After a few minutes of breakfast professor McGonagall stood up.
"Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention!"
After a few seconds the murmur died down.
"As all of you know by now, today is the day of the memorial, and all classes after lunch will be cancelled because of it. Also, after breakfast until one 'o clock the great hall is out of bounds to anyone who is not involved in the preparations for the service. Therefore, lunch will be served in your common rooms. I would like to request everyone stay there until one, after one all our guests will arrive, and you are allowed to meet your friends and family, if they are here. Please note that any floor above the second is out of bounds for our guests. The memorial will start at two. Attendance is not obligatory. Until lunch everyone, except you, miss Granger, please stay behind after breakfast, is expected to follow the normal routine and attend all classes. Now, off to class, all of you!"
Breakfast ended and students started filing out of the great hall.
"Hello Harry, Ron. It's good to see you again. Are you ready for the memorial?"
"Hey Luna, good to see you too. And, err… I'm not really looking forward to the memorial. But we'll get through it.", he answered Luna, who had appeared behind him.
"I heard you are going to make a speech", a voice on his other side mentioned.
"Hey Dennis. Yes, I am."
"Nervous?"
"Yea, a little…"
That was a lie. Even though he tried his best not to think about it, nerves were already racing through his body.
"You'll do great! Just remember how you taught the DA, you are good at making speeches!", Luna declared.
On the other side of the Great Hall the door to the chamber behind opened, revealing Jacobs, the head of the organisation committee. She quickly scanned the hall, spotted them and moved her way over to them.
"Good morning Potter, Weasley, Granger." She said, she nodded at the others still trailing behind. "Could we see you in that room to start preparing you for this afternoon?"
"Sure. But could we wait another fifteen minutes?" Harry asked. He still wanted to walk Ginny to class and see some of the restorations done to the castle.
Jacobs sighed. "Sure. But no later! We have a lot to do today!"
With that she briskly turned around and walked back to the chamber.
"Come on", he stood up and grabbed Ginny's hand. "I'm going to walk you to class."
While they were climbing up the marble staircase he asked her.
"What classes do you have today?"
"First charms, with Slytherin, then potions, with Hufflepuff, Defence with Ravenclaw and muggle studies with Ravenclaw."
They arrived at the charms classroom just in time. Harry quickly kissed her goodbye, a little longer than he had intended. When he looked up again, he saw professor Flitwick standing in the doorway, a little uncomfortable.
"Er, hello sir. I was just… Er… I'll be off now."
"Yes, hello mister Potter. Good to see you again. Healthy and well. Good luck at the memorial. And, er… congratulations.", he motioned between Harry and Ginny.
"Yeah, thanks…" and with a quick kiss on Ginny's hair he was gone.
When he entered the room behind the Great Hall, Ron and Hermione were already there.
"Ah, Potter, you're here." Jacobs declared.
Harry liked Jacobs a lot, she was a nice person, it was just that sometimes she could be too stressed out by a minor change or detail.
"So, the plan is that we go over your part of the ceremony. Then you will have time to prepare for it and at one 'o clock I want you back in here. Madam Malekins and some assistants will them prepare your clothing, hair etcetera for the ceremony. Is that all right?"
"Yes, that sounds good to me. Although I would advise you not to bother doing anything with my hair. It won't have any result anyway."
At this Jacobs frowned, she clearly didn't like that, but she didn't say anything about it.
Jacobs walked the three of them through the planning of the ceremony and for the hundredth time told them what was expected of them. Then professor McGonagall entered the room.
"Aletta, could I have a moment with the three of them?" She asked Jacobs.
"Er, well, sure. We're about done. That gives me some time to direct the preparations at the gate. Oh, and I have to check up with the progress in the Great Hall." With that she left.
Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were sitting at the table in the middle of the room, looked up at professor McGonagall, wondering what she would want to say. McGonagall walked over to the window and looked out over the Hogwarts grounds. Suddenly, she turned around and smiled.
"I'm happy Albus and my ship sailed. Both of them, actually." She said.
The trio looked at each other.
"Sorry, but… What?" Ron asked.
"Our ship. We teachers, we spend a lot of time here too, so after a while we really get to know our students. Better than many students realise. That's why sometimes, we also see a relationship coming, months before it actually happens. Well, that has grown out into a betting battle between the teachers about who will end up with who. As you might understand, Harry, you were a very popular subject of bets. Everyone had their expectations, and we all wanted you to end up with someone from our house. Well, all but professor Snape. He wasn't very active in the bets. Albus and I, we were a very good team. We scored a lot of points in the bets. We also happen to be the only ones that foresaw you and Ms. Weasley ending up together. We also got the two of you correctly, but that was more widely expected. Anyone who paid attention could see that coming for years now." She smiled.
Harry was at a loss of words. Teachers placing bets on students relationships? That didn't sound right… But McGonagall had already continued.
"But what I came here for, was to apologise, Harry. To you. I let you down. All the adults in your life have failed you, and I am sorry for it. As your head of house, as your teacher, but above all, as a human being, an adult, I should have done more to protect you. You were constantly exposed to danger under my watch, and I should have prevented it. I'll admit, nine out of ten times I don't know how on earth the three of you were able to escape our watch, but you did. I always tried my best to treat you as any other kid in this school, but you clearly weren't like any other kid in this school. You needed help. You were already damaged the moment you first walked through those doors, and every end of term you left, a little more damaged even."
"Professor, with all due respect but that can't possibly be your fault! You always did for me what you could. I walked into that trouble myself, with a little extra push from Dumbledore or one of the Defence teachers."
McGonagall smiled at him.
"I just want to say that your parents would have been so proud of what you have become, Harry. So am I. You have grown up to be a strong and powerful wizard, in many more ways than just magical abilities. Next to your happiness, it was their greatest wish for you."
With that she turned around and walked out the door.
"Wow, I've never seen McGonagall so sentimental before! What's happened to her?" Ron exclaimed.
"I think the war has changed her. Ever since this school year started she makes sure she is always available to talk. She is more concerned with students mental health and well-being than Dumbledore has ever been. I think so many kids getting mentally damaged under watch has really done it."
Harry, still baffled by this unusual behaviour of McGonagall, stood up.
"I'm going for a walk. Revising my speech."
"Don't you want to practise it on us?" Hermione suggested.
"Yeah, mate. You've been revising it 24/7 the past weeks. I'm sure you know it by now." Ron added.
"Nah. I don't want anyone to hear it yet." I can't change it anymore if it's bad. I'll only get more scared to do it. He added in his mind.
He set off for his walk. The Great Hall was busy with people setting it up for the ceremony. Some people were using undetectable enlargement charms to make the Great Hall many times bigger, others were conjuring chairs from thin air and directing them to stand on their according spot in the hall. He went out through the oak doors outside. He walked in the direction of Hagrid's hut, but saw that he was teaching so turned around again.
He just walked around the Hogwarts grounds, recalling his speech from his mind and checking his parchment once in a while.
The weather was nice. A perfect autumn day, the forbidden forest had turned red and orange and the sun shone high in the sky. As long as he kept focussing on his text he was fine.
After an hour he went back inside again, but instead of going back to Ron and Hermione he walked up the marble staircase and started walking through the hallways. Suddenly he stopped dead. He recognised this corridor. This… This was the corridor Fred died in. His breathing got shallow, he was there again, watching Fred as he duelled deatheaters until…
"No… No no no… NO!" He moaned.
His speech. He had to keep focussing on his speech. He looked at his parchment but the words, so carefully chosen, swum before his eyes.
Think! Think! Recite the beginning, it's easy. Think!
But he couldn't anymore. He had to empty his head, but when he looked up, he saw that spot again.
Ginny! He needed Ginny! He had to check if she was safe. She hadn't listened, she went fighting. Ron and Hermione… No, they would manage, they had each other. But Ginny… She was alone! Ginny had him! He had to reach her, he had to find her. What hour was it? First? Fourth? Had the ceremony started yet? Loose sentences from his speech started swimming through his head. Do not deny the uncomfortable truth. Ginny. When a new dark lord rises again. Where was she. Let us be united with those who do not look like us. Third hour. It was the third hour. They were the soldiers who won us this war. FRED! Third hour. That meant… WHAT did that mean? He was innocent. My mother died for me. Defence. Defence against the dark arts. Umbridge. No, not Umbridge. It is pretend. Defence. Two corridors. One. There. That door. The room of Requirement. No. Ginny. Ginny is in there.
He managed to drag himself to the door, raised his hand to knock. He managed to open it, somehow, and nearly fell inside.
"Ginny. I need. Ginny"
He tried to appear as normal as possible, but inside he felt like he was going to die. He wasn't, he had had this before. But it felt…
As soon as she saw him, she stood up from her chair and walked to the door.
"I'll be back", she told the baffled professor. With that she pushed Harry out of the door and shut it behind them. Then she gently guided him towards the hidden stairs that would lead them towards the top of one of the lower towers.
Ginny. Is she hurt? I love her. The best defence is friends. It was everyone who had faith and was loyal. Ginny. Ginny. Ginny. Dumbledore was right. Ginny.
Ginny held his hands. She knew that hugging him in this state would only make things worse. He had had this before. Slowly, she placed one of his hands in his hart, with her hand over it.
"Follow your breathing. Breath deeply. Follow me, alright? Follow me. Okay. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Slooowly. Deeper. Right. Perfect. Deeper. Yes. In. Out. In. Out."
After a while his breathing became less shallow and slower, and eventually it was about normal again. His heart slowed down. His head cleared up.
"That was a bad one, wasn't it?" Ginny asked gently.
"Yeah… Don't think I had one as bad as that one before." He croaked.
She gave him a hug.
"Any significant causes this time? Or was it just the stress?"
"Fred. The corridor."
Her face fell. "Ah."
"How do you manage to be here every day? Like nothing happened?"
"The trick is not to act like nothing happened. I don't know what corridor Fred died in, so I don't feel anything when I walk through it. But when I pass places where I saw people die… Or that spot outside where Hagrid put you down, when we all thought you were dead… I try to avoid them but it's not always possible. Then I just keep repeating these words over and over in my head. They tell me it's over. They tell me it's all good now… It still hurts but… Less…"
He nodded. The memorial would be hard. For all of them.