Chapter 10: Helplessly in Love
Santana went to Quinn's house with her and Brittany. They went down to the basement and Quinn showed her the song. When it was over Santana looked at her, "OK, I don't think I love her but I do like her."
Quinn rolled her eyes, "Yes well no one writes songs about liking someone so I mean this is what you get or you could, oh I don't know, talk to her and tell her how you feel."
"I can't talk to her; I am too much of a spaz. The only reason I could tell Britt-Britt about how I felt was because we were best friends and even that took forever and I had to sing a song in front of everyone. And that didn't go too well for me," Santana bit her lip.
"I'm sorry," Brittany muttered, looking down.
Santana shook her head and smiled at Brittany, "It's OK Britt. I mean you are happy with Wheels so then I am happy for you. Plus, I wouldn't have started talking to Berry if you hadn't turned me down."
Brittany just grinned back at her friends before Quinn interrupted, "Yeah and you might want to start calling her Rachel and being a little nicer. Calling her Treasure Trails in the hallway isn't really helping."
"It's just habit," Santana looked at her. "Do you really think that it is making things worse?"
Quinn nodded, "Yeah, I mean I wouldn't want to be made fun of by someone I had a crush on."
Santana sighed and flopped on her back on the couch, "I'm the worse person ever."
Brittany shook her head, "You aren't the worse Sanny. I totally know more people who are badder than you."
"It's more bad Britt," Quinn said.
Brittany shook her head, "No, it's like fatter."
"Sweetie, it's more bad," Santana looked at the blonde.
Brittany sat there thinking about before she stood up, "OK let's work on Sanny's song for Rachel."
Santana stood, "Yeah, I want her to like it."
Quinn stood, "You need her to like it otherwise you are going to be alone forever."
"Thanks Q," Santana muttered as she laughed.
"I'm only kidding," Quinn smiled as she turned on the song. "But you will look funny dancing with only one arm."
Santana shook her head, "Yeah well I am going to blame coach for this. She is truly the devil incarnate."
"Pretty much, I don't even really know why I wanted to join the team again in the first place," Quinn shook her head.
"Because you are a power hungry bitch who outed my boob job," Santana laughed.
"Sorry?" Quinn shrugged.
"Whatever, let's get started," Santana laughed and they started working on the song.
Santana had a little trouble getting the dance to look right with only one arm and not bouncing around too much. At one point she took her turn to fast and caused her arm to bounce around and she howled in pain, clutching her arm.
"You OK S?" Brittany looked at her.
"I'm fine," Santana said through clenched teeth. "I can't do this Q, I'll either hurt myself or look like an idiot and after Pillsbury Doughturd, Rachel won't want to date another imbecile."
Quinn sighed and shook her head, "A) you are nothing like Finn and B) we will just have to secure it tighter to your chest so it doesn't flop around."
Santana looked at her, "Why am I doing this? I mean what if she hates me now? I mean she didn't even want to wear my clothes anymore."
"That's because you broke her heart. Trust me, if you tell her that you feel the same she will be all over you. I mean you two will be the cutest couple in Glee club yet because you might be able to get her to shut up every once in a while," Santana nodded her head at that. Rachel talked way too much. "And she might be able to get you to be a little nicer. Also I saw you two together doing that duet, I may not like her but you two look good together."
"I just don't want to mess it up Q," Santana sighed and sat down. "I mean, she's the only other person I've liked and I don't even know why I like her."
Brittany sat next to the two of them, "Well there has to be some reason that you like her. Does she read you stories like Lord Tubbington does to me?"
Santana shook her head, "No, when we were trying to pick out our song and she kept pulling out Barbra Streisand and musical numbers, it was just irritating. But then she accidentally called me a selfish bitch and I know that usually I would have kicked someone's ass for calling me that," Santana smiled as she continued. "But when she looked so scared afterwards and us never having heard her swear before, I don't know. I didn't want to hit her, I wanted to hug her and tell her that I wasn't going to kick her ass."
"Then the duet was fun and I realized that we sounded good together and I wanted to do more with her. And every time Finnept sings those stupid songs to her I want to kick his ass and tell him that he's not good enough for her. I want to be singing those songs to her to get her to date me instead."
Santana looked at Quinn, who was smiling at her, "But Quinn, what made me really fall for her was when I made her watch a horror movie and she got scared. She jumped into my arms for protection."
Quinn smiled, "So I guess you do know why you like her."
"Yeah," Santana let her head fall back against the couch. "So why couldn't I just tell her that I like her? Why couldn't I just kiss her?"
"You were scared," Quinn said.
"Everyone gets scared," Brittany leaned her head on Santana's shoulders. "But now you know she likes you, so that's good right?"
"Yeah Britt, it's good," Santana smiled and kissed her head.
Brittany stood suddenly, "I was supposed to meet Artie, we have a date."
"Well go, I'll see you later," Quinn stood and hugged her, then Santana stood and did the same thing.
Brittany nodded and ran out, going to meet Artie.
Santana laughed and sat down, "That girl will never learn will she?"
"Probably not," Quinn laughed and sat next to her. "So what did she say when she told you she like her?"
"Just that she knew I hated her but she liked me. Which me running away didn't quench her fear," Santana looked at her and frowned, "When will I stop messing up?"
"I can't tell you that," Quinn offered a sympathetic smile.
"I know," Santana sighed.
Quinn looked at her phone as it went off. She looked at it then up to Santana, "Um San, we may have a problem."
"What now?" Santana groaned.
"Someone recorded your conversation with Berry," Quinn looked at her, showing her the video.
Santana looked at her, wide-eyed, "Can no one have a private conversation in that stupid school?"
Quinn looked down at the comments, "Well one good thing, they aren't making fun of you. Bad news, they are trashing on Rachel to the max."
"What?" Santana took the phone and started reading some of them. 'I always knew that the thing was a dyke.' 'Even she couldn't get Lopez to like her.' 'She got out of there quick, I mean I would have just laughed at her.'
Santana stood dropping the phone onto the couch. Quinn stood and followed her up the stairs, "Where are you going Santana?"
"To kick Jewfro's ass, we both know it was him," Santana growled as she walked out of the house.
"Santana stop, you can't fight him, your arm is broken. Plus, you know that Rachel doesn't like violence so even if you are doing it for her, she still won't like it and you are trying to win her over," Quinn grabbed her good arm. "Just wait until tomorrow then you can slash everyone down with your words."
Santana looked at her for a second before sighing, "Why do you always have to be right?"
"I don't know," Quinn dragged her back inside.
When Rachel got to school the next day it was worse than she thought. People kept pointing and laughing, calling her a dyke. One of the older Cheerios tripped her as she walked to class and gave a fake, 'Oops,' before walking away laughing with other girls.
Rachel stood and grabbed her books before walking to her locker again. Blaine, Kurt, and Mercedes were waiting for her when she got there.
"Are you OK?" Blaine asked as she opened her locker.
Rachel shrugged and put in a book before pulling out another one and grabbing a notebook. Kurt bit his lip, "I'm sorry this happened."
Rachel shrugged again and closed her locker, "Well one good thing happened. Now everyone is focused on me and they won't worry about Santana anymore. Everyone is just so happy to get more dirt on me."
The three followed Rachel as she started walking, Blaine adding, "I'm sure it's not that bad."
"Some people are blaming my fathers, saying they turned me gay. I had to come out to them last night, they were fine with it, not fine that I hid the fact for so long," Rachel sighed. "I don't get this school's obsession with gossip. I am already feeling like an idiot and they are just adding fuel to the fire. I should have listened to you and not told her."
Mercedes looked at her, "I'm sorry. We didn't think this would happen."
Rachel shrugged, "Its whatever. I should have known she wouldn't have reciprocated my feelings. I was just being naïve to think she would have liked me too."
"Rach, it's not naïve," Kurt said.
"I have to get to class," Rachel muttered and walked away. In class wasn't any better than being outside of class. People kept whispering and laughing.
By the time Rachel got to Glee she thought she was going to be in the clear for the day. Things did not go as planned. As usual, Rachel was the first one there and as soon as she opened the door, she wished she hadn't been the first one there.
When she opened the door a bucket of sludge fell on top of her head and the bucket hit her head as it fell. It fell to the floor with a clang and on the bottom she saw the word 'DykeBerry' scribbled in big letters.
Rachel couldn't move as she stared at the contents spilling down her bottom. She didn't register the dull ache on the top of her head or the sounds of the other Glee members walking down the hall towards her. She didn't even flinch when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.
Sam was in front of her, trying to talk to her but she just turned away and threw up. Everyone was now in the room and saw her crouch on the floor, hands and knees as she emptied her stomach on the floor, then a trash can when someone brought it over.
When she was done she just sat there, not saying anything. Someone had started pulling off the meat chunks and intestines off of her and throwing them away.
People kept trying to talk to her but she wasn't responding. Brittany even got in front of her since it seems to work last time, "Rachie? Why don't we go to the locker room? We can clean you."
Rachel didn't answer as she stared straight ahead, tears falling down her face. Kurt and Mercedes tried talking to her but she didn't answer them either.
Finally, Santana crouched in front of her, "Rachel? Why don't we go get you cleaned up?" Rachel turned slightly to look at her but she didn't say anything. Santana held out her hand, "Come on, let's get you showered and changed."
Rachel just stared for a second before she took her hand and Quinn came over to help her stand up. Together Rachel, Santana, Quinn, Brittany, Tina, and Mercedes walked to the Cheerios locker room so that Rachel could shower while everyone cleaned up the mess so she didn't see it when she got back.
Rachel came out 45 minutes later, dressed in the same outfit Santana had given her yesterday. She looked at everyone, still not talking. Brittany walked over and hugged her, "Are you OK Rachie?"
Rachel just stood there and didn't say anything.
Brittany pulled away and frowned, "Why isn't she saying anything?"
"She is just shocked Britt," Quinn grabbed Brittany.
"Come on, let's get to Glee," Santana put an arm through Rachel's and guided her back to Glee.
As soon as they entered everyone started asking Rachel questions but Mr. Shue silences them, "Rachel, are you OK?"
Tina answered, "She still isn't talking but she is clean now."
"I think we should take her home," Kurt stood and went to the front. "Blaine and I can stay with her until her dads come home."
"I think that's a good idea Kurt," Mr. Shue said and Santana looked at Rachel before giving her over to Kurt and Blaine.
The two boys took her out and took her home. She didn't say anything to them, no matter how much they tried to talk to her. Even when her father's came home and tried to talk to her she didn't say anything.
Hiram and Leroy thanked the boys then after they left they got Rachel a cup of water, in the cup Shelby got her. They brought it to her and she took it, drinking it slowly.
When she was done she turned to them, "It was horrible."
"I know sweetie," Leroy hugged her and then Hiram joined in.
They sat like that for a few minutes before Leroy stood to make dinner. He made Rachel's favorite, Vegan Garlic and Chives noodles.
When they sat down to eat, they stayed in silence for a few minutes until Rachel spoke up, "Dads, can I tell you something?"
"Of course sweetie," Hiram looked at his daughter.
Rachel played with the noodles on the plate with her fork, before telling them in a voice barely above a whisper, "I just want you to know that this has nothing to do with you, it's just something that I have found out recently. And it was posted online and I want to tell you before someone else tells you or you see it online." She stopped and took a deep breath. She wasn't nervous that they would be pissed she was gay, she was worried that they would be mad at her because she didn't tell them sooner, "I'm bisexual. I like girls like I like boys. And right now I like girls a little more."
Both men were silent for a moment before Leroy spoke up, "What are you so nervous about? We aren't going to judge you, sweetie. You can like whoever you like and we will support you no matter what."
"I know I just… I didn't want you to get mad because I didn't tell you sooner," Rachel said.
Hiram smiled at their daughter, "Honey, we know how long it can take for you to figure out what it is that you are. Your sexual orientation can be a difficult and scary thing."
"We aren't mad that you waited until you were certain that that is how you feel. Especially since it can be even more confusing that you like both sexes," Leroy added on after his husband. "Why do you say that it's online?"
Rachel looked down for a long moment before replying in a whisper, afraid her voice would crack, "I just… I like someone. I started hanging out with her because of a Glee assignment and I don't know… I guess we became kind of friends. I… well… I developed feelings for her and I tried to tell her yesterday. I told her I liked her and, like an idiot, I tried to kiss her. Well she doesn't share my feelings and when I went in to kiss her she pulled away and ran away." She started to raise her voice as she continued, "I should have known though, I should have known that I wasn't good enough for her. She's Santana Lopez, I mean I changed my entire look for her and she didn't bat an eye. She's tormented me my entire life and she hates me so I don't know why I thought that she could actually like me."
She was crying now and her fathers' just came over and gave her a hug, trying to calm their little girl. When she finally calmed down she kissed them goodnight and went to bed.
Santana hadn't seen Rachel all day and when she saw the tiny diva, she immediately felt guilty. The starlet was surrounded by Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes, and Tina, all wiping colored liquid off of Rachel. She was in a white button up shirt, a purple and gray argyle sweater, white knee highs, and a gray pleated skirt.
She was back to the 'Rachel Berry' look.
Santana clenched her fists, "They slushied you?"
They all looked up but Mercedes answered before Rachel could, "It's Kool-Aid, not that you care. You made it clear that you don't like her."
"You could have at least talked to her instead of running away. Of course, unless you wanted to humiliate her like this all along," Kurt quipped.
Rachel grabbed their arms and pulled them down to sit with her again, "Don't, it's OK, it's my fault. I apologize for their outbursts. I understand why you don't want a dwarf."
Before Santana could say anything else Brittany came running up to Santana and jumped onto her, "Sanny!"
Santana turned to look at the ditzy blonde who had a frown on her face, "Britt, what's wrong?"
"Finn was mad at you because he said that you hurt his girl and made her gay. Then he called you a slut," Brittany pouted even more. "Then he said that you did the same thing to me, but I hurt you. You didn't hurt me."
"Britt, it's OK. I understand now, it was unfair of me to ask you to break up with your boyfriend for me. He was comfortable with being with you in public, I wasn't yet," Santana rubbed her one arm, trying to calm her friend.
"I told him it was my fault you didn't kiss Rachie," Brittany continued like she didn't say anything. "Because I made you sad and you didn't want to kiss someone when you were sad. Then he said that I was an idiot."
Santana let her arm drop from the girl as everyone else stared. She clenched her fist tight and growled. She started forward, "I am going to kill that giant oaf. I'll beat his ass with my one good hand. He can call me a slut all he wants but he isn't going to call you an idiot. You aren't stupid, he's the idiot."
"Sanny please don't," Brittany looked at her. "No violence, you'll get into trouble."
"I don't care if I get into trouble Britt, he needs to learn that he can't say and do what he wants," Santana went past the blonde just as Finn walked into the room.
Finn saw the angry Latina and before he could react, she kicked him in the balls. When he fell to his knees, holding his crotch she spat, "Next time you treat any of these ladies in here with disrespect, a broken hand won't stop me from killing you."
With that she punched him as hard as she could in the face. She started jumping and waving her hand, as she swore at the pain. Finn grunted and fell to the floor at the impact.
That's when everyone started moving, Kurt went to his brother along with Puck. Brittany went to Santana then came Rachel.
"San, you shouldn't have done that," Brittany looked at her.
"Yeah I realize that now," Santana hissed through clenched teeth as she kept waving her hand, hoping to shake away the pain.
Rachel looked at her and sighed, "Let me see your hand."
Santana reluctantly gave her hand over for inspection. She bit her lip as Rachel looked over it. When she was done she let go and muttered, "Just a little bruising is all." Then she turned and went to her seat.
Santana sighed and went to sit, Puck had taken Finn home, promising he'd get him to stay silent. The rest of the class went by as normal.
Mercedes and Kurt did 'Count Me Out'. They got a big applause and then Rory did 'My Secret'. He got his applause then Mr. Shue ended class.
Santana walked down the hall with Quinn to her car, "Q, I don't know if I can do this tomorrow, I mean, she is really upset with me. She told me she understood why I didn't want her. And used one of my insults to solidify it. I mean what if she rejects me just to get back at me. I don't know if-"
Quinn cut her off, "S, she is totally head over heels for you. If you tell her that you like her too, she will totally swoon. Just give it a chance."
"Fine but if this goes wrong, I'll kill you," Santana said.
"Yeah whatever. Let's go eat, I'm hungry," Quinn laughed and led her out to the car. They went to Breadstix then went to practice the song and Santana's speech a bit.
Tomorrow was not going to be easy for the Latina at all.
So I couldn't make it till 6,000 because I wanted to wait until the next chapter until I did Santana's song so maybe that one I can make 6,000. But I did do this longer than all the others. I wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviews and I wanted to tell Trumuh; It's totally awesome that that was your first horror movie. I watched is about 5 years ago with my mom and thought it was pretty cool, not really scary since I have been watching horror movies my whole life, but a good suspenseful one.
If anyone notices anything I'm messing up please let me know, I need help in order to get better. Anyways I'll see you Saturday and thank you for reading. Also the name of this is 'Helplessly in Love' by New Edition. Please review, favorite and follow if you can. Bye.