The Only Exception (by Paramore)
Love was never an emotion Raven had thought she'd ever feel. It wasn't so much that she didn't think herself capable; it was more like she would never allow herself to love. Love was a weakness. She learned that from her mother's own story. Arella had loved and trusted the people who forced her to marry Trigon. Hell, she had even loved the interdimensional space demon. But he didn't love her. He just wanted to use her to procreate, to create his precious gem. His portal to dimensional domination. And her father had never loved anyone either. He was actually incapable of it, being a demon and all. That gave her a predisposition to not particularly care for any of the particularly good emotions, including love.
Her time on Azarath had lessened her desire for ever finding a significant other. Sure, Azar cared, but it was for the good of the universe, not for Raven. Other monks were opposed to Raven being there, and made it well known. Every day, she learned to shun her feelings, her true self, while not trusting others to ever help her. It made for a life of loneliness.
And Raven's very short time with Malchior only cemented the belief that she should be alone. Like Trigon did her and her mom, Malchior used Raven for her for his own selfish needs. She had trusted him; she probably had even been on her way to loving him. But he lied to her, manipulated her. Just so he could escape and, you guessed it, gain world domination. That was her first and last time ever thinking she could have love.
Starfire somehow seemed to know all this and was on a mission to prove Raven wrong. It started with attempts at setting Raven up with one of Star's many adoring fans, sometimes even tricking Raven into "girl time" that was really just a blind date. Raven declined every time. Finally, Raven confronted the Tamaranean, telling her she wasn't looking for a relationship, ever. That's when Starfire took the slightly more subtle route and began forcing Raven to watch rom-coms and Disney movies with her (I mean, come on, "conceal don't, don't feel," could it be any more obvious?). Raven had tried to talk her way out of those, but even she couldn't say no to Star's puppy-dog eyes. And after a while, Raven started to question her stance on love.
It had been the night Starfire had insisted on watching some movie called Moulin Rouge. It was a movie musical about a French prostitute, sorry courtesan, falling in love with an English writer, with all the songs being pop songs from the 80s and 90s. Although Raven would never admit it out loud, she did kind of love the movie. Being well-read, she really appreciated the obvious allusions to Orpheus in the Underworld, as well as all the symbols, costumes, and sets that subtly pushed the movie's message. The message that, surprisingly, really hit her hard.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
Raven's meditations seemed to be haunted by that sentence. Could she really love somebody?
That's when Beast Boy had started acting weird. Or at least, that's when she finally noticed it.
"Good morning, Rae!" Beast Boy exclaimed as Raven walked into the kitchen.
Since when did he get up before me? Raven thought. She responded with a stiff, "Hi." Intending to start making her morning tea, she moved to the stove only to see the kettle was already warm, cooling now actually. She turned towards Beast Boy to see her favorite mug sitting on the counter in front of him, his hand holding the handle.
Seeing her looking at the mug, Beast Boy smiled. "I thought I'd help you get a headstart on your day by making your tea for you," he explained.
A blush rose up into her cheeks, surprising the empath. When did she start blushing? "Th-thanks," she said, grabbing the mug. Their fingers brushed, and for a split second, Raven revelled in the warmth his fingers provided and her heart sputtered. Noting the odd reaction, she quickly pulled her mug, and by proxy her hand, away from Beast Boy's grasp. What was with her today? Without meeting Beast Boy's eyes, she turned to return to her room.
A hand on her arm stopped her. A green hand. She looked at it, then looked up at the owner. Her eyes met Beast Boy's for the first time in maybe ever. They were a deep, forest green, but a closer inspection revealed gold flecks dancing throughout his iris. She couldn't seem to pull herself away.
"Would you want to go out with me?"
Raven felt herself blushing for the second time that morning. "Like... a date?" she asked cautiously.
Beast Boy's hand immediately withdrew and he threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender. As if he were afraid of how Raven might react. She almost missed the blush spreading across her teammate's cheeks. "No! Just, like, as f-friends, ya know?"
"Oh." Raven finally broke her gaze into the changeling's eyes to look down to the floor.
"We just haven't hung out much, and I was interested in how you're doing. We could talk over coffee or something. But if you don't want to-"
"Sure," Raven interrupted. "I'll just need to get ready." She rushed out of the kitchen and headed towards her room, leaving an appalled Beast Boy behind.
She was going on a not date with Beast Boy. Why was this giving her a weird, almost nauseating feeling in her stomach? She ducked into her room and rushed to her closet. Moving quickly, she threw on a pair of torn, dark grey, high-waisted jeans and a black Metallica crop top. She laced up her black combat boots while she used her powers to grab her faux black leather jacket, then she headed back to the kitchen.
Beast Boy was standing with his back to her, cleaning the tea kettle. "Ready?" he asked without turning around.
"Yeah," Raven deadpanned, trying her hardest to hide the fact that her eyes were drifting over his backside. Seriously, what was with her today?
"Cool." Beast Boy finally turned to face her, the muscles in his arms rippling as drying his hands on a dish towel. For some reason, the sight made that nauseous feeling return to Raven's stomach. "Dude! You like Metallica?"
"Huh?" Raven responded.
The changeling pointed to Raven's shirt. "You're wearing Metallica."
Raven looked down at her shirt. So she was. "Oh, yeah. I listen to them sometimes, when I feel emotionally stable enough to do so. 'Fade to Black' is my favorite song by them."
"That's so awesome. I love Metallica, especially 'Master of Puppets.'"
"I see..." Raven was never the best at small talk like this. "Where are we going?"
"Oh, just out on the town." Beast Boy grabbed Raven's hands, eliciting a blush from both of them, and led her out the door of the Tower.
The day with Beast Boy had gone a lot better than she thought it would. They started out stopping by a cafe, Beast Boy buying Raven a tea since she hadn't had hers before they left. They sat there for a while, then Beast Boy led the way to a bookstore. After browsing the shelves, Beast Boy had picked out some comic books and Raven had found a few new books she didn't have yet. Beast Boy insisted on paying for those too. They grabbed lunch at a small bistro, Beast Boy paying yet again. For a not day, he really did pay for her a lot. The two Titans talked a lot over lunch, the exchange never dull. The day out ended with a stroll in the park, where their conversation turned more somber. Raven learned that Beast Boy's past wasn't as happy-go-lucky as the changeling himself was. She suspected his sense of humor was actually just a coping mechanism for the pain he went through and trauma of losing his parents.
When they got back to the tower, Beast Boy walked Raven to her door. That's when things felt the least not date. He was leaning against the door frame as they were finishing talking. A strand of hair had fallen in Raven's face, and Beast Boy had reached out and tucked it back behind Raven's ear, the palm of his hand lingering on her cheek. His heat sent little electric tingles through Raven's skin, and her stomach fluttered again. Their eyes met, and Raven was once again lost in his dark green irises. The two Titans started leaning closer to each other, as if they were opposite ends of a magnet being drawn together.
A giggle inside her mind from a certain, purple-cloaked emoticlone, broke Raven out of the daze. She quickly pulled back, causing Beast Boy to return his hand to his side. "So, um, I had a good time. Thanks." She quickly phased through her door. Once in her room, she placed her back against the closed door. She put her hand on her chest in an attempt to slow her pounding heart. There was no denying it, not anymore. She had feelings for Beast Boy. And, if his actions were any proof, it was quite possible he liked her back. After talking today, she knew so much more about him. She knew he wouldn't use her for his own personal gain. He cared for her already, as a teammate. It wouldn't be hard to move up to something more. Her eyes scanned her bookshelf until it landed on a small, ornate box. Inside were Raven's most prized possessions. She walked over, opened it, and picked up the small coin inside. She held the penny in her hands, feeling the cool metal on her palm. He would protect her, there was no doubt of that, not with this memento as proof of it. Maybe he was the only exception to her no-love rule. Maybe, just maybe, she could learn to love and be loved by Beast Boy.
A/N: Sorry it took so long to get something up. It took me forever to find a song I truly felt like had the feel of Raven catching feelings for Beast Boy. I've also been working on a one-shot for this series that is turning out a lot longer than I thought it would, plus it's been hectic trying to get a post-graduation job. I'll be trying to get others out in this and my other series while still working on it, and I promise it'll be a good one. As always, please review; they really help me improve!