"And, oddly enough, he needs me, too. That part worked out better than I could have hoped." - Rosalie, Eclipse, p. 165 (Stephenie Meyer)

Quick note: Thanks for your reviews and encouragement! I really value your kindness and your reviews! Thank you for investing in me and this story! In this uncertain time, I hope this story provides you some sort of escape or comfort. I'm sending all my love to you all.

A chapter with Dorothy is in the works, potentially in the next few, just some more things to set up story wise to tie things up here and be good with leaving them for a bit... Lots coming up soon!

Side note: PLEASE BE STAYING HEALTHY AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELVES!

Please consider leaving a review! Every word means the world to me! Thank you immensely for your words thus far.

TW/CW: A little easy peasy lemon squeezy in here ;) you were warned

Moderation

Want me to love you in moderation
Do I look moderate to you?
Sip it slowly and pay attention
I just have to see it through
You got me looking for validation
Passion's new
Want me to love you in moderation
Well, who do you think you're talking to?

Then bow your head in the house of God
And little girl, who do you think you are?

Emmett

"Parlez… lentement…. s'il vous plaît." I stumbled through the sentence and Rosalie bit her perfect bottom lip, amusement in her eyes.

"Your accent." She giggled.

"God, what's wrong with it this time?" I tossed my hands up in half fake frustration.

"You sound like you're from Tennessee." Rosalie said.

"Well sweetheart, I am." I rolled my eyes, winding my arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek.

She tried to get me to focus and correct my pronunciations, but it was mostly hopeless and I learned that with just how elastic my mind was, new language was still a challenge. It made it fun to be a challenge though, as so many other things came so easily.

I enjoyed learning languages also because I loved having an excuse to look at her mouth.

I loved watching her speak French….

"Do you know what you said?" She asked, putting my thoughts back on track.

I nodded.

"Talk slower, please." I translated.

"Good." She approved.

"Bien." I attempted knowing it sounded wrong.

She bit her lip again, her eyes sparkling.

"Goddammit. I tried." I laughed.

"You did." She grinned, tucking her hair behind her ear then she spoke her previous phrases slower so that I could understand.

Things had rapidly progressed with Rosalie this week, but still in a way that felt natural and not too fast. Being close to her was the most natural thing I'd ever experienced, but it was still a marvel that she remained so close to me.

Dancing together and talking so deeply had seemed to help her feel more comfortable opening up to me again, and I thanked my lucky stars for that.

It was troubling that she'd had such a hard time coming to terms with our physical relationship, though of course it wasn't a surprise to me when she expressed her concerns. I wish I'd been sharp enough to intuitively know these reservations she had, but even now I hoped I was strong enough to respect them.

I had to be.

And, of course, to me she was worth it.

I still didn't understand her guilt and her fixation on 'fault' and I couldn't pretend to. But, I could see it in her eyes every so often when she imagined she'd pushed me to a limit I couldn't control myself at.

She'd kissed me too deeply. She'd worn a dress that showed her figure. She'd let her gaze linger.

She operated with a cautiousness around me that I couldn't understand, but

The past few days it was evident progress had been made because she didn't get up and leave any room I entered, in fact, we spent most of the time together, if not side by side.

She finally seemed confident enough to spend time with me and speak with me in front of the others as well, though when I reached for her hand to hold as I sat next to her, she denied it.

Baby steps I suppose.

Carlisle hadn't let us go hunting alone this morning, and so he and Esme accompanied us, but as if it was some sort of test that we'd passed, we'd been left alone for the last few hours.

For this, Rosalie and I both seemed thankful.

I loved seeing parts of her that no one knew. I loved experiencing things with her in our own private world.

She bloomed when we were alone…

She kissed me then, soft and sweet and I smiled against her mouth.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, her eyes darting over my face.

"You." I assured her.

It pleased her to no end of course, and I was happy.

"I want you to read to me." I requested, seeing her fingers dance around the spine of the book she'd brought along.

French poetry.

She figured it'd help my proficiency along, and I agreed of course, but I was just wanting to watch her speak really.

Rosalie was too well mannered to admit she also wanted to boast her French speaking skills to me by reading aloud. I could see it in those pretty, stubborn eyes of hers now as they filled with beautiful, confident pride.

As we settled in for the afternoon under the clouds with the looming promise of snow, time passed slowly and sweetly. We orbited around one another naturally, beginning to intersect as we touched in a second nature ease.

"Je songe à notre Terre, atome d'un moment,

Dans l'infini criblé d'étoiles éternelles,

Au peu qu'ont déchiffré nos débiles prunelles,

Au Tout qui nous est clos inexorablement." Rosalie's voice was soft as velvet, her tongue curling around her words in a way that seemed to have texture, smooth as silk and rich as chocolate.

I loved hearing her speak French even though I hadn't the slightest idea what she was saying yet. I caught some words, but watched her eyes as they scanned the page, seeing melancholy in them so I knew the poem was sad.

I didn't dare close my eyes because I wouldn't be able to marvel at her angel's face, but I would've heard the sadness in her voice even if I couldn't see it crossing her eyes like shooting stars.

"Et notre sort! toujours la même comédie,

Des vices, des chagrins, le spleen, la maladie,

Puis nous allons fleurir les beaux pissenlits d'or." She continued.

She was reading Triste, Triste from a book she held with her right hand. In the crisp autumn air, we sat together on the cliff's edge with magnificent blue mountains stretching out around us. Mountains made me feel at home, but it was more the way my head laid in Rosalie's lap and the way her free hand mindlessly turned through my hair as she read that calmed me most.

This was the first day since I'd woken up as a vampire that everything inside of me felt… normal. Before, I'd felt like I'd been struck by lightning and the electricity was still wildly zapping through my veins. I'd been on edge, tightly wound, ready to explode… I'd been volatile and reactive, readily vibrating with energy, but in this moment…

In this moment, I exhaled.

I watched her mouth curve around her 'r's and I realized I'd never felt this at ease.

Ever.

Even human.

I'd always been running, always been turning, always been trying, always been… reaching.

Now, I was still.

She must've felt me exhale because she looked down at me and gave me a smile.

"What is it?" She asked.

"You're beautiful." I told her, starting to kiss her perfect skin, starting at the palm of my hand and crawling up her wrist as I pulled her down to me.

Her mouth turned up and a radiant smile stretched across her face.

"You're supposed to be paying attention." She said with a little teasing bite on her bottom lip that made me want to kiss her.

I waited though, and as she ran her hand through my hair, I took a deep inhale, wanting to breathe this moment in.

"I am." I told her matter-of-factly. "Now please, finish."

"L'Univers nous reprend, rien de nous ne subsiste,

Cependant qu'ici-bas tout continue encor.

Comme nous sommes seuls! Comme la vie est triste!" She exclaimed.

I knew it was the end by the way she pulled her voice, the way she breathed. The way she let the words resonate. The way she weighed the poetry.

"What does it mean?"

"It's… about sadness." She explained, her eyes hovering to the space where the mountains cut into the skies.

"Why are they sad?"

"Well…" Rosalie frowned. "There's not really a circumstantial reason in the poem; it's just about the condition and expression of sorrow. Contemplating sadness, not being sad."

"I'm not sure I understand the difference." I said.

Her brow furrowed and she dove deep into thought.

"Well… I suppose it's about the emotional experience departed from the causation or circumstances to make the poem more universal." She imagined intelligently. "Everyone's been sad… But, everyone's had a different reason to be."

"I never want you to have a reason to be." I told her, looking up into her perfect golden eyes. "Never again."

She exhaled heavily, and I couldn't pretend I couldn't feel the condition of sadness that weighted her down, the sorrow that painted over her perfect face.

"What is it, Rose?" I asked sitting up next to her, taking her face in my hands.

She pressed her forehead to mine, and I realized this was becoming a habitual act to ease whatever hard thing we needed to say when it was too difficult to look into each other's eyes and say it. I closed my eyes as she closed hers and wound her arms behind my neck.

"I know you care about me…" She started. "And… you do make me happy."

"But…" I pressed knowing it was coming.

"But, I'm still… sad." She breathed, her breath sweet on my lips as she said these heavy, awful words. "And I don't know if I ever won't be."

My stomach felt droopy and heavy as I processed her sadness.

"Why are you sad?" I asked her, seeming like this was the most simple question.

It wasn't - not to her.

"I suppose it's become a habit at this point." She murmured. "Like the poem… The reasons… They're there but… it's insignificant and so far away now it seems silly to be sad over them anymore. Sadness is just… ever-present now. Just a part of who I am."

"Are you sad right now?" I asked though it seemed stupid.

She just nodded, but still held my forehead against hers.

"Let me keep tryin to make you happy though, Rose." I mumbled, taking a deep breath. "Please. You can be. I know you can. I've seen it."

I felt her swallow, winding her arms around my neck now. We faced each other with honesty and openness, and she kept her forehead connected to mine.

"That's what makes me saddest." She breathed, admitting what seemed like the hardest part.

I clenched my jaw, this feeling an awful lot like rejection.

"Because… I… I want to be happy for me, but now, I want to be happy for you too." She said. "You try… so hard, and you're so good to me and, you are so… light, but I'm not. I'm dark and heavy and…"

"I don't care." I told her seriously, holding her close.

"But I do." She said softly, but with authoritative finality. "Because… Because I… I care about you, Emmett. I do. So much and…"

Even with how beautiful her words were, I hated the darker message behind them.

"Don't." I cut her off, not wanting her to finish.

She touched her lips to mine, ever so slightly and it made me shiver.

"I know you deserve someone that can be happy with you… and weightless, and light." Rosalie mumbled, but she wasn't finished.

"I don't want someone else…" I started to argue again.

This seemed to resonate with her deeply, seeing I wanted her. It fueled a spark in her.

But she played coy.

I knew what she was doing, and I knew what she wanted.

And, I was up for giving it to her.

She wanted my devotion.

"I just want you." I told her.

"But things are always going to be difficult between us…" She breathed, tracing her lips over the corner of my mouth.

"We can handle it." I assured her, wanting to taste her.

She could feel it.

"But, what if we fight?" She asked.

"We'll challenge each other." I worded it prettily, hoping she'd find it amusing.

"And, what if you get tired of me?" She worried, her voice small and unsure.

"I'm crazy about you, Rose. Don't you see that?" I held her face in my hands, keeping her close.

She didn't answer and I touched my lips to hers, speaking against her skin.

"Don't you feel it?"

"I'm so selfish." She grieved, pushing away and now looking straight into my eyes, strength and power flickering through them. "I can't let you have what would be best for you. I won't."

"Because, I want you for myself." Rosalie said in barely a whisper.

In that moment, I would've done anything she asked.

I felt my dead heart wrench in my chest, as my eyes danced over her face.

Rosalie kissed me hungrily and confidently. I let her set the pace, though that wasn't always the easiest thing to do, especially right now.

She pulled her body closer to mine as she wound her arms around my neck. I kept one hand on her gorgeous waist and the other on her cheek, holding her to me. As we kissed, for the very first time she laid next to me.

Rosalie tilted her chin up to initiate another kiss and this time, her ankle draped over mine as if testing the waters.

After this slow progression, she felt more comfortable advancing and she draped over me, her arm around my waist and her leg across mine.

I smiled against her mouth and she melted into me.

Innocence still surrounded her, and I didn't dare try anything fresh with her.

But, God in heaven…. Her body, against mine.

It took everything in me trying to hold myself back as she invited a deeper kiss and her body snaked around the length of mine.

She pressed her lips to mine with newfound fervor, before she trailed her kissed across my jaw and down my neck.

I tried to keep my cool and stay in my head, but recalling calmness was extremely difficult to do as her lips found the hollow of my collarbone.

It was a weakness.

It was the oddest thing that the more I tried to control myself with Rosalie, the more I thought about blood…

God what I wouldn't do for…

I was shocked back into reality with Rosalie as she tangled her legs through mine.

I halfway expected her to start pulling away, but she didn't.

I was careful with her then, but she clutched a handful of my shirt, her fingers hungry as she held me to her. She was straddling my right leg as she lay, and I wound my arm behind her back.

I could feel she wasn't committed to straddling my waist, but she was considering it.

Her lips found mine again in a feverish desire.

There was no sensation on earth like the sensation of kissing her, and my God, it just kept getting better.

She approached kissing me with curiosity now, testing and trying as she found what had been a previous boundary.

Her hand trailed over my stomach, stopping at my hip as her fingers curled around my waistband.

I was clay in her hands then, feeling desire flood through me as she pursued her quest at her pace.

But God in heaven… I needed her to touch me.

As we kissed, tangled up in each other, time stood still and rushed by all at once.

She molded her body around mine, finding space to fill to keep us connected in a way that seemed she was… asking for my hands on her.

I had to be sure though, and as I proceeded, I did so slowly. The hand on her waist, I let trail to her thigh, latching her leg around me. My other hand I had on her face I traced down her neck and over her collarbone.

I kept my fingers light on her, still over the fabric of her dress though I was tempted to start on her buttons.

I wouldn't dare.

She responded to my advances, leaning in to my touch and I was tempted to let my hand settle on her perfect chest. I wanted to feel her, and I squirmed at the thought, but I didn't do it.

Kissing was one thing, but we were horizontal and I knew that meant something to a fancy, mannerly gal like her.

"Emmett?" She breathed my name in a way that made me shiver.

I found her eyes then, and noticed she was present. Her eyes weren't flat or empty as they had been in the past when we'd kissed like this. They saw me.

"Touch me." Rosalie exhaled, drawing closer to me as I found her eyes.

They were wide and open, asking with vulnerability and trust that nearly overwhelmed me.

I just nodded before she pressed her lips to mine again, her kiss deliciously sweet all anew.

Those words made me absolutely filled to the brim with desire as I thought of what she asked.

Like a fantasy, she was mine to explore and so I touched her with reverence, but with a new divine hunger.

We poured ourselves out for one another, and I longed desperately for her indulgence.

I kissed her with assurance as I chased my desire to at last have my hands on her chest.

Traveling down her shoulder and over the fabric of her dress, I spread my fingers over her breast.

She sighed into my mouth, pleasure radiating out of the sound so it crucified me how badly I wanted her.

I kissed her deeper and harder and she wound her leg around me, tighter.

I touched her and she melted into me.

I wanted…

I caved to my need and I tried. Taking her hips in my hands, I shifted her over so she had one knee on either side of my waist.

Rosalie was cautious and kept her hips tilted backward and away, but she was on top of me nonetheless and I pressed to my hands so I could sit up under her, closer.

Our lips stayed connected and I kept my hands on her, touching her in a way that made her sing.

She relaxed into me then, feeling me between her legs, but this time not being scared off by my desire.

Instead, she seemed pleased. She took my bottom lip in hers and gave it a swift little bite.

God, she was something else.

We wanted more.

Shit.

Her body.

We pulled away from each other in unison, both checking in to each others' eyes, and though we didn't need oxygen patterning our breath to one another's as it quickened.

She kept her eyes in mine as she reached down between her legs and under her skirt to my waistband where she would try once again what she'd begun earlier.

My dead heart thudded in my chest and all over again I pulsed with desire; we were silent now but so much filled the air as she changed and her confidence grew.

"Are you sure?" I asked in a low, resonating growl already knowing it'd be the damn near hardest thing I'd ever have to do to pull way from her now.

"Yes." Rosalie's eyes floated down, but I kept mine on her as her thumb flicked the button open and her fingers dove past the waistband of my trousers. She bit her bottom lip as she pulled at the zipper.

I couldn't help myself then, kissing her with need. She lingered her fingers and a rumbling exhale pushed at my throat as I anticipated her touch.

I felt her hand trembling slightly as she approached this boundary with ultra sensitive caution. She kept her hand atop of the fabric of my underwear, this barrier seeming important to her.

My body was vibrating with the energy of need and I desperately wanted…

Holy. Fuck.

Rosalie Hale.

I released from her lips, but kept my forehead to hers as I exhaled deeply, my hands hungry on her body as her hand traced down the length of me.

The moment she did that, I knew never again was I my own. I was hers.

And I was hers gladly.

She paused in her uncertainty, but the way I reacted urged her on encouragingly.

I couldn't think clearly, nothing I'd ever experienced before with dull human senses compared to the way it felt having her hands on me, a teasing precursor.

I was greedy and I wanted more.

Rosalie exhaled full of dreamy sensuality as she took stock of what I had in my pants, and boyish insecurity flashed through my mind like an awkward shooting star.

Rosalie was still straddling my lap, her hand between her legs and down my pants. I imagined touching her like she touched me.

I imagined what it'd be like to be inside of her.

My mind was difficult to gain control of, and as she kissed me and I let my hands explore her perfect body, I tried desperately to focus.

But, oddly enough the more I tried to focus on controlling my physical lust for Rosalie and keeping myself in check to protect her, the more blood lust was allowed to take the forefront in my mind.

My throat burned now as she continued, her fingers coming to the waistband of my underwear, and I felt blood lust ripping through my cognizance until I couldn't do it anymore.

I couldn't.

Blood.

Human blood.

My focus turned and immediately I was a predator.

I was a man secondarily…

I shoved her off of me, feeling threatened by her presence in the hunt, ripping through the woods with panicked desperation until I found it.

A small camp, three of them.

In blind thirst, I unleashed.

All the power I'd had to keep in check. All the control I'd had to display. All the withholding I had to do.

I surrendered.