trouble in the streets.
But she wasn't a child.
Levi recalled one day how he was on his way home when he saw Isabel getting into trouble with thugs who were even further down the food chain than they were. These were far-worse criminals than they were, and wouldn't hesitate to kill a child if it suited them.
"Have a few drinks with us," one of them - the ringleader, Levi guessed - was pulling on Isabel's arm, and she was struggling to pull away against the man's grip. The details are a blur now, but what Levi remembers clear as day was flying into a rage when he heard Isabel cry out in pain.
Nobody hurts her. Nobody touches her. Nobody...
Isabel was in hysterics, mostly because she was relieved she had been saved, and immediately Levi took her in his arms to soothe her. "You're fine," he whispered. "You're okay."
Isabel hugged him back, sobbing and screaming about how scary these men were, and that it was a good thing Levi was there to protect her. "Thank you, brother," she told him, a huge grin plastered on her face.
Levi smiled and ruffled her copper-colored hair. "Idiot," he said gently. "Let's go home."
He realized then that he would never be more to her other than a brother, but that was okay. She had his heart, and as long as he stayed by her side, then nothing else would matter.
Levi could hardly believe what was laid out in front of him.
Bodies... No, not even. Body parts.
He'd come across Survey Corp members that were almost unrecognizable in his rush to get to Erwin Smith. But he was prompted to turn back as he saw the sea of dead soldiers, with a dying one pointing back in the direction he'd just come. "The Titan..." the soldier's last words rang clear in his head.
A Titan... had they missed each other?
Furlan. Isabel. No.
He'd left his friends behind, and he needed to get back to them before it was too late. Hurriedly, he turned his horse around and galloped at full speed in the direction the dead one had said to go. Back to his formation.
Furlan. Isabel.
How could he have missed the Titan? Was it... what did they call it, an Abnormal? He didn't see it, which meant the rain had covered him, kept him safe. He could only hope this was the same for his friends.
Furlan. Isabel.
I should have insisted that they stayed back, Levi angrily chastised himself. He would have been able to finish the mission on his own, and it wouldn't have involved risking his friends' lives. He would have retrieved the document they needed, killed Erwin Smith easily, and secured an abundant life for them above ground, in the city.
No... now was not the time for should'ves and could'ves. He had to hurry. He had to save them.
Isabel. I'm coming.
Levi lifted his feet up onto his desk, shaking away the feelings of years past that he'd thought he buried long ago. But while he could try to lock away the emotions, he would never forget the sights.
Isabel's head, eyes wide open with terror... was this what she felt when she died? Most likely. Anyone about to be killed by a Titan would know nothing but fear.
Furlan was long gone, his body torn in half and thrown several feet away from the Titan that had devoured part of him.
Levi killed the Titan. Finished it off quite easily in fact, though he has no memory of it. He assumed that it was due to the grief he felt, and the rage that consumed him afterwards. He'd be told later on that what he did was dangerous - charging into battle with a clouded mind - and the whole of the Survey Corp was in awe that his impulsiveness hadn't gotten him killed.
At Erwin Smith's insistence, Levi committed himself to the Survey Corp. But to ensure his success, he decided that he would never let his emotions get the best of him. He'd never be as reckless as he was before, and to make sure of that, he would never allow himself to fall in love again.
Petra Rall. Levi allowed himself to smile for the first time today. He'd decided to close off his heart, and yet this woman managed not only to weasel her way in, but even stood by his side no matter how coldly he treated her attempts to make him notice her as a woman.
She was a fine soldier - he wouldn't have handpicked her to be part of his Squad if she was anything less, and yet...
Isabel. Petra.
Women really are a troublesome lot, aren't they? Levi thought. Tears fell down the Captain's face, and he decided that he would also let himself mourn them today. Let them have the grief they were due, and remember them not only for their deaths, but for the sacrifices they'd chosen to make for the sake of a better future.
Tomorrow, he would soldier on, carrying the strength necessary to continue their attempts to save humanity, no matter how futile they may be. Tomorrow would be another day.